The Forbidden Alpha

Gabe

Dad. He said dad, his dad’s name is Odee. A four-syllable name, there are a lot of four-syllable names. In this pack? One that starts with an O? One that I had been screaming the past weekend? Oh, my Goddess. It could just be a coincidence. A coincidence? I almost snorted. I think not.

How could this have happened? When would this have happened? If this was what I thought it was… why didn’t I know? I didn’t know this whole time. No one told me anything. Why didn’t anyone tell me?!

I was sitting in a sinking ship in the middle of the ocean. The walls were caving in on me and the water was starting to seep in. My worries and thoughts were starting to fill the room. It was quickly rising and I wasn’t sure I could keep calm.

The day the rogues attacked and Ady had saved him. I remembered that day because I had been there too. I was there with her, I’d walked up to her while she held him. She’d been holding him that day. I’d see them, seen him, and hadn’t thought anything of it.

I also remember seeing Odis. He’d come in hurried and worried. He’d been looking around like a mad man. He only stopped to check on his luna because he’d been calling her his Luna even before the ceremony.

I remember thinking it was weird the way he’d searched Ady and the child for wounds. I figured it was because he was doing his duty. He wasn’t mated and wasn’t seeing anyone at the time so I never thought… I had brushed it off thinking the child was his little brother.

I couldn’t remember seeing the child’s face then. Even if I’d seen his eyes, would I have known? Or would I have thought it was a coincidence? Would I have even noticed that his eyes were a perfect replica of hers? How could I have dismissed her likeness? It was so obvious.

Still, I couldn’t grasp the reality of the situation. No matter how clear it was. Desperately, I was trying to hold onto the truth, and instead, it was spilling through my fingers.

Olivia, my Olivia, my mate had a child. Why hadn’t she told me? Wasn’t she a virgin? Wracking my brain, I flipped through the memory of our first time. She had told me I was her one and only.

I would have known, I should have known, I wouldn’t have… I wouldn’t have… did I see what I wanted to? Did I only feel what I wanted to feel? Did she only tell me what she wanted me to know? Did I only accept what she said without question?

She couldn’t have been… that had to mean she’d been with Odis. I knew he felt something towards her. I knew there was more there but I didn’t… I couldn’t have… When did they split up? Was it because of me? Did I ruin a family?

No. Stop. I’m getting ahead of myself. I won’t jump to conclusions. This wasn’t okay. Nothing would make this okay. Could anything make this okay? What would make keeping him a secret okay? What could make me okay with this? What could make me okay with the child?

Why did she keep this from me? Did she think I wouldn’t understand her? Did she think I wouldn’t want her if she had a child? Would it have mattered? I don’t know. I would have still wanted her. I would have been willing to… to work something out. Why wasn’t I included in this?

She was mine, in her last days, she’d been mine. Why? Why had she… Lies, she’d lied to me. Why? Why had she lied to me? I’ve been mourning my mate. I’ve missed her with every fiber of my being.

How well could I have known her if I hadn’t known about him? Had I even really known her? The thought causes a stab of pain in my chest and my throat to tighten. I was second-guessing my time with her, my relationship with her, and how much I really knew about her.

If I had a child out there I would have told her. She would have known from the start. I wouldn’t have kept anything from her. I didn’t have any secrets from her. I told her… I told her everything I thought was important to know.

Yet, she hadn’t done the same with me. I feel yet another sharp stab of pain in my chest. What did that say about me? How important could I have been if this was kept from me? don’t know what to fucking think.

The evidence of her lies sat across from me. What if she had a reason. My wolf pushed the whispered words past my thoughts and into my head. What reason would make this okay? Was there a reason that could make this anywhere close to okay?

No, there wasn’t. No reason would change the fact that she hid him from me. Nothing would make it okay for her to lie to me about something this serious. As her mate, I deserved to know if there was a piece of her out there in the world.

I should have known, I should have been told. With her gone from the world, he was all that was left of her. No, stop. I couldn’t go there. That wasn’t the only issue here. Odis was a whole other fucking issue that I wasn’t sure I could unpack today.

Without care, my mind stared into the abyss that was Odis. He had said we were a mistake and now, I understood why. He had a whole fucking life before I found her. Another stab to the chest had me feeling like my heart had split again. This was more complicated than I’d thought.. I was barely able to keep myself from diving into that issue.