Sweet CEO's First Love

So before when I was under a different company they had asked me to set a different birthday for my own safety and to also make me seem younger and more relatable.

But now that I am not under them anymore I can say. It is my birthday today. So I am so happy to update on my birthday and spend this time together with you guys. I hope you guys love the chapter which is the conclusion to Num and that you can maybe drop a rating on the chapter and even a comment. *I love comments!*

Seeing this story get to number one on the LGBTQ page would make my day... just saying. XD

~Kat

Kit reached over the couch from behind it where he stood behind it and pat Heart gently on the head. Heart sighed, leaning into it.

"We just really want you to know, and it's important for you to hear. For you not to get upset and think 'god I failed I wasn't there for them. I am horrible'."

"You absolutely need to know. That everyone here knows you did your best for Num," Ten said gently. "She had a happy life with you. Now she's crossed over the beautiful rainbow bridge and is watching over you as your little guardian meower."

"Yes, and I know she wouldn't want you to be this sad, she came to you to make you happy while she was in your life. Not to break your soul when she leaves." Kit interjected.

"Every person and animal is brought into our lives for a reason. We may not know it at first, but sometimes the reason is so far beyond us we would never see it anyway."

"Believing that what has happened and what is yet to come is the best thing that could have happened for your future is always very hard to do. But that really can be the case."

Heart knew that logically what they were saying was correct. He was exhausted and grief-stricken, and all he wanted to do was sleep for a thousand years and forget that Num had left him. "I don't think I can cry anymore," he said quietly. 

"I think I want to plop into a bed and stay there for a while, maybe see how long it takes me to become one with my surroundings. Maybe sleep, or maybe do nothing at all."

Heart watched Kit and Ten whisper amongst themselves above him. Very much like two parents having a conversation over their little one's head, and he wondered if there was a future for him that could ever look that happy, that strong, and beautifully content with Saint. Kit nodded then walked away as if whatever they had been discussing he had lost the bet and now had to go do that thing instead.

Ten sighed but stood up very slowly, and Heart watched him.

"Are your muscles sore from dancing again?" Heart asked concerned for Ten, and he realized he was doing it again. His habit of trying to take on too much at once, to lessen the stress others he cared about were feeling. 

"It's not as bad as it looks. I tried to copy a trick turn that Nine was doing, just for fun, but it turns out all I accomplished was stupidity and making my body go ow ow ow ow." Ten smiled softly and Heart found himself grinning back, just because of the sheer amount of sincerity and warmth that was in that sweet and innocent smile. 

Kit walked back over with a blanket hanging down over his arm and he held it out. "what are you doing with that?" Heart asked.

"We are making a little Heart Burrito then sending it off to bed." Ten said and the two of them grabbed him and wrapped him up in the light powder blue fluffy blanket that said Ten on it in fancy silver script writing.

Heart fell into the warmth and comfort like a soft constant hug, and the blanket smelt like freshly cleaned laundry and cinnamon. Their loving hands shoved him gently towards the room they had mentioned before, the four hands strong enough to leave zero attempts at putting up a fight at all over it.

"We stuck a pair of Ten's pajamas in there too as it looked like you would fit them."

"Ten's pajamas?" Heart sniffled.

"Are you insinuating I am as short as Ten?" Heart asked.

"No not at all Heart. I would never insinuate anything. I was flat out telling you to go get into the pajamas you will surely fit into, you small little child that is much shorter than me," Kit teased with a straight face, he shoved his circular glasses up his nose with a bemused smirk.

Heart grumbled, his face scrunching up sullenly. "Always the same thing with you Nitpattanasai's, never giving me any break at all." 

Ten sucked in a breath of annoyance. "You dang Nitpattanasai boys and your ability to never be able to read a room unless it's in business."

"I can read a room, I make my living off of reading rooms." Kit defended himself flatly.

"I was just hoping that using my own dry humor to be something like Saint's humor would help him feel a bit better." Kit said.

"Yeah, dumb idea. How about you let me do all the front seat driving when it comes to expressing your ideas." Ten pat Kit's left breast pocket neatly and Kit sighed but nodded.

"Makes sense." Kit agreed.

"I should always leave the talking up to you. I am a mediator, and a smooth talker,"

"Yeah, you are someone who is supposed to be inherently good at this." Ten agreed, not giving Kit any excuses.

Kit pouted. "But it's harder to be able to smooth things over when it's someone you care about." He said slightly defensive.

"Sorry Heart I was just trying to see if I could help improve your day even a little by making you have a slight happy moment, I wanted to see you smile again. It hurts to not see you smile around me. I am used to seeing it, and I guess I grew so accustomed to that constant joy. I was trying to help you feel like yourself again, without meaning to unnaturally trap you in a corner over it. I hope you can forgive me and understand I wasn't trying to upset you. Do take however long you need to freshen up in the bathroom or go to sleep in the room."

"I know." Heart said. 

"It's okay. I understand you guys just want me to feel better. I understand. You guys have been really helpful through all of this. I guess I just feel... I feel..."

Heart stared off into space, losing his grip on the now and instead, floating back to the pajamas. His mind wandering away from the world slightly oblivious to the room and its goings-on around him.

"You know who liked pajamas, Num. Num loved to sleep on them whether they were hers or not."

Ten stood up with a sigh. "Come on you are exhausted. I think the grief is making you break down into sleep." 

"Come here." Ten said, moving to stand in front of Heart and holding out a hand. Led him down the short hallway to the bedroom really slowly like a parent pulling a distracted child on a leash. Ten pushed the door open with his back, never once turning away from Heart, making sure to give him all his focus.

Ten stopped in the middle of the room, with its pastel blue walls and white trim, and a big creamy white bed that was filled with so many fluffy pillows, and a giant thick fluff of a blanket that it reminded Heart of a cloud. Beside it were two floating white shelves. One with a plant on it the other a little lamp and a single book. Kit walked over and put the glass of water Heart had been drinking down before. The pair of light pink satin pajamas sat at the end of the bed as promised, and the shirt had a tiny little balloon patch embroidered on the front, a small little cat hanging from it. They both left him seeing that he was absorbed in the room.

Heart bent forward and pet the pajamas, they were soft. The perfect kinda soft, Num would have loved to curl into.

'How long will this ache inside me last before...' Heart thought of what they had said. That someday the missing hole would ache less, you would still know it was there, but life would move on, and daily life would take over.

'How long until I learn to enjoy my days again?'

There was a knock on the door; when Heart opened it, Ten sheepishly hurried into the room, leaving the tissue box on his bedside table. "Just call us if you need anything, okay?" he said kindly, which made Heart compulsively hug him in gratitude.

Sliding under the sheets, Heart stared at the strange ceiling and thought about how he would have handled Num's loss six months ago when he would have been alone. He didn't think he would have even had the strength for his legs to carry him out of Dr. Park's office, let alone to be able to sit here and properly grieve for Num. 

She would have been all he had, aside from High and Tone and Min and Tee. 'Would he have survived?' He imagined a table suddenly losing one of its legs, quickly collapsing in on itself. 'It was unlikely he would have been able to last not without the temporary support of someone to help hold him up until he could repair himself.

Most of all, he thought about Saint, locked away in the office to pour over his work, his heaping pile of work he always had. All while worried out of his mind for Heart. Of pregnant Min, who was at home probably sobbing into Tee's shoulder, an emotional wreck of convalescing emotions that couldn't make up their mind on what she should focus and be upset about more. Because there was a human growing inside her, and making her feel ten times worse. And he had just abandoned her there.

'I will have to go see them both tomorrow. I need to let them know I am alright, and I need to make sure Min is okay.'

That was when Heart suddenly remembered his phone. Reaching around for it, he found it on the bedside table where Kit or Ten had plugged it into a wall charger for him. Swiping the screen open, Heart smiled through his tears when he spotted Saint's several concerned messages, along with Min's and Tee's. 

Below theirs was a cascade of heartwarming messages from all of his friends. Not just one or two of them, but all of them even the ones who never knew what to say in any situation, like Ring. Right at the bottom, the first one a sweet message, one he smiled when he saw how sweet and kind Ring had been. 

'Most people didn't know the true softie Ring was because he hid it behind the wall of abandonment and shame he felt daily.'

When your heart cannot tell what to feel because it is overwhelmed, remember the first thing you feel the greatest; That is the emotion you need to embrace. If you do not embrace the emotions you feel strongly, good or bad, you can never move on.

The flood of messages left by every person he loved lay in a row for him to see. His eyes filled with tears again.

A loud hiccup and sob escaped from his mouth and he put up his hand to block it.

Heart wasn't alone anymore, he hadn't realized just how much had changed in this one year. But he wasn't alone anymore and realized he hadn't been alone for a very long time.

Num would be happy for him, he knew she would. 

Heart flopped on the bed still covered by the blanket from the couch, the pajamas sat beside him on the bed untouched and he wiggled until he was headfirst on the pillows. He lifted up his arms and set to reading and replying to Min, Tee's, and Saint's messages first before his eyes grew tired.

His eyes dropped and his brain flopped between staying awake, reading and answering all the messages or letting thoughts of Num overwhelm him again. 

Hear's body decided for him and he slipped into a troubled sleep filled with memories of Num, somewhere safe and dry, her calico tail swishing about in contentment. A young girl, carefree like that time thirteen years ago when he had first met her. A beautiful young calico lady, with all the sass in the world who had once followed a lonely young boy home. 

And he wept inside his dreams from joy at seeing her happy once again.