SG! 36: STARS I CAN SEE, PEACE I CAN HEAR

By the time I opened my eyes, the sun had already set.

The window to the carriage had been left open. Gentle golden light fell on the floor in a glowing square, the same shape as the window.
It was silent within the carriage and without, to the point that I’d rather be blasted with noise ’til my ears hurt. 1 Nothing moved — the moonlight filtering in from outside seemed to be all I could see.

I sat up, rubbing my eyes. The blanket I’d apparently covered myself with slid to the floor.

I slept well. So well I had no dreams.

So I had this illogical expectation I would have new dreams soon, but recently, I hadn’t had any at all.
It could be that I just didn’t remember them. Even if I was following along with [Chris’s] memories, dreams were just dreams, after all. And those would unravel and disappear in the daze that followed waking up.

I got off the shallow seat that had been doubling as my bed.
Looking around the interior of the carriage, I found Aira and Palmira sleeping on the floor and the opposite seat, respectively. They were fast asleep, so even if I got up, I wouldn’t be bothering either of them.
When we started traveling by carriage, it was tough on Aira, being unable to fall asleep no matter how she tried. She might’ve gotten used to it, though, because right now, she was sleeping peacefully on the floor. Her figure, wrapped up in a single blanket, somehow looked cold to me, so I draped my own over her.

Trying to muffle my footsteps as much as possible, I softly stepped over her and moved to the back of the carriage. Then, as slowly as I could manage, I opened the door.
Moonlight streamed in through the crack. At first, it was just a trickle. Then, as the door opened wider, it began to flood the interior of the carriage.
It fell on Palmira’s sleeping body lying on the seat. Before it could spread over her face, I slipped out through the gap.

Freezing… — .

When I got outside, the chilly air raised goosebumps on my skin, and I wrapped my arms around myself.
There wasn’t much longer to go before autumn came. Still, for the temperature to fall this much, we must have climbed quite high up.

In fact, when I looked around at my surroundings, I realized that I was now among those distant mountain peaks I’d seen before I fell asleep. We were on a road that must have taken great effort to carve into the rather steep slope here.
Looking up at the other end of the slope, I saw it rise into a very precipitous cliff. It was high enough that falling from there would no doubt be a death sentence. And yet the width of the road wasn’t what I’d call ‘wide’. It was maybe enough to fit two carriages. I couldn’t say whether it’d be a tight fit or just impossible.
Naturally, we’d come to the mountainside with all four, but a half-asleep passenger would take a tumble off the cliff within thirty steps of the carriage.

Of course, this wasn’t my first time taking this road. And yet every time I passed through, I thought:
What genius put a road in a place like this?
It was just that dangerous.

When I looked at the road before us and the way we came, I saw soldiers scattered about, wrapped up in blankets and huddled as closely as possible to the side of the mountain. I didn’t know what time it was right now, but judging from how little they were moving, it seemed to be very late at night.
But beyond the soldiers before and behind me, I could pick out the glow of what seemed to be bonfires. Probably for the night watch.
After a short debate over which of the fires to go to, I started to walk to the one behind to escape the chill.
To the back of the carriage, there was a small tent and a hitched horse. Probably Leon’s sleeping quarters.
Suddenly, I had a thought. Maybe… it’s just a possibility, but, couldn’t he be at the bonfire?

The sleeping soldiers were crowded tightly against the mountainside, so I had no choice but to gingerly pick my way along the side of the road closer to the cliff.
Under the over-bright illumination of the moonlight, I could see the road ahead with perfect clarity. But by that same token, when I looked in the direction of the cliff, I could see it falling away into pitch-black darkness.
It was so dark, I wouldn’t be surprised if the phrase ‘abyss of death’ was coined just to describe it.

But using all my strength to haul my gaze up and away, I could see the lushly forested mountains soaring over the other side of the cliff against a backdrop of stars.
Now that was a view.
A place that should never have been despoiled by humans.
Coupled with the stillness around me, it was a sight that seemed even divine.
I stared at it, mesmerized, before I slowly started to walk forward, nervously checking my footing over and over again.

Before long, I was close enough to hear the crackling and popping of the bonfire.
Red, unlike the moon and stars, the light danced back and forth, casting the long shadow of the night watchman on the ground.
It was just one guy. His back facing me, he didn’t so much as twitch. For the fifty-man Elite Guard, isn’t one sentry a little, I don’t know, low? I mean, this guy could be napping right now, right? I felt a touch of uneasiness, looking at the man’s back.
Of course, at the same time, I dismissed the idea. Even I had faith in the ability of the Elite Guard.

While I pondered how to address the lone watchman, I drew closer to the fire.
As I neared, some sort of pleasant fragrance permeated the air.

…Something’s weird.

Wrinkling my brow, I walked unsteadily forward as if hooked by the scent.
Come to think of it, I’d missed dinner. When I remembered, I suddenly noticed my hunger. What’s this smell? It’s sweet.

“Evening. I’ll be taking a seat next to you, if that’s alright.”

Still debating with myself, I eventually, and without the least bit of grace, stepped past the figure and plopped down next to him. I held my hands out toward the flames.
Now, let’s see what you’re eating. I look at the sentry.

“Yes, good evening.”

…What are you doing here?

Sitting there, calm as can be, was none other than the gloomy man from the strategy meeting for that slaver sting operation.
His name’s not coming to me. I feel like I heard Leon say it quite recently, but… right, it should be Regnum.
And Regnum, without looking at me at all, was holding a thin stick over the flames. There was some kind of white thing skewered on the other end.
That was the source of the sweet smell, but I didn’t have a clue what that white thing was.
At a glance, it looked like some kind of silken insect cocoon. And size-wise, it was just like a small bird egg.
Not gonna lie, once I thought of it as a cocoon, I didn’t much feel like eating it.
But with the gnawing in my stomach and the indescribably sweet scent it gave off, I couldn’t bring tear my eyes away.
While I stared, transfixed, the white thing burnt to a dark char, its surface bubbling and cracking.

“Ah.”

It’s burned. And at that very moment, Regnum took the burnt white thing and popped it into his mouth. In one mouthful. I thought it was pretty big, but his gloomy face, similarly large, was pulled and squeezed by the process of chewing. Once that was done, he swallowed it down in one gulp and sighed contentedly. And all of that without a single flicker of emotion.
I gulped as I watched. Even though he was expressionless, or maybe because of it, it seemed to be incredibly delicious.
Just what is that white thing? I was absurdly invested in the answer.

“Please, feel free.”

I might have been staring at it with greed in my eyes.
From where, I couldn’t care less, but Regnum took out another one and stuck it on a small branch, which he then handed to me.

“Ah, okay…”

His movements were so natural, I just casually accepted it.
I was exceedingly curious, so I timidly touched the white thing on the end of the stick.

…Soft.

Or more precisely, squishy. And I still have no idea what it is. I’m looking at it, it’s right in front of my eyes, but I’m not even sure if I can eat it or not.

While I was examining it, the man took out a new twig and stuck another of the white things onto the end of it, then held the spit over the fire.
So that’s how it’s done. Copying him, I held mine over the fire too.
The two of us, roasting those white things in the crackling blaze.
Time passed, mysterious and wonderful. The white things emitted a sweet smell. I swallowed, salivating. It started to burn, bubbles popping on its surface, so I pulled it from the fire and gave it a good look-over.

…Its fragrance tickled my nose. But can I eat it?

When I looked to my side, Regnum was already eating up his second one. Seeing him, I steeled myself and put it in my mouth.

“Iff hawh–!”

As soon as I bit through the crisp exterior, something hot stuck onto the inside of my mouth.
Tearing up a little, I huffed desperately to cool off the stuff in my mouth. As I did, a sweetness I’d never tasted before spread over my tongue.

“Fwahh–”

Okay, even I thought I sounded stupid just now.
But it was just that sweet and delicious. I chewed before swallowing it down.
I sighed. A light feeling of satisfaction, followed by regret that I’d gulped it down so quickly.

“Wh–What is this?”

“A kind of sweet known as a marshmallow. It tastes great roasted. Though even I don’t know how it’s made.”

As he spoke, he stuck another one on the end of the small stick I held.
Mystified by this somehow casually nice man, I thanked him and held my stick over the fire again.
Beside me, with a rustling sound, Regnum pulled out a plain, slightly dirty cup — also from god-knows-where — and handed it to me. It was filled with some kind of steaming blackish liquid.

“Be careful, it’s hot.”

Watching my marshmallow out of the corner of my eye, I took a sip.

…Sweet. This was sweet too.
Still, I recognized this slightly bitter drink.
Chocolate. My face unconsciously relaxed as I felt its warmth. Because of the cold, the sensation of the liquid gradually spreading through my body gave me an indescribable feeling of happiness. I let out a great sigh.

“Haah–…”

A river of stars glittering in the clear sky overhead.
The incredible bliss of drinking something warm and sweet below. It was an irresistible happiness. Even the words themselves seemed stale in comparison.

The stars in my sight, the peace I can hear, the sweetness on my tongue, the sense of indulgence in my heart grew by a thousand-fold.

…I’d been lulled into relaxing, but honestly, what this guy was doing here in the first place, how he ended up on watch, and why he had these kinds of sweets on him — those were all quite a mystery.

It did make me wonder, but overwhelmed by a sense of contentment, I couldn’t bring myself to care all that much.

Though once I calmed down, I still wanted to know. Besides, from what Leon said yesterday, this guy should be out investigating all sorts of things. Should being the operative word here.

“Hey, what’re you doing here anyway?”

I looked to my side to see Regnum tilting a similar steaming cup.
Looking more closely, I found a rather grimy kettle sitting next to the bonfire. Ahh, so that’s what he used to heat it up…?

“Well, it was cold.”

Gazing at the fire, he answered me absentmindedly.
No, that’s not what I meant.
But somehow I expected that answer out of him. So I changed tacks.

“Hmm, then, what are you doing here on night watch? Leon didn’t ask you to do anything later?”

“As for the night watch, anyone will do. In this company, at least. I’m a nocturnal creature myself, so when I dropped by, I was asked to take the sentry’s post. In exchange, I’m allowed to sleep during the day. Later, certainly, I will receive my orders from Lord Leon, but as the reason for my presence is a separate matter, I will forego the details. Oh, and I love sweets.”

He just said all of that in one breath!
And his gaze, which had been dreamily watching the flames until now, turned to me.
And yet, I felt like he sidestepped the important parts.
Plus, out of everything he just said, the only part that stuck with me was that little tidbit about his sweet tooth. It didn’t really matter, but its impact was subject to discussion.2 And I wasn’t even asking about it, to boot.

“Um, what does he want you to do?”

“That’s a secret. To hear about it in detail, I recommend asking directly.”

Although I’d worked my hardest to dig up what I wanted to know, I was ignored so easily.
In summary: If you want to know, ask the man himself.

I felt a bit huffy, being refused so bluntly, but it made sense: Regnum was an officer of the intelligence service. Generally speaking, he’d never let that kind of information slip. Even though the contents of that request had to do with me.

From that perspective, asking directly might still be the best option.
And speaking of which, I think I get the gist of it already.

“Leaving that aside, there is something I want to give you.”

“–!”

I unconsciously accepted it from Regnum’s outstretched hand.

— An invocation stone.

Never thought I’d see one of those again, not here. Surprised, I nearly dropped it.
I managed to keep my composure, but even so, I didn’t grip it too tightly. It half-slid off my palm before I brought it back to my chest.

It was about the size of a chicken egg. Quite a bit bigger than the one Irene had.
That just made me even more uneasy.

I mean, sure, these things have saved me before. But that’s not all they did. Every time, the invocation stones are proof that I’m something that defies human logic. Or rather, my body is.

I know if I don’t say the magic word, I’ll be alright. But even now, I can’t help but feel repulsed by the invocation stone before me, like it would be absorbed into my palm.

If I could simply dismiss it as just magic, maybe I’d feel more at ease.
But at least what I can say is, the magic that Irene and Guibenague used is very different in form from what I have.
I don’t think it’s just a difference in type, either. My intuition is telling me that there’s a crucial difference between them.

“Hey, what are invocation stones… Uh–”

If I asked like that, Regnum would give me the same answer as Arc. [Magic activators].
That wasn’t what I wanted to ask. I was after something more fundamental. Just what in the world sank into my body and became a part of me?

How would I get him to tell me that?

I wracked my brains, but I came up empty. Casually, I looked over at Regnum. Staring at me without moving, he said,

“In a manner of speaking, [life].”