The Joy of Her Two Worlds [Rebirth]

    I learned from my aunt what happened during this time.

    Auntie said that her grandmother is always worried about when will she be able to pay off so much money? She couldn't eat or sleep, but the only way she could think of to make money was to work. She could cut firewood and sell it for some money, so she went to cut firewood.

      Also go to work, she has been thinking about how to make some money.

    She said she saved more money, and when Qin Sishao was older, she could pay less.

    Aunt and Qin Sishao talked a lot about grandma, and after that, my aunt hesitated, and finally just asked her when she would go back to school?

    Qin Sishao has not yet arrived for the winter vacation, and there are still classes to attend.

    Qin Sishao said he didn't know.

    She has been reading for so many years, and for the first time she has the psychology of being tired of studying, and for the first time I have the idea of ​​not reading.

    After she got home, she took a small bench and sat beside her grandfather to talk to her grandfather. Grandpa told her to go back to school tomorrow, saying that she had been delayed for too long this semester, and that she would wait until she was admitted to university. , go to visit grandma's grave, grandma will be very happy.

    Qin Sishao choked and nodded, looking at the vicissitudes of his grandfather's face, she couldn't say that I don't want to study anymore.

    The next day, she went to school.

    After winter vacation, she went home.

    The bacon and sausage smoked by her grandfather after she left the house were hung on the stove at home. There were still fish left in the pond. Sold in town.

    On the New Year's Eve this year, she and her grandfather were the only people at home. Grandpa attached great importance to the Spring Festival, and on New Year's Eve, he still cooked a table of dishes, filled three bowls of rice, and poured three cups of drinks, yes Said in the position where grandma used to sit.

    "It's New Year's Eve."

    She had a New Year's Eve dinner with her grandfather, watched the Spring Festival Gala together, and kept watch until very late. She went back to her room to sleep, and the tears she held back for a long time finally fell out.

    This Spring Festival, she still paid New Year's greetings to some relatives in the village, and then began to read books and write novels.

    She spends more and more time writing novels, Qin Sishao's goal is not Qingbei, but Nancheng University, as long as it is Nancheng University, it is close to home, she is worried Grandpa, it is also convenient to go home in the future, or she buys a house earlier and picks up grandpa to live in Nancheng.

    Her novels made money very early. Compared with many authors, she is so lucky. The money she earns can support herself and her grandfather.

    She told her grandfather that he didn't need to farm or weave farm implements to make money. He didn't earn more than her a day after working for a month. He just had to rest and go to the village to play, Chat with people, or play cards.

    In the summer vacation of her second year of high school, she returned to her hometown.

    The moment he got home, Qin Sishao saw his grandfather and had a feeling that he was very lonely and lonely.

    He lives alone, besides watching TV every day, listening to some sound.

    Most of the time, he just sits at home in a daze, or works in the fields, and he doesn't like to go out.

    Qin Sishao's condition was not very good at that time, and she became more and more silent. Except that she had to communicate with people, she would not speak if she could not speak.

    She stayed in the room every day to do test papers, write novels, go downstairs to cook and eat.

    As people get older, they are more afraid of loneliness, and the home is terribly quiet every day.

    Grandpa went to town to buy a litter of little fluffy chickens and ducklings, they were too small, he didn't dare to let them out, so he kept them in the yard and gave them to them every day Feed green leaves and rice, and talk to chickens and ducks for a long time in the day.

    Sometimes when Qin Sishao heard her grandfather talking to them, she wanted to cry, but she kept shedding tears, but she couldn't make a sound.

    She asked grandpa to go out for a walk and play in the village. She took him out to play and talked with him, which made him feel better.

      Yes, he smiled after saying this, he smiled happily.

    Then he died suddenly.

    Suddenly Qin Sishao did not respond.

    When she realized, the rice bowl in her hand fell to the ground, she was not afraid at all, just sad, she will be alone in the future.

    She wanted to die too.

    Why does she want to live in this world?

    She thought about a lot of things.

    She used to think it was good to live, what a beautiful world.

    Now, she feels that this beautiful world has nothing to do with her.

    But she just shed tears and walked outside while crying, calling a few relatives in the village to come over.

    They are elders. They know she is a child and can't handle grandpa's death well. They contacted grandpa's children.

    This time, they all said that they were busy with work and did not want to go home. They said that since Qin Sishao was at home, let her handle it.

    Qin Sishao listened to them quarreling on the phone, she began to wonder, if she was drowned and buried alive at birth, would her grandparents live a hundred years, she hated herself to the extreme, I feel like I don't deserve anything.

    If they don't come back, the relatives have no choice but to call someone over to give the grandpa a potion to ensure that the corpse does not rot or stink.

    They all came to her house and sat together to watch the time. The funeral was still to be done. They asked Qin Sishao, did her grandfather leave any savings? She has to take it out for funerals, and she can take out a loan for her future tuition.

      Next, about 20,000 yuan.

    Most of this money is the money Qin Sishao gave to his grandfather in the past six months, and let him use it as living expenses. He was reluctant to use it, saying that she was too young and it was not easy to make money, so he saved it for her.

    20,000 yuan is not enough for a funeral. Qin Sishao said that she had money. She asked them to discuss what they needed to buy, and gave her a list. No matter how much money, she would pay.

    Grandpa's funeral was very simple. Relatives wanted to save her some money. They looked at her with sympathy.

    She didn't speak, just nodded.

    After grandfather was buried, she was left alone in the family, and there were a bunch of chickens and ducks, which she raised for many days.

    Summer is too hot, she also fetches water to water several vegetable fields every day.

    After summer vacation, she is going back to school.

    She gave her relatives what she could eat at home, and also gave them chickens and ducks, saying that they would pick the vegetables from the vegetable field if they wanted to eat them. She should not be back until the New Year. After cleaning again, I went to the forest where my grandparents were buried, and burned a pile of paper money for them.

    When she got home, she locked the door, put the key in her schoolbag, and left with her schoolbag on her back.

    The life of senior three is much hectic than that of senior two. Qin Sishao will be very tired of facing endless exam papers every day. Her grades are not so good. people.

    Even, she can't even get into grade 100 now.

    Wandering in class, in a daze, and sometimes sleeping.

    Teachers don't really want to care about her, she is too silent, she just nods or bows her head when the teacher talks to her, it's too tiring to communicate with her, the teachers' patience gradually was consumed by her.

    Qin Sishao has no friends, not even a good classmate.

    We all know that she is withdrawn, she will never take the initiative to talk to someone, and her classmates will not look for her.

    The only thing that comforts Qin Sishao is that her novels are getting better and better. In her third year of high school, she had saved all the money to buy a house in Nancheng.

    But what's the point of that? Grandma is gone, grandpa is gone.

    She dreamed of buying a big house and bringing her grandparents to live with her. When she saved enough money to buy a house, the two old people were gone.

    There is only one person she cares about in this world, but she is far abroad, and now she has no ability to find Jiang Chi.

    Qin Sishao began to think, she found Jiang Chi, does Jiang Chi still remember her? Would you still consider her a friend?

    No one likes her.

    How could Jiang Chi remember her and like her?

    The third year of high school was particularly difficult for Qin Sishao. She was either tired of school or tired of the world. Every day she did well, she would suddenly burst into tears.

    The teacher thought she was under too much pressure, and the school also attached great importance to the mental health of the students. The psychology teacher always talked to her and asked her to take medicine and cooperate with the treatment.

    They all said she was sick, she was sick.

    But she doesn't think she is sick, she just doesn't want to live and can't find the meaning of her life in this world.

    But she still cooperated with them. She received treatment and took medicine every day, but she was still unhappy.

    After the college entrance examination, it was not long before her birthday. She was already in her hometown at that time, and she stayed at home to write novels.

    On her birthday, she went to the town to buy a small birthday cake, inserted eighteen candles, and after blowing them out, she made a wish.

    She hopes to find Jiang Chi one day in the future.

    This was the first time she had a birthday cake, the first time she ate a birthday cake, and she ate it all.

    After eating, she lay in bed in a daze. She thought about a lot of things, but she didn't seem to think about anything.

    In a few days, the results came out.

    656 points.

    This grade is considered a good grade in many people's hearts, but many Nancheng No. 1 Middle School has more than 700% this year, plus a bunch of students who were recommended to Tsinghua University and Peking University.

    Qin Sishao chose the Department of Computer Science of Nancheng University.

    Her idea is very simple, computer science is a popular major, and it is easier to make money than other majors in this era. She has to work hard to make money, and then go abroad to find Jiang Chi.

    There is only one hope left in her life, Jiang Chi.

    Jiang Chi doesn't remember her, she just looks at Jiang Chi from a distance, she doesn't disturb Jiang Chi, she is very happy to see Jiang Chi.

    Since college started, she didn't join any clubs, never skipped classes, and spent most of her time writing novels.

      Writing novels is stupid, tell her to stop writing them.

    When she was a senior, Qin Sishao read one novel after another.

    Readers commented that a person with such warm words and stories must be a warm and sunny girl in reality.

    Qin Sishao said in her heart, no, she is not sunny at all, she is not warm at all.

    The warm and sunny girl is called Jiang Chi, she is her little sun.

    But the little sun has been gone for many years, she doesn't know where her little sun has gone, and does her little sun still remember her?

    She has written so many warm stories, which can heal others and warm others.

     But those stories did not heal her creator.

    Qin Sishao has realized that the pain in her heart will not heal in this life.

    Not long after, she posted on Weibo that the pen was sealed and that she no longer planned to write.

    If one day, she can love the world again, she will continue to write.

    When she had the idea of ​​writing a novel, she thought she would write for a lifetime, until she was old, her fingers could not type, and her eyes could not see, she would stop.

    At that time, she never imagined that this hobby that she thought would last for a lifetime would end when she was twenty-two.

    When her classmates were busy looking for jobs, Qin Sishao had been seeing a psychiatrist, she would actively receive treatment every day, and she would take medicine.

    She bought a house in Nancheng, a very large house, with her room, grandparents' house, Jiang Chi's house, a study and two cloakrooms.

    Qin Sishao began to go abroad, she first went to M country, she traveled to many cities in that country, she went many times, but she did not find Jiang Chi, she even Zhao Changning and Su Banxia where She found the school, but she still couldn't find Jiang Chi.

    She didn't give up and went to the surrounding countries and regions to find Jiang Chi, but she still couldn't find Jiang Chi.

    Qin Sishao has been looking for Jiang Chi abroad for the past three years. She has no intention of looking at different customs. She just wants to know where Jiang Chi is and how is she doing? She didn't expect Jiang Chi to remember her anymore, as long as she could see Jiang Chi's side, it was enough.

    But she did not find Jiang Chi, and her visa expired, so she could only go back to China.

    When she returned to Nancheng, she thought, she will definitely live in this city in the future, this city that Jiang Chi liked so much before the age of fifteen, will Jiang Chi one day in the future, Jiang Chi I miss Nancheng. Even if this place makes Jiang Chi sad, Jiang Chi may come back.

    Her mother began to introduce people to her, and when she saw a man with good family conditions, my daughter was so beautiful, she graduated from a famous university, her genes were very good, and the children she gave birth must also be good-looking and smart. It's just that the bride price is a lot, at least a few hundred thousand. She doesn't care about the man's character and educational ability, as long as the family can give it a few hundred thousand.

    Qin Sishao didn't want to go, she watched her mother splash in front of her with cold eyes, she had no feelings for them at all.

    Similarly, they have no feelings for her.

    Why did she go on a blind date?

    Because she saw someone chatting in the high school group, saying that Jiang Chi was back.

    Jiang Chi is back.

    She really wanted to see her, but she didn't dare to see her.

    She doesn't like herself now, and Jiang Chi won't like her either.

    She went on a blind date just because she suddenly wanted to go, and regretted it when she arrived. She looked at the man sitting opposite him.

    The man is very enthusiastic, saying that he is rich, as long as she marries him and stays at home to have children and children, he will give the bride price to her parents.

    Qin Sishao didn't speak, she was just thinking, it was hundreds of thousands.

    For such a small amount of money, her parents must think that selling her for hundreds of thousands is very profitable.

    When she was a child, she felt that one dollar was a lot, but when she was older, she felt that one hundred yuan was a lot, but when she had the ability to make money, the hundreds of thousands in her eyes were just like that. Earn hundreds of thousands of dollars.

    The man is still talking, looking at her, he has regarded her as his property.

    She is not a person, just an item.

    A tool that he spent money to buy home to give birth to a child, her value lies in this.

    Qin Sishao wanted to laugh, but couldn't.

    She finally knew the reason why she kept thinking about Jiang Chi all these years.

    Many people chased her and said they liked her, and some men said they would chase her for a lifetime, and they would be with other women in less than a month.

    Why she never loves them and will not be moved.

    She doesn't feel love because of the way they look at her.

    It is also possible that she lost her ability to love her later and could not find the love of others for her.

    But Qin Sishao felt that she was right, those eyes were like the man in front of him, let alone love, she couldn't even feel the most basic respect.

    The way Jiang Chi looked at her was different from the way they looked at her.

    Jiang Chi's eyes brightened when he looked at her.

    Every time she can see the warm smile in Jiang Chi's eyes, and the light that is brighter than the stars in the sky.

    Jiang Chi will sympathize with her, pity her, respect her, and murder her. She will stick to her even more, whisper with her, and want to share everything with her.

    She would be afraid that she would be alone, she would go to school to accompany her to celebrate the Mid-Autumn Festival, and would invite her to watch fireworks together.

    Qin Sishao's eyes were already wet, until a woman's figure flashed in front of her, she thought she had lost her eyes.

    The young woman had delicate makeup, a red dress and long burgundy curly hair, bright and flamboyant, giving people a feeling of domineering and strong, she walked towards her, picked up the table She poured the glass of water on the head of the man opposite her and told him to get out.

    Then, she looked at her and smiled: "Are you going to marry me?"

    Qin Sishao stared blankly at the delicate and bright woman across from him. He hadn't seen each other in ten years. Compared with fifteen years old, Jiang Chi is more beautiful and charming today.

    Fifteen years old, she is a young flower.

    The twenty-five-year-old Jiang Chi is a delicate red rose with thorns.

    Qin Sishao just looked at her, she looked at Jiang Chi for a long time, the man rushed up to make a move, Jiang Chi grabbed a chair and smashed it on his head, the movement was neat, Qin Sishao felt that she The action of smashing people's heads is really cool.

     Her eyes gradually became wet and she nodded.

    The man and her mother, Jiang Chi gave money.

    Jiang Chi took her to a small country to get a marriage license. They didn't play there and returned to China after they got married.

    As soon as she returned to China, Jiang Chi asked her to move in with her.

    The little princess was still the same as before. She lived in a big house and had a lot of beautiful clothes, and she was more beautiful than before.

    Qin Sishao moved to the house Jiang Chi bought in Nancheng.

    It's just that Jiang Chi always disappears. She has to take care of her aunt and brother, and she has to play with friends outside. She always drinks and sometimes doesn't go home for a long time.

    Jiang didn't come home late, Qin Sishao both looked forward to her coming home, and was afraid of her going home.

    She wanted to see Jiang Chi, but she was also afraid that Jiang Chi would hate her now.

    Jiang Chi must hate her. How could anyone like her?

    Jiang Chi married her because the little princess thought it was fun, not because she liked her.

    Qin Sishao's illness got worse again.

    One time, Jiang Chi came back, she looked at Jiang Chi carefully, stood aside and didn't dare to speak, Jiang Chi was very fierce, she spoke loudly, but she didn't talk to her for a long time When people spoke, she even gradually lost her ability to speak, she was just silent.

    Jiang Chi had a fight with her, and she went out.

    After a long time, Jiang Chi didn't come back. As soon as she got home, she took a rope to tie her hand. She took her to the bed to take off her clothes. Qin Sishao had already guessed that Jiang Chi wanted to what did you do.

    No matter what Jiang Chi did to her, she would not blame her.

    It's just that she hopes, this kind of thing, not out of desire.

    Because she loves her, Jiang Chi will have desire for her.

    How could anyone love her? She doesn't deserve to be loved at all.

    Qin Sishao just kept crying until Jiang Chi stopped to look at her, she saw the helplessness in Jiang Chi's eyes, she got up and put on clothes, and said after a moment of silence: "Whatever you want, I was right anyway."

    She loosened the rope for her and left.

    Without going home for several months, Qin Sishao stayed at home alone for many days, reading books, buying vegetables and cooking, occasionally exercising and cleaning.

    The last time Jiang Chi came back was when they were married for two years, she handed her a divorce agreement and asked her to sign.

    Qin Sishao didn't read the specific content, she just stared at the five words blankly.

    Divorce Agreement.

    Their marriage is invalid in China.

    So this marriage recognized by a small country also does not exist.

    Jiang Chi doesn't want her anymore.

    Qin Sishao is so sad.

    Everything was as she thought, Jiang Chi thought it was no fun to marry her, she didn't want her anymore.

    She wanted to tell Jiang Chi that as long as she didn't get divorced, she could do anything with her.

    What's the use of saying it, it will only make Jiang Chi hate her even more.

    She didn't want Jiang Chi to hate her, and even, in her own heart, hoped that Jiang Chi would like her a little bit.

    Qin Sishao signed without saying a word. She put down the divorce agreement and went upstairs to pack up. Before leaving, she looked at the place where she had lived for two years.

    This is her and Jiang Chi's home.

    Jiang Chi rarely goes home.

    Two years is really short, she has been without a home for many years.

    She has owned this home for two years, and now it is gone.

    Qin Sishao went to the house she bought before. She hadn't lived there for two years, and she never came back to see it. The house had accumulated a layer of dust. She cleaned it all night and couldn't sleep , sitting on the floor in a daze.

    What is Jiang Chi doing at this time?

    Until the phone rang, it was an unfamiliar number.

    She was especially afraid of the phone ringing, and even more afraid of talking to strangers.

    She did not dare to pick up until the police came to the door.

    She looked at the uniforms they were wearing, she opened the door, she didn't know what happened, she didn't do anything bad.

    They told her that Jiang Chi was dead.

    As Jiang Chi's wife, she left the villa last night and became a suspect.

    She was in a mess, Jiang Chi died.

    There are only four words in her mind.

    The results of the investigation came out soon. After the case was closed, Jiang Chi's funeral was handled by Jiang Ping'an because of the unrecognized marriage. She went to Jiang Chi's funeral and looked at the black and white photos The woman with a bright and confident smile.

    She died too.

    Qin Sishao felt that she was the one to blame, why did all the people she cared about die? Why didn't she die?

    She wants to die too.

    If it was her who died, Jiang Chi would not die.

    She went home and planned to commit suicide at home, but she was afraid that her death would scare the neighbors, she thought of many ways to die, what should I do if I hurt others?

    Su Banxia asked someone to give her a notebook.

    She recognized the notebook when she saw it. It was the notebook she gave to Jiang Chi twelve years ago.

    The school issued it. She also has an identical copy. She made notes, and she doesn't know where to put it.

    Qin Sishao was holding the notebook, she thought, why didn't Jiang Chi throw the notebook away? She couldn't possibly lack a notebook.

    She still opened the notebook, the date on the first page was twelve years ago, Jiang Chi wrote the year, month, day, and the weather.

    She writes very loosely, sometimes several pages a day, and sometimes dozens of words for several months.

    [Today is my first day in country M. I lay in bed and couldn’t sleep. Before I was ten years old, I visited this country twice, but I have no memory. 】

      】

    [I saw my grandparents cry today, I know they want to go home too. 】

    【Should I hate the city of Nancheng? Do not! I hate some of the people who live in those, but I love the people there too. 】

    [My glass bottle was thrown by Huang Panyun, and so was my first love. I wrote on it that Jiang Chi wanted to be with Qin Sishao forever. I originally thought of taking it after the college entrance examination. This glass bottle confessed to Qin Sishao that I will try my best to make Qin Sishao fall in love with me in the past three years. 】

      】

      Now, what about auntie? What should I do with my grandparents? The five of us depend on each other in a foreign country. 】

    …

    [I met two idiots scolding me, thinking I could not understand English. 】

    [The first time I heard gunshots today, I thought it was firecrackers at first, until my aunt said it was gunshots. 】

    【What is Qin Sishao doing at this time? I decided to finish high school here and go back to college. 】

    [I came back from school today and saw my aunt swearing at home. It has been three hours and she is still swearing, I am afraid. 】

    [My aunt was sent to the hospital by my uncle and aunt. I want to support this family. 】

      , I want to learn from her. 】

      】

    [I moved to live in the small country my grandfather likes. 】

    [I don't understand the language of that country, the local people's English is not very good, it's really tiring to communicate with them. 】

    [Moved again, when will it stabilize? Qin Sishao has already passed the college entrance examination at this time, but I haven't finished high school, and I haven't been to school for a long time. 】

    …

    [Did Qin Sishao study at Tsinghua University or Peking University? If I hadn't gone abroad, if these things hadn't happened at home, I think I could have been admitted to these two schools because I have a better education than most people. 】

      To start over. 】

    【Brave Jiang Chi, learn from Qin Sishao, not afraid of difficulties. 】

    [It was robbed. 】

    [It was robbed again. 】

    [Being robbed of experience, money is not important, life is the most important. 】

    [I finally graduated from high school, but unfortunately I can't go back to China to study at university. 】

     When I return to China, I will cook it for Qin Sishao. Does she still remember me? 】

    [Some discrimination is really terrible, but fortunately rich. 】

    [Today I saw a young couple kissing. The two girls are so beautiful. I hope that Qin Sishao and I can also become a couple one day. 】

    [It's annoying, someone chased me again, but was rejected, and he followed me home, I was scared. 】

      In my heart, my aunt is the most amazing person in the world. 】

      Not that man? Think of the mother I have never met, she loves me very much. 】

    [Grandpa passed away, she said she hoped I would grow up and take him home. 】

    …

      Temper, do not expect him to coax me to comfort me. 】

      】

    【Why haven't you graduated from college yet? 】

      】

    [After negotiating with my brother, he also wants to return to China. 】

    【Give grandpa and grandmother optimistic about the cemetery. 】

    [I will be returning to China recently, and there are a lot of things to deal with. 】

    [Arrived at Nancheng, so busy. 】

      】

    [After thinking about it all night, I still really like Qin Sishao. 】

      】

    【Why can't I **** Qin Sishao over? I was going to rob her, and after living for twenty-five years, I was tempted by her alone. 】

      】

    【She nodded, she agreed to marry me! So happy! 】

    【Why did she marry me? Just because I gave her mother money? Alas, money bought marriage, but not the love I was looking for. 】

    [Get the certificate, I'm married! Happy to fly! 】

    [Qin Sishao doesn't love me, I'm sad. 】

    [I changed a beautiful dress to show her, she didn't even look at me, she didn't love me. 】

    【I have decided, to fight her coldly, isn’t it cold violence? who is afraid of who. 】

    [She doesn't contact me, I'll go home. 】

      】

     】

      】

    When Qin Sishao saw this, the date stayed on the night she and Jiang Chi divorced. The following pages were blank, and Qin Sishao burst into tears.

    In the past ten years, Jiang Chi has been thinking of her and loving her.

     But Jiang died late.

    …

    Qin Sishao locked herself in the room and was so hungry that she ate and drank water. She read a lot of books and searched a lot of information on the Internet.

    She is not a superstitious person, but now she understands those who believe this, because it will make herself feel better, so that she can be comforted.

    She knew very well what kind of women lived in the temple in Yunwu Mountain, they were women who were abandoned by their families and were homeless.

    They live there, farm, and sometimes go down the mountain to find some work to support themselves.

    It is inconvenient to go up and down the mountain, but it provides them with a place to live.

    They have lived there for a long time, and everyone has a common experience. They have gradually fallen in love with it and regarded it as their home.

    They have a home.

    But she has no home.

    She will never have a home.

    Qin Sishao walked to Yunwu Mountain. She went to the temple in the backyard. When worshipping Buddha, she thought, it would be great if there was an afterlife. She wished to use her life for Jiang Chi to live a new life.

    She hopes that the little princess will always be safe and happy, and that there will always be many people who love her and protect her. She is one of these many people, and the little princess does not need to suffer a single bit of suffering in this world.

    --------------------

    The author has something to say:

    The article is all over, thank you for the little cutie chasing the article, thank you.

     (end of book)

    ==