The Duke's Passion

"I would like to meet those people who had been supporting our clan." 

"Yes. I will arrange a meeting for that." Yul replied as we walked through the third prince's quarters. He stayed a few steps away from me while I kept my eyes ahead.

"Be careful around my personal maid," I warned, remembering the real identity of Lena. 

"You mean that little girl?" His voice was filled with bafflement, but it wasn't surprising, as Lena's disguise was flawless. "I forgot her name."

"Lena," I informed him, glancing over my shoulder. "She's one of Lexx's shadow guards. Be careful around her."

I couldn't blame Yul for being surprised. This palace was filled with secrets, and that had always been the game we've been playing. Just like Yul's identity, the identity of the king's shadow guards wasn't known to others aside from Stefan. It was just a matter of which secret was more surprising.

"How did you know that?" he asked, out of plain curiosity.

My eyes glanced around, and I couldn't feel anyone's presence. "The king and I had a history and scores to settle."

"What do you mean by that?"

"That's all you need to know right now." My eyes glinted as my memories settled in their proper time table.

I felt that Yul wanted to know more, but he didn't probe. Hence, we walked in silence until I arrived in the not well-maintained garden of the third prince palace's garden. 

"I need some time alone, Yul." I waved lightly, walking into the garden, and looked around. I heard Yul say, 'yes' before he left me alone.

As I stood in the middle of the garden, I gazed up at the sky. Thick clouds reigned the night sky tonight. It seemed it would pour tonight. 

"Fucking Cassara…" I sighed deeply, closing my eyes to rest. "… I don't know if I should thank her for this."

All the memories in my head were slowly taking their rightful spot, and I felt my head throb painfully. I bent down, plopping my butt down on the untrimmed grass before collapsing on my back. Staring at the dark sky smothered by thick clouds was the perfect representation of my mental state right now: clouded, dark, and ominous.

"I don't know what to think, honestly. Finding out my hatred to Lexx and what he did to me, my husband's motives for approaching me, and the responsibility my clan passed on to my shoulder for me to carry," I murmured, spreading my arms wide. There were so many things to think about.

"Fuck. Let's see." 

First off, not only Stefan erased my memories and made me a dumb fool, but he also sired me. The skit he pulled off in Cunningham was merely a show, as I had always been sired to him. It wasn't hard to guess the reasons behind his action. He just wanted a guarantee I would fucking accept his pathetic apology for abandoning me. 

"If not for Lara's help, I don't think I can fight off the power of sire," I muttered, thinking that Cassara's foolish actions had given me a clear advantage.

I nodded at the thought, as keeping Cassara alive for now was not that terrible. She would come in handy in the future.

"About Yul and the Bloodfang clan…" I took a deep breath as I mulled about it. My hand reached for Lakresha, putting it on my forehead.

"Lakresha, can I meet Lara?" I asked, but nothing.

Sam told us while training us that the bearers and their weapons needed a mutual understanding to use it to its full potential. It made me wonder if I had understood Lakresha. Did Lara really share the same will as my clan? Did they really want me to exterminate the entire La Crox clan?

Fighting for the throne would cause bloodshed. If one wanted to unify the kingdom, those who could pose a threat to the monarch must die. The reason Stefan's position as the king was never stable was because he let a lot of people live. 

It could be because of mercy, but I highly doubted that. Stefan probably didn't kill everyone because he was too weak before, and he had to take into consideration of other kingdoms that had been wanting to conquer this country. 

"Come to think of it, Lexx told me before he had many enemies. Sam is probably one of them, but who are the others?" I stared at the dark sky, thinking of who could pose a threat to the king's forces. 

All I could think of was another kingdom. If I was correct, it was probably one of the founding clans that left the Heart's Kingdom due to many reasons. 

'I'd rather just be an obsessed former lover who wants revenge than be someone important.' I thought, clicking my tongue in annoyance. 'No wonder Sam tried to get rid of the responsibility that others had been forcing on him.' 

My eyes softened as they narrowed as soon as I thought about my husband. I just figured out the answers he hadn't given me, and his reasons for approaching me. Honestly, I didn't know what to feel or think about it. 

Should I feel betrayed? Cheated? Should I abhor him for taking away my uneventful life to save his own skin? Above all, should I blame him for everything? If Sam didn't come to me, I would be probably withering away in the fields, but I wouldn't be in this position, at least.

'Who am I kidding? Lexx would surely return once he got his odds and ends together.' I muttered in my head, closing my eyes. 'I should just sleep tonight, and think about it tomorrow.'

My mind came into a blank state momentarily before I unconsciously mulled over everything again. My heightened hate slowly subsided upon giving it a second thought.

About Stefan, although I didn't think I could forgive him, all I could feel about him was nothing. I was more apathetic than I thought. 

About the Bloodfang, I would probably lose my mind for disobeying the entire clan's will they etched in my heart. So, I had to tread on thin ice, especially if a lot of people I didn't know about (just as Yul said), had put their stake on me. 

As for my husband… I had to clear my mind and settle my heart. There's only one thing that came into my mind with the thought of him.

"I had to talk to him first," I whispered and slowly opened my eyes when a drop of water dripped down on me before it started pouring heavily. I remained on my spot, not moving an inch as I got drenched in water. 

"Sam… help me."