The Hated Male Concubine

#150

It was Seocheon who turned his head in surprise. As the one who had been framed, Seocheon had indeed suspected So Jeong, but he had never expected Hwawoon to ask him directly and with such conviction. If Hwawoon already knew, So Jeong had to be apprehended and executed immediately. However, even though Hwawoon realized that So Jeong had tried to kill him, he had protected him that day and left him unharmed until now. It was difficult for Seocheon to comprehend. However, Hwawoon’s eyes were fixed solely on So Jeong, as if Seocheon’s confusion were not important at this moment.

“So you already knew, Your Highness.”

So Jeong said while casually smoothing out the crumpled hem of the garment on his lap. He looked as if he had already anticipated this moment. Hwawoon nodded.

“It was dark, and your movements were swift, but I was lucky enough to see that the man who pushed me was wearing the clothes of a eunuch. I guessed the rest, but as expected, it was you.”

“Yes, Your Highness. I was careless that day, believing that you were going to have your last moment that day.”

“Watch, watch your mouth.”

Seocheon muttered reflexively. No one could tell whether it was out of a sense of responsibility as a guard, or because he was really worried about Yeon Hwawoon.

“… It’s okay, Seocheon. It’s okay.”

Hwawoon, however, stopped Seocheon with such a soft and calm voice. His voice calling Seocheon was natural and warm, as if he was calling a close friend. Seocehon sucked in a breath, he felt his heart was being squeezed. It couldn’t be true, it couldn’t be happening. The thoughts he’d endlessly pushed away became a storm again, raging through his mind.

Hwawoon turned to look at So Jeong again.

“Now, will you answer me? You said you’ve never met me… So, why did you want to kill me?”

“… Your Highness. Do you remember the name Yeocheong?”

“Yeocheong…”

“Of course you don’t, because you said you’ve lost your memory. That girl is probably wandering the nether world right now, alone and sad, but since you’ve forgotten that there ever was such a girl, you must have had a very restful night.”

Hwawoon rolled the name on the tip of his tongue several times. No matter how many times he thought about it, he couldn’t remember the name. So Jeong let out a self-deprecating laugh and then continued.

“Then I’ll tell you about her, Your Highness Yeonbin. She was a court lady who served you in Jeongan Palace.”

“…”

“And that girl is… She is my…”

A lump suddenly formed in his throat, and So Jeong closed his mouth for a moment, unable to continue. Nevertheless, Hwawoon seemed to know what he was trying to say.

The women in the Imperial Palace were the emperor’s women. It didn’t matter whether they had been bestowed with the Emperor’s favor or not. Every single one of them, even the lowest-ranking court lady, could enter the emperor’s bedchamber whenever the Emperor wished, and according to the law, they shouldn’t get to know any man.

Then, what about the eunuchs of the Imperial Palace? They were not men, and it was only because they were not men that they were allowed to stay in the palace and serve the concubines.

However, just as things in the world don’t always go according to plan, so did matters in the Imperial Palace. Most of the court ladies hadn’t even glimpsed the Emperor’s face properly, let alone received his favor. The eunuchs often spent their nights in solitude, unable to create families with whom they could spend their lives. It was perhaps more natural than anything else that they formed emotional connections and leaned on each other amidst the bleak and lengthy palace life.

Therefore, in the Imperial Palace, it was not uncommon for a court lady and a eunuch to fall for each other. It constituted a felony according to the rules, but as long as they were not caught in the act, their superiors would often pity their loneliness and look the other way.

Hwawoon could easily discern from the desperation in So Jeong’s voice that he and a court lady named Yeocheong were in such a relationship. A thought crossed his mind that if it had been the Yeon Hwawoon of the past, he would likely have never let such a matter slide so easily. Just at that moment, So Jeong took a deep breath to regain control over his overwhelming emotions and continued.

“But one day, you tied her up outside and whipped her until her entire body was torn because you alleged that His Majesty had favored her with his gaze.”

“Oh…”

“Even though His Majesty himself said he never gazed at her and had no interest in her, you didn’t forgive her till the end, Your Highness.”

Hwawoon shut his eyes tight. He’d been suspecting that there was a grudge between them when he had realized that So Jeong had tried to kill him, but hearing the story in person was suffocating. With a strange smile on his face, as if he were delirious, So Jeong spoke.

“Without receiving proper medical treatment and being covered in blood, Yeocheong was taken to the execution place and died a miserable death on a pile of dirty straw. Your Highness, do you know what her last moment was like?”

“…”

“It was said that her entire body was so covered in scars that it was difficult to look at her. I didn’t even have the chance to see her like that. By the time I heard the news, her body had already been discarded and couldn’t be retrieved.”

Seocheon also clenched his fists tightly, unable to bear to listen. He was thinking of Hawoon at that time, in his final moments, soaked in water, blood, and cold. If Hawoon’s body had been dumped in an unknown place and couldn’t be recovered, Seocheon knew he wouldn’t have been able to bear it.

“I thought that if there was a heaven, it would punish you. With so much blood on your hands, you would never be able to live in peace. Thus, I held on and held on, thinking that after I had seen with my own eyes the miserable end of you, I would follow that girl and tell her everything I had seen.”

Yeocheong had always treated So Jeong, who was often looked down upon due to his perceived shortcomings as a man, with warmth and affection. To So Jeong, who had difficulty adapting because he was naturally shy, Yeocheong was his sole refuge, his unwavering support, and the person he was willing to risk his life to make happy.

“… That’s why it shouldn’t be like this. Your Highness, you shouldn’t have lost your memories. You shouldn’t have forgotten all those girls who died at your hands. How could you change into such a kind and compassionate person? How could you… how dare you!”

The tears he’d been holding trickled down his cheeks. So Jeong wanted to throw up all the blood from his body and smear it on Yeonbin’s face and hands, so that he would remember every single soul he had killed.

“How could you become a new person like this and win His Majesty’s love and rise in the ranks? Your Highness, if there is a heaven, things shouldn’t be like this, right? Do you thinking I am wrong?”

“I… I……”

“When I listen to the words of praise for you fill the palace, can you imagine how much blood I must have vomited every day?”

Only the Emperor himself could inflict the greatest pain on Yeonbin. So Jeong hoped that, at the very least, Yeonbin would receive that punishment. He prayed fervently that Yeonbin would grow old in misery as a concubine, completely neglected by the Emperor and despised by everyone. However, Yeonbin had transformed into a different person, winning the hearts of people, and the Emperor visited him every day.

How could So Jeong not seek revenge with his own hands?

After becoming the head eunuch of Jeongan Palace, the anguish in So Jeong’s heart did not diminish. Every time he saw the happy faces of the court ladies in Jeongan Palace, every time he encountered Yeonbin, who never spoke rudely, even to the lowest court lady, and every time he faced the man who, according to the stories, had lost all his memories and was now a completely different person, So Jeong’s heart involuntarily trembled. Nonetheless, So Jeong couldn’t ignore Yeocheong, who appeared in his dreams every night with her body covered in blood and her eyes filled with tears.

So Jeong exhaled and slowly closed his eyes. Tears streamed down his wet cheeks, but he could no longer justify his sins while being unable to relieve Yeocheong of her resentment.

“Fate is indeed funny. That it was Seocheon… A guard who’s lost someone dear to him in your hands, just like me, who saved you, Your Highness.”

Seocheon bit his lip as he listened to So Jeong’s words. On the surface, there was nothing wrong with them. Seocheon could understand So Jeong’s heart better than anyone else. Seocheon, too, had grown weary of hearing about Yeonbin’s ever-changing reputation and had come to Jeongan Palace. If it weren’t for the subtle sense of familiarity he felt when he faced Yeonbin in person, there’s no telling what he would have done next.

When So Jeong seemed to have finished what he had to say, he spoke with a wistful smile on his lips.

“Your Highness Yeonbin. You said that you’re a different person now, so if that’s true… even though I’m an immoral sinner, I’m begging you. You can kill me however you want, but help me so that I can find Yeocheong’s abandoned body… So that that poor… that poor girl’s soul can rest in peace…”

As he spoke, a sorrowful sob broke out and tears dropped. So Jeong then put both his hands on the floor, bowed deeply, and shook his head, pleading.

“Your Highness Yeonbin… please have mercy on me and find and bury Yeocheong’s body… Please… I’m begging you so desperately like this…”