The Forbidden Alpha

Adea

I stood in the shower with my head bowed as a river of water cascaded over me. Scorching, hot water heated my skin. My body warmed and the temperature in the bathroom rose. Facing the wall, the water washed down my body, cleansing me of outside thoughts. Four walls made up a safe place from my thoughts, fears, and worries. In here, I was able to focus on the feel of the water, the sound it made as it splashed against the floor.

I pushed my hands through my hair and lifted my face to the shower head. I sighed as heat hit untouched skin. I dropped my head back and enjoyed the sensation. I still hadn’t looked in a mirror, I knew it was bad and didn’t need confirmation. My body was healing slowly.

Ethan had been fussing over me and while I loved that he cared, it made me feel weak. I was thankful for him but needed to get back on my own feet. He tried to come in with me like he’d been doing the last couple of days. I assured him I was stronger and could handle washing.

Two days had healed the smaller cuts and bruises but I still had some severe wounds that had made progress towards healing. I turned the water off and the scorching pressure against my skin stopped. I’d woken early and spent an hour in the shower. I knew I wouldn’t be able to train today but I was determined not to miss it today.

Gabe and Leo had kept me company the last two days while Ethan had to leave for work. I was more than thankfully for the werewolf healing. If I’d been human, these injuries would have taken weeks maybe months. I couldn’t imagine being stuck in this room for that long. I was slowly becoming irritated, I wanted to get back out there on that field.

Flashbacks of my fight with Briana kept replaying in my mind, over and over again. Gabe and I had a heart-t0-heart in the middle of training, Leo had won and made his way over before it was my turn to spar. Briana was a top fighter and I wondered why she didn’t participate in the competition. It would have been a close call between Gabe, Leo, and Briana.

Ethan knocked on the door and I assured him I was fine. It was time to stop wallowing in the shower. I began scrubbing down my body and washing my hair. After I’d woken up in bed, bruised and hurting, Gabe had been there to confirm that I’d been knocked out. When I woke up later in the evening, Gabe was gone and Ethan had been angry. I knew it was understandable, coming home to a hurting mate would shock anyone.

Since then, I’d stayed in bed, ate, and bathed. Ethan wouldn’t let me leave, he said I needed to heal. Putting down the shower scrub, I ran my hands through my hair and rinsed the shampoo out. I washed off the soap from the rest of my body and enjoyed the last few minutes of hot water.

Electricity shot through my body at the thought of sparring with Briana again. I needed to sit in on training, even though I couldn’t participate right now. I couldn’t miss the opportunity to watch her train, if I could get a feel for how she fought, I might be able to spot her weaknesses and I could get a better understanding of how to beat her.

Defeating her was another stepping stone toward being confident in fighting against Shane. I hadn’t for a moment, let myself believe in the silence that followed Olivia’s death. He was still out there and defeating her was another sure way for me to prove to myself that I could stop history from repeating.

The images of being unable to fight him off made their rounds through my mind. I doubt I would ever forget the feeling of fear of knowing there was nothing I could do to free myself. My hands clenched into fists, I would make sure I did everything in my power to avoid being in that position again. If I had no choice but to be in that position again, I would make sure I wasn’t the same weak person. I wouldn’t go without a fight.

A chill went down my spine and tears started to blur my vision. I wasn’t going to cry, I batted my eyes quickly and ducked my head under the water. I wouldn’t cower under him, I wouldn’t let him win. Instead of discouraging me, it pushed me to be better, to be stronger.

Turning off the water, I stepped out of the shower and grabbed one of the towels I’d placed on the sink. Tenderly, I dried myself off before tugging on the black shorts and oversize v-neck sweater. The mirror was fogged up and I was thankful I didn’t have to see my black, blue, and yellow reflection. A part of me whispered that it didn’t matter how much I tried, I’d never be able to change anything but I ignored it.

I’ve been working hard to heal you.

I know, Kor. Thank you for your help.

You don’t look as bad as you think you do.

There’s nothing with not looking at myself.

I think there’s a deeper reason here, Adea.

Are you my therapist now?

I think we should talk more about Shane.

I don’t think we need to. I’ve thought about him enough, Kor.

My wolf huffed and I rolled my eyes. I grabbed a second towel from the sink and began drying my hair. Korra didn’t say anything else and I was thankful she didn’t. When I was satisfied with my hair, I dried my neck before brushing my hair. There was no use in trying to be pretty today, I put my hair into a tight low bun and flattened down my baby hair that tried to stick up in random places.. I threw the towels in the hamper and when I was ready, I opened the door and stepped out.