The Lame Dao Priest
Chapter 2
Ch2. The Old Swindler
Raw Translation: Udeze
Proofreader: None
Editors: None
After the old man propped up by me, the crowd gradually dispersed. I pushed my “1258” bicycle and slowly walked the old man to the sidewalk. Three minutes later I said: “This is the way to the police station; you’re not really my grandfather, I was only forced by that situation a short while ago and I really too lazy to argue.”
“Ha, boy, I never thought you’re this smart!.” The old man scratched his ass and continued: “Actually I came to this Qing Tian City to find you, since you have the mark of the Red Arrow fate”.
“Hmmph… you eat your own shit!.” I immediately talked back at him. The teachers were perhaps taught me that I have to respect the elders and care for the young, but this old fogy pretended as my grandfather, and now he scolded me to eat my shit, how could I tolerate this? (T/N, the words spoken by the old man could be misinterpreted as eating your shit, so MC talked back in the same spelled words. 矢命 and 屎命, both spelled as shi ming but has different meaning, the first means fate arrow, the second means, order to eat shit)
“No, no, no, not eat shit, it’s Red Arrow fate.” The old man corrected. “This kind of fate mark is very rare. It’s very difficult to find a person who has this bad luck mark even for hundred years , so you are very suitable to become my apprentice”
I was somewhat impatiently replied: “If you don’t want to go to the police station, then I will go home. But I recommend you to attend a seven-day tour to the mental hospital” (7 day tour means staying)
The old man calmly poked his finger to his nostrils: “I know that you won’t believe what I just said. But let me ask you, since you were born you have always been followed by misfortune, and bad luck always happened to you, right?
My face couldn’t hide the surprise I felt when I heard his words.
The old man continued talking: “Since you were born, no matter how dangerous things happened to you, you didn’t die right? This is the fate of the Red Arrow mark. Bad luck will always followed you until your death. Only by practicing Daoism could you reduce this situation. If you believe me, come to Qing Tian City Park entrance, tomorrow at 3.00 PM, and I’ll be waiting for you there. If you didn’t come, then it can be said that you are not predestined to be my apprentice, afterward, I will not look for you again”. After finished his words, the old man turned back around and walked, however, after several steps he suddenly disappeared.
The scene absolutely scared me shitless. “Ghost!, He must be a ghost! Living people couldn’t be disappeared just like that!” I hurriedly rushed to my bicycle, brutally mounting it and swiftly kicking the pedals rode back home in fear.
…………………………….
The next day in the class, my mind was still occupied by last night scene. That old man looked like he was an old swindler; he even scolded me to eat a “red shit”. But what he was saying to me was thoroughly true. Back in the past years, I had tried to commit suicide by drinking pesticide, and got baptized by high-voltage electricity. But those dangerous accidents couldn’t even take my life. And that old fellow told me to learn Daoism teaching. And now in the end, should I go to the appointment and meet him?
In the afternoon, something unexpected happened.
I arrived in front of the City park entrance at 2:57 PM. A mysterious young man came and approached me: “Zhang Xiaolong?”
“Yes?”
“There is an old man looking for you, but you must convey the secret code before I take you to him”
“What secret code?” I was truly confused, that old swindler didn’t mention about the secret code yesterday.
“Listen, it’s this… if you don’t know how to love the sea… what would be the next sentence?” said the mysterious man.
“I don’t know what’s with this secret code, if you won’t tell me where he is then I’ll leave”.
“Oy,… little brother, don’t worry, I was only joking with you, he is in the haunted house over there, you go see him” after finished speaking the mysterious man left.
I have visited this City Park for a few times, but never visited this haunted house. The reason was very simple, I was timid. However the old swindler was in that haunted house and since I didn’t know the way, I asked all the way to other visitor in the park until I found out the way toward the haunted house.
There was a man sitting on the bench near the entrance to the haunted house, with plaster on his arm and a bandage hanging his arm to the shoulder. I looked at him and found out that the man was not someone’s stranger, he was that old swindler. I went over and said: “Old swindler, how did you look like this?”
“What is with this old swindler? Rude”, he blurted, and continued: “Yesterday when I left you, I walked for a few steps and fell into the sewer, I shouted and called you for a long time, but you didn’t come to save me”.
“Didn’t you say that you would teach me Daoism teaching? How could a Daoist fell into the sewer?”
“Why isn’t it impossible? This old man is marked with Red Arrow fate too, in fact this kind of accident is normal and its light this time!”, the old swindler explained while his hand scratching his ass.
So this old fogy was the same as me, he also has Red Arrow fate, no wonder his luck was also bad.
The old swindler continued: “Practicing Daoism is indeed may reduce this situation. The reason I fell into the sewer last night was because I’m dying and my power is in decline. Without the protection from my power, the bad luck driven by Red Arrow fate couldn’t be avoided. Even so, I wouldn’t be so easy to die, since people born with this Red Arrow fate can only die because of old age, it was almost impossible to die because of illnesses or accidents.
“Old swindler, was what you said really true? But why do I feel that you just ran from the hospital? Tell me your name. I’d like to call the hospital to verify it”. I said.
“Boy… I don’t have anymore time to dally with you since I only have less than 2 hours before leaving for the Netherworld. During this short time, I need you to listen and comprehend everything I tell you as much as possible, it’s about your life mission. Would you mind listening for my story for this one hour?”, the old swindler manner suddenly changed.
“Okay”. I nodded and sat down beside him: “I love listening stories, especially this type of fantasy story”.
“Who told you to sit down beside me? Why didn’t you kneel and kowtow to call me Master?”
I said, “Old swindler, I hadn’t said that I promised you to become your disciple”.
The old swindler replied: “I have neither sons nor daughters, if you worship me as your teacher, then you will be my rightful heir and inherit all my legacies, even my whole life savings is yours”.
“Legacy? Inheritance?” I was slightly interested and asked: “How much money do you have?”
The old swindler replied, “There are 50,000 RMB in cash and 1,5 millions in paper bond”
“Did others owe you 1,5 millions?”
“No”, the old swindler shook his head: “I owe someone 1,500,000 RMB. The cash will be useful to you and you could help me later”.
I stood immediately, turned around and left without hesitation. Originally I thought that my luck had turned into the better; even I could get myself a legacy and inheritance. But it seemed that I would immediately inherit this old fogy’s debt of 1,450,000 RMB if I were to accept his offer.
However as I tried to walk, suddenly I found myself unable to move! My feet seemed to get strangled by something. But when I looked down to my feet, there was nothing at all. The old swindler said: ”Boy, I tell you that you cannot run away today. You must become my apprentice! Who let you to have Red Arrow fate mark? However be at ease. I won’t make you suffer, and although you must repay my debt, I will give something to compensate your efforts. Just kowtow to me as your master and I’ll tell you the way immediately”
“No” I shook my head like crazy and rattled: “If my father knew that I skipped the class and suddenly carried a debt of more than a million RMB, it would be very strange if he didn’t beat me up to death”.
“Xiaolong, you don’t need to worry too much, your teacher can teach you Daoist art. Do you know why you cannot move now? It’s very simple, because a female spirit caught you and held your back”. The old swindler casually said.
“I’m an atheist, I advocate science, and I don’t believe any superstition. This world doesn’t have the so-called Gods, spirits or ghosts. And you, old swindler, release me quickly or I will shout for help!”, I threatened him.
The old swindler took out a bottle made of glass from his black backpack. The bottle filled with some transparent liquid; he twisted the cap, touched some liquid on his finger and rubbed it around my eyes. I struggled and shouted for help, but there’s no sound could be voiced by me. I had been muted. I was very anxious, this old swindler was certainly a trafficker, and he wanted to abduct me as his trafficking goods.
After spreading the liquid around my eyes, the old swindler sat back on the bench and said: “Hey Xiaolong, take a look over there”, he pointed to a certain a direction.
I looked at the direction he pointed and saw a bike was heading toward the old swindler and almost about to hit him. I immediately shouted: “Old swindler, hurry avoid that!”.
The next scene… I swore that I could never forget what was happening now for the rest of my life. That youth and his bicycle just passed over through the old swindler’s body! I was petrified; mouth agape with incredulity and my previously dislocated chin fell again.
That young man shocked and frightened by my sudden shout, he grunted in a low voice, “Damn, this crazy idiot!”, and left. But that old swindler turned around and facing me. His face turned blue as his eyes subsided. He nodded and lightly smiling as if expressing his gratitude.
I was so frightened I took back my eyes, bowed my head and didn’t dare to look at the old swindler again. But the heaven was really took a liking for me as I saw a sinister, hideous woman’s face near my face. Her whole face was completely festered with lots of maggots crawling on the surface. She was wearing a white dress and tightly held my legs.
My eyes immediately dulled, my unstable chin trembled and my lungs stifled, and with tearful weep, cried: “IT’S A GHOST!”
I was originally timid, seeing such an exciting, simulating and breathtaking scene, quickly made me fainted in a horrible peace.
……………………………….
I found myself lying on my bed when I woke up again. I looked at my watch with the help of dim moonlight. It’s already passed 12 am.
Shortly I realized that there was a little girl stood beside my bed. She was about ten years old, wearing a white gown, a loose long hair over her shoulder, a sharp chin, and bright vivid eyes, truly a kind of classical beauty. I rubbed my eyes and half spoken to myself: “It must be a dream, but young lady, you are somewhat look a bit familiar”.
“Would this look be more familiar to you?” she said gently. Her face immediately transformed to a completely festered face with many maggots crawling on it.
I was immediately paralyzed, expressing a face that looked like being constipated, and roared loudly: “IT’S THAT GHOST…!!!”. Although my mouth was opened wide, there was no sound coming out. It turned out that my chin had fallen again and denied my voice. My legs were shivering and trembling, and I was about to urinate and wet my pants. This father was originally timid, added with this female ghost presence that faced me up-close and personal, still maintained my poor sanity and not directly fainted could be said as a wonderful achievement.
Her sleeve wiped her face, and restored her previously normal appearance. She asked gently: “Do you believe that there’s ghost in the world now?
I instantly nodded, with teary eyes and pleading face, begging her to let me go.
She replied in a gentle cordial voice: “Relax, I will not harm you. If you listen to me, I will not scare you. Now you can speak to me, but you cannot shout, or I will scare you every day. Do you understand?”
This crisis situation was so dire and far beyond my abilities, so I hurriedly nodded, assented to her command. I connected my chin first before swallowed my saliva and asked: “Lady, what do you really want? If you want something valuable, I really have nothing. I’m very poor. Or do you want me to introduce you to some handsome guy?”
She instantly turned into that dreadful horror appearance again and quickly said: “I do not need a handsome guy”
I covered my eyes with my hands quickly and said in weeping voice: “You don’t’ want handsome guy! You don’t want a handsome guy! Please hurry back to your previous face again. This is all of my saving, 250 yuan, I’ll give all of my saving to you… as long as you won’t kill and not take my face away, I’ll do everything you say!.” I begged and secretly looked at her through the gap between my fingers. Her face had back to normal appearance again. I took a sigh of relief and laid down my hands.
The female spirit said gently: “You are now the successor disciple of 54th generation of Niu Tian Daoist master, as well as this 54th generation head”
“Wait a minute”, I interrupted: “I only heard about Celestial Master Zhang Daoling who found The Way of Celestial Masters, I’ve never heard about this Bull Celestial Master.” (T/N: Niu=cattle/bull).
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