The Alchemists

It had been a while since Jean and Finland walked together and chatted like this. After Finland married Caspar, she had to keep her distance from Jean because her husband had been very jealous of her closeness to Jean.

Thereafter, something always stood in the way - her successive pregnancies with London and Rune, the need to take care of her family - and in consequence, Finland could only meet Jean when they gathered for Christmas holidays or when they happen to be in America.

Now Jean had decided to take a year off from the movie industry because he wanted to help Finland since his best friend was surrounded with problems.

Not only because Finland had to take care of Aleksis who was sick, but also because Caspar had to leave for Germany to take care of his very large company group because his right hand, Kurt, had died.

Finland must divide her attention and time for her husband and children because they were left with no option but to live in separate places. Until Caspar could delegate all work matters to his confidants, he must be in Berlin and New York, while Aleksis had been decided to be treated in Switzerland.

Finland must divide her time between Switzerland and Germany and America and this made her tired. Even so, she was very grateful for having so much support from her family and friends.

"I'm glad Caspar considered Terry to help him take care of the company," Jean commented, pulling a grass flower and tucking it between his lips. He then sat on the meadow and tapped the place next to him, giving a sign for Finland to sit.

"Me too. He has left the business for too long and his focus lately has only been our family," Finland said with a smile. She then sat next to Jean. "I'm sure it won't be easy for him. Hopefully Terry can help ease his work."

"Hmm ... Our family is very funny, huh?" Jean asked her. He looked at Finland with a witty look. "Somehow, now we all have become one big family."

Finland nodded. She closed her eyes and smiled to herself. "I'm very grateful. Twenty years ago I was just a poor orphan who had nothing and nobody. Now, I have a wonderful family. I have wonderful children, I even have a son with my very best friend ..."

"Fate is indeed funny. If you hadn't needed money and hadn't sold your eggs in the past, there wouldn't be Terry." Jean nodded. "If I hadn't become a sperm donor, maybe forever I would never experience how it feels like to be a father. You know I'm not gifted as a parent. I'm also not interested in building a family with other people. Getting married is not the goal of my life, because my parents divorced when I was five years old. I don't believe in marriage."

He turned and looked at Finland deeply, "But thanks to you, I now have a family of my own, I have you and your children, and I have Terry. I will not exchange it for anything."

Finland felt Jean's attitude was rather strange for suddenly discussing this. She took Jean's hand and stared back at him, but with a questioning look, "Did something happen between you and Billie? Why are you acting so strangely? You've been talking about family but you haven't mentioned Billie at all. Isn't she your family too?"

Jean shook his head slowly, "Billie and I will never get married. She and I have a different outlook on life. I think it's time for me to take on a new identity. I will fake my death and start a new life. Billie doesn't want to come with me."

Finland was surprised to hear that. "Does that mean that ... now you've separated?"

Jean nodded.

Finland felt sorry for her friend. Jean and Billie had been together for over 15 years, and they were two of her favorite humans on earth.

She had really hoped that Jean and Billie could become a lasting couple, but unexpectedly, despite being together for over 15 years, the two finally chose to separate.

"If I may know, what made you and Billie decide to part ways?" Finland asked later. "Many people need tens to hundreds of years to be sure of their partners. Like Ned and Portia, for example, they were together for 200 years before they finally decided to get married. You have only been together for 15 years. Technically ... there is still plenty of time to get to know each other. . "

Jean smiled at that.

"You forgot that Ned and Portia are pure Alchemists. From birth they knew no other life. For them, life goes on very slowly because time is in their hands. The three of us were born as regular humans. You, me and Billie - we are more accustomed to normal human time. It is normal for us to find a partner in our 20s or 30s and get married before the age of 40, then build a family." He closed his eyes and laid his body on the grass with a relaxed attitude that Finland had not seen for a long time. "After 15 years together, Billie finally realized that we were very different. She wants to get married and have children, I don't."

"I know you are traumatized by marriage because your parents got divorced when you were little, but why do you let yourself be dictated by your parents' past experiences?" Finland asked again.

"Why don't you reflect on successful marriages? Like Caspar and mine, for example. We have been together for 21 years and we still love each other dearly, even more so. Our love seems to grow stronger every day. Our three children are bonuses that make our lives happier. I can't imagine my life without them."

"Maybe the pain caused by my parents' divorce cut me very deep - it hasn't healed even after 40 years," Jean shrugged, still closing his eyes.

"Billie is a good woman. She is too good for me. I get sad everytime she expresses her desire to be a mother. She loves Terry, but she wants to have children of her own. You know that as Alchemists, we can only have offspring if both parents want a child. After many years of trying, Billie came to realize that she wouldn't be able to get a child from me because I don't want one. 

One day, she cried on my chest and asked me what was she doing wrong … seeing her cry like that really broke my heart. But you know, it is not her fault, it is mine. Some of the songs in her last album are filled with sadness. I feel guilty, keeping her in a relationship without being able to give her what she wants. That's why I chose to leave."

Finland was stunned. After being friends with Jean for almost a quarter of a century, this was the first time they had a deep conversation about his relationship. She did not know that Jean's fear of marriage was so severe.

She felt sorry for Billie whom she knew really loved Jean. Finland still listened to Billie's songs and she now understood why her songs had turned darker lately. Apparently it was because she and Jean had ended their relationship.

"I hope you will find what you are looking for, Jean," said Finland then after a long silence. Their silence was interrupted by the sound of Finland's cell phone. She saw an incoming message from her husband. "Ah, Caspar is looking for me. Do you want to go back to the house now?"

Jean opened one of his eyes and smiled. "No, you go. I still want to be here."

"All right, see you later then." Finland patted Jean's shoulder then stood up and walked back toward the mansion.

Jean laid in the meadow for another half an hour. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the sound of the wind and the squeaking of the birds around him. His depressed mood slowly turned peaceful.