The Last Snow: Love Me Once Again For A Year

Is he hiding his feelings? Or is he scared because he doesn't want to face my bad temper? Am I really that bad in his eyes?

I admitted that I had been indifferent all this time because I thought that Chunghee would always obey my words. It was like taking advantage of his kindness, so if there were ten people who judge, then everyone would blame me no matter what. 

My feelings really tormented me and this longing seemed to cut my chest. I wanted him to be here — with me like he used to be.

It was so painful. When we were abandoned by our loved ones, it was truly painless. Now I was the only one who was hurt.

After pondering for a while, I thought that I didn't feel relax about being in this place, so I decided to get back on my feet, then went out and grabbed the coat that was lying on the sofa. I immediately put it on and stepped out, leaving the apartment to go to the place that could calm myself from all my chaotic feelings.

Chunghee, how are you? Are you okay? Are you cold out there? Almost every night he said to me, "Donghwa, hug me", and with great affection, I immediately hugged him tightly, warmed him in my arms.

Could I still do that for him?

Even on my way, I couldn't stop thinking about him. He was weak and thin. Would he be okay out there by himself?

A few moments later, I arrived at a bar; the usual place that I often visit when I got anxious or when I was having an argument with Chunghee.

This place was a fancy bar in the middle of District M. But, for me, a place like this was no different from any other nightlife scene out there. It was just the same place that always serving up a mess of people like me with alcohol until they end up getting drunk.

I promised myself and Chunghee, that I wouldn't come to this place again. But, the chaos within me really couldn't make me think clearly for now and was just a compulsion.

I immediately parked my car, then got into this place. It had been almost two months, since I visited this place last time, and there had been many changes that I couldn't express.

"Welcome, Mr. Lee. For a regular customer like you, sir, it has been a long time since you visited this place." A familiar voice greeted and asked, "Did you argue again with your lover?"

Without seeing his face, I already knew that he was the bartender at this place — Jay Nam. We got along quite well, because as he just said, I was a regular customer at this place, starting about two years ago.

However, when I heard his question, I just nodded slowly, then took a sip of the drink in front of me at once and put my head on the table with my hands as support.

"Mr. Lee, would you like vodka or whiskey? I'll treat you tonight." Without moving, I replied lazily, "Anything. It will taste the same to me."

Jay Nam was heard chuckling. "Mr. Lee, it looks like you've been through a lot of hard today. Would you like to tell?

I lifted my head and looked at him, a bastard who kept asking me questions. With a serious, angry look on my face, I started to growl at him and said, "Damn it. Jay, stop asking me—"

Before finishing my sentence, the sound from my cell phone vibrating made my heart also beat fast. I took my cell phone out of my pocket with great enthusiasm and immediately saw the ID of a person who was currently on a call.

However, there was a disappointment when he saw that the ID was Cho Sunyeon. It wasn't Chunghee like I never expected.

My surprised expression immediately turned disappointed, as if falling from the expectations that had made me float.

I kept looking at my cell phone which kept vibrating in my hand but didn't answer the calls from him. When the last call stopped, I immediately stood up and put a few won on the table with a loud sound, which made Jay Nam a little surprised.

"Mr. Lee, are you leaving already? But, you don't have to pay this time ...," Jay Nam shouted behind me, but indifferently, I ignored his words and hurried out of this place.

That wasn't important to give a response. I had more important business which I had to take care of out there than had to listen to him.

Outside, I immediately went to the place where I parked my car and drove the car very fast. I didn't have to waste time on this place anymore.

After a few minutes of driving, I arrived at the downstair of an apartment. I walked to the elevator and pressed the number for the floor I was aiming for, then immediately got out when I arrived. I headed for an apartment numbered 1006 and rang the bell.

A young man opened the door and exclaimed in joy, "Ah, Brother Lee! You're finally here!"

It was Cho Sunyeon. Twenty-five years old. When he saw me, his face became even more excited. He immediately embraced my body tightly. I froze for a moment and looked at him who rested his head on my chest comfortably. However, I didn't feel the same way, and there was slowly resistance within me.

He began to cry in custody, with his hands gripping my coat so tightly. However, the cry wasn't a reason for me to continue to be in his arms. I immediately released his hands that caught me tightly. "I didn't come here to hear you cry. I just want to tell you that from now on, don't ever bother me again."

"Quit that company. I don't want to see you again. But, if you really need a job in a better position, I'll take care of your transfer to Bae's company. Hoonsik will help you." I sighed for a moment before continuing, "If you need a place to stay, then you can stay here. I will compensate you too. I think that will be enough to meet your needs for a year. If you think that isn't enough for you, you can deal with Hoonsik tomorrow. He will cash out for you."

Slowly, he raised his head, looked at me with sadness in his eyes. But, not long after, he embraced me again and spoke in a stifled voice, "I love you. I don't need anything else but you. Don't leave me. Brother Lee, I beg you. Please don't leave me. I'm sorry about that time. If you're angry with me because of coming to you at that time, then I won't do that again. I promise. I won't complain about anything again."

I didn't want to bring that up and came here just to tell him to quit the company. However, because he had just reminded me of the matter, I immediately let go of his hand and looked at him with unconcealed disgust. "There's no need for you to apologize. That's useless. You give your body to the businessmen for free will never change the fact that now, my relationship is broken. So, stop whining like that." With a pause, I continued, "Back then, I'm really angry with you but I just kept holding myself back, so don't make me lose control. Just follow my words. You're nothing more than my pet dog after all."

Cho Sunyeon was startled. He tried to speak, "How can you say that? You've even slept with me countless times over the past three years, then ...."

"Sleeping with you doesn't mean we're lovers. you know that I already have a lover, right? Then why do you still think that I love you too?" Laughing derisively, I continued, "It's been you who always clung to me. I never even intended to make love with you but it was you who forced me. You seduced me by relying on your whore soul. Don't tell me you pretended to be senile about it."

Hearing the reproaches, Sunyeon was speechless. However, his sobs exploded even stronger which made me feel even more disgusted. When seeing him crying, it confirmed that he was the one who was the cause of what had just happened today.

However, I immediately realize that I couldn't completely blame Sunyeon. All of this happened because I was so stupid too.

After saying about that, I immediately left this place to calm down in my apartment in silence.

Sunyeon stopped me several times and cried with pain, but my heart was already dead for someone else, so I left without a care, suppressing my desire to hit his face.

Hearing he cried, made the disgust gather in my fist, and staying there would allow an uncontrollable feeling to control my hand to stop his crying.

Ignored by me, he stopped saying anything until the end.

Now, I only want to build a relationship that had been broken by my own mistakes, and kicking him out was the first way to fix everything.