The Ball at Your Feet

Zhang Yuan hesitated. When he asked people about it, he heard that the content of psychological counseling could not be asked casually. However, he couldn't help but curiosity again, and still spoke, "The psychological consultation, do you think it is helpful to yourself?"

This topic silenced Zhao Yaning. Zhang Yuan saw that his expression was wrong and wanted to change the topic, but Zhao Yaning spoke at this moment, "Brother Zhang, do you think I am a particularly hypocritical person?"

"Hypocrisy? Where do you start? Your kid has a lot of problems, but basically it has nothing to do with hypocrisy, right?" Zhang Yuan asked a little strangely.

"But I felt this way after talking to Mr. Loyle. There are many things that I haven't noticed myself, but he dug up all of them for me. Sometimes I think about it, and I feel so hypocritical. ."

"What's the matter? Let's listen to it." Zhang Yuan also came to be interested.

"Remember, I always wanted to help the national team make some achievements," Zhao Yaning told of his own experience. "I feel that I can be considered a patriot in any way, but Mr. Loyle said that I am not at all. Patriotic, he said that I did this and it had nothing to do with patriotism."

"This grandson is farting." Zhang Yuan immediately made his own answer, "If you say you have other problems, I might believe it. But the patriotism is still questionable? Your kid is like this. If it’s not patriotic anymore, then if I’m like this, would I just pull it out and install a crime of treason and make me abrupt? If you fart."

Zhang Yuan waved his hand in an attempt to dispel the non-existent smell in the air. In this regard, he never doubted Zhao Yaning's character. If it is said that Zhao Yaning has other problems, Zhang Yuan still believes that, but on the issue of patriotism, Zhang Yuan can't wait to smoke Zhao Yaning. Why would anyone say that he is not patriotic?

Zhang Yuan's emotions made Zhao Yaning a bitter smile, but he continued.

"Mr. Loyle said that the reason why I have always wanted to achieve something in the national team is not because I am patriotic, but because I lack a sense of identity." Zhao Yaning said about his psychological counseling. "He said, I have always wanted Get the recognition of others, especially the eagerness to get the recognition of those who once looked down on me. That’s why when I play in the national team, I work hard and want to achieve results. He said that I did this because I have never been recognized by others. Ever since I was young, I have always dreamed of joining the national team, but I have always been brushed down. Therefore, I am unanimously lacking recognition from this aspect. And now, I have this opportunity, but But he is always reluctant to be satisfied, and he will not stop if he does not do his best in this regard. He said that this is the same as the kind of person who hadn't eaten enough when he was a child and grew up hungry."

"Will this grandson make an analogy? Can't you find a better example?" Zhang Yuan cursed, "Do you think what he said makes sense?"

"I don't know. Some things he said are very hurtful and make me feel so selfish." Zhao Yaning smiled bitterly. "He said that the reason why I want the national team to achieve results is that on the one hand, it is excluded by the national team, on the other hand. , Because the various criticisms and discriminations I received while living in Europe made me want to be proud, I want to become famous, to be known to everyone, everyone respects me, and everyone in the society agrees. I. He also said that the reason why I want to get ahead in the national team is because I was rejected by the national team in the past, expelled from the sports school, and abandoned by the entire Chinese football community. Satisfy my desire for approval in my heart."

"I think what he said is quite reasonable." Zhang Yuan nodded and said, "You are not a saint, but you are so persistent in this matter. Under the feet, not only do you have this thought, but I also have it. Not only do I want to step on it, but I also want to run a few more feet to crush him. What he said is also a little reasonable and a little way. What else did he say? "

"He also said that the reason why I play football is extremely restrictive, and even my life is extremely restrictive, because of the psychological shadow created by the harsh training environment of the sports school when I was a child. He said that the reason why I played this habit was because I was physically active. When I was in school, I was afraid of being expelled. When playing football, I always pursued perfection too much, and pursued no mistakes. After a long time, I always subconsciously follow the rules and dare not violate any regulations. He said that I do not seek meritorious work. But the idea of ​​seeking no fault was developed at that time."

Zhao Yaning’s words caused Zhang Yuan to fall into silence. After a while, he nodded and said, "That’s right, you can’t let go of playing football. You are obviously very capable, but when you play, you always look like you are bound and shot a few feet. So what? What happened to the wave? You are at this age. Don't always think about how to get insurance when you play football."

But this is easier said than done, and Zhang Yuan himself knows how impossible it is for Zhao Yaning to get rid of the habit he had cultivated since childhood. Since childhood, because there is no money to take care of the relationship with the coach, Zhao Yaning always has to work harder and harder than others when playing football. In the game, he must also be more careful and hardworking, except for a little bit. Mistakes, it is possible for someone to find excuses to remove the main position. Growing up in this situation, how could he have the mind to try various moves boldly, shoot in the game, or always pursue a beautiful through ball?

It is the character of the person that is more difficult to change than the game.

"He also said, I am an ostrich." Zhao Yaning remembered the words of the psychologist. "He said, my mentality is the ostrich mentality. I have been playing abroad for a long time, and I know how to play real professional football. Yes, I also know that many domestic problems are not simply someone’s problems, or they can be easily changed by myself. But I know the dark side of society, but I always hope that everything is as pure as I hope. Transparent. I know that a lot of shady scenes are there, but I would rather choose to ignore it and just stick to my own views. I know clearly that my own power cannot change the world, but I still want to try hard ..."

"You tell him everything." Zhang Yuan couldn't help but said.

"Mr. Loyle is a professional psychologist. He guided me to speak out without knowing it. You should go to him if you have time. It's good for you."

"I don't have the spare money, let alone the spare time." Zhang Yuan immediately refused, "And what's the big deal? Young people, who are new to the society are like this, always feel that everything is pretty good, even if it's insight. It’s also possible that your mind won’t be able to turn around for a while. You are a stubborn species, it is inevitable that you will be like this. But it’s good to realize it, and now it’s not too late to change."

"I don't want to change." Zhao Yaning responded indifferently.

"Are you stubborn again?" Zhang Yuan smiled bitterly.

"No, I really want to change some things." Zhao Yaning shook his head, "He is really right. A lot of dark things are there. No matter how ostrich I am, it is useless to pretend I don’t know. But I After thinking about this question, what I need is not to close my eyes and pretend that the sky is blue and the grass is green. Everything is beautiful. But what I want to do is not to follow the darkness completely and become Darker than them, as **** as them, as shameless as them."

"What I want to do is to recognize this darkness, keep myself clean in the dark. Just like there is silt on the ground, I stepped on it before and pretended not to know, but what I want to do now is not trying hard. Jump inside and let myself be covered in mud. I want to find a way to get around them. As long as I keep my eyes wide open, I can walk very far in the dark, even when dawn comes. UU Reading www.uukanshu.com "

Zhang Yuan listened to what he said, and sighed until he finished speaking, "Since you are willing to tell me, then I will also talk about my opinion of you. Brother, you are a good person, really good. But Sometimes you are stupid and cute. I am worried for you sometimes. With such a temper, what can you do if you live alone in society? If God doesn’t reward you with your skills, how can you survive? ?"

"I don't know, I haven't thought about it either." Zhao Yaning said the truth, "Mr. Loyle said that my ideas are pathological. I think everything in this world is too dark, because I have suffered injustices. Treatment, so I always feel that other people treat me badly. Because I think society is dark, I avoid it and hide. I like training and playing football because when I play on the court, those dirty Things are difficult to mix in, and I am facing a clean environment."

That's not necessarily, Zhang Yuan said in his heart, but did not refute. He knew that Zhao Yaning did not like to compromise on this issue.

"I thought about it a lot after the psychological consultation last night, and I even cried once." Zhao Yaning said softly, "I never realized that I was actually a hypocritical and timid person. I wanted Many things, honors, victories, fame, of course, it’s better to have money, but I never dared to admit it. I said I want to be on the football field, in life, in all aspects, for my parents, for the ball Team, to contribute to the cause of football, but in fact, I did nothing."

"It's good to have that heart." Zhang Yuan could only say a word of comfort.

"No, not enough." Zhao Yaning shook his head, "I have to go the way I choose. I don't want to complain about powerlessness. I need to grow by myself so that I have enough strength to bear everything."