Tensei Oujo wa Kyou mo Hata o Tatakioru

Oh, did you miss it?

I saw the reactions of the family and understood that, but they did not immediately relate to emotions.

It's as if the line connecting the mind and body was broken. Perhaps your instinct is telling you not to feel it to protect your fragile mind, unlike your body.

Tiana was so irreplaceable for me.

Aim for Tiana's bedroom by dragging her feet.

The body is dull. The limbs do not move well, and the field of vision is fuzzy, like a curtain. The sobbing of the maids also felt far away.

Pull the door knob and enter the room.

The sweet scent of Tiana and the smell of the medicine are soft.

Dazzling sunlight shines into the room through the curtains of the lace area. Rabbit and squirrel dolls lined up on the rim of the bay window on the east side emerged like shadows.

The number of dried flowers and potpourri made by the maids has increased again so that Tiana, who loves flowers, can enjoy it in winter.

On the table placed on the bedside, there are embroidered flowers and a book with a bookmark in between.

Continuous scenery of everyday life. There is no doubt that the ordinary day will begin.

However, there is only one missing piece in the familiar scenery.

Beloved wife lying quietly on a large bed with a canopy.

Only her soul was lost.

"Tiana"

Call and take a step forward.

"Tiana ... Tiny"

Even if you call many times, there is no response.

Stop trying to shake your thin shoulders. An honest body complained that touching was horrible.

"Tinny ..."

The hand that wanders in the air reaches the backrest of the chair placed beside the bed.

Pull back a little and lower your back. A delicate wooden chair squeaked like a protest.

Watch the faint light over the curtain coming through the window illuminating Tiny's profile. Pure white skin like fresh snow shines glitteringly under the light. Herself seemed to be faintly shining, coupled with the brilliant silver blond shine on the pillows.

The thinly opened lips were pale and pale, but otherwise as usual.

I was impressed as usual, but only seemed to be asleep.

I wonder why this is so.

I thought my long eyelashes would shake and woke up now. The violet eyes reflect on me and laugh at me. I dream of such a vision.

I don't know how much.

I didn't do anything, and I was sitting on my chair and watching Tiny, and I heard a modest voice.

"Husband"

Someone stands beside me who doesn't look back.

It's too hard to raise your face, and when you turn your gaze to it, there is a maid with a tinny. The fifty, full-fledged maid was always smiling with a smile at Nico Nico, and Tinny missed a lot. But she looks like a wilted flower today. The eyes are dyed red and the complexion is bad.

"I took this from my wife."

The maid takes out the white envelope and presents it to me.

"... from Tiny?"

After seeing the maid and the letter alternately, she asked her and nodded firmly.

When I receive, lower my head and leave the room.

A letter from Tinny to me?

When did you write?

... I don't want to think, but did she realize she was dead?

And did you leave a letter for a compassionate husband who could not live without himself?

Just imagining what kind of feeling you wrote, it makes you feel irresistible. How scared you were! How painful it was!

I stared at the letter left in my hand. I'm scared to open it. But I told myself not to run away.

When the claw sneaked into the gap of the white envelope, the seal opened easily.

Inside, there are two sheets of white folded stationery, overlapping each other. I took it out and stretched it out by hand to level the folds.

Here's how the letter was written in beautiful letters without habit.

"......" Beloved husband, Ernst ""

The muttered voice is converted into Tiny's voice in my head, not my shattered voice.

She woke up in bed and occasionally glanced out of the window and slid through the pen. The letter changes from greetings at the time of the year to those that care about my physical condition. It was written that it had been snowing for many days, so it must have been written about a month ago.

And my eyes, which followed the sentence, are nailed to a sentence.

'I'm not in this world anymore that you're reading this letter'

Oh, after all. Tiny knew of his death.

Along with resignation, great regret extends to me. I couldn't make Tinny happy. When I lived with my heart afraid of the impending death, I couldn't even notice.

Even if you do something wrong, you can't save her. I'm not even at the end, everything is a half-hearted fool, me.

Abusive to yourself floats like a mountain.

But Tiny in the letter did not blame me for a word. I just care for myself in the pipe.

Tiny, Tiny, my lovely Tiana.

I want you to blame me. Please don't forgive me who has tormented you.

With a feeling of praying, put your hand on the second sheet of stationery.

After breathing deeply, I read the first line, and my eyes were slightly surprised. I think it took me over a dozen seconds for my head to understand the unexpected content.

"Serious you must have read this far with a serious face"

Up to that point is good. However, the meaning of the continuation was not immediately understood.

"..." "But what do you look like if you actually wrote this letter and it was your 20th letter?"

Twenty-second?

Is this the last parting letter like the 20th one?

Tinny in the letter continues, as if she was confused.

"I was told by a doctor that I couldn't live until I was an adult, so I decided to write to you. The first letter I wrote while thinking that I might not be able to meet you was like an actor performing a tragedy, although I could say it myself. When I read it back, I was too shy to tear it down immediately and asked Marite to burn it with the fallen leaves. ''

Marite is the name of the maid who handed the letter to me.

Looking at the word fallen leaves, I wondered if I wrote it in the fall, and skipped thinking. I'm still confused. I couldn't keep up with the temperature difference from the first sheet.

"I think I could write the second one calmly, but I wrote a story about the blizzard, so I threw it away when it became warm. Should we avoid seasonal topics? I realized when I wrote the fifth copy. "

I laughed at myself as if I didn't notice it until the fifth.

Speaking of which, Tiny looked solid and had a surprising spot.

The baked confectionery that I made only once had the wrong sugar and salt, but I guess I ate it with a smile.

"But I dared to avoid the topic of the seasons. Instead of writing a perfect letter, my goal was to change how many would be thrown away." As always, don't do anything unexpected! ''

Although Tiny looks neat and pretty, and looks like a snow spirit that melts when touched, the contents are not just a deep window daughter who is just a calm.

Curious and hated. If he had been strong, he would have been a stupid woman who did not stay in one place.

“I think that my topic of having a closed house in my house will be exhausted easily. But it's not that easy. I have a lot of reliable collaborators. In winter, the gardener makes snow rabbits and decorates them outside the window, and in the spring, the maids arrange colorful flowers in vases. In the summer, the boy on the stables shows butterflies through the window, and in the fall, the chef cooks sweets with chestnuts. The topic is not exhausted. There are so many scenes that I want to show you too, so I'm in trouble. '

I think of Tiny with a soft smile that can catch the viewer.

The servants loved her, who always smiles. So Tinny seemed to have fun every day. Even if you're sick or can't get out of bed. Yes, I was laughing with a smile every day.

I wonder why I wrote in pain.

Did you want to bend back, twisting the facts?

The regret of betraying the country and trying to impose an unnatural life without confirming Tiny's will was clouding my eyes.

Tiny hasn't despaired. I was trying to live as hard as I could.

A sentence that states, "This letter will be destroyed when the wildflowers bloom."

"'From now on, let's do a love sentence to you, not a farewell letter, and keep it without breaking ..."

Read that far and your voice gets stuck.

The hand holding the letter trembles and sneezes and wrinkles as if unconsciously empowered.

"When I become a grandmother next to you, I will hand them all together."

At the moment I read the text, I heard a sore like a beast roar.

"Tinny ...! Tiana, Tiana ... !!"

Characters bleed as water drops and water drops.

Once I gripped the letter, I reached out to Tiny. She cried while holding her thin white hand with both hands.

Tiny did not give up on life.

Next to me, I was enjoying my life as much as possible and trying to live. Knowing that, I thought I was saved.

It was good that I could not make it.

It was really nice that I didn't have to endure the unending pain to my loved one who lived happily.

I pressed Tiny's forehead against her cold hand and I cried like a child.