Tales From the Terran Republic

T’sunk’al shifted nervously, hopping from one foot to the other. The human next to him smiled as she leaned against the hull of the Z’uush vessel.

“Relax, big T. You are going to pop out one of your eyes.” Sheila chuckled as she took a deep drag on her vaporizer and exhaled, blowing vapor rings.

“A state of relaxation is impossible,” T’sunk’al said miserably. “I am unused to criminal endeavor. We aren’t equipped for crime, unlike you humans.”

“And yet here you are.”

T’sunk’al looked around nervously and checked his sensors.

Sheila laughed at him.

“Jeezus, T.," she smirked, "We are on a rock in the middle of nowhere. There isn’t anyone or anything in the whole system.”

“Maybe we were followed.”

Sheila rolled her eyes.

“We weren’t followed. I checked. It’s an empty goddamn system. It’s not like we could miss them.”

“They could be cloaked.”

“T, if a cloaked Federation warship were tailing us, they would have gotten us by now.”

“They could be waiting for the seller.”

“Yep. They could very well be. We are committing a crime, after all. Fun, isn’t it?”

T’sunk’al started gulping air anxiously.

“Oh, by the creators, this was a bad idea.”

“Too late to worry about that now." Sheila chuckled. "Besides, isn’t a just cause like yours worth a little risk? If you can’t handle this, how the hell can you expect to handle the merchandise once you get it?”

The sensor started flashing, and T’sunk’al almost fainted. Sheila pulled out a communicator.

“Black Dragon, that you?”

“Yep. How’s it going, Sheila?”

“Pretty good. The Z'uush is about to shit himself again, but other than that, we're golden.”

“Great. We are sending a drop-ship now.” Sheila turned to T’sunk’al.

“See? You worry too much.”

An angular black ship came into view, and T’sunk’al started in alarm.

“That’s a Raven!” Sheila laughed at him.

“Yep. Good call. That is indeed a Raven class assault lander. We use a lot of stuff from the great war. We built so many warships that we haven’t really had to build new civilian ones. You will see battleships being used as tankers if you get closer to Sol.”

“So you just disarmed your warships?”

“Disarmed… You are just adorable, you know that?”

The Raven landed with the silence for which they were known. The hatch opened, and the biggest human T’sunk’al had ever seen stepped out. Sheila trotted up, and the two humans performed some sort of body squeezing that looked affectionate. The big human looked over at T’sunk’al.

“That the buyer?”

“Yep. This is T. T, this is Johnny.”

“It is an honor to meet you, Mister Johnny.”

“You got the money?”

T’sunk’al was startled by the abruptness, but he reminded himself that he was dealing with humans and with the criminal element at that. He nodded and produced a small data crystal. Johnny took the crystal, scanned it, and whistled.

“It is an honor to meet you too,” he replied and then headed towards the open hatch of the lander beckoning for them to follow.

“I have a wide selection of goods, and I think you will be quite pleased,” he said with a smile.

Johnny opened a crate. Inside were rows of automatic rifles. He picked one up and tossed it towards T’sunk’al.

T’sunk’al grabbed at it, almost letting it fall to the deck.

“What you have there is the Terran classic, the AK-47. These have been in use for over a thousand years, and there is a reason. Your physiology is close enough to ours that you should be able to use them with no modification. Thirty-round magazine, reliable, completely chemically powered and will tear right through a personal deflector. They won’t show up on sensors, at least at first. We also have armor-piercing rounds specially designed for standard combat armor. Right through the screen, then right through the vest.”

“Holy shit! Are these relics?” Sheila asked as she caressed one fondly.

“You think I would be selling relics to a non-human? These are old stock from early Independence War production runs on Terra. That is why they have the wooden stocks. We were running low on polymers there for a couple of years.”

“Can I have one?” Johnny tossed her an AK, and she squealed in delight. Johnny grinned over at a stunned T’sunk’al and opened another crate.

“These are Model 1911 .45 ACP semi-automatic pistols. The high mass and low-velocity rounds will cut right through deflector belts. The recoil might be a little heavy for a Z’uush, but you should be able to handle them with practice."

Johnny opened case after case of human weaponry showing off shotguns, rockets, and grenades.

“All of these goodies are completely chemically powered as requested, and all of them are proven effective against Federation, Imperial, and Collective forces,” Johnny said proudly.

T’sunk’al gulped anxiously as he looked at the list that his leader gave him. He started hiccuping.

“And… and about the….” The hiccups got worse, cutting off his ability to speak. Sheila and Johnny grinned impishly.

“Oh, yes…” He went to the back and rolled out a trolley with six long black polymer cases with bright yellow markings. He opened one.

“Here they are," he proudly announced, "Type-seven tactical nuclear weapons. They are fission-fusion hybrid explosives. I am sure you are familiar with these babies from the war.”

More speechless hiccups.

“These are just the warheads, mind you," Johnny continued, "You will have to find a way to get them where you want them to go boom.”

Sheila sighed nostalgically as she ran her fingers along one of the cases. She looked up at T’sunk’al with misty eyes. “Oh, you will like these.” T’sunk’al was about to pass out.

The transaction went smoothly, and several more Ravens landed loaded with arms. Sheila inventoried the goods and checked off the shipments. That was actually T’sunk’al’s responsibility, but he needed a little break and was sitting on a crate of AK-47’s breathing heavily into a respirator.

“Ok, T. You are all set. Everything is bought and paid for. Schematics, tutorials, and the like are on this.” She said as she handed him a data crystal. “Hey, Johnny, can I hitch a ride with you?”

“Sure thing. Hop on,” Johnny replied.

T’sunk’al was confused.

“You aren’t continuing to travel with me?” he asked.

“On a ship full of illegal arms including NUCLEAR WEAPONS that is heading through Federation space? Are you out of your fucking mind? Later, tater.”

Sheila waved as the Raven’s hatch closed, leaving a desperately gasping and hiccuping T’sunk’al holding his head in despair.

“I hate humans.” He mumbled between hiccups.