THAT DAY I BECAME A STAR

Later in the same evening, a man and a guard come and deliver my new armor and raizen to our dorm.

"Here, sir. Sorry for the delay."

"Thank you. Tell Sophia that there is nothing to worry about."

"I will, sir."

I wonder how he felt when he saw the broken door of the dorm. He must have thought they are savages here, which…is not wrong. With gnoll number 1 and 3 here, especially. Though, it's when number 2 comes that things sometimes get really heated up.

"It's as light as I wanted." After putting the armor in my bracelet, I swing the raizen a few times. I don't feel uncomfortable with it at all. Its form is really good. The blade is shaped like double blades put together, with one end longer than the other.

Its blue color is run over by indigo signs written on the blade. I wonder what they mean. The handle is white. There are two strips of leather attached to it to indicate where I can grab it. The middle of the handle seems to be made of two parts. There are two rings sticking out a bit there.. the knob is blue as well, a very small knife that I could hold with just my finger. I pull on it and the lower half of the handle moves, coming out with a blue and indigo chain hidden inside the upper half of the handle.

"Yup, all is as I ordered." Frank did a very good job there. Though he modified what I wanted a bit concerning the chain's position.

"Did the master smith we saw do this?"

Lanuvel has moved over to me while I was contemplating my weapon. Not only her, almost everyone, except for Roxcia and Judy, has come near me. Those two are sitting on a couch, not talking, not smiling, just staring at me. I feel like I have a gift to make enemies.

"Yeah, he did. I told you I ordered two raizens, right?"

"Yeah. Can I touch it?" Lanuvel looks exactly like a little girl in front of a sweet store. Even though she has permission to enter, she hesitates. I turn the raizen around, pointing the blade at me, then show it to her.

"Of course." She delicately grabs it and looks at the blade with shining eyes.

"I want to see it as well!" After that, it becomes a festival. Starting from Esteressa, everyone took my raizen and tried it after looking so intensely at it their eyes almost became blue. By the time they all had finished, the night fell already.

"You really have a good weapon." Cordel is the last to take it. He just swings it once then gives it back to me.

"Yeah, I know. Thanks." I take it and store it in my bracelet. "I believe you are finished?"

"Yeah, thank you for showing your weapon to us."

"How much did it cost?" Esteressa asks the question while hiding behind Cordel. Why are you smiling like that?

"I don't really know. I bought everything together."

"You didn't even show us that armor. You cheapskate."

"Right... Anyway, I need to see somebody so later."

"Okay."

"I am coming with you." Farner walks to me and weird enough, is followed by Lanuvel.

"I am just going to see the headmaster."

"Even so, I am going with you."

"I just want to tell him about the door."

"AH, I already did that." Can't you shut up, Cordel?!

"I…we need to talk to you."

"Okay." I guess I can't escape that.

***

"And so, why did you tie me up?" As soon as we went out of the dorm, the girls tied me up and brought me to the forest near the entrance of the school, covered by the darkness of the night.

"Just in case."

"Just in case?…" Farner, you really believe those can restrain me? Let's behave for now. I want to see what they are planning.

"Yep. Now, first thing first, what were doing with that Velvet girl this morning?"

"Nothing."

"Nothing?"

"She fell after trying the machine and I helped her stand back up."

"And she ended up in your arms because?"

"She wanted to ask me something"

"Something that can't be asked normally, I guess?"

"Yes."

Farner and Lanuvel both look at each other then back at me

"You know, when we confessed to you," they both approach me and each place her hand on my cheeks, then Lanuvel is the one to speak, "we decided to love you even if the world would tell us not to. But, your actions so far make us think you don't realize or maybe not care about our feelings."

"No, like I said-" Farner places her finger on my mouth.

"Let us finish. As she is saying, we feel insecure with you. Because you don't act like somebody who truly loves us. So we will ask a question. Only this once. And depending on your answer, we will decide whether to continue or put an end to everything."

I never saw Farner so serious. Her cheeks are red, her face is flushed a bit and yet, she is so serious you cannot believe it is really her. Lanuvel is the same though it is less surprising coming from her.

"And what is that question?"

"Can we trust you?" They both speak at the same time. A unison of voice that sounds like a lullaby to my ears.

Trust. Trust... The only thing I decide not to give again. Even though I love Farner, even though I feel somehow attracted to Lanuvel, deep inside, I know that I don't trust them. Because every time I trusted people, I got deceived and wounded. I trusted my parents and they abandoned me, I trusted Tatiana and she tried to kill me, I trusted Demether and Mark and they tried to kill me, I trusted…I trusted Excafol and Selene, and they got killed because of me. So how? How can I trust people again?

"I…" I feel at ease being around you guys. You are a noisy bunch but even so, I like being here, being with everyone. But once I trust you, will the nightmare start again? Will you all betray me? Die? Abandon me? Moreover, there is the hate effect that Cissa talked about. Maybe it activates once I start trusting people. Then for sure, everything will be ruined. I will be all alone again.

"If you can't answer us, that's fine. We will also consider it an answer." They both stand up and turn around. Should I let them leave? If I don't say anything now, won't I lose everything? But if I trust them, won't it be all the same?

"I really hoped it wouldn't be like this." I notice something falling from Farner's eyes. She is…She is crying. Come on, Dragonroad!!! Are you really so afraid of your fate that you would let the only ones who truly love you go away just like that?!

"I wonder as well. Are you truly that weak and easily scared?"

"Leave me alone, Cissa. I will do it." I did say I wouldn't run away anymore. Now is the time to show it to them.

"Wait!" I tear off the rope that they bind me up with and stand up. They both turn around and the tears of Farner's eyes are flowing like a river.

"I…I can't say that I trust you. I am sorry. Every time I trusted people, I ended wounded and alone. That's why I am afraid. I am afraid that if I start trusting you as well, you will both just disappear and leave me, or even worse. But even so, I don't want to end this love. Those feelings I have for you both, I don't want them to disappear. My heart wouldn't support it. So please, give me some time. I will do my best to trust you and earn your trust as well. Please."

I place my heart on my heart and close my eyes. This is one of the few times when I am so sincere I could believe I am even lying to myself.

"Sniff…Sniff…You are one selfish guy, you know that?"

"Yes, I do. But even so, please." I can't really deny it. I am asking them to be comprehensive even though they don't ask anything in return. I know it is selfish and maybe even shameful, but even so…

"Well, we can really help it if you ask like that right?" Lanuvel grabs Farner's hand and they both come to me. Once again, I remember that although Farner looks even older than us, she actually is four years younger.

They each grab one of my hands and look at me with yearning eyes. Though Farner hasn't stopped crying. Then they both lean on me, embracing me with their whole bodies.

"You better keep your promise or I will have you eat dog's shit for a week."

"Huh…That's gross, Lanuvel."

"Shut up!"