The Hated Male Concubine

“What’s wrong with you? Did you see a ghost?” 

Jamun, who was anxiously waiting for Seocheon to return, asked in surprise when he saw Seocheon’s pale and blank face. Seocheon shook his head while still looking in a daze. 

“No. It’s nothing…” 

“What do you mean nothing, your face is a total mess!” 

“No, I’m fine. There was nothing.” 

Jamun wanted to ask more about what had happened inside when he saw Seocheon walking back to his post without even looking at him, but Seocheon, who had his mouth closed with a stiff face, looked as if he had nothing more to say. Thinking that maybe there was really no big problem because he came back safely, Jamun gradually pushed out the sleep that was coming in and looked forward. 

Seocheon also took a slow and deep breath while looking ahead. His heart, which had yet to calm down, was beating as if it would bounce out at any moment. He really couldn’t understand what he just saw. 

It must be a coincidence. He had no choice but to think so. There was no other explanation than coincidence for Yeonbin’s way of sheathing the sword in the exact same stance as Hawoon. Maybe that was not Yeonbin’s unique stance. It was also possible that the sword that had just been sheathed by chance happened to be sheathed in a similar way to the way Hawoon was holding it. Anyway, what Seocheon just saw should have no significant meaning.

Nevertheless, Seocheon clenched his fists tightly at the chilling sensation that kept running down his back. His intuition, all the alert senses, seemed to be calling out that it was not such a simple thing. Did he go crazy because he was so obsessed with Hawoon’s death? Even though he opened his eyes straight, many things were blurry like an illusion. The image of Yeonbin standing under the moonlight, which he encountered a while ago, came back to mind. 

Why was he so surprised? Was he confused? In my case, it was because Hawoon’s appearance suddenly overlapped, but why did Yeonbin look so startled when he saw me? In addition, it was not understandable that he tried to cover me up by lying to So Jeong. Was it only because he’s a kind person now? So he just didn’t want to see me getting punished? 

He could have done as much as he could to dismiss it as a coincidence, a nothing. There was no conclusive evidence to drive a wedge in the doubt. No, Seocheon didn’t even know what he was assuming in the first place. 

“It’s just a coincidence… If it’s not a coincidence, then…” 

Seocheon murmured while looking far away at the darkness. He decided that the absurd assumption that kept coming into his head was nonsense, and everything had to be just a coincidence.

***

“You will be nothing to His Majesty.”

When Yeon Hwawoon first heard it, he didn’t take it deeply. Yeon Hwawoon was not the one to blink at the curses from a young court lady covered in blood from her back to her buttocks after being mercilessly beaten. She would probably die soon, and even if she did not, she would be taken to the Temple of Punishment and end her life there. It was a punishment for daring to attract the emperor’s attention with her pretty face. 

Although the emperor said he had never looked at that court lady, Yeon Hwawoon did not believe it. If he hadn’t looked at her, why would he have taken the side of that lowly thing in front of him? It didn’t matter even if it was true. Anyway, Yeon Hwawoon was already offended by it, and a servant that offended her master deserved to die. 

The young court lady said again to Yeon Hwawoon, who felt no guilt even after seeing her dying fragile body. 

“You will remain a man who is slowly forgotten and can’t even get the hate from His Majesty…” 

“This dying thing still dares to speak, huh.” 

“Your father will also come down from his position someday, and when that happens, do you think His Majesty will remember your evil name?” 

There was no such mutiny. Yeon Hwawoon could immediately kill this young court lady and all her family members here if he made up his mind. Nevertheless, the young court lady spewed out curses with a face ruined by sweat, tears, and blood as if she had nothing more to fear.

“You will be nothing to the emperor you love so much, you will be shunned for the rest of your life, and ultimately, he will not even remember that there was a concubine named you. You will die without leaving your name…!” 

A slapping sound rang. The blood of that young court lady got on Yeon Hwawoon’s palm. Yeon Hwawoon did not care and slapped the court lady on the cheek again. Blood splattered on the floor. The courtiers of Jeongan did not dare to raise their heads, and the eunuchs who were holding the young court lady barely managed to swallow the tears that were about to burst. 

“It’s obvious that you wench shook your tails to win over His Majesty. Let’s see if you can be so confident at the punishment place.” 

When Yeon Hwawoon gestured with his eyes, the eunuchs hurriedly dragged the body of the court lady who had almost lost her consciousness, just in case she would get harassed more here. Yeon Hwawoon looked at the ground, which was dirty with blood, and soon turned around. 

Only Yeon Hwawoon himself knew whether the curses of the court lady, who said that he would be forgotten by the emperor, would remain in Yeon Hwawoon’s heart or not. 

***

“Your… Your Majesty…” 

“Your Highness! Are you okay?” 

Hwawoon felt his senses slowly return at the touch of someone wiping his face. It was not easy to lift an eyelid because his whole body was so heavy. Hwawoon finally was able to open his eyes only after the soft cloth wiped around his eyes once more. He could see Ahjin’s teary face through a blurred vision.

“Your Highness, this is Ahjin.” 

“Ahjin… What happened…” 

“You’ve been having nightmares all night. And you’re sweating so much…” 

Hwawoon slowly blinked at Ahjin’s answer and let out a long breath. He felt like his body was hot, yet it was strangely cold. He couldn’t remember if he really had a nightmare, but he did feel that he wasn’t feeling well. It seemed that he was surprised to encounter Seocheon yesterday. Hwawoon didn’t want to think that he was sick because he swung the sword a few times poorly. Ahjin continued. 

“I’ve already informed the Empress Palace, and the Empress said you don’t have to come to do morning greetings, so don’t worry and lie down a little longer. I’ll tell the others to prepare porridge.” 

Even though the Empress had been very generous with him, it had always bothered him that he couldn’t fulfill his duties for one reason or another. However, at this moment, Hwawoon was so tired that he just nodded and closed his eyes again. The guilt that he had only been keeping in his mind since the moment he opened his eyes in Yeon Hwawoon’s body felt like it was making his breath more and more difficult.

At this moment, Hwawoon had nothing to pay for the sin he was committing except to punish himself. Therefore, Hwawoon berated himself more harshly every time he smiled happily. An invisible part of Hwawoon’s heart was slowly crumbling away. 

He curled up, pulling the blanket a little more. Seocheon, who was looking at him with a confused expression, came to mind and disappeared. Why was he looking at me like that? An emotion, which he couldn’t tell if it was anxiety or something, ran wildly. Hwawoon hurriedly erased Seocheon’s face. Hwawoon was too tired to think of such things now. 

This time, he remembered the face of the emperor who said, “Even if your hands were big, rough, or whatever you looked like, I wouldn’t hate to see you.” 

Would it have been less difficult if His Majesty had turned away and shunned me like the first time? 

Thinking of the futile thoughts, Hwawoon drifted into a consciousness that grew heavier and heavier. The most unbearable thing was his selfish heart didn’t want to miss the warm face that His Majesty showed him despite having such overwhelming guilt. 

***

“Is that true?” 

“Yes, Your Majesty. Someone has been to the Empress Palace.” 

The emperor, who came out after the morning inquiry, heard that Yeonbin was not feeling well and could not go to the Empress Palace for the morning greetings today. Considering how polite Yeonbin had been to the empress recently, it was clear that he was really not feeling well. 

“Really, I can’t relax even for a moment..”

The emperor’s voice sounded angry. As the emperor took a quick step, Eunuch Oh gestured urgently and called the palanquin, which was standing in waiting. The emperor climbed to the palanquin as if he were running, and before he could give any order, Eunuch Oh shouted. 

“Let’s go to Jeongan Palace!” 

He could see the emperor’s fingertips turned pale as he gripped the handrest of the palanquin. Eunuch Oh quickly walked along the palanquin, pondering about the Empress’s intention to send someone to tell the emperor that Yeonbin was sick.