The Last Snow: Love Me Once Again For A Year

Enduring the excruciating pain in my head, I suddenly felt my body drifting. I tried to open my eyes difficulty, yet what I could see was only a vague figure. I couldn't see his expression clearly as if I saw an object in the murky water. 

Afterward, I felt my body was put on something comfortable and I immediately recognized that I was on the bed.

My body seemed paralyzed but I knew that I was still in a semi-conscious state. However, because of the headache, my mind started thinking about something strange and unclear, like I was dreaming but I knew that I was dreaming. I felt that I was in my house now, being alone to endure this pain as usual, and hoping that Donghwa would worry about me.

"Brother Lee ... Brother Lee ... come home ... please ... come home ... it hurts so much ..."

Even though the pain seemed running through my body like an electric shock that made every organ of my body try hard to keep functioning, I couldn't stop thinking about Donghwa who was currently overworked instead of spending time with me at home.

At this time, I just wanted him to come home, accompanying me who was half-dying — I just wanted him to be by my side.

However, suddenly a warm, strong, and big hand, gripping my hand tightly along with a deep voice that sounded gentle but filled with sadness, "I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. Don't worry."

As soon as I heard those words, some of my lost consciousness immediately gathered and made me aware of all the things that I had been going through these days. I remembered that I was no longer with Donghwa but Daehyun.

Instantly I opened my eyes. With a blurry gaze, I shifted my eyes sideways, looking at the figure of a man who was holding my hand. Guilt suddenly appeared in my heart.

It was Daehyun. He had heard me mention the name of someone I had left behind and I knew how he felt, just by hearing his voice.

It turned out that what I just experienced was a hallucination and made someone just hurt. I couldn't forgive myself.

I felt so guilty and feeling my tears flow not only brought pain to my body, but also my heart.

"Sorry ... I'm sorry ...."

I could do nothing but apologize hoarsely. My tears were choked in my throat and, with trembling lips, I painstakingly tried to say the words as clearly as I could.

My consciousness gradually began to disappear, then fainted. As soon as I opened my eyes, the blinding light made me squint. I weakly turned my head to the side and saw Daehyun sitting on the other side of the bed with his back facing me.

My throat felt dry. As soon as I spoke, my voice was heard hoarse, "Daehyun ... why are you still here?"

Hearing my voice, Daehyun turned his head. Smiling, but his eyes were gloomy. He stood up and moved to the side where I was lying, then sat down next to me. He stroked my hair, saying gently, "I can't leave you alone like this."

"Now, I'm fine. You can go."

He paused, thinking of something before saying persuasively, "Come with me to Seoul. You have to continue your medical treatment. If you get sick again, I can't do anything. I'm not a doctor who can—"

"Daehyun, you're going to be late for work. You should go now. I'll be fine," I interrupted.

Daehyun sighed languidly. "Why won't you listen to me? Just this once, please, listen to me. After you do surgery and chemotherapy, you can do whatever you want."

I didn't want to argue, thus I pulled the blanket, wrapping my whole body in it.

"Chunghee, why are you so mean to me?" He paused, staring at me sorrowfully. As he added, he relented, "Okay then. Call me if you need anything. In the living room, there's a phone you can use."

Daehyun opened the blanket that covered my face. He smiled and was about to kiss me, but suddenly stopped before his lips touched my forehead. He looked at me for a moment before standing up. He walked out of the bedroom door and before the door closed, he said, "Take care of yourself, okay?"

"Wait!"

I got out of the bed immediately, walking over to him. When I was right in front of him, I embraced him tightly. "Will you be back for dinner?" I asked.

"No."

I lifted my chin, looking at him in disappointment. "Why?"

"I have lots of work to do today. So, get some rest early." He smiled.

I let go of my embrace, staring at him silently without a word. To be honest, I still felt guilty and thought that I should treat him well from now on.

I didn't give any response and just showed a smile, staring at his two eyes that reflected the alexandrite stone luster with an unbelievably noble aura around him, yet inconspicuous and prominent.

Overall, he looked calm, hinting a kindness.

"I go first," he said.

Daehyun stepped downstairs. I headed for the European-style window, standing behind the window, gazing at him until he was getting in the car.

My mind suddenly became irritated as soon as I realized that I had hurt that man's feelings too many times, yet he still wanted to be with me. If he was a bad guy when I rejected him, he would go away and not even care about my situation anymore, but he didn't do it. Even when I kicked him out, he still insisted on accompanying me, sacrificing his time, and taking care of me. His affection wasn't a joke that should be played with.

The car drove up and immediately disappeared from my sight. I clutched my chest, feeling the guilt swell up in my chest.

There's a saying, that the people who hurt the most were the ones who felt guilty easily. It was true. I even felt how suffering I was, bearing two physical and mental burdens at the same time. When I had to fight against an illness, I also had to endure heartache but besides that, I already hurt someone's feelings.

I unconsciously muttered softly, "Daehyun, why don't you just give up ... how can I repay you?"

This thought was like a flood coming out of a broken dam. Everything happened all of a sudden and was painful.

I inhaled and exhaled repeatedly to relax.

Calming down, I walked out onto the stairs.

Downstairs, I intended to clean up the leftovers on the dining table, but everything looked clean. Daehyun seemed to clean everything up when I fainted so I decided to go upstairs again and take a shower.

Before going into the bathroom, I stared at the ring on my finger and couldn't help but stroke it. I read a short sentence that was engraved meaningfully on it and smiled bitterly.

Back then, no sentence was more meaningful than this. But, now, the sentence was the most painful for me.

There was a beautiful thing that had just crossed my mind and was erased by disappointments right away.

"Donghwa, there is someone who loves me sincerely, but I can't forget you for a second. You are indeed a person who likes to make me suffer, huh?" I whispered to myself.

I took off the ring and put it on the bedside table, then went into the bathroom.

Under the shower, I asked myself: why am I still wearing the ring? Isn't it useless? Donghwa already took it off, then why didn't I do the same?

I lowered my head, imagining our togetherness when we were young, imagining two innocent and stupid young men who made many promises at that time. Then I thought about the time when I had to decide to leave.

Probably, if he chased me when I was about to leave, I would think about giving him another chance and starting a new relationship once again.

However, he didn't even do it and didn't even say my name at that time.

He just let me go and ... simply said, that he would never come after me again.

It was enough to prove that our relationship ended up ...

I tried hard not to regret anything. But, I couldn't lie to myself that I regretted hearing something that I didn't want to hear.

'So now you want to go to his side, huh?! Do you think I'm going to chase you?! You take one more step, so don't ever expect that I will chase you! Don't expect me to open the door for you when you come back!'

When those words came to my mind, they seemed to hit my head.

"You accuse me like that, even though I never meant to do it myself. Now, I'm completely by his side. Do you regret it now?"

From the depth of my heart, I wanted to see Donghwa's face one more time before I could no longer open my eyes. However, besides, I was also terrified that it would only repeat the difficult situation between the two of us.