The Alchemists

"Are you still angry?" London asked again.

"I'm just tired. That's all." Finally, L replied.

"I was thinking a lot last night," London stopped his breakfast and looked gravely at L. "I don't know why I'm so easily upset and jealous when I see you with other men. I don't like myself for doing it. After thinking for a long time, I realized ... it happened because I feel insecure."

"What do you mean, you feel insecure?" L asked in surprise.

"Our relationship makes me feel insecure, L... I tried to be honest, and finally, I realized that the relationship that we have is only going in one direction. It's been one-sided most of the time. I was always after you and want to marry you, and you always rejected me... That's why I feel insecure. You don't love me, while I love you so much."

"That's not true. I've accepted your proposal ..." L refuted London's words.

"Yes, you FINALLY did accept my proposal and were willing to marry me after I proposed to you for the umpteenth time. But last night I realized that ... you might accept my proposal because you were cornered and feel like you've got no other options. That's why you couldn't say no. Until today, I have never heard you tell me that you love me. I was always the one who professed love to you. Now I realize, maybe I pushed you too much so that you felt that you had no choice and were willing to marry me."

London studied L's face carefully as he spoke, trying to understand what was in the girl's heart, but as usual, he could not read L.

"I'm sorry I became a jealous and possessive man, but I can't change who I am. I don't want to keep making you upset, but I'm sure in the future I will become even more jealous because I feel insecure. Please be honest with me if I make you feel pressured, I'll try to fix it."

L stared back at London with a complicated look. She then turned her gaze to Lily, who was sleeping very cutely in her basket. Finally, a soft voice came from her lips.

"I ... I'm still too young to get married. If it wasn't for Lily, I wouldn't be in this situation." L looked down and wrung her fingers. "I think you feel cornered too. You only want to marry me because you want to be responsible for Lily. After knowing your identity, it was very difficult for me to make a fair decision because I knew you only wanted to be responsible for Lily and me. However, at the same time, I don't want you and other people to think I only married you because of your identity and your wealth that comes with it. This is a very difficult situation for me."

"I know you are still very young, and I understand that. I have never had a romantic partner before, and neither have you. I understand if you don't want to marry me and you want to hide our relationship from the press. I don't like it, but I won't force you. I no longer want you to marry me."

L was stunned to hear London's words. "What do you mean? Are you going to cancel the wedding?"

"I can't keep doing this, L," London said, shaking his head with a heavy heart. "I cannot be your kept man. I can't accept you keep our baby a secret because you consider her a disgrace. I understand that as an artist, you need to protect your reputation. I understand that you are a judge's daughter who cannot tell lies. I also understand that you are too young to get married and build a family. Because of that ... I now release you from all the pressures that I have unknowingly put on you. I don't want you to be my family because I force you to..."

"You ... really want to cancel the wedding?" L asked, frowning.

"Correct." London nodded steadily. He had thought about this long enough last night, with a clear head. He knew that every time L appeared with another man while the girl was still hiding their relationship, London would continue to feel jealous, and he did not want such a situation.

"Until you can love me, accept me completely, and acknowledge Lily and me openly, I will not ask you to marry me again. I cannot always force myself to hold back when I see you close with other men and heard you being gossiped with other men while you insist on keeping our relationship a secret."

L bit her lip. "Then what do you want now?"

"I want you to be happy. I want you to know exactly what you want in life. Whether it's with me or not." London took a deep breath. For him, it was hard to make this decision, but he realized he had to be assertive. "Because you are the mother of my child, I will still give you the immortality potion as a gift. You don't have to marry me. You can stay in this house with Lily, and I will hire some human staff to help you. I will stay in my family's mansion, and we can share custody over Lily. I will take her with me whenever you need time to be alone."

L looked at London with a deadpan expression. "Okay."

At a time like this, London really hoped that his brother, Rune, or his uncle Aldebar invented the machine that could read women's minds, but he already knew the answer that it was impossible.

"All right. Then I'll move out later in the afternoon," London said before then finishing the coffee in his cup. "You can always contact me if you needed anything. I will be just next door. We will arrange custody of Lily later. Whenever you want to leave her with, you can go to my family home. Meanwhile, I will appreciate it if you let me take Lily all day today."

L nodded again. They returned to eat in silence. After finishing breakfast, London packed only one suitcase containing his personal belongings. He could easily buy new clothes, he thought.

When he arrived at his family's mansion, Finland and Caspar who saw him came were surprised because he was carrying a suitcase.

"What's going on? Did you fight with L?" Finland asked, frowning. For some reason, she felt the problems between London and L were endless.

"Instead of fighting, we actually talked nicely and decided to give space for each other," London explained. "I thought a lot last night about our relationship, and I feel that she and I are just too young to get married."