The Hated Male Concubine

#145

The lengthy, cumbersome garment soaked through and weighed him down. The sudden shock made it impossible for him to control his breathing, causing water to rush into his nose and mouth, and every effort he made to clear his choked lungs was rewarded with greater pain. It was unseasonably cold. He just couldn’t tell if it was because the water was cold or because his heart was frozen.

His instincts to stay alive were stronger than he had thought, causing him to flail his limbs. However, the strength of his limbs, which were weak from the start, could not push his skinny body above the water. Chaos, where light and dark were indistinguishable, swirled around him, clothed in the garb of death.

As he grew out of breath and disoriented, his mind became increasingly calm. Is death really fair to anybody? Is it possible to hide behind death as a shield and gain cheap sympathy, no matter what kind of life you’ve lived? Is it possible to leave a trace in someone’s heart forever, with all of your past misdeeds erased, and with only a terrible feeling of guilt remaining?

When he was gradually losing his consciousness in a vague mix of terror and elation, fear and anticipation.

A hand reached out from the light and pulled him up.

***

“It’s, it’s him! Capture him!”

A shout reached Seocheon’s ears as he stopped for a moment while he was trying to pull Hwawoon out of the pond. In an instant, a group of guards with torches surrounded him, and some of them rushed ahead and pulled the unconscious Hwawoon out of the pond instead.

“Your Highness! Your Highness, are you okay? Quick! Hurry up and call the doctor!”

So Jeong’s strangled cry caused Seojeong Palace to light up, and the courtiers ran out of their quarters. All of them approached, wondering what was going on, and cried out in alarm when they saw Hwawoon, drenched in water and unconscious.

“Let me go! I was only trying to save His Highness Yeonbin!”

In the meantime, the guards, acting on So Jeong’s orders, attempted to seize Seocheon, but he strongly resisted their attempts and shouted. So Jeong, his eyes turned sharp, refused to give in and said,

“I saw it with my own two eyes that you’re keeping His Highness from getting out of the water. What are you guys doing? Tie him up right away!”

The sudden disturbance in the middle of the night had everyone shaken up. With their master losing consciousness and Ahjin absent, no one could ignore what So Jeong, the head eunuch, had said. The guards didn’t seem to hesitate long, and they quickly surrounded Seocheon and pinned him to the ground. So Jeong gave him a death glare, but his immediate concern was for Hwawoon’s safety. Hastily scooping Hwawoon into his arms, he turned to the court ladies, who were already on the verge of tears.

“You must report this to the Emperor and Empress at once. Quickly! And put that sinner to kneel in front of His Highness’s bedroom until the next order.”

After he finished speaking, So Jeong ran into the palace with Hwawoon in his arms. Meanwhile, Seocheon’s eyes sank deeply as he stared at So Jeong’s back.

***

It was literally a nightmare. The Emperor and Empress were seated in the brightly lit bedroom of Seojeong Palace.

Yihan’s face was pale as if he had been in and out of water. No one could imagine how Yihan felt when he suddenly heard that Hwawoon had fallen into the pond while he was staying up late attending to national affairs. Yihan staggered out of his seat and approached the eunuch who brought the news, grabbing him by the collar, causing Eunuch Oh to freak out.

Yihan felt dizzy because whenever he asked for the details, the eunuch kept repeating that he didn’t know much because he rushed there immediately without watching the situation. Yihan suddenly recalled when he was told that Yeonbin fell into the pond in the past, but what he felt now was completely different from that time. Yihan felt a tremendous sense of fear as the sky seemed to fall and the earth sunk.

He was afraid that he had missed something. He was afraid he hadn’t been considerate of Hwawoon’s feelings because he was so caught up in the emotion he felt for the first time. He was uncontrollably afraid that all of that had led Hwawoon to jump into the pond of his own volition. He knew that he over-thought, but on the way to Seojeong Palace, the Emperor, his hands curled into fists strongly, fought against his anxiety that kept growing in size. 

He had never realized before that the emotion of love is inherently associated with so many fears.

After hearing the doctor’s assurance that the situation was fortunately not life-threatening, Yihan, whose legs had given out, slumped back in his chair and breathed heavily. He then turned to So Jeong, the head eunuch of Seojeong Palace, who was kneeling in front of him.

“So you’re saying there was someone else who pushed Yeonbin into the pond?”

So Jeong lowered his head, his face full of resolution.

“Yes, Your Majesty. I clearly saw that person push His Highness Yeonbin, who was trying to get out, back into the water. I… I shouldn’t have left His Highness alone… Everything is my fault. Your Majesty, please kill me!”

Behind the tearful and simmering So Jeong was Ahjin. She had dashed out upon belatedly receiving the news and joined So Jeong on her knees, letting out a faint cry. She scolded herself for neglecting her health, which had rendered her unable to properly assist her master. The realization that her condition had contributed to her master’s accident filled her with self-blame. Meanwhile, Yihan, his eyes alternating between So Jeong and Ahjin, motioned to the door’s guards. He signaled for them to bring in the person So Jeong had identified as the culprit.

“…”

Upon seeing the face of the guard, who entered the room, Eunuch Oh bit his lip for a moment. He was familiar with that face. Yihan stared at the face of the man who kneeled without a word. The Emperor was having a hard time controlling his emotion that was trying to act out like an insane person. He knew in his head that he shouldn’t, but when he looked at Hwawoon, who was blue and barely breathing, the urge to punish everyone in Seojeong Palace rose like wildfire.

He didn’t care if Yeonbin fell into the pond by mistake or if it was really someone else’s plot. It held no weight, not even if Yeonbin had taken the plunge voluntarily. All of the people in Seojeong Palace had the duty to protect and assist their master. They were truly at fault that their master had suffered through such a fate. It was a thought that hadn’t occurred to him the last time Hwawoon had fallen into the pond.

While Yihan was only taking deep breaths as he couldn’t easily calm himself, Jaran, who watched him, opened her mouth and spoke to Seocheon first.

“Eunuch So here has proclaimed you’re the culprit who pushed Yeonbin. Is that true?” 

“It’s not true, Your Majesty. This person only found His Highness Yeonbin drowning and tried to save him, not the other way around.”

Jaran stared into the face of the guard, who answered immediately without a moment of hesitation. He didn’t seem too flustered or frightened, even though he could have been beheaded at any moment. Even if he were truly innocent, it would be difficult for a guard, especially one from the common people, to keep his composure if he were interrogated in the presence of the Emperor. The overly calm demeanor really stood out. Jaran continued.

“Then how did you know that Yeonbin was drowning?”

“I was out on patrol with my fellow guard, Jamun, when I saw and walked past His Highness standing alone by the pond. Not long after, I heard the sound of something falling into the water. I thought it was weird, so I went back to the pond and found His Highness Yeonbin.”

“Is Jamun out there?”

After listening to Seocheon’s answer, Jaran looked up and asked. Soon after, a guard with a pale face entered the room and kneeled down.

“I, I… am a guard in charge of protecting Seojeong Palace. My… my name is Jamun. Greetings, Your Majesties.”

“Tell everything that you have seen and heard concerning this matter.”

Under the Empress’s command, Jamun found it hard to catch his breath. The unforeseen incident was a challenge in itself, but being in such close proximity to the Emperor for the first time had him struggling to suppress his nervous tremors. Moreover, the Emperor’s gaze was akin to that of a predator closing in for the kill. Jamun felt like he was a deer in front of a tiger.

Jamun replied, his trembling arms hardly gripping the floor and his head bowed.

“This person… this person was on a patrol with… with Seocheon here… Then… Suddenly Seocheon said there was a sound and turned around… This person… This person knows nothing but that, Your Majesty.” 

“Did you not see Yeonbin on your patrol?”

“I-I saw him. His Highness Yeonbin was… standing alone by the pond.”

It was when Jamun answered that.

“Then.”