Survive As The Brute's Wife

"About that myth?" Felixa played with her fingers.

"That myth says that the maiden created the monsters, apparently," Felixa put on her innocent face to observe Maximus' reaction.

Actually, Flavia said that the feelings of the three people corrupted the land, and from the darkness of their strong negative feelings came the monsters.

Since she doubted that Max is somewhat connected to her past, or knows who she was in the past, she tried to find out his thoughts. 

Maximus said nothing and bowed his head. He started fiddling with his fingers and sank into deep thoughts. He didn't agree or refuse her words. Felixa closed her eyes and took in a deep breath.

[Was I the one who created the monsters? Should I ask him directly?]

"She was stupid to not see the love the tree had for her and in the end died with resentment because she trusted the wrong person," Felixa added and she saw him reacting a little.

Maximus raised his hand and placed it on her thigh. Through the fabric, felixa felt his ice-cold hands and she shuddered.

"She's not of blame," he said and Felixa swore she saw his eyes glow red.

"It was his… it was that tree's fault…" his voice became a soft whisper. "He should have…"

Felixa observed his restless eyes that blinked fast and his lips pressed to a line. She figured that he won't talk about it further.

"The Dagwood tree is used to be called that way because its wood was used to make the hilts of daggers.  But that name changed over time and people commonly called it the "dogwood tree" or the "hound's tree"…" Maximus looked at Felixa and Felixa met his eyes.

[Hound's tree? Isn't that the tree that is said to be at Mount Begida? And that tree only blooms white flowers. Isn't the Hashomer is said to be at that island? And doesn't he want the Hashomer?]

"The lone tree at Mount Begida is the hound's tree, right? Is this where this myth came from? But where did the maiden come from in the story of two traitor knights?" She probed. "Am I wrong? Ah, I heard this myth originated from the Great King?"

Maximus wallowed in his silence for a good while making Felixa wonder if he heard him or not.

"There might be more monsters coming at you," Maximus stood up not willing to continue that topic, and walked away from Felixa towards the bed.

Felixa closed her mouth as she sensed him speaking with gritted teeth. The nerves on his arms were pronounced as he fisted his hands and his back looked stiff. She could see that he is angry.

He got mad earlier in the day when she said the word "traitor". She wondered why that word might hurt him.

"But fear not, for I will be with you," he turned and a gentle smile crawled on his face and his demeanor relaxed as she smiled.

"I would not want you to abandon your noble duties as the Emperor of an Empire to take care of me. You've already asked Julius to look after me and I cannot be greedy," she said.

She was a little disappointed by his attitude. He never speaks openly with her. He is the one with the highest power and the one with more knowledge about everything. He knows about every step she takes but she knows nothing about anything.

There is no need for him to hide things from her. And she didn't understand how he would be affected if he spoke the truth.

[Or is he not hiding anything from me? Am I overthinking?]

Maximus let out a sigh.

Every time she says the word "traitor" he remembers that incident that ruined their lives. She was not a traitor.

And he knows that she is not pleased that he is asking his knights to follow her around. She might think of it as binding, but it is for her safety. She killed that maid and ended up suffering from pain in her heart. She cannot be allowed to suffer like that.

Once she awakens fully and realizes her true potential, there would be no need for watching over her. She single-handedly has the power to save the realm or destroy it. It would be her choice afterward.

Until then, he will protect her.

It is his wish to protect her. It is all he knows.

"You are my wife, Felixa. I have a duty as your husband to protect you," Maximus walked towards her and kneeled in front of her.

"Is that it? Because I am your wife?" Felixa asked. "And if protecting is the husband's duty, what is my duty as your wife?" she asked.

"Your duty?" Maximus massaged his neck and looked up at the ceiling.

"Be happy and healthy. That is all I want from you," he said after thinking for a while.

Felixa let out a chuckle that held no mirth.

"Be happy?" she raised her eyebrows. "I can do anything that makes me happy?"

"Of course," Maximus placed his palm over her palm and looked at her with a smile.

"What will you do if I say that leaving you would make me happy? Will you let me lea-"

"Let's go to bed, Felixa," Maximus interjected her and stood up letting go of her hand. His voice turned deep and a furrow line formed in between his eyebrows.

Felixa pressed her back to the sofa and her stomach churned out of fear.

[That was dumb of me to blatantly state that I want to leave him… What will he do next?]

Maximus didn't look at her after that and went to bed leaving a lot of space for her. The bed is big and usually, they would lie in the middle where they can share each other's warmth.

But that night he showed his back to her and slept at the far edge of the bed leaving a lot of space between her and him. He didn't even cover himself with the blanket and so she covered him out of pity. She thought he'd open his eyes when he stood closer to her but he didn't.

Disappointed, she lied on the bed. And he stayed where he was the whole time.

Felixa did not appreciate the distance at all.

With a pout, Felixa watched the broad back of Max. His shoulder and his bulgy arms were rising and falling as he breathed. His breathing was even as if he is sleeping and Felixa failed to try to sleep.

"Max…" she whispered hoping that he is awake. But her voice drowned in the silence and there was no movement from Max.

A single candle fluttered in the room and lying on her back, Felixa stared at the ceiling. The window was open bringing in a gentle breeze. In the candlelight, the shadow of the flowing curtain painted beautiful ink drawings on the ceiling.

To forget about Maximus, she tried to think about everything that happened that day, but she couldn't shrug off Maximus' face from appearing. Whether she closed her eyes or opened them, Maximus' face came in front of her making her heart flutter.

[Was he just angry..? Or was he hurt too..?]

Felixa started to think. She felt that no matter what, when a wife says that leaving her husband would make her happy, no husband would be able to accept it.

[It's not like I am leaving, right? And what security do I have? Why is he angry? It's not like I can up and leave one day when I decide to, right? Isn't he watching my every move? And he gets angry for this? He didn't even kiss me goodnight! He is not mad at me! I am mad at him! Hmpf!]

Felixa curled her lips and turned to her side to face the window. She decided not to think about him. He can stay angry all he wants and she is not going to care.

Time trickled and Felixa couldn't fall asleep no matter how much she tried. Her eyes stang when she closed them and they watered for no reason. She could understand that she is feeling sleepy, but she couldn't sleep.

[How can he sleep like this..? Should I ask him? No… I am not going to care for what he thinks…]

As she was struggling to fall asleep, she felt the bed sinking behind her back and her heart started to flutter.

[He's awake and he is going to talk to me…]

Felixa closed her eyes and all her senses were awakened to observe every single change in her surrounding. She heard the ruffling of the blanket and expected his warm breath to fall on her cheek.

But nothing happened no matter how long she waited.

She looked over her shoulder to see Maximus lying on his back with his eyes closed and his abdomen and chest rose and fell rhythmically. He even snored a little.

Felixa pouted and turned back as a lump formed in her throat. But she couldn't stay like that for long and wiping the tear at the corner of her eyes that came out of nowhere, she lied on her other side, facing Maximus.

He was sleeping peacefully and without knowing, she scooted closer to him little by little. His thin lips glistened in the candlelight and without her permission, her fingers reached for his lips.

[So delicious… I want to suck on it…]