The Alpha King

My heart leap into my throat as I became fully aware that my mate was here. Xavier was finally here.

I quickly sat up and searched the darkened room. The only light that filled the room was the light from outside coming through the window.

My eyes finally landed on a darkened figure sitting in a chair in one of the corners of the room. My heart beat picked up and I almost forgot all about the pain that was slowly coming back.

"Xavier," I said and as soon as I said that I felt a sharp pain all over my body. I bent over and cried out instantly. I squeezed my eyes shut but opened them when I felt his warm comforting touch.

Xavier was besides me, touching my bare arm soothingly. I almost cried out at his touch. It felt as if I hadn't felt it in forever and the fact that he managed to soothe my pain, even slightly was more than enough for me.

"Xavier," I said again, feeling as if I'd burst into tears at any moment, "you're here," I choked out.

"Yes," came his simple detached reply.

"Where were you all this time?" I said through the pain. I couldn't care less about it right now. The only thing that mattered was that he was here.

I watched as his eyes drifted to the side of my head. Removing his hand from my arm he leaned slightly away from me.

It would be a lie to say that didn't hurt.

"Away," He said simply. His behaviour and his actions were starting to sting, a lot.

"I know that you were away Xavier because you weren't here for I don't know lets see..." I pretended to think for a moment then seethed, "almost a month!"

"I'm here now aren't I?" My face flamed red at his cheeky reply and I swear if I wasn't so ecstatic to see him and in so much of pain I would have hit him over the head.

"That's all you can say to me, is that you're here now, are you serious?!" I said sitting up even straighter and glaring at him with all my might.

His eyes flashed a streak of blue and as quickly as is came it left. His wolf clearly wasn't appreciating being spoken to like that.

Xavier looked at me for a split second, his nostrils flared and then he abruptly got up from the bed and yelled, "f*ck, must you be so infuriating!" as he swiped the contents of my bedside table onto the floor.

I jumped back and blinked up at him and his outburst in sudden shock. I was not expecting him to lash out like that.

"Xav-"

"No, don't speak, your mere presence is driving my wolf insane right now." He said angrily and ran his fingers through his hair. He gripped it slightly then closed his eyes and took a deep breath in through his nose and then out.

My mouth hung open at him like a dead fish. What is wrong with him? Why is he behaving so out of character? No matter how much I missed him, I will not allow him to speak to me like that. No one tells me when I can and cannot speak.

I heard him mumbling something about my scent but ignored it and scolded him instead.

"You do not tell me when to speak and when not to, Xavier!" I said raising my voice.

"Victoria please, you don't understand what I am going through!"

"So tell me, God damn it!" He was silent after I demanded he tell me exactly what he was going through. He just looked back at me and my anger diminished slightly when I noticed the torn look in his eyes.

How could I have forgotten, of course, he still thinks I cheated on him. No wonder he's so angry, I'm so stupid.

"Xavier, please listen to me, I-I know you must hate me right no-"

"Victoria I do-"

"No, listen to me, I know you must hate me right now and I understand why but you have it all wrong. I didn't cheat on you with Killian. Kathryn, she lied to you! Can't you see that she was try-"

"Victoria, I don't care if you did or if you didn't," his words left me in shock and I looked at him as if he was crazy. What?! He has to care about something like that, how could he not?!

"Let me finish, yes, I did care in the beginning, very much so. When Kathryn came to me I didn't believe her but then Edward confirmed her words, one of my very own men, who I thought would never dare to lie to their king and Alpha. I was immediately filled with anger and jealousy and I thought perhaps Kathryn isn't lying. My wolf got worked up and we trashed the foyer in our rage.

We have never lost control before like that but the mere thought of you with another was too much to bare. So you can imagine how I felt, walking into that clearing and seeing him on top of yo-"

"Xavier it wasn't like that! We were sparing!"

"I don't care Victoria, when I saw another male on top of my mate, I was beyond furious. I didn't care if Killian was my Delta or someone that was almost as close to me as a brother, all I wanted was his death. My wolf wanted to sink his teeth into Killian's neck and so did I.

We were going to, you know, we wanted nothing more but then you stopped us. You saved his life when you foolishly stepped in front of us."

"Yes and I regret nothing." I said strongly because I did. I would never allow Xavier to harm someone who didn't do anything wrong.

"But you see, I do. I regret a lot of things Victoria. In that moment, when you opened your memories and mind to me fully and-and I saw, I actually saw and felt only a sliver of what you went through...Victoria it tore me to pieces. I went so still, so numb, I think, to me that feeling is what death should feel like."

"Xavier please stop, you don-" I said holding back a sob. To hear him speak such things, such horrible things, I-I couldn't bare it.

"No, Victoria, I want you to fully understand how I felt." He said walking closer to me and as he knelt besides my bed, he took my hands into his and began speaking again, " I realised in that moment, a moment that shall forever be ingrained into my memory that I had truly failed you as a mate. You never really told me what had happened to you and I thought it would be best if I didn't push you to talk about it but I was wrong.

It was like my nightmares came to life, seeing you in that dark cell, your body so-" Xavier closed his eyes and swallowed hard.

My heart continued to beat faster the more he spoke. I had never seen him like this; so raw, so open and vulnerable. I had the Alpha King down on his knees.

I had my mate on the verge of tears kneeling in front of me.

My heart was going to burst.

"I realised that I had done that. I had allowed that to happen. I failed you in the worst way possible. It is because of me that you will forever be scarred emotionally and physically and I couldn't bare it. I-I can't even describe the feeling Victoria but one thing was for sure, I could not look into your eyes any longer knowing what I did to you."

"Xavier, stop, just stop, right now! I won't hear another word of this!" I shouted and hadn't even realised I was crying.

Xavier remained kneeling in front of me. He looked up at me and said nothing as I shouted at him, he merely reached up and wiped my tears away with the pads of his thumbs.

"I don't think I could ever look into your eyes again Victoria. I'm a monster, you deserve so much more. You deserve someone that could protect you better than I did, someone who couldn't hurt you like I did, someone who hadn't left you alone because they were so focused on vengeance.. I realised I was selfish and because I love you, I have to let you go," he said as a tear trailed down his cheek.