The Hated Male Concubine

#121 

Hwawoon felt like dying in his own way. It was embarrassing enough to think of the feelings he had in the dream every night, but when the emperor talked about what happened that day, he felt dizzy. The emperor came in person, worrying him, even though he was busy, but he was immersed in vain desire and had such a dream. Hwawoon couldn’t face the emperor because of that. As Hwawoon didn’t answer him and hesitated, Yihan became even sadder.

“Are you sure you don’t remember a thing?” 

“That… I dimly remember that I opened my eyes for a moment and saw you…”

“Is that all? You don’t remember anything else?” 

“… Yes, Your Majesty. Did I make any mistakes…”

“Ho…” 

Yihan exhaled in frustration at the answer, which didn’t change no matter how many times he asked. While he thought it might be better for Hwawoon to not remember that the emperor did something to satisfy his desire against a sick person, he felt strangely sad and upset. 

“No. You immediately lost your consciousness again, so would you have the chance to make a mistake?” 

“Thank you very much for taking care of me, who is weak and often sick.” 

“Yes. Yes…”

The emperor’s voice was lifeless as he answered. Hwawoon couldn’t understand the reason for this. 

***

Yihan had his lunch with Hwawoon at Seojeong Palace. It was the first time that he had a meal sitting face to face with Hwawoon after their relationship changed. Although Hwawoon’s inability to remember a single significant event made Yihan somewhat sad, eating together face to face with him felt so good that it seemed to take away all his sadness. With all the courtiers away, it felt special to eat alone with Hwawoon. It was something unusual in the Imperial Palace, where numerous laws exist everywhere. 

The time when they talked quietly about small things and ate could be said to be nothing, but Yihan felt that all the tiredness that weighed on him disappeared during that time. The things he had to deal with or the things he was worried about didn’t come to his mind at all at that time. As a result, he left Seojeong Palace feeling refreshed, but,

“What brought Sukbi and Jeongbin here?” 

Yihan asked, looking down at the two concubines who were greeting him from the palanquin. Yihan was still in front of Seojeong Palace. Jeongbin answered first in a light voice. 

“We were on the way to see Yeonbin!” 

“Yeonbin?” 

“Yes, Your Majesty. We’re going to look around Myeonghawon with Yeonbin.”

Why would you look around Myeonghawon? Why would Yeonbin do that with you? Yihan’s lips twitched. Seeing the emperor’s questioning expression, Sukbi began to explain in more detail. 

“Yeonbin has lost his memory, so it must be his first time in Myeonghawon. That’s why we’re here for a walk and to show him around Myeonghawon, Your Majesty.” 

“Oh…” 

Yihan frowned when he heard Sukbi’s explanation. She was right. He felt resentful of himself for not thinking of this sooner.

“So… that’s why you’re going to invite him for a walk.” 

“Yes, Your Majesty.” 

“I see… Yeonbin’s body is not fully recovered yet, so don’t overdo it.” 

“I’ll keep that in mind. Your Majesty.” 

Still, what could he do? He couldn’t tell the two people who were already here to go back because he would show him around later. Yihan tried to hide his agitated self and turned his head. The palanquin began to move, and after Sukbi and Jeongbin were out of sight, Yihan spoke grumpily to Eunuch Oh.

“Shouldn’t you tell me in advance that Myeonghawon would be unfamiliar to Yeonbin?” 

Eunuch Oh couldn’t refute the emperor.

***

“Your Highness, please wait a minute.” 

So Jeong stopped Hwawoon who was about to leave when he heard from Sukbi and Jeongbin that they were waiting in front of Seojeong Palace. Hwawoon and Ahjin turned around and saw the shoes that So Jeong was holding out to them. So Jeong said to Hwawoon who looked confused.

“Even if you ride a palanquin, you will definitely have to walk to look around the garden. If you change to these shoes, your feet will be more comfortable.” 

Ahjin, who was standing next to Hwawoon, let out a short exclamation. The shoes So Jeong was holding were not much different in shape from the ones Hwawoon was wearing, but they were shoes with a slightly fluffy insole. Realizing this, Ahjin controlled her expression and tried not to pout. She was upset that she wasn’t the first to think about it, but the conversation she had with Seoseo a while ago was still fresh in her mind.

“Thank you, So Jeong.”

Hwawoon smiled softly at the small attitude from So Jeong, who cared about the unexpected thing. He felt relieved that the person, who trembled and couldn’t speak properly when he first came to Jeongan Palace, seemed to be much more comfortable now. When So Jeong placed the shoes at Hwawoon’s feet, Ahjin held Hwawoon’s arm and helped him to keep his balance. It was So Jeong’s duty to take off Hwawoon’s shoes and put on the new pair. Ahjin quietly looked down at So Jeong, who was crouching in front of Hwawoon.

At first, she didn’t like his weakness and tactlessness, showing his fear in front of their master because he couldn’t control his feelings. However, since he became a member of Jeongan Palace, it was her duty to help him to adapt well so that he could take care of their master, but Ahjin continued to give So Jeong a hard time. 

She didn’t want to admit it, but as Seoseo said, Ahjin was jealous of him. She had been occupying the closest place to Yeonbin alone, but she had to share that position with someone who suddenly came over. It made her feel uncomfortable and unfair. In retrospect, it was a ridiculous story. It was unreasonable of her to think about monopolizing her master’s side. 

Moreover, if So Jeong could think of things that she hadn’t thought of, it would make it easier for their master, who was physically weak, so it was a benefit in any case, except for her feelings. 

“Then I’ll be back.” 

Hwawoon, who had changed into more comfortable shoes, talked to So Jeong and moved. He wanted to go for a walk, this time accompanied only by Ahjin. Ahjin, who was following Hwawoon, suddenly stopped and said to So Jeong.

“Good job.” 

“… What?” 

“I couldn’t think of it, but thanks to you, His Highness can go around a little more comfortably, so good job.” 

It was a very irritated voice, but it was clearly a compliment. For a servant, nothing was more important than serving their master well, so Ahjin decided to quickly shake off her private and childish feelings. So Jeong, who was surprised by Ahjin’s unexpected words and couldn’t speak for a while, soon came to his senses and opened his mouth. 

“Thank you, Miss Ahjin. I’m still lacking in your eyes, but I’ll try harder to help His Highness, so please take care of me.” 

So Jeong probably knew that Ahjin didn’t like him, but he answered that he would work harder. Ahjin, feeling awkward for no reason, followed Hwawoon without adding any words. So Jeong, who was left alone, watched Hwawoon and Ahjin getting further away for a long time.

***

As Sukbi, Jeongbin, and Yeonbin, who were looking around Wolsangwon, the most beautiful garden in Myeonghawon, sat down at the pavilion, Sukbi’s court ladies, who were following them, quickly spread out the snacks they brought on the table. Sitting at a perfectly set table, complete with cold water and tea, Hwawoon contemplated his life, which had suddenly become so different. 

A life where he didn’t have to worry about living, where he could take a walk in such a beautiful place, where someone else would take care of him, and when he sat down tired from walking a refreshment table would be set up right in front of him. He thought he was used to it by now, but it was inevitable that he would feel strange whenever he realized that he was thrown into a very different life through death.

“Yeonbin.” 

Biyoung carefully called his name, waking up Hwawoon from his deep thoughts. When Hwawoon looked up and met her eyes, Biyoung spoke with an unreadable expression.

“How is… your wound?”

“Oh…” 

Hwawoon blinked without answering the unexpected question. He finally saw the concern in the expression, which he thought was unreadable. She asked about his wound, but what Biyoung asked was definitely about his scar. The wound still left a deep mark. According to the doctor, it would be difficult to erase it forever. But Hwawoon didn’t care about the scar at all.

For Hwawoon, the scar was something he was familiar with from another life. It might be a big deal for those who were born and raised as children of precious families, but it was not even a matter of concern for the current Hwawoon. Hwawoon only guessed that it was a serious matter for those high-ranking people when he saw how Ahjin was upset, as if she would cry whenever she applied medicine to her wound.