The Hated Male Concubine

“Your Majesty. You have to sleep now.” 

Eunuch Oh said in a heavy voice as he could not bear to see the emperor who had not left Yeonbin’s side even though it was already dawn. Yeonbin was still sleeping in the prone position on the emperor’s bed. The emperor, who sat next to Yeonbin and looked at him, held a handkerchief to wipe the cold sweat that so often formed on Yeonbin’s forehead. 

It was a scene that no one, including Eunuch Oh, and even the Emperor himself had ever imagined. 

“Very well.” 

The emperor, Yihan, replied so. He did answer the eunuch. Whenever Eunuch Oh recommended to him to take rest because the doctor and court ladies will take good care of Yeonbin, Yihan replied, Okay, I will. 

However, when he tried to get up and leave, he caught the sound of Hwawoon’s breathing, which sounded so weak. The groaning sound between the weak breathing sounds as though the pain was still severe kept making his heart sink. 

When he heard that groan, he suddenly remembered Yeon Hwawoon, who was looking for only him, saying ‘Your Majesty,’ even when he was sick and lost consciousness last time. He was worried that Hwawoon would be looking for him like then after he left, so Yihan couldn’t leave at all. 

“Your Majesty…”

“Just a moment. I’ll stay just a moment longer.”

He knew why Eunuch Oh was pressuring him. Whatever happened on this night, the emperor had to wake up again at dawn tomorrow to lead the national affairs. If he didn’t sleep well, his physical condition the next day would inevitably be affected. The emperor’s health was a serious matter that could immediately lead to other problems in the nation, so Yihan, the emperor himself, knew better than anyone that it was not right to stay up all night because of a concubine. 

“Just a second…”

So, what was the reason he couldn’t take a step forward if he knew that? What made him worry that Hwawoon could wake up alone in a room where no one was around at dawn? 

When he opened his eyes, when he came to his senses, groaning in pain. The reason he hoped that the first face Hwawoon saw at that time was Yihan’s own face, not anyone else. The reason Yihan hoped for that. Where did that kind of emotion come from?

“Ggh…”

In the meantime, Hwawoon, who moved slightly in his sleep, once again shed a painful groan. Eunuch Oh saw the emperor’s face collapsing at once at that. It was Eunuch Oh, who had seen all kinds of images of the Emperor from the closest place for years, but the face he saw at this moment was unfamiliar enough to make even his spine get chills. 

Moreover, Eunuch Oh was a person who knew the dawn of the emperor that no one knew. He was such a person who had seen all the Emperor’s nights of suffering. When the emperor drank alcohol alone at night, feeling pain from the blood of his brothers that had to dirty his hands, and being saddened by his mother, who was eaten away by her own jealousy and contempt even when she was lying sick on the bed because she couldn’t escape the feelings of that time. Nevertheless, the emperor’s face reflected in Eunuch Oh’s eyes now had a different color from the emotions of those days. An unfamiliar and cold sensation crept down Eunuch Oh’s spine. 

While Eunuch Oh was holding his breath without daring to guess what that feeling was, Yihan reached out and carefully wiped the sweat off Hwawoon’s forehead, slowly tidied up the messy hair on his back, and opened his mouth. 

“Shh, it’s fine. I’m here.” 

A small, soft voice rang in the emperor’s bedroom as if it was only allowed to one person in the world. After that, the emperor’s hand, which did not hold the towel, carefully swept the pale cheek of Hwawoon. Yihan’s sadness as he could do nothing for Hwawoon even though he was suffering like this was drawn on Hwawoon’s cheek through his touch. As if Yihan had already forgotten that Eunuch Oh was here, he was focusing his whole mind only on Hwawoon. The emperor whispered, 

“I’ll be by your side…”

At the same time, Hwawoon’s expression, which was distorted by pain, calmed down for a moment as if he had felt the emperor’s touch and heard his voice. 

Eunuch Oh didn’t want to know what kind of emotion the emperor and his concubine were sharing at this moment. If by any case it was an emotion his emperor had been wary of all his life, even if he was a seasoned eunuch, he didn’t know how to convey it as a servant.

Eunuch Oh just bowed his head, bent his back, and quietly stepped away from the bedroom. When the emperor first showed a special reaction to the changed Yeonbin, Eunuch Oh thought it was just a light feeling and curiosity, so he dared to think such an emperor cute. However, the emperor’s feelings, which he had only now fully faced, became incomparably wider and deeper than then, and it was hard to guess what the end was, so Eunuch Oh also got confused. 

It was a night when Eunuch Oh’s quiet steps leaving the room felt heavy.

***

In a very dark place even without the light from the moon, Hawoon stood alone. He didn’t remember where he was or since when he had been there, and he had moved his body several times to look around, but all the corners were just dark, so nothing came into his eyes. 

His whole body felt heavy as if he had been beaten by someone. For some reason, his shoulder and back hurt like it was going to rip, but he couldn’t remember why his body hurt so much. 

Hawoon decided to walk first. This was because he was a little scared of the surrounding scenery, which was only dark. There was nothing particularly threatening to Hawoon, but the fact that it was in such a wide, quiet, dark place made his spine shudder. 

And hat was not all.

At the same time, Hawoon felt lonely. Why am I alone? Why is there no one around? Such a question occurred to him. Was I always alone? Did no one exist next to me originally? Was I always wandering alone on such a dark path? 

Therefore, Hawoon kept walking toward somewhere. He wished there was light to light up his darkness. He also wished there was someone who would make the loneliness he was feeling disappear. So that he didn’t wander in the dark alone. So that he didn’t have to endure the pain alone. Hawoon walked and walked in the dark, hoping that there would be such a person—such a light.

It was at that moment that someone grabbed Hawoon’s arm and pulled him. When he raised his head with his body curled up in surprise, a man grabbed Hawoon’s shoulder and looked down at him. A man, who was so handsome that could lead him to admire even in this kind of situation, opened his mouth. 

“Why are you wandering around as you will?” 

The man said as if he already knew Hawoon. At first glance, he looked angry, but even in a short period of time, there was a slight feeling of concern in his eyes looking around Hawoon’s body. Do we know each other? Did I know someone like this? Hawoon was just looking at the man while blinking his eyes. 

I can’t remember who he is. It’s hard to remember who he is. Nevertheless, a strangely familiar sensation filled his whole body, so he was relieved without realizing it. It was just like he met someone he had been longing for a long time. Hawoon felt relieved as if the man in front of him was actually the one he was looking for in the dark. It was such an unknown feeling.

“…”

He opened his mouth to say something, but his voice didn’t come out, so Hawoon only moved his mouth. He wanted to ask who the man was and how he found him, but strangely, nothing could come out of his open mouth. Turning a blind eye to Hawoon, who couldn’t say anything, the man opened his mouth again.

“Let’s go back now.” 

Tears burst out for no reason when he heard that. Let’s go back. He wondered if he had a place to go back to, and at the same time, he was relieved to go back with him, so he almost lost strength in his legs. Hawoon, who was trying to calm his trembling legs and take a step in case he would collapse and missed the man, soon realized that the moonlight was shining at the man’s feet. 

In this dark and bleak place, where no starlight was seen anywhere else, the light that only shone on the man was now also reaching the tip of Hawoon’s feet. 

So now, Hawoon suddenly realized it. 

It’s this person. This is the man I’ve been looking for. I’ve been wandering on such a lonely and dark path to meet this person. 

At that moment, a blindingly vast light engulfed all corners. 

***

“…!”

Hwawoon opened his eyes, breathing heavily. He felt like his body, which had been submerged in a deep swamp, was lifted at once. His head was dizzy even when he blinked a few times to control his blurred vision. He couldn’t tell if he had a dream or if it was a dream now, and he felt like his stomach was unwell. Without realizing it, he tried to raise his lying body and put force in his arms, and at the same time, a great deal of pain came from his shoulders and back. 

“Ugh…!”

“Stay still. Don’t move.” 

But Hwawoon couldn’t afford to think about where the pain he felt came from. This was because as soon as he woke up, a familiar voice, and a very careful and gentle hand, wrapped around Hwawoon. 

As if worrying Hwawoon would break, the man’s sturdy hands slowly raised his body and helped him sit down right away. Hwawoon’s vision, which had only been dizzy, was slowly cleared up, and at that moment, what was in Hwawoon’s eyes was,

“Your Majesty…”

The only emperor between heaven and earth, Sung Yihan.