Teihen Ryoushu

The Misunderstood Heroic Tales Epilogue2

Epilogue 2 – Let’s Curry Rize-kun’s Favor!!!

「---ah, Rize-sama, we’ve been waiting for you!」

「Hello Alicia, you’re looking good today!」

When I entered the pure gold throne room, which is decorated with treasures from all over the planet, Alicia, who has become pope and queen, comes and hugs me tight. Yeah, soft.

At first, I thought she was the type of beautiful girl who prioritizes religious activities so much that she’ll destroy her family but now that I’m the “god of the world”, I have no problem with that at all! I wish this solution could be put into practice in every family in the world that is suffering from religious troubles.

「By the way, Alicia, what’s the important thing you want to talk about? The number of children you plan to have?」

「Seven billion please!....No, that’s not it. Please have a look here for a moment.」

Alicia then held out an old book to me.

….it is an old “Sofia Religion” bible that I had in my house for a long time. It’s so nostalgic. So, what’s wrong with this thing?

「….actually, I found it when I was exploring your parent’s house looking for Rize-sama’s pants from when you were a child and it seems that the content of this…..is a little different from the regular bible.」

「Is that so?....well, it’s from a long time ago and besides, the Beibalon territory was poor. I think my ancestors must have bought a cheap copy of a defective manuscript that they had failed to copy.」

「Well, that’s what I thought at first too. However, there’s a description that bothers me…..」

With an unusually difficult look on her face, Alicia opened a page and handed it to me.

I read it and found it to be a section that describes the history and legend of “Goddess Sofia”. I twisted my head and wondered what this page was about but Alicia told me.

「In the bible, Goddess Sofia created the planet and gave magical powers to the chosen royals to rule the people. Little is written about her later activities. The bible, however, describes Goddess Sofia in detail from the point of view of the people. “She was always searching for the strong.” “She had a very pretty face with an occasional maidenly expression as if she was thinking of a distant lover.” “I heard that she could reduce her body size to that of a human but her tits were still big even though she has become smaller.” “She got angry when I called her “mama” because she’s the god of creation who created the planet and mankind.” “Whenever a rebel appeared, she would bring out a stone statue of a cow and throw it at them. When I asked her why she did that, she looked at me in wonder “I don’t remember why but I think it’s the strongest way to attack” and the person herself looks so mysterious that it was cute---though I don’t think you should even write that in a bible….」

Oh, that was written! I’d forgotten about it since I’d read it on my dad’s lap when I was little but come to think of it, maybe it was the goddess that made me start throwing cows. If the goddess says it’s the strongest, it must be the strongest. And besides, you can eat them cows.

In fact, I’ve succeeded in defeating Yaldabaoth by feeding him to a blackhole cow…..I wonder what happened to that guy after that. The only thing that matters is the time and space distortions that have sent him to the long past.

Well, leaving aside that unintelligible old man who became a beautiful woman with big tits while undergoing nuclear fusion and was swallowed by a black hole while wearing the goddess’ costume, I decided to urge Alicia to go on.

「So, what’s wrong with Goddess Sofia-sama? 」

「Yeah….actually, at the end of the page, there were words that the Goddess Sofia herself said before she left at the end of her life. She said, “I remember everything! I’m the one who rules the world! I’ll be waiting for you 30000 years in the future!” and then vanished into the dimension. So….well, I hope this bible is just a book of nonsense but since it is said that we are exactly 30000 years from creation, I got curious about it….. 」

「I see. 」

….we were in the middle of that conversation when suddenly, the sound of glass shattering echoed and a huge amount of white light shone through the glasses of the castle---!

What the heck is that!? I left Alicia in the care of the knights under her command and rushed out of the castle to find out what was going on….!

「Wha…..you are……….!」