The Forbidden Alpha

Odis

“I saw red. I didn’t bother listening to the excuses she tried to come up with. They were lies, all fucking lies. I found Rick-the-fucking-dick and I beat him within an inch of his life. When he left town she finally opened up to me. She told me about all of the things he did to her. It made me sick and for the longest time, I blamed myself for not doing anything in the beginning. The things he did to her, Gabe. It tore my heart out.”

“Things were hard for a while after because he fucked her up. I got her to start training and she grabbed onto it with her all. It made her feel like she had some control of her life. It felt like things were finally going to start getting normal or… as close to normal as they could.”

“I’d always known I couldn’t live without her but I wanted more. I knew she wanted to wait for her mate but for me, it was always her. I asked her to go steady anyway and she said yes. She let me have a piece of her I didn’t deserve. Shortly after, she told me she was pregnant and it wasn’t mine.”

“Why did she keep it from me? I’m her mate, shouldn’t I have been told?” Gabe asked.

“That first question in itself is a very long story but to cut it short, she didn’t want him. She couldn’t stand the sight of him and when it came to it, she didn’t want to parent him. I think she kept him a secret from you… because she wanted to keep that torturous part of her life hidden from you. I’m not saying it was okay but… I know why she did it.”

“As for why I didn’t tell you, it wasn’t my place to tell you because… there was nothing between us. The two of you were mates, I wasn’t your mate and I wasn’t her mate. If I had jumped in I would have come across as the crazy ex. You would have thought I was trying to come in between you two. Liv and I had already come to an agreement before you came into her life. Your presence didn’t change that agreement. She had no contact with him. Paul was mine and mine alone.”

Needing to be closer to him, I take a step closer. He’s got a distant look in his eye and I know he’s processing all of this information. I’m sure there was a better way to have this conversation and maybe if I’d taken the initiative to introduce him to Paul we could have done that.

***

Gabe

I don’t have to look at him to know he’s staring at me. Everything in me wants to reach out and touch him. My mind is reeling with everything he just told me. I thought I knew my mate but maybe I only knew what she showed me. I couldn’t ask her anything because she was gone and I couldn’t be mad at her. Did this make me love her any less? Definitely not.

“Are you okay?” Odis asked.

“What do you think?” I shot back. I was still angry at him. This didn’t change anything between us. This didn’t repair anything. I was still hurting because of him. I needed to run, I needed to get away from here. Odis stared at me with what I thought was longing but I couldn’t bring myself to believe it.

“Tell me what I can do to make this easier,” Odis whispers. He reaches out and caresses my arm. I ignore the goosebumps that spread up my arm.

“Nothing will make this easier. It’s just life,” I said as I batted his hand away. “I just need time to… I don’t know.”

“I wanted to say I’m sorry,” Odis said.

“About what, Odis?” I asked. “It didn’t look like you were sorry for anything this week.”

“I know… I… I was sure that I needed to think things through first. I’m sorry for how I treated you.”

“So now that you’ve said sorry do you think it makes everything better?” I asked.

He walks me back until I’m up against a tree. The rough bark scrapes my back and it stings but I don’t bat an eye at the pain. Saying sorry doesn’t fix everything. I glare at him as he leans down and presses a kiss to my chest. The sensation causes my skin to break out in tingles. I want nothing more than to give in to him. His hands slide down to my chest and he starts to pepper kisses.

“I know nothing I say will make it better,” Odis whispers. He lifts his head and looks me in the eye. “Let me show you how sorry I am. I… I’ll show you how sorry I am every day until you can forgive me. I don’t know what will happen but I want to be with you.”

My breath catches in my throat. My heart wants me to believe him and ride off into the sunset with him but my mind says differently. Life doesn’t work out that way and I can’t ignore the alarm bells going off. My mind is telling me I can’t let myself be stupid enough to believe he’s finally saying what I’ve been wanting to hear.

Putting distance between us, I take a step back holding eye contact with him. The look he’s giving me almost deters me from what I’m about to do. I can’t think straight when he’s touching me.

It’s not as easy as saying I don’t want the kid and he’s not yours anymore. Paul is Olivia’s and I can’t ignore that. As much as I’ve been wanting what he’s willing to give me now I can’t. I can’t let myself think with my dick right now.

“You want me to believe you but how do I know you’re not just saying this because of how you’re feeling? How do I know you’re not just going to change your mind like last time?”

“I’m here… asking you for more.”

“Us being together like that was you asking me for more. It wasn’t just physical between us and I thought we were on the same page. I gave you what was left of my heart and you shattered it. I’m not going to lie, I want to believe you. Hell, I want you but I’m not going to be let myself believe you want me all of a sudden.”

“Let me show you-” Odis starts but I cut him off. I can’t listen to him anymore or I’ll change my mind.

“I don’t trust you.”

“Gabe, please,” Odis begs.

“Where was this version of you when you took me every way you wanted? It hasn’t even been that fucking long and you want me to believe you’ve done a full 360?” I ask, shaking my head.

“I-I wasn’t sure…,” Odis said.

“You’re going to have to show me with your actions that you mean what you say. I can’t just take what you’re saying and believe it after the way you’ve treated me. You’re going to have to prove it to me because I can’t trust you.”

It hurt me to deny him but I was done being played with. Turning from him, I shift and run.. From behind me, I swear I hear him say he’s going to prove it to me.