The Alpha King

I looked away from him as I couldn't bare to look at him in this moment. We didn't say anything for a moment as he stood right in front of me. I somehow couldn't find the strength to speak.

Xavier stroked my cheek gently and then moved my face so that I was looking at him. When I looked into his eyes, it immediately made me feel calm. As soon as I remembered the reason as to why I was here, I grew anxious again.

This just wasn't fair, how could I possible look into his eyes and tell him. Tell him that we won't be parents, that he won't be a father. After all the death and bloodshed of these past few days, the worry and fear, the fighting...how could I now on top of all of that tell him this news. I couldn't bare it.

"What's wrong, Victoria, your heart is racing like crazy."

Xavier looked at me with concern now and I tired as hard as possible to hold back my tears and not show him my increasing panic. No matter how much I dreaded it, I had to tell him but not here.

"Can-can we go somewhere private?" I asked him. He furrowed his eyebrows at me but silently took my hand into his larger one and lead me away.

I followed him in silence as he walked, my hand still clutched in his, into the castle and up into our bedroom. Upstairs in our private wing, locked away in our bedroom, I felt even worse but it was indeed a private enough space to tell him. No one will hear us and no one will disturb us.

I walked towards our bed in the centre of the room and sat down, my feet hanging over the edge. Xavier kneeled in front of me and took my hands in his.

"Tell me what's wrong, please, I can't bare seeing you so worried." I swallowed a lump in my throat as the guilt began to eat at me.

It would be the hardest thing I ever had to do and looking right now into his steel grey eyes, it pained me more than anything.

"I-I don't even know how to. I'm so scared Xavier. I'm-" I couldn't help it but tears started falling from my eyes and it became harder to breath. Xavier immediately got up and wrapped his arms around me.

"Shoo, it's okay, I'm here," he soothed as he stroked my hair.

With his arms around me I found the strength to go on, "I-I went to the pack doctor."

"Okay and what happened," he asked gently.

"He took some tests and then he told me that he had some bad news." My voice grew wobbly and my body felt hot as my tears began to well up again. Xavier moved me slightly away from him so that he could look at my face.

I looked into his face as he wiped my tears with the pads of his thumbs. "Whatever the news was, we can deal with it okay. There's nothing we can't overcome. Now what did he say?"

I wanted to believe him so badly. I sniffed and gathered the courage to just tell him.

"He said that I-that I was pregnant," I felt his entire body go stiff. "But that wasn't all that he said. He said that when Cadmer blasted me with his magic it killed our child of four weeks and now there's a possibility that I can never have children again." I couldn't bare to look at his face, to see the hate and the resentment and the anger and the shock. I couldn't bare to see any of it.

The silence between us was broken when I started sobbing. "Xavier I'm so, I'm so sorry, it's my fault, I-I did this to us and-and I'll understand if you couldn't forgive me and I know you-you must hate me for what I-I di-"

"Victoria,"

"I could never forgive myself either and so- I can understand that you won't either-"

"Victoria liste-"

"I did this. I didn't even know that I was, oh by the Moon I was pregna-"

"VICTORIA LISTEN TO ME!"

I gasped as he shook me slightly. I snapped out of whatever I was being sucked into and for the first time I looked at his face and saw...tears running down his cheeks. I sniffled and tried my hardest to keep my tears at bay. My nose was running and my face was as red as anything. My eyes felt heavy and so did my heart and seeing Xavier cry like this, it broke me even more.

"Victoria, stop, please," he whispered. I searched his face and then suddenly when I thought he'd walk away from me or something he took me completely by surprise as he buried his face into my neck and hugged me tightly to him.

He cried softly into my shoulder and I stood frozen in his arms. He hates me, doesn't he, I thought numbly.

"I could never, ever hate you." He mind linked me. I gasped softly and replied to him through our link, "how could you not after what I've done?"

"You didn't do anything wrong, it was Cadmer. Even in death he continues to haunt us."

Xavier drew away from me and wiped his eyes.

"I love you more than anything and anyone in this world and nothing you do or ever could do will change that. My heart, my soul, my entire being belongs only to you." He said out loud and not through our link.

My eyes once again welled up as his words drove a knife into my heart.

"How can you say that after what I just told you. We lost our child and we can never have another."

"You're wrong, we can." He said with so much conviction that I almost believed him.

"But Doctor Harrison said tha-"

"That there's a possibility that we can't. Am I right?"

I thought back to our conversation and then answered hesitantly, "yes, he did, I guess."

"Exactly, he didn't say never. There is still a possibility and that means there is still a chance that we can."

I thought over his words and realised that he was indeed right. There was a possibility that we could have a child just as much as there was a possibility that we couldn't.

He walked even closer towards me and touched my stomach. I looked down at his hand on my stomach and when I looked back up he was already looking straight at me.

"You are the strongest werewolf I know and together we have faced odds far worse than this. Together we can get through anything and we have achieved so much. I never, ever want to hear you say or even think that I could ever hate you let alone blame you for something that you did not do.

Yes, my heart is hurting for the loss we have to face but seeing you break down like that and blame yourself like that hurt me too. You are so brave and this doesn't mean it's the end. It's only the beginning, the beginning of our lives that will be filled with nothing but happiness and peace and I vow to make you the happiest werewolf on this earth. You will never know darkness ever again from this day forward. Do you hear me Victoria?"

When I nodded, being unable to say anything back, he continued, "I love you," and then he kissed me deeply and slowly.

In his arms and in his kiss I just knew that everything would be okay and that I had truly found my home. I believed everything that he had said and I knew together we could conquer anything.

Not only did he heal my soul but he gave it a home, entangled forever more in his.