The Black Swan Behind

317 Give up

Emma did like Levi. They both were friends – The good ones. However, rude was rude, whoever did it.

But what was even more surprising, Emma’s punch had no significant impact on Levi. Yes, he did move back an inch or two. But he came back stuck to her like a postage stamp.

What happened to this madman? Did loving a girl he couldn’t have made him lose his mind?

However, this was not the time for Emma to feel awed by Levi’s tenacity or madness. She didn’t know what Levi meant by doing this to her. However, she would know that once she let go of his tight embrace. And it had to happen right now!

Emma struggled to keep trying to push Levi off. She had never expected that Levi was this strong. She couldn’t let go even though she had put out her inner strength. Was it because she was too surprised that her strength was weakening? And maybe, it was also because Levi’s body was completely attached to hers, so it was difficult for her hands to move to push him away?

“Are you crazy?! Let me go!” Emma growled with a glance at a woman and her two sons who were watching the two of them as they walked out the door. Maybe they feel uncomfortable seeing this event. Emma was even more embarrassed because the both of them must have looked like a perverted couple who didn’t know the place.

Emma again pushed Levi and it succeeded in making the man let go of his hug. She almost slapped him but her hand stopped when she realized Levi’s face was quite close to hers. She looked into his eyes which were focused on the bottom of her neck. Brow frowning, she followed the direction the two grey eyes stared.

It was a pendant in the shape of a star that Levi had between his two fingers – A beautiful pendant that seemed to twinkle in the whiteness of the ice around them and was attached to a necklace that was wrapped around Emma’s neck.

Emma was stunned. Apparently, Levi had been putting a necklace around her neck. That was what caused him to insist on not letting go of his embrace. He wanted to put a necklace around the neck of the girl he loved.

.....

“You shine like a star, and I am a wanderer lost in the desert. The only hope to get out of this barren and harsh place is to follow the star,” Levi raised his eyes, looking at Emma deeply with his gleaming eyes.

“I know you don’t want me. I know there is another man who you might think is much better than me. But I beg you, Emma. Just give me a chance. I need you the most. You are my star.” He continued.

Levi’s words were like a knife that stabbed into Emma’s chest. Supposedly, she felt happy when the man she liked had feelings for her that big. She should have felt grateful because she had such a beautiful meaning in Levi’s eyes.

However, the fact that she had to reject him made her heart ache immensely. Again, Emma was faced with a situation that made her confused about whether to choose her logic or her feelings.

The pain travelled up Emma’s throat and nostrils. She knew she would probably cry because of this. Before that happened, she immediately stood up and slid away from Levi.

In his life, Levi had never studied or been taught how to deal with rejection. Was it wrong if he kept trying? Was it wrong if he fought for his feelings? Did he really have to give up everything for Emma? Was he ready to lose everything for her?

Levi understood that the biggest reason Emma rejected him was their condition. He understood that he was a selfish man. He forced Emma to accept his love and be his, even though he himself still hid many things from her. But, he was in a dilemma. The problem was that it wasn’t just Emma that he had to protect.

The incident just now made Emma’s adrenaline surge. Previously, she had to walk carefully with the skates. Now, she could walk quickly on the two blades. She immediately sat down on a long chair near the locker and struggled to take off her shoes which had been tied very tightly by Levi.

After her shoes were off, Emma immediately went to the locker, but she stopped because she just remembered that she didn’t have the locker key. She clenched her fists and turned around. But how surprised she was when she found Levi was right behind her back.

Levi’s face looked gloomy, much bleaker than when they first met this day. It was as if he had just heard the news of his mother’s death and had lost hope. Emma was increasingly feeling sorry for the impact she had on Levi. At times like this, she began to regret their first meetings – Regretting all the stupid conversations and agreements they had made.

“I’m sorry. I know I’ve crossed the line,” Levi said as he stepped closer to the girl in front of him.

Emma took a step back only to bump her back against the locker door. “Let me go,”

Levi immediately shook his head. He placed his hands on either side of Emma and pressed his palms against the locker door to lock her in the middle. “No. I won’t let you go,” he said with his face hung down.

Levi’s intimidating attitude didn’t make Emma afraid. She wasn’t the type of girl who would go limp in her knees from being pushed like this by a man. On top of all that, she felt confused.

“What’s wrong with you, Levi? You keep asking me to give you a chance. However, you keep a lot of things from me. You even said that you have another love. Now, think with your brain. Am I that stupid to accept your love?” Emma asked.

Levi’s head was still down. His mouth felt dry, like a barren land that had not tasted rain for decades. He couldn’t answer Emma’s question. And that felt very torturous.

It felt like Levi really wanted to open his mouth as wide as possible and tell Emma all the reasons. But he couldn’t. The risk was too great –No, It wasn’t a risk. The risk was the degree of likelihood that a side effect would occur. In this case, there was no risk because the side effects would definitely occur. And when that happened, Levi would lose everything, including Emma.

“I can’t say it,” Levi said slowly.

“Then I can’t accept you, Levi. Please, don’t make this more difficult and painful for both of us, hm?” Emma asked as gently as possible.

“This is indeed difficult. Sorry if I’m forcing you to feel the difficulties that I’m feeling,” Levi said without even lifting his face.

Emma looked at the man with a concerned face. If she was strong under pressure, then she was actually weak in holding sympathy. Emma was weak when it came to people who beg her. She was easy to like others and easy to pity others. If her mind was as hard as a rock, then her heart was as soft as cotton.

“We keep walking in a circle, Levi. This will never end if we don’t end it,” Emma uttered.

Finally, Levi raised his head. He looked into Emma’s brown eyes as if he could find comfort in them. However, he couldn’t force her to do what he wanted. Emma had rejected him many times, but he kept forcing his will on her. He must be very grateful if Emma still willing to see him again and spend time together even if only as a friend.

Levi shook his head slowly. “Very well. I give up. I won’t try to get you anymore. I won’t force you to follow my very selfish heart,”

‘Give up’ was the sentence Emma wanted to hear from Levi since they started to get stuck in this stupid love circle. Yes, that was what her brain wanted to hear. However, it was not what her heart wanted to hear.