The Law of Averages

"Why am I driving out to the suburbs, Newman?" Graham's voice was as pompous and demanding as ever. Dan almost hung up the phone on reflex, but fought through his exasperation. The younger man had earned a bit of tolerance.

"I think I've found a better training space for us," he said, glancing back at the magnificent miniature castle. He had parked himself in the front yard for this conversation, sitting in the small patch of grass between the circle drive and the street. Abby lay slightly behind him, splayed out on the grass.

"In the middle of a neighborhood?" Graham queried doubtfully.

Dan rolled his eyes. "It's a house."

Graham's reply was immediate. "I'm not interested in co-signing a loan for you, Newman."

"Hilarious." Dan drawled, massaging his brow. This conversation was only barely worth the irritation. He searched for a way to explain the situation in a way that Graham might accept. "The house has a bit of an odd appearance and an odder history, and I'd like to hear your opinion on it. I mean, you wouldn't want to come over and spar inside a place that you hate, right?"

"I suppose there's some sense in that, and I'm positive that I've better taste than you." Graham sounded considering. "I am willing to assist you in this."

Dan sighed, drawing a snort from Abby. "Goody. I'm also giving Gregoir a call, so expect him to be here as well."

"What!? You can't just spring something like that on me, Newman!" Graham exclaimed. Dan held the phone away from his ear as the younger man's voice rose to a glass-shattering pitch. "He is an esteemed law enforcement officer! What if I was poorly dressed to receive him?!"

Dan gave the question as much consideration as it deserved. "That's probably not an issue that Gregoir cares about."

"That's— Perhaps you are correct." Graham huffed into the speaker. His next words were slightly affronted. "Anyone else participating in this little get together that I should know about?"

"Well, feel free to bring Freya along if you'd like. Abby is here, so you can both brown-nose her."

"You brought Ms. Summers along with you for house shopping?" Graham yelped indignantly. His voice was loud enough for Abby to hear, and she dissolved into a fit of giggles.

"It was her idea!" Dan protested defensively. With his free hand, he gestured futilely for Abby to quiet down. "She's helping me with the paperwork side, because I've never done this before."

There was a brief silence.

"I'm sorry, I must have misheard you," Graham said slowly. "Are you saying that you have the granddaughter of Anastasia Summers acting as your realtor?"

Well, that wasn't exactly an inaccurate description.

"I guess? Why?"

A long moment passed, filled with silence.

"Graham?" Dan asked, feeling somewhat concerned. Did the idiot crash? "You okay?"

"I'm fine, Newman," Graham managed, his voice sounding oddly strained. "Just... lamenting the injustice of the universe. I'll talk to Freya, and we'll be there shortly."

Click.

Huh.

Dan shrugged.

That seemed to go well.

"Gregoir, how are you?" Dan spoke into his phone, filled with trepidation. He'd never actually called the gregarious viking, despite having the man's number for... months, really.

"I am well, Daniel! Are you enjoying yourself on this fine day?" Gregoir's personality was overwhelming, no matter the distance. Dan, in his infinite wisdom, had positioned the phone a good three feet away from his ear.

He still winced.

Ignoring Abby's muttered, "Holy crap," Dan idly turned the volume to minimum, before answering the question.

"I'm keeping busy, Gregoir, thanks for asking." He paused for a beat, half-expecting another joyous proclamation, before proceeding with his request. "Look, I'm thinking about buying a house and—"

"Congratulations, Daniel!" Gregoir interrupted, his voice somehow transcending time, space, and technological limitations, to blow out Dan's eardrums. Abby yelped and fell backwards. "That is a tremendous responsibility that you are taking upon yourself! I commend you!"

Well, darn. Tinnitus was an inevitability by this point. Why fight it?

"Rrright," Dan drawled, once his ears stopped ringing. "Anyway, I was hoping you could swing by and take a look at the one I'm interested in. When you have a moment, I mean."

"Of course I can! What is the address?"

Dan gave it to him.

"A brilliant choice my friend! I shall be there shortly!"

Click

Dan stared blankly at the phone, then turned towards a shell-shocked Abby.

"That was simple," he remarked, watching her slowly regain her senses.

Her eyes slowly blinked. "That was Gregoir?" She looked like someone had whacked her over the head with a mallet.

Dan nodded. It was hard to do Gregoir's personality justice with just words, but he had given it a go. Abby should have been moderately prepared, though it seems that she had thought him joking.

"He's exactly as you described," Abby said in disbelief. One of her hands slowly massaged the ear facing him.

Dan grinned, stretching his smile to show teeth. "Just wait till you meet him in person."

Abby whimpered.

Graham was the first to arrive, pulling up to the mini-castle in a sleek black sports car. He quickly exited the vehicle, stepping around to the passenger side, opening the door, and offering his hand to the occupant. The young man was dressed to impress, wearing a stylishly tailored blazer over a white button-down and black pants.

Freya stepped smoothly out of the car, clearly not needing assistance but gently clasping on to the proffered limb all the same. She was dressed less officially than Graham, though her blouse and jeans were both brand names. The blonde valkyrie spared a brief smile for her intended, before turning her gaze to the house just beyond her.

"Interesting design," she commented neutrally, eyes swiveling to Dan. "Newman."

"Freya," Dan replied with a polite nod. Though he'd nearly always called Graham by his last name, Dan would be caught dead before ever referring to someone as 'Valentine'.

"Good afternoon, Newman, Miss Summers," Graham declared loudly, bounding up to Freya's side. He placed his hand on her lower back, gesturing to Abby. "Darling, have you met Miss Summers? She is Newman's..." He glanced between the two of them, clearly evaluating their current status, "good friend." A gentle nudge had Freya stepping forward, a mix of irritation and fond amusement on her face.

Abby seemed to be holding back a sigh, but smiled gracefully nonetheless. She extended her hand to Freya. "Freya Valentine, right? Danny has spoken about you." The latter comment held a hint of challenge to it.

Freya raised an elegant eyebrow, taking Abby's hand. "My Connor has done the same, Miss Summers. It's good to meet you." Her words were factual, but her voice was sympathetic.

Abby's lip quirked upwards. The two alpha females shared a commiserating look, a silent conversation about the idiocy of their respective men passing in an instant. The moment ended, and the two stepped back, a comfortable understanding in place between them.

The men remained oblivious, and any hints they might have picked up in the aftermath were utterly obliterated by the arrival of Gregoir.

The blonde viking roared onto the scene in a police issue cruiser, a monstrous muscle car that resembled a Dodge Charger on steroids, crossbred with a grizzly bear. Whatever v8 parallel that had been entrenched beneath the hood rumbled like a collapsing mountain, sending vibrations through the concrete sidewalk. Gregoir parked the beast behind Graham's ride, his Grizzly Charger utterly dwarfing its neighbor. The engine was cut, not puttering out so much as letting loose a disappointed roar, and Gregoir's massive form stepped out of the driver's seat.

The car suited him, Dan decided.

Gregoir wore the same uniform that Dan had come to associate him with, dressed in police blues and a Kevlar vest. The big fellow waved wildly from his position next to his car, and his voice rang out loud enough to wake the neighborhood.

"Greetings my young friends! What a glorious afternoon we have been gifted with!" The booming greeting was followed by several long strides up the driveway, toward their little gathering.

Freya and Graham both snapped to attention, with Graham's back going ramrod straight. Abby between the two of them with visible amusement.

Dan merely rolled his eyes, greeting the French viking. "Gregoir, I didn't realize you were on duty."

"A police officer's duty never ends, Daniel!" Gregoir replied, thumping a fist against his chest. The impact was hard enough to ruffle the grass as he passed, and Graham's eyes shone with admiration.

Dan didn't know how literally to take the older man's statement, so he let it be. Instead, he gestured to Abby, who stiffened in betrayal. "Haaaave you met Abby?"

The big man lit up like a Christmas tree, crossing the distance in two enormous strides. His footsteps shook the concrete slabs that made up the sidewalk, and small motes of dust scattered across the lawn. Gregoir ignored all of this, opting instead to sketch a formal bow in front of a bewildered Abby, flashing a broad smile filled with pearly white teeth.

"Greetings, young miss! I am officer Gregoir Pierre-Louis, sworn officer of the Austin Police Department!" In such close quarters, he actually moderated his voice. Rather than being deafened and concussed, Abby was simply pushed back a step.

She regained her balance quickly, giving the giant a brief smile. "Abby Summers. Nice to meet you, officer. Dan's told me all about you."

"OH!" Gregoir exclaimed, swooning backwards with a hand over his heart. His free arm swept behind him to wrap around the shoulders of Daniel, dragging him forward. "My friend! I'm honored that you have mentioned me to your lovely paramour!"

Abby's expression wavered between morbid embarrassment at Gregoir's proclamation and hysterical laughter at Dan's predicament. His face was squashed against Gregoir's massive pecs, firmly held in place by arms the size of steel beams. The massive blonde rocked him back and forth, lifting him bodily off his feet, before setting him down once more. A meaty hand clapped down on Dan's back, sending him stumbling forward to Abby's side.

"Blossoming love is a beautiful thing!" Gregoir cried emotionally. He spun to face the younger couple nearby, who had watched his display with bemusement. They straightened under his watchful eye.

With a sweep of his arm to include them, he asked, "Don't you agree Mr. Graham!? Miss Valentine!?"

Graham, who had taken a much more worshipful stance on Gregoir since his rescue, leapt to answer. "Of course, sir! A wonder to behold!" His head nodded furiously, while his elbow softly nudged Freya.

The statuesque blonde rolled her eyes, but complied with the unspoken request. "Yes, Officer Gregoir." Despite her dry voice, her posture did not loosen in the slightest.

The officer beamed joyously, spinning back to Dan and opening his mouth, presumably to shout more encouragement of some sort. Dan forestalled these efforts by jerking a thumb towards his prospective home.

"Whaddya think?" he asked curiously.

Gregoir adapted admirably, his eyes quickly examining the house in its entirety. His smile, somehow, widened. "A worthy edifice! What magnificent design!"

Dan suddenly felt a great surge of fondness for Gregoir.

"I must admit, however," Gregoir continued, turning to Dan, "I am uncertain what advice you hoped for me to give. Surely the quality of this domicile is indisputable?"

"I feel the same," Graham agreed instantly. "Having seen the building, there is clearly enough room for our spars. It might be ug— uh," he stammered mid-sentence, glancing to Gregoir, "a unique looking home, but I certainly do not hate it. From your words on the phone, I was expecting a dilapidated shack."

Dan didn't know if he should feel offended or not. It was entirely possible that a dilapidated shack would be preferable in Graham's eyes, after he heard the history of the place. Better to rip the band-aid off fast, and get it over with.

"A vigilante owned this house," Dan stated matter-of-factly. "A villain found out about it at some point in time, and murdered him a few years back. The place is going for dirt cheap, which is why I'm thinking about buying it, but if it weirds any of you out, I'd prefer to find about it now." Dan waved a hand at the four gathered individuals. "You are, collectively, pretty much my entire social circle. I'd like to know your opinions."

Dan braced himself, fully expecting Gregoir to burst into tears, or make a dramatic proclamation. Contrary to these expectations, the giant blonde was staring contemplatively at the house before him. A deep, rumbling noise emerged from his chest, which Dan quickly realized was actually a considering hum. With no comment forthcoming from the officer, he turned to Graham, raising an eyebrow.

The younger man opened his mouth uncertainly, glancing towards Gregoir. His betrothed rolled her eyes, dragging her man backwards and stating, "Of course it 'weirds us out', Newman." Freya made air quotes around the phrase. "It's weird. A violent criminal lived in that house, and was then murdered by another violent criminal. What exactly were you expecting us to say?"

Dan frowned. "You don't know that the guy was violent."

"All vigilantes are violent," Freya replied with an irritated huff. "If they weren't violent, then they wouldn't be labeled vigilantes. With what do you think they fought their fellow criminals? Harsh language?"

That... made sense, in an odd sort of way. When Dan heard the words 'violent criminal,' he didn't tend to imagine a vigilante, but he supposed this was just another cultural difference.

"That said," Freya continued blandly, "one should never let their personal bias's come between them and a good deal. If others are too afraid to purchase this abomination, whether from fear of the dead, or a loss of face, then by all means, take advantage of their irresolution. It's not as if you have any particular standing in this community. There is no risk to your reputation that I can see."

"Huh." Dan couldn't help but stare at Freya, as the young woman spoke more words at one time, than he'd heard from her in weeks. "I figured you'd be more put off by the vigilante thing."

"Oh, it is detestable," Freya agreed heartlessly. "Good riddance to the man; I'm sure he reaped what he sowed."

Gregoir's head snapped over to her, and she stiffened under his gaze.

"Now now, Miss Valentine, none of that," he... murmured! Something fierce hovered in the giant man's eye, resolute and overwhelming. He seemed to swell in size, looming over the assembled mortals, divine in his splendor. His voice was the avalanche, iressistible, irrefutable.

"We do not celebrate death," he rumbled gently, the sound seemingly shaking the earth. He slowly turned to face a rapidly paling Freya. "Criminal or no, a life lost should never bring us joy."

Freya, to her credit, only backed down a fraction. Her next words were respectful, but firm. "Perhaps not celebrate, but surely we should feel relief at the elimination of a threat to society."

"He was... technically inactive," Dan pointed out cautiously, a little unnerved by Gregoir's change in temperament. He was rapidly approaching Granny Terminator levels of intimidation.

"It does not matter!" Gregoir replied sharply. "When death comes for another, all we should feel is sadness at the necessity. As a sworn officer, it is my duty to protect and serve all citizens. Should you take up our mantle, it will become your duty as well. It is only through our failures that events are ever allowed to progress to such a state, and we must bear that burden faithfully."

Freya seemed doubtful, unconvinced by his self-sacrificing rhetoric.

"Surely, a criminal's death can only be a boon to society. Especially a vigilante's, whose recklessness—" she attempted to protest.

But Gregoir interrupted. "There are those who cannot not act, when confronted by injustice. Men and women, driven by a feeling greater than themselves! All vigilantes are criminals, this is true, but not all criminals are vigilantes. There is a reason this distinction exists. Their goal's are admirable, if not their method of execution."

The younger blonde subsided at his words, reluctantly admitting, "That may be true. However, it does not excuse their actions, nor the consequences of such."

"Of course not!" Gregoir replied. "However, it is ultimately our duty to show these misguided souls the proper way forward! I ask you, Miss Valentine, if not us, then who?"

"That is... an interesting perspective," Freya commented thoughtfully. She didn't seem particularly swayed, but she made no further comment.

Graham, at her side, was staring at her with an odd mix of adoration, horror and more than a little desire. It was a very disturbing expression.

"But I digress!" Gregoir clapped his hands together jollily, and his intimidating presence faded into the wind. "Come, Daniel! Let us explore this house that you have found!"

He bounded off in the direction of the front door, leaving the rest of the group to follow helplessly in his wake.