THAT DAY I BECAME A STAR

I was worried that people would pop out again but surprisingly, more than an hour later, no one has come yet. I guess they gave up on their pursuit for now. Though I wonder how they knew where I was at first. Did they hear the explosions or something? 

I take some woods inside the cave and lighten it. While the fire warms the place, I look around and this looks surprisingly cozy. It is clean enough, and there are even rocks around that can be use as pillows. 

"Bring me back, fufufu." The good time with K'nor, when we were alone. Even with Anriette as well. Really the good times, everything was so simple. All I had to do was survive. Survive by any means necessary to see the next day. If only things could have stayed so simple…

"But no, I had to fall in love." Loved and being loved. How I regretted it now. If I hadn't take her hand, perhaps things could have stayed as simple as they were. Then none of it would be happening. 

"…" 

"I know, Cissa. There is no use thinking about if now. I must do what I have to do. And time is running out on my side so I can be dilly-dallying for long." 

"I was simply going to say that perhaps it was your fate from the beginning."

"Fate? Then fate had absolutely no jokes planned for me then." 

"It would seem so." 

I try to stay calm. I am really trying to best to do so. But my hands keep trembling. My heart won't stop beating at the thought of what I have to do and my brain just can't accept that this is the way. But with everything that was done to push me to do it and the current situation, can I really find another solution? 

"Maybe I should summon them and as for advice." Maria and N'donkeu did say that I could call them one last time to request their help, right? Isn't now a good time to do so.

But if I do that, then I will most probably do what they will tell me to. As Cissa said, I don't want to do this because people told me to. And knowing N'donkeu, he will probably tell me to do this. 

"But wait a minute… Maria said that once a hero dies, her soul transforms into something that can be used by the next generations, right?" After all, I have her weapons still imprinted on my arm. "Then if I find that and…" 

"How are you going to turn it into a soul and send it inside? She said you had to stab her and leave it for a long enough time so that it can absorb her soul." 

"Yeah, but maybe if I find one of those gemstones, I can find a way then. But where can I find one?"

"Is it not obvious?" 

"On the heroes, right?" Surely they are keeping it in their bracelets or on them. "But Cissa, I am surprised. I thought you were angry." 

"Does it look like I am not?" 

"Well…" 

"Sigh…Let's just say that no one can always be rational. Though, in your case, the number of times you were is not much. But I will support to the end, because it is my mission." 

"Thanks. Also, when the time comes, I…" 

"You want to run away again?" 

"It's just that…if I don't find an alternative…I…I don't think I will be able to continue knowing that I did it." 

"…Let us see what we can do first." 

I hear some noise outside right after Cissa says that. But there is only one heartbeat that is there. It took them long enough to find me. Is it a scout? Then it is better to leave now since he will alert the others. I leave the cave and find the only person I didn't want to have in front of me now. 

"Cissa, this is really fate? Or just some incredibly absurd curse?" 

"It would be fate from what I can see." 

"I have found you." 

***

"Farner, why are you here alone?" I can't hear anything else around. 

"Why would I reveal our tactics to you?" 

"Wait, don't tell me you were stubborn again and went ahead by yourself." 

"Who do you think I am?! We have divided an area for each-" Realizing her mistake, Farner rapidly hides her mouth with her hands in a cute way. So, the others aren't too far. Since she is alone, can I try to convince her? Would it work?

"Farner, liste-"

"Stop calling me by my name! I don't remember being intimate with you. And it is digusting to hear that name from the name of a devil like you." This is worse than I had imagined.

"Are you sure you don't remember anything?" Maybe if I give her facts that no one else would know, her memory will come back.

"Shut up and unsheathe your weapon. You may be a servant of the Longinus but you are still a human. I wouldn't want my honor to be tarnished by saying that I fought you without giving you a chance to defend yourself." 

"You have a mole on your left thigh." 

"W-what?" 

"You always wear thick socks because your toes get cold easily compared to your sisters. You like-"

"Who are you?!! Have you been observing us?!!" Farner jumps on me uncontrollably and slashes but it is an uncontrolled and overpowered slash. I grab her hands and spin to slam her on the ground then get on top of her and block her hands. 

"You like polishing your sword in the early morning whenever you don't oversleep. It is almost a ritual for you." 

Farner's face darkens. It seems what I did had the opposite effect of what I was hoping for.

"Since when have you been observing us?" 

"I haven't. We have been together for some years now."

"I have never seen you before in my life." That shitty goddess…

"And how do you know I am the servant of the Longinus. Are you guys sure you weren't mistaken?" 

"Silver hair, red snake eyes and light brown skin. Our mother told us in our dreams to search for it in the forest near the city." 

"Was it not too accurate? Don't you-"

Farner pushes me away and now gets on top of me. My freaking hands just won't stop shaking!!

"Now, surrender peacefully and I will keep my promise. You are too afraid to continue anyway." Afraid…

"You are right. I am afraid." 

"Then I will take you-"

"But if I can put an end to all this and free you from your duty. Then perhaps it is worth it." 

"What nonsense are you saying?!" She tries to punch me but I avoid it and Farner punches the ground right next to my face. A small crater is created together with the sound of the ground breaking apart. She didn't try to hold that one back at all. "Stop dodging already!!" 

"When you just want to split my head open?! No chance!!" 

I grab her head and pushes her back while standing. But Farner doesn't just let it slide and kick me with all her strength. The pain from my ribs is high enough for me to vomit blood. You really have a brutish strength. How I manage to survive with you all this time is a complete mystery. 

Still, I was pushed away by her kick. I…I will do it. I release Farner's head and back away then pull the dagger out. Now more than ever, I would want you to trust me. 

"Please, god of whatever victory, give me the strength to pull this through." 

"It's lord Varian. The god of absolute victory." 

"Thanks, Cissa. God Varian, please give me the strength to save her." 

"Have you gone insane?!" Farner brings out her sword but something else as well. A gemstone of some sort, which seems to be made of gold. 

"I will crush you with everything I have!! If you want to blame somebody, then blame yourself for ever working with the Longinus!!" 

The gemstone starts shining and after that, the light envelops Farner's whole body. After a few seconds, Farner appears, as beautiful as that day. Why did you have to complicate things so much?!! No, perhaps this is my chance. If I do it now, she might not even have to die. All I need to do is to get a heroe's soul into this thing. 

"I am sorry." I jump on Farner while her eyes are still closed and stab her right in the middle of the chest. 

"Arghh!!"

"I am sorry! I am so sorry!! Please; you must trust me!!" 

I try to pull out the dagger but it won't come out. What is this?!! Why isn't it coming out?!! The crystal on the dagger starts glowing and the intensity of the light increases while Farner's blood lands on my face as she is squirming in my hands. 

"Argh!! Argh!!!" She is screaming with madness and I pull the dagger with everything I can but it won't come out. 

"No!! No!!! No!!!!" How much of a fool was I to trust her?!! Of course, she had to be lying!! There was no way she said the truth!! 

"Fa-""

"Farner!!!!" Roxcia's voice resounds together with an explosion that throws me away and as my vision blurries more and more, I realize the painful truth of my stupidity.. I have just killed the woman I love.