The Heartbeat at the Tip of the Tongue

Word count: 2491

Today Onwards

Without a sound, time passed quietly.

A few minutes later, Song Yi Ran released the brake, and the car continued forward.

The same scenery flowed by.

It was only when they reached the city, and they were surrounded by busy traffic, and the noisy noise reached the ears, did Lin Ke Song take the eye mask off, and opened her eyes.

“Eh? We’ve reached?”

“Yeah ah, we’ve reached.” Song Yi Ran laughed, “remember to carefully consider the thing I talked about with you.”

“You’re really not planning to engage a professional chef?”

“the restaurant I wish to open isn’t any big hotel restaurant, the people who will be eating there will probably be my friends, I only wish to give everyone a place to quietly enjoy their time. Like their own kitchen, got it? If you’re free, you can be a guest chef, if you wish, you can be the head chef there too, if you don’t wish to do any of these, and only want to eat there, it’s fine too.”

“Okay ah, I will consider!”

“Bye.” Song Yi Ran waved and drove away.

Lin Ke Song looked at his car getting further and further away, she remembered Song Yi Ran’s last smile.

It was different from every one of his previous smiles.

So genuine and sad.

She suddenly remembered that time when he and she had finished playing games and were lying on the carpet, he asked her, if they’d be together forever.

She walked into the light of the lamppost. She remembered that when she’d first arrived in New York, he stood right here waiting for her.

She had a crush on him for 10 years. She thought that if she could have this feeling for 10 years, she’d be able to sustain it longer.

“Are you having regrets.”

The cool voice sounded, Lin Ke Song’s heart seemed to be lifted, she turned around and saw Jiang Qian Fan’s quiet and handsome face.

“You…… what are you doing here?”

Jiang Qian Fan was holding his cane, leaning on the lamppost, that posture totally different from Song Yi Ran’s.

His introversion contained a kind of patient strength.

“I’m waiting for you to return home.”

“…… do you mean you’ve been here the whole time?” Lin Ke Song asked.

“If not here, where else would I wait for you?”

The calm voice was like cool wine, it carried a tipsy feel.

“You haven’t answered my question. Are you regretting?”

“Regretting what?” Lin Ke Song was totally lost.

“regretting getting together with me. If you are regretting, it’s still not too late to agree to Song Yi Ran.”

Jiang Qian Fan’s expression was pretty much the same as all his other expressions. Not a movement of his eyes, all expressions well controlled.

But looking at him hold onto the cane, it suddenly dawned on Lin Ke Song.

He wasn’t always self-assured all the time, there is bound to be something that was out of his control, like his heart, like her now.

The corners of Lin Ke Song’s lips lifted, and purposely leaned towards him, and stared into his eyes and asked: “Oh, what to agree with him about?”

Jiang Qian Fan was acuter than Lin Ke Song could imagine.

It was only today where she understood Song Yi Ran.

But she and he had always had a time difference. When she was looking at Song Yi Ran, he had hidden all his intentions. When she finally started flying out, he started chasing.

Lin Ke Song felt that her heart was very small, it could only contain one person at a time.

Jiang Qian Fan had already successfully squeeze in, and filled her heart to the brim, letting her let go of Song Yi Ran obscurely.

She knew, that if Song Yi Ran never said those words, they would be able to forever be friends that understood each other the best.

This relieving was definitely not easy. This was something Lin Ke Song had never thought of.

And the most important thing was, the reason for the inexplicable tension between Jiang Qian Fan and Song Yi Ran was finally clear to Lin Ke Song.

“Agree to his confession.”

“Oh…… Song Yi Ran did confess. We’ve known each other for so many years, and have lots of trust between us. I must carefully consider his confession. Actually, when I think about it, he wouldn’t give me much pressure, why not I agree!”

“So, I give you pressure. Then I’ll simply give you more pressure.”

“What pressure?”

Jiang Qian Fan cupped the back of Lin Ke Song’s head, and pressed her to be in front of him, then kissed her hard.

At the start, he only kissed her corner of her lips, Lin Ke Song felt a little pain when she knocked into him, just as she grabbed his shoulder, the tip of Jiang Qian Fan’s tongue squeezed in along Lin Ke Song’s lips. Everything was caught off guard, the offence easily getting past the defence. Lin Ke Song’s back was pressed against the lamppost, Jiang Qian Fan tilted his face to kiss her completely.

The air went crackling dry in a moment, it felt like there were sounds of firewood being lighted at Lin Ke Song’s ear, everything bursting into flames uncontrollably.

His kiss suppressed her totally, there was no room for movement.

Both her wrists were screwed to the sides of the lamppost by the other party, deadbolted, her bones hurt to death.

This was the first time she understood the meaning of “playing with fire”.

Lin Ke Song tried to turn her face away, to get away from Jiang Qian Fan, who cared whether it was only a crack, to let her understand her own intentions, but Jiang Qian Fan didn’t give her half a chance.

It was only when Lin Ke Song’s legs were both turning jelly, that Jiang Qian Fan left her lips.

“You can try.”

His voice was very cold, her wrists were still being locked.

“…… he’s only planning to open a small restaurant and hire me to help out in the back kitchen only!” Lin Ke Song took this chance to quickly talk.

She thought that Jiang Qian Fan would let her go, but this cold-faced man had already seen through her, he leaned against the side of her face, gently sticking to her skin, and used the gentlest gesture to cover her ears and said: “Actually you know what he really meant. You just didn’t let him say it.”

“So you knew……”

“Of course I knew. Your heart can’t bear for him to leave, and you almost heard the answer that you’d been waiting 10 years to hear.”

Lin Ke Song’s eyes teared up, she had always wanted to cry, but she knew she couldn’t cry for Song Yi Ran in Jiang Qian Fan’s arms.

“If the tears wish to fall, let them flow. You can miss and like the times spent with him, you can be nostalgic for his back view, you can remember the hopes you had towards him. Because to have you have a clean cut with your past is an unrealistic thing. If you knew obviously what he wanted to really say to you, and are still indifferent, it is not you. I only want you to understand this, your ‘today onwards’ is in my hands.”

This was Jiang Qian Fan, he always used the simplest method to give up all intentions to turn back.

He never thought of making her onto another person or even changing her past, he accepted the original her.

Jiang Qian Fan’s kiss landed on the tip of her brow, a loving soft strength.

Suddenly, something was knocked from the window, and crashed to the ground.

Lin Ke Song lifted her head and saw Xiao Xue standing in front of the window.

“Xiao Xue……”

“What’s the matter?” Jiang Qian Fan turned his face over, “Is Xiao Xue your cousin?”

“Ah…… Yes……” Lin Ke Song was a little worried and wondered whether Lin Xiao Xue would tell Uncle anything.

“Let’s go ba, I’ve never been to the place you stay.”

Jiang Qian Fan calmly straightened his cane, took Lin Ke Song’s hand, and walked towards the small flight of stairs at Uncle’s house.

But Lin Xiao Xue continued to glare daggers at Jiang Qian Fan. She didn’t understand what kind of flowery fortune her cousin had!

For example, a handsome man like Song Yi Ran, every time he visited was to look for Lin Ke Song, totally treated Lin Xiao Xue like air.

And this man now had an unforgettable disposition. When he looked up, it seemed like the world had stopped silently in his eyes.

Lin Xiao Xue suddenly had a thought and took out a huge stack of《Gourmet》 magazines.

These magazines were bought by her father Lin Feng, there was no other place to put them, so they were piled here, there was already a layer of dust accumulated. She had not a shred of interest in these magazines, only flipping through occasionally for high-class restaurants recommendations. But she remembered that she had seen a picture of a Chinese chef, that made her unable to believe her eyes, because in her impression, head chefs were either fat as the Caucasian men on tv or people like her father who perspired like it was raining in the back kitchen, but this Chinese head chef disposition like a noble.

Lin Xiao Xue had once obsessively looked up news about this chef. Apart from news of being the heir to some Chinese corporation, it was news of his restaurant getting Michelin stars and praise, but there were no photos. He was so low profile that she was disappointed.

His name was “Jiang Qian Fan”.

If her father Lin Feng spoke of this name, he could talk endlessly for 3 days and 3 nights.

Sounds of footsteps sounded in the hallway, Lin Xiao Xue opened the door, and saw Lin Ke Song bringing Jiang Qian Fan to her room.

“slowly, it’s small in here, very tight, you must be careful.”

Lin KE Song pulled him into the house, and honestly, bringing Jiang Qian Fan to visit her own room was a little embarrassing.

Good thing he couldn’t see.

There was a jacket that she hadn’t had the time to put away on the study chair, Lin Ke Song could only invite him to sit on her bed.

But quilt wasn’t arranged properly on the bed, so messy that it made her ashamed.

He didn’t know, he didn’t know, he won’t know……

Lin Ke Song really regretted bringing him to her room.

Accidentally, Jiang Qian Fan’s leg hit the luggage Lin Ke Song placed at the head of the bed.

“Aiya! Sorry! Sorry!”

“It’s alright.”

Jiang Qian Fan had just sat down, and a hand on her blanket, and lifted his head, “still the same old habits, never make your bed.”

“……”

Just as Lin Ke Song was thinking about her reply, Jiang Qian Fan slowly laid down, and leaned on her pillow, “this place smells like you.”

“it’s not a stink ba…… I shower everyday……”

“I want to sleep for a while. You promised to make hay smoked eggs.”

“Alright! You sleep for a bit! When I’m done I’ll call you!”

“En.”

Lin Ke Song lifted the edge of her blanket and covered Jiang Qian Fan.

There were eggs in the kitchen, but there were not dried herbs and jam ah! she needs to buy them.

Reaching the door, and seeing Jiang Qian Fan’s sleeping form, she knew that he had a habit of taking an afternoon nap.

Was he always waiting for her since she told him that she was going to have lunch with Song Yi Ran?

Lin Ke Song smiled, and quietly closed the door.

She had an illusion, that that small room was a box where she hid Jiang Qian Fan. No matter how cold he was, no matter how unattainable he seemed to the outside world but when he closed his eyes to sleep, he was like her exclusive collection.

Lin Ke Song reached the front of the stairs and saw that Lin Xiao Xue had opened the door.

“Hey, how is he related to you?” Lin Xiao Xue asked straightforwardly.

“Friend.” Lin Ke Song replied.

“Friend? He’s your friend?” Lin Xiao Xue laughed lightly in some contempt, “Is every friend of yours allowed to sleep in your bed?”

“Fine ba, he’s my boyfriend.”

Lin Ke Song didn’t know how to explain Jiang Qian Fan’s identity to Lin Xiao Xue, but since Jiang Qian Fan had visited, it’s probably with intention to get to know her family. Lin Ke Song didn’t care what Lin Xiao Xue thought, but she didn’t know if Uncle and Jiang Qian Fan would be able to get along.

“Continue being proud ba!” Lin Xiao Xue just went back to the house and shut the door.

Lin Ke Song shook her head exasperatedly and walked towards the closest supermarket.

When Lin Ke Song came back with the ingredients, she realised that the door of her room was opened.

Did Lin Xiao Xue disturb Jiang Qian Fan’s rest?

She hurriedly rushed into the room and realised that her Uncle was actually holding a notebook like a primary school student and taking notes seriously.

And Jiang Qian Fan was leaning against the head of the bed leisurely, both hands on Lin Ke Song’s blanket.

From the sweet and sour pork to the steamed pork with glutinous rice then the stir-fried waist flower, Uncle had countless questions, like he was worried that after this day had passed, he’d never ever be able to see Jiang Qian Fan again.

And unexpectedly, Jiang Qian Fan was patiently answering all of Uncle’s questions, even answering and explaining the littlest detail.

He even slowed his speech to match the speed of Uncle’s notetaking.

“Thank you so much! Mr Jiang! I still have another question……”

“No need to rush, Uncle Lin, I will be having dinner here. Ke Song is back.”

Jiang Qian Fan’s hearing was so acute, who knew, maybe when she’d arrived downstairs, he’d already known that she was back.

“Ke Song! You’re back! Why didn’t you tell me that Mr Jiang has visited! Let me prepare prepare ah! did you know that your uncle dreams of meeting Mr Jiang! He is your mentor and you actually didn’t say a word, you’re really capable ah! if I didn’t come up to pick things up, and Xiao Xue telling me that you have a guest, I wonder how long this secret will be kept!”

“Haha…… doesn’t Uncle know now?” Lin Ke Song laughed towards Jiang Qian Fan, it looked like he could get along well with her family, there wasn’t anything for her to worry about ma.

“Didn’t you say that you won’t eat snacks at your bed again? I can smell crackers on your pillow.”

Jiang Qian Fan calmly said.