The Cat hides its Claws

“But I have a question.”

The boys were complaining about filling their stomachs with fruit, right after eating more than half the box of tangerines Sajun had brought.

Myohan, who was chewing a piece of tangerine O Shin had given him, turned to the wide-eyed Miho.

“Why are you all helping him find the twelve zodiac animals?”

“They aren’t exactly helping,”

Myohan couldn’t help muttering so. He got a number of fierce gazes in return, but he really meant it and the boys couldn’t argue with him. Well, they weren’t helping at all. That was a fact. Myohan’s cat struggled to climb onto his lap and sat down.

“Of course it’s because I had a crush on…”

“Cheong, you can’t throw fruit at him!”

“Let me go!”

Sajun, who said something first, grinned and raised both his hands in surrender as Myo Cheong picked up another tangerine angrily. Jagyeom tutted and rubbed his chin. At first, he had been forced to help, but at the moment he couldn’t even remember that.

“He threatened me with something…”

“I didn’t, don’t feel like that, rat.”

“Don’t call me that!”

Myohan chuckled as he helped himself with another tangerine. O Shin peeled another one and placed it in front of him.

“Turning into a rabbit once was enough… Shit, I hate it,” Myo Cheong said with a frown. Then he recalled the unhappy event and sadly buried his face in his hands. They could almost see his rabbit ears drooping. Jino patted his shoulder, but then he ended up getting a blow after saying, “But you’re cute when you turn into…”

“As for me!”

Sinsul, who had been listening quietly, raised a hand with shining eyes. He looked excited, like a child about to do a show-and-tell, so Myohan cut him short.

“I’m not playing soccer with you.”

“Oh, but why?”

“Somebody, please play soccer with him.”

“Jagyeom, how about…?”

“No.”

After being rejected twice, Sinsul became sad. Then he crouched down in a corner and started murmuring about how everyone was ultimately alone. Myohan gave him no attention, of course, and looked straight at Miho. He seemed dazed by those meaningless answers.

“Then why are you with me?”

He didn’t ask why he was helping with finding the twelve zodiac animals. Miho blinked, and then he looked away.

“I…”

Myohan could see why he was asking. He was wondering why everyone was there. He felt out of place as he was there without any solid reason.

Jagyeom saw his hesitation and let out a small sigh.

“There’s no reason for helping…”

“I told you, none of you is of any help.”

“…Hanging out together.”

“Right.”

Jagyeom gave Myohan a hard gaze, but he just looked back. Jagyeom frowned.

Sajun grinned and agreed with Jagyeom.

“People are always befriending complete strangers, and it was even easier for us to be close as we have one thing in common; we’re all animals.”

It made sense, which wasn’t like him. Even Myo Cheong nodded to that. His blushing cheeks indicated he was feeling embarrassed. Sinsul, who had regained his cheerfulness in no time, went and placed an arm around Miho’s shoulders.

“That’s why you’re going to play soccer with me!”

“That’s why? What does it have to do with that?”

“Miho and I are friends, which means we have to play soccer together!”

“And what about Miho’s opinion?”

Myohan snorted. Sinsul gave Miho his wide puppy eyes, begging him to say they were friends. Miho blinked, but then he smiled. It was a shy smile he had never shown them before.

“Yes, we’re friends.”

The cat curled up on Myohan’s lap and closed its eyes. O Shin smiled as he looked at it.

They left only after having dinner together. After they were gone, saying they would meet again at school the day after, emptiness took their place. The wide living room was way too big for Myohan to use alone.

“You look lonely.”

O Shin went to him from behind and hugged him. Myohan liked the warmth, so he looked up at him. The cat approached them and tried rubbing its face on Myohan’s leg. He spoke calmly,

“Being lonely means feeling alone after being together.”

“So?”

“I’ve always been alone, so I’m not lonely.”

He sounded dry. The cat meowed. O Shin turned Myohan, stroked his hair, and kissed him. His lips went away after a short kiss, giving a soft warmth. He spoke gently as he looked at Myohan with affectionate eyes.

“Since when have you been alone?”

“Since the beginning.”

Myohan knew that answer made no sense, but it was the best he would get.

“I’ve been living alone since the beginning.”

He had been always alone, for as long as he could remember. He had never felt human warmth, having no one to rely on when he was only a child who needed to be protected. Why? Since when? He didn’t know. Someone kept sending him money, so he just lived on.

“The cat is loved by everyone,”

O Shin said. His eyes looked even more mysterious than usual.

“Even god loves the cat.”

The cat looked up at him, blinking. O Shins eyed at it, and then he leaned down, holding Myohan’s head with both hands.

“And that greed makes the cat suffer.”

“Meow—”

Their lips met slowly and parted slowly.

“But what the cat really wants is love from the person he chose.”

‘What you really want,’

Myohan’s head started to buzz. Another memory was coming out. The cat hit the floor with its tail and then growled at O Shin. Myohan heard an unfamiliar voice in his head.

‘Must be affection from the person you chose.’

It wasn’t O Shin. It was kinder, nobler, and softer. Another image formed in his mind. A man was lying on a grassy riverbank and speaking to him. He stretched out a hand to stroke Myohan’s cheek. He could see his face behind a thin fabric that covered it.

‘But that’s not me.’

He had never seen that face before, but it felt so familiar. He recognized his delicate features and the way he looked at him with love. Myohan frowned. At the same time, O Shin covered his eyes with his huge hand and looked down at the cat.

Myohan’s mind went dark the moment his eyes were covered. He soon passed out.

“Meow—”

O Shin easily took him and carried him in his arms after he collapsed. He looked down at the cat again. It was still looking at him, its yellow eyes dangerously persistent. It watched him kiss Myohan’s forehead, and then it got up. O Shin turned to Myohan again.

“This time,”

He spoke to the cat and it stopped, its angry pupils narrowing in an instant. Without looking back, O Shin said sadly,

“Have mercy on me.”

***

Myohan had a familiar dream. He didn’t recognize the forest he was in, but he knew where to go. He also knew it was a dream, but he couldn’t wake up. He just walked, as if he was running away. He could see he was a little boy.

Then he stopped at some point. There was a large lake in front of him, and the sky above it was clear and blue. At the lake’s other side, a familiar man was looking at him. He approached Myohan, embraced his small body, and spoke kindly,

‘It will be okay now.’

He was gentle. Myohan couldn’t see his face as it was covered with a thin fabric, but he could tell his eyes were warm as he looked at him. He placed a hand on Myohan’s forehead and spoke,

‘I will protect you.’

Myohan could feel himself getting smaller. His arms and legs shortened. When he stretched out a hand, he saw a furry paw. The man picked him up and slowly caressed him.

‘You have…’

Wind blew. It made the fabric and the man’s hair flutter. Myohan blinked as he looked up at him. The man’s face was smiling.

‘Such mysterious eyes.’

“Myohan!”

It snapped him out of his thoughts. Myohan turned to look at who was calling him. Yuja raised his glasses and pointed at the back door with irritation.

“Someone wants to see you!”

Yuja was standing in front of him. The classroom was full of boys as usual, and O Shin was quietly staring at him. Myohan looked around, but none of it felt real. He looked down at his own palm for a long time, until Yuja asked,

“Are you sick or something?”