Strange Memories With You, My Dear

Chapter 02.05

Fate or Probability

Translated by KuroNeko
Edited by Omkar

After lunch, over a cup of tea, I opened Fukuhara-sensei’s book which I had brought with me, and asked him to teach me what I did not understand well. I have been given an explanation of his works directly from the famous physicist. It was a ridiculously luxurious time.  Sensei patiently explained what I didn’t understand, sketching a diagram on the back of a flier paper on the dining table with a ballpoint pen. His explanations were quite simple, employing a variety of obvious analogies that even a layperson like myself who just understands high school physics could grasp.

Auntie and Yuuko listened to us at first, but after a time, they appeared bored and began making small chats with each other while sipping their tea. They appeared to get along well as they spoke incoherently about Yuuko’s school, current movies, and other topics.

My nervousness gradually dissipated as I listened to the explanation and grew acclimated to the ambiance of the place. I thanked the professor after he described the book to me, and then I bombarded him with questions, this time concerning the distinction between scientific and engineering departments, as well as how college classes work.

Following that, the talk moved on to the latest physics news and cosmology, a subject I’d been interested in since I was a child. Yuuko and her mother were dishing and enjoying the sweets I had brought, exclaiming, “Delicious.”

“You and Nakayama-kun, take a break and have some sweets.” She said and put the sweets in a small plate and put it in front of us.

“Nakayama-kun went out of his way to buy this for us.”

“Is that so? Thanks. I used to love eating this when I was in Saitama.”

“Really? I’m glad,” I was relieved and drank the coffee she made me. Then, I asked him, just for the sake of chit-chat. “I often read your explanation of the many-worlds interpretation in your books with great interest, but do you suppose parallel worlds exist? I mean, like, we’re here now.” 

He took a few word-seeking pauses before answering. “I’m not going to be able to explicitly affirm the existence of parallel worlds. In this world, humans can only see three-dimensional space and time, therefore it is likely impossible to witness happenings in parallel worlds using any type of instrument. But I believe I have. In reality, the many-worlds view has gained popularity in the last decade or two.”

“But how can something that is not intuitively imaginable like that become acceptable to humans?”

He nodded to my question, tossed another piece of sweet into his mouth, and then said. “The earth was assumed to be flat in the ancient world. In the medieval era, the earth was thought to be the center of the universe, with just one fixed star, such as the sun. But that was a blunder. It is now widely accepted that the Earth is spherical, that there are numerous stars, and that the cosmos spans tens of billions of light years. Even if no one can see such things in everyday life. So perhaps there will come a moment when people will acknowledge the existence of a parallel reality. I’m not sure if it will happen in a decade or hundreds of years.”

The meal had concluded around an hour ago. Yuuko and her mother appeared uninterested in what Sensei had to say, so they sat on the sofa and began watching a TV drama. I was kind of watching the two of them.

“These two, they have little interest in my work.” he said and let out a small sigh.

“Because it’s hard,” Yuuko looked back at me and said, slightly puffed up.

“Because I’m not interested,” Yuuko’s mother said while watching TV. He then ate the sweets I had brought with me and drank coffee with his shoulders dropped in a gulp.

“Well, I often get criticized and discussed in various ways, too, so I’m more comfortable like this at home.” I didn’t know how to answer, so I just smiled and laughed anyway.

“He talks about his research with a lot of composure now, but when he was younger, he used to get upset because he couldn’t get recognition for his work.” She said as she looked at Yuuko and me.

Then, “Why do you say that, you…” Fukuhara-sensei said in a troubled and dismayed voice. Seeing her father in such a state, Yuuko laughed amusedly next to her mother.

I almost laughed at the ambiance of the room, but then I remembered to myself that the fact that a physicist’s research is not acknowledged is not anything to joke about, and I hastily drew my lips into a single line.

◇

I decided to leave Yuuko’s place at 9 P.M. after finishing my after-dinner coffee. I bowed and said to Fukuhara-sensei, “I’m leaving now. Thank you very much for your valuable talk.”

“It’s a walk to the station.”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’ll drive you home, then.”

“Ah, it’s okay, I’m fine.”

I shook my head in disbelief, but he responded, “Okay, then. I forgot to buy some books at the bookstore. The store will be closed if I do not go immediately,” Fukuhara-sensei remarked while putting on a coat that was hanging on a hook in the living room.

I stood up from my seat, carrying my belongings with me. Then, with Yuuko and her mother seeing me off, I walked out of the house with Sensei.

“Sorry to have disturbed you. The dinner was delicious. Thank you for the food.” I said and bowed my head before closing the door.

Yuuko’s mother waved her hand and said, “Until next time—,” and Yuuko said, “See you later.”

Fukuhara-sensei unlocked an black electric car from a domestic manufacturer in the garage next to the front door and said, “Come in.” With hesitation, I said, “Excuse me,” and slid into the passenger seat. He then started the engine, adjusted the automated driving function, which has numerous settings ranging from completely automatic to manual, to assist mode, and drove away silently.

“Yuuko told me that you are applying to the physics department of the university where I am.”

“Yes. I’m making it my first choice. But I don’t know if I can get in or not…”

“Study hard for the exam so you don’t regret it. I teach a class for undergraduates called ‘Quantum Mechanics’ and ‘Quantum Theory of Fields.’ This time, let’s meet at the university classroom.”

When he said those words to me, I was so happy that I got goosebumps.

“Yes. I’ll do my best.”

Motivation to study, which had been lacking recently, has resurfaced in a big way. I was determined to study diligently for the next three months or so. I had the distinct impression that I wanted to learn more from this man. We were around 10 minutes away from the east exit of Ikebukuro station when he pulled over. I stepped out of the car and said, “Thank you for everything you’ve done today. It’s been a pleasure speaking with you, Sensei,” and I bowed deeply in thankfulness. Fukuhara-sensei waved me through the windowpane before I started walking again.

I strolled through the congested Ikebukuro station late at night, boarded a newly arrived train, and stood at the door of the crammed train.

“Thank you very much for today. It was a lot of fun. Please thank your parents for today.”

Then I slid my phone into my pocket and gazed out the window. The train was moving swiftly, passing through multiple stations. The city lights rush by outside the window, making a line. It reminded me of my days as a club member and a short-distance runner. I instantly remembered how the normally calm surroundings seemed to move quicker merely for the 11 seconds and a few seconds I was sprinting. After speaking with Fukuhara-sensei, the uncertainties regarding my career path that had been gnawing at the back of my mind vanished like fog, and I could see the objective that I should be aiming for now.

◇

Then, over the winter, I studied relentlessly until the exam.

I’ve never studied so hard before in my life. I studied from dawn to night in a warm room, wearing a jersey and sweatshirt, and with the exception of a few breaks, naps, and runs, I utilized a navy blue mechanical pencil that I purchased over the summer and that fits well in my hand. Despite the fact that Yuuko and I continued to exchange status updates and messages on the chat application to support each other in our studies, we agreed not to meet until after the entrance exam.

I also felt that getting some moderate physical exercise every day would help me concentrate better, so I went for a run outside when my mind began to churn, simply for a change. Running in the cold air felt so good to my body, which was on fire in the heated room, that I felt I could understand a little bit why the long-distance athletes, who I used to think, “Are those guys masochists?” When I first started track and field, I was able to continue that painful competition and practice.

I took the exam for my main goal, the Tokyo University of Advanced Science and Technology, in the later part of February, after going to numerous private universities as a stopgap. I couldn’t sleep well the night before because I was so scared, but during the exam, I completed the questions without hesitation and was able to offer confident answers to several of them. My day off was the day following the exam, so I slept easily, as if I had passed out for the whole day.

When the acceptance announcement came a week later, I opened the university’s admission/rejection results webpage on my laptop. I attempted to relax as much as possible before going to the website, because the pattern of inputting the exam number and then receiving the results is not healthy for the heart. After taking another deep breath to relax, I entered the exam number on my voucher, prepared myself, and clicked on the “View Results” icon.

After a brief pause for connection, the results screen appeared.

Department of Physics, Faculty of Science, Tokyo University of Science and Technology

Examination Number: A1295

[PASS]

Unconsciously, I let out a “yes” sound and tightened my grasp on my right hand.

My face lit up with a genuine grin, and my breath was gushing, as if I had just crossed the finish line of a hundred-meter race. I felt a little dizzy from delight and relief. After a few seconds of alone bliss, I carefully examined the examination number on the screen and the number on the examination sheet in my hand, letter by letter, before taking a snapshot of the screen, saving it, and closing the page.

In one large breath, all of my emotions poured out of my mouth. My heart was still hammering, but it wasn’t as excruciatingly painful as it had been before. I exited my room and walked into the living room to inform my mother, who was preparing dinner, that I had passed.

“I got accepted for University,” I said, and my mother turned around.

“I see. Good for you,” she said. My mother, who had seldom interfered with my university entrance examination selections, told me that I could attend whatever school I liked, and had a smile on her face.

“Yes.” I nodded.

“You’ve got to study properly now.” 

“I know. I won’t waste the tuition money.”

I answered and returned to my room, where I laid down on my bed. My body’s strength progressively goes away. After dinner that day, I messaged Yuuko to inform her of my acceptance, and she added a message from Fukuhara-sensei in addition to her congratulations.

“Congratulations for getting accepted. Keep up the good work, and good luck with your uni studies. Fukuhara Shohei.”

I sent my reply right away.

“Last year, you encouraged me to study hard. Thank you so much.”

After a while, she said, “I forwarded it to my father’s phone. Let’s go out to eat somewhere together to celebrate your acceptance next time when our schedules work out,” I received a message. Yuuko had already been accepted into the education department of her first-choice university.

“Yes. I’m free on all Saturdays and Sundays from now until the end of March, so anytime is good for me at the moment. I think there are more good restaurants in Tokyo, so let’s go there.” I wrote that and put my smartphone on my desk.

I breathed as I rolled onto my back on the bed. My heartbeat, which had been racing so fast, was gradually slowing down. My university application procedure is now complete. The several options that existed a few months ago have now converged into one, and I am one step closer to the future.

In the dim light, I closed my eyes. I felt at ease for the first time in a long time, free of the tension and strain that had been building for months. I could hear the fan heater in the room making a faint sound.