Episode 97 – idiot

“Haha, that’s really a terrible story, isn’t it?”

After finishing her story, senpai was in a state of weakness and had her back to the bed. Her tone of voice had returned to its usual stilted one.
What was at the end of Senpai’s long and drawn-out talk was not retrospection, but regret.

“And the woman who did that, and then appeared before you so shamelessly, is the woman you see before you now.”

Senpai laughed self-deprecatingly and then looked out the window without effort.

“In the end, I only think about myself, and I am not at all the attractive girl Nagi kun thinks I am, but a coward and an ordinary person.”

Senpai smiles with a lonely look on her face.
senpai who speaks with a pained look on her face, as if she has come to a conclusion that has been reached at the end of a helpless struggle or anguish.

What are the eyes of senpai looking at?
Is it the person I was in the past when I thought I was pathetic, or is it the person I am unable to change?

I didn’t know which one it was.

–both of which were Senpai who should not have existed.

“What made you decide to become a Vtuber, Senpai?”
“Ehh?”

Senpai looked at me strangely, as if she couldn’t see my intention in my sudden question.
So I asked again.

“Why did you decide to become a Vtuber?”
“Why”

However, Senpai may have had her own thoughts on the blunt question, and replied in a tone of voice that did not conceal her anger.

“Of course it was because I wanted to be special. I wanted to be different. I just couldn’t accept the idea of just getting a normal job and living a normal life like everyone else.”

She is back to her sharp tone again. It is not that one of them is a genuine one and one of them is a made-up one, but both of them are Senpai’s tone.

“Living a normal life, having a normal family…At the alumni association, I was told, [You’re surprisingly living a normal life, too.] I didn’t want to imagine a future like that!!”

Senpai had spent her days with such high expectations and pressures.
She was so outstanding looking and had such outstanding talent that she would be disappointed and surprised just by leading a normal life.

So I felt as if what Senpai was saying was what she really meant, and that it was a feeling created by others.
And I hated more than anything that senpai kept getting caught up in that.

“Senpai, you shouldn’t make a fool out of yourself so much.”

I reply with a thorn in my voice to match my senpai’s tone.
Maybe. I think this was the first time I had ever responded to senpai in this tone of voice.

“Fool…?.”

My reaction, which I would not have expected, makes even senpai ask me back.

“There’s no way you’re normal, is there?”
“What?”

In a strong tone of voice, I denied that Senpai was normal.

“Nagi kun, did you hear what I said earlier?”
“I did listen. That’s why I said it’s not normal.”
“Hey”

Senpai’s eyes were no longer looking outside, but straight at me.
I was honestly very scared, though, because of the anger that was lit in her eyes.

But I still had to deny that Senpai was mistaken.

“Normal people give up thinking, [I’m so normal~]”‘
“So I’m convinced I’m normal, too.”
“How can someone who is convinced that she is normal want to be a Vtuber?”
“Like I said! That’s…”
“Are you stupid, senpai?!”
“S-Stupid?”

I was so mad that I used the word “idiot” for senpai. This is the kind of thing that will make her angry after all is said and done.

But Senpai’s head was so stiff that I wanted to use that much language.
She didn’t want to admit to herself that she was normal, but she seemed to be trying to force herself to believe that she was normal.

Such Senpai is, to put it bluntly, idiot.

“First of all, don’t you understand that it is not normal to be a Vtuber?! It is a chosen profession that ordinary, average people cannot become!”
“—?!”

It is not that becoming a Vtuber elevates you to a special person, but rather that a person who is special from the beginning will enter the profession.
It is not a job where anyone can become a Vtuber if they want to, and despite appearances, it should be a serious one.

“And then—-!”
“Wait, Nagi kun! They told me to not move your body too much.”

When I moved my body so much that I was overheated, my whole body creaked and ached.

Seeing me like this, senpai supports my body with her hand on my back.

“Next! I’ve known for a long time that senpai is selfish!!”

And secondly. I’ve known ever since I met her that Senpai was selfish, egotistical, and slow-paced.

“She falls asleep on her own while I’m talking to her! She touches my hair even when I tell her not to! She never says anything that’s inconvenient, but on the contrary, she digs up everything that’s inconvenient for me!”
“Wait, Nagi kun? that much. ……”
“-and more importantly, she makes me fall in love with her without my permission even though I don’t want to fall in love with her!!.”
“Nagi kun?!”

I told her what I had wanted to say for a long time, what I had wanted to complain to senpai, and I told her right in front of her.
I let it all out so fast that I was out of breath, and then I slowly continued.

“Senpai was still attractive, and for me at the time, I was nothing more than an admirer. …… So.”

I finally understood why I was so angry.

“Don’t be so …… self-deprecating.”

Not only senpai, but also me, because senpai has given me a sparkle in my daily life.
It’s not a one-way relationship, and I wanted her to know that.

“Nagi kun….”

Senpai had tears full in her eyes, and she endured the leaks by biting her lip.

I still think such off-the-wall thoughts that it doesn’t look good for senpai to be mucking up her face.

Not long after that, Senpai came to my lap.

“…………!!”

It was like our positions had somehow reversed.
I gently stroked her hair and wrapped her head lightly in the futon as if I was comforting a senpai.

“————-Uaaaaaa!!!!”

With a muffled voice, the curtains fluttered in the gentle breeze.

(TL/N : It’s been too long since I’ve updated this WN, is there someone who still read this one? XD)