ELRETH

She blinked at him and had to stifle the urge to stamp her foot. Which only proved his point. Which only made her angrier. She considered and discarded several responses to that, which only made it worse when he nodded slowly and said, "Well done. Now, tell me what happened."

She pursed her lips and looked away, but in the end, she decided, he probably was the best person to explain. Elreth hated feeling confused. Hated not knowing.

Was finally understanding this worth the embarrassment, though?

Well, it wasn't like her father had never embarrassed himself. Maybe one day they'd laugh about this.

She cleared her throat. "When I confronted him about not taking the Cohort role he admitted that the reason he didn't want it was because it would stop us from taking each other as Mates," she mumbled.

"I figured as much."

"Well, to me that was… a shock," she said. "I didn't understand at first because what he said was, "I want more from you," and I thought he meant a different job. So, it took me a minute."

"It's not funny, Dad."

"No, you're right. It's not. But I do wish I'd seen his face when—nevermind," he cut himself off when she glared at him. "Go on."

"He um… kissed me. And I liked it."

"Good! That's a good thing, Elreth. So, why do you look sad?"

She folded her arms across her chest, feeling very vulnerable. She lowered her voice, though she doubted anyone could hear them. "It was nice. Really nice. For a little while. It was… I thought we would… I mean…"

"Yes?"

She rolled her eyes and swallowed. "I was enthusiastic," she said.

Reth nodded, but shifted his weight like he was stifling something. "Good."

"Well, not good apparently. Because when I asked him if it was like this for everyone—I was just curious! I didn't mean anything by it!—he got all weird. He pulled away. So I kissed him again and then he relaxed, so I thought, yay. And then… and then… I made the signals. And he stopped me."

"Stopped you, what?"

"Seriously, Dad?"

"Seriously, Elreth. I want to understand where his head was at when this happened. How far had things gone? You don't have to get specific, I just mean… was it more than kissing?"

She dropped her face in her hands. "I had unbuttoned his shirt. And I was going for his pants when he stopped me," she groaned into her hands.

"I'm assuming he was… enthusiastic about this as well."

She snorted. "Yes."

"And you asked him if it was the same for everyone and that's when he stopped you?"

"No. I mean, he stopped then, but we got back into it. There was some… back and forth, a bit, with the kissing. Then he stopped and asked me why I wanted to do it."

"And what did you say?"

"I told him I liked it. It felt good."

Reth grunted. "And he… didn't like that answer? Because it wasn't about him?"

"Dad, I told him I'd never felt that way before. That no one else had ever made me feel that way before. How much more about him could I get? I even did that flirty thing Mom does with you where I kissed him and—anyway, the point is, he didn't like my answer. So he stopped."

"Did he say anything about why? About what you'd said?"

She winced. "I, um, got angry with him for stopping when he was the one who started it. I was confused about why he stopped. I said I wanted him. And he said he wanted me… forever. And I… didn't answer right away..." She swallowed.

Her father stared at her. "Right away? Or at all?"

"I didn't have a chance. He left."

Her father made a low growl in his throat, but when he spoke he said, "And you're confused about why he said no to you?"

Elreth groaned. "Well, not now when I say it to you and I hear it out loud. But at the time, yes! I was shocked. It was a lot. I didn't think it was bad, I just… I was shocked!"

Her father sighed a heavy sigh and pushed his hands in to his pockets. "El, you know I love you, right?"

"Yes. But?"

He snorted. "But you and I have something very important in common, and it isn't a good thing."

She waited.

Reth's lips thinned. "Like me, you have been blessed with an optimistic mind, and sometimes that leaves us in places where we are… oblivious to things others see easily. We don't always see how our actions and choices affect others because we just assume it's all going to be fine. If I'm good, you must be good. And that's not always true."

"And this is about mating, how?"

"Because Aaryn has loved you for years, Elreth, and everyone seems to know that but you."

"I don't know, Dad. I think if he really loved me he would have… taken the opportunity tonight. I think… maybe it was just about wanting something he couldn't have?"

"No."

She buried her face in her hands. "How can you be so sure?"

"It's…obvious, in the way he looks at you, the way he's kept himself free of other entanglements. The way he protects you and defends you to others… the way he smells when you walk into the room."

"He always smells like that!"

"That's precisely my point. You don't understand how his scent shifts when you aren't there. Because… you aren't there."

They stared at each other and Elreth asked herself if it could be true. Was there an element to Aaryn's scent that she'd only ever known because he loved her. Really loved her?

Was that possible?

*****

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