The Hated Male Concubine

He unknowingly imagined Yeon Hwawoon, who lowered his gaze gracefully and struggled to endure all the senses he felt, barely letting out hot breathing sound through his small lips. Then, he pictured Yeon Hwawoon with an attitude he had never shown and a slender gesture, stretching out his thin arms to him, doing his best to accept and handle everything the emperor gave to him.

Yeon Hwawoon in his imagination was Yeon Hwawoon, but at the same time was someone else, not Yeon Hwawoon. That figure was never seen by the emperor, and before, it never suited Hwawoon. However, now Yihan could clearly imagine it as if he had actually seen it just by recalling the recent Hwawoon.

“Fuck…!” 

When his thoughts reached that point, vigor somehow filled all over his body and his lower abdomen became stiff, so Yihan was surprised and unintentionally spat out swear words and bit his lips tightly. Surprised, the eunuch quickly asked, “Your Majesty, what’s wrong?” But Yihan shook his head violently and only waved his hands, gesturing it was nothing. 

I must be crazy. I must have been out of my mind.  

It was so ridiculous that Yihan kept scorning himself in his head. He couldn’t understand what was going on, even though he had boasted that he would not get caught on Yeon Hwawoon’s vain tricks.

As soon as Cheonggeon Hall, where he had to do political affairs with numerous ministers in front of him, began to appear, Yihan took a deep breath and tried to soothe his mind and body. After all, no one knew about what he was thinking, so Yihan only pretended not to feel the incomprehensible desire he had just felt. 

***

“Yeonbin.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

After the morning greeting was over, the empress, who ordered everyone to leave except for Yeonbin, stared at Yeonbin sitting in front of her with a polite attitude and bowed his head. Hwawoon’s face with his gently lowered eyes evoked many thoughts for Jaran.

Of course, it was not that she didn’t know about his great beauty before, but the recent Hwawoon she encountered was clearly— she felt like looking at a completely different person despite the same face. It was not simply because his way to dress up was totally different and how he stayed calm and not caused an uproar. 

Previously, she only looked at him as a concubine with a fancy beauty. Of course, she thought that to be unique because he was a man, but she didn’t see anything that made him special from others. But Hwawoon in front of her at this time seemed to have become not only beautiful, but also a stronger, upright, and neat person.

At first glance, he didn’t seem like a concubine seeking the emperor’s favor, but only a little weak-looking, strong-minded, and great-looking nobleman.

It was a very novel and strange feeling, so the empress only watched Hwawoon for a while, trying to imagine the emperor’s feelings while facing the same face she was facing now. 

The empress knew about the emperor’s complicated mind when he visited the empress’ palace last night. She also knew where and from whom that complication originated. However, the emperor didn’t seem to want to talk more, so she just feigned ignorance.

The empress’s position was in charge of the internal palace and to thoroughly look and help the emperor from the closest. That was why today’s Empress told Yeonbin to remain. The empress opened her mouth with a soft yet heavy voice.

“I know that you lost all your memories before you fell into the water. But you already know that the relationship between me, and you were not that smooth, right?”

“… Yes, Your Majesty. I deeply reflect on the fact that I treated Your Majesty rudely and arrogantly when I was only a concubine.”

While sitting, Yeonbin bowed even deeper. Both of his gestures and voice answering that he was reflecting on himself showed no signs of pretending or being sarcastic to the empress. 

Even though the empress had already prepared her heart for that neat, polite attitude, she was flustered and held her armrest tightly. She felt like she could guess how deep the panic and chaos His Majesty faced was. 

“Then, I don’t need to say anything pretentious, and I’ll ask you straightforwardly.”

“Yes, Your Majesty. Please ask me.”

“Do you have bad thoughts because His Majesty treats you harshly?” 

When the empress asked, Yeonbin looked surprised and looked up at the empress. The empress only stared at Yeonbin with a heavy gaze. Taken aback, Yeonbin, blinked his big eyes for a while, then hurriedly got up from his seat and knelt down in front of the empress and said,

“Your Majesty, I already know that I could stay in the position of concubine so far because of His Majesty’s and your unlimited grace.”

“…”

“So how could I say the admonition His Majesty gives me as a harsh treatment, and how could I dare to have bad thoughts because of it?” 

Listening to Yeonbin’s answer, which sounded sincere, neither excessive nor insufficient, the empress looked at Yeonbin’s skinny body kneeling in front of her. It was such a firm voice that even the empress, who ruled the internal palace and already heard all kinds of lies and excuses from Yeon Hwawoon, could feel no sign of lies.

She wondered if she could believe him— if it was fine for her to trust the one who never changed for a long time.