The Male Lead With A Split Personality Is Trying to Kill Me

Translated by Wook
Edited by Wook

Seniel tried to experiment as usual.

If only someone hadn’t entered his room.

The door opened without knocking. Seniel thought the sound of the door opening was just a hallucination. He was the only one who would come in here, and no one had ever entered this room before.

So he ignored the sound and continued what he was doing.

“… Seniel?”

But he couldn’t ignore the voice that followed. Seniel raised his head with his brows furrowed in concentration.

Suddenly, the papers he was holding fell to the floor.

“…”

Seniel’s wrinkled eyes widened in embarrassment. He didn’t even think to pick up the papers that had fallen on the floor and froze. He didn’t even seem to be aware of the fact that he had dropped the papers.

As if he had forgotten to breathe, Seniel stopped on the spot and stared at Vivi endlessly.

Until Vivi approached the dropped papers, he couldn’t do anything.

Vivi bent down to pick up the papers, but her shoulders trembled. 《Holy Power and Reaction Characteristics of Poisons》, the title was too blatant.

Vivi came to her senses and tried to pick up the papers again. But it was in vain. By a hair’s breadth, Seniel rushed and grabbed the papers faster.

Seniel’s red eyes trembled. He hesitated, taking a step back. Had she seen the contents? Vivi’s silence made his mouth dry.

He couldn’t even think of an excuse. He just looked at the person in front of him as if he couldn’t believe it.

Why is Vivi here… How? Since when?

Numerous questions filled his mind. The questions continued one after another, then stopped suddenly.

He felt the need to hide all of these belatedly.

A large hand with swollen veins hurriedly tried to hide the drugs and ingredients. But it was an amount that could not be hidden.

So Seniel stopped doing it and moved closer to Vivi so she couldn’t see it.

It wasn’t until he covered her sight with his body that he regretted it belatedly.

If he had made the excuse that it was nothing, that it was just one of the high priest’s duties, it would have ended quickly.

However, he had no time for such rational thoughts. He, of course, had only regrets now. He couldn’t rectify this situation now because his head was bleached from the shame that his disgrace was revealed.

‘I wonder if she’s seen it all.’

“Seniel, what is all this?” Vivi’s calm voice seemed to ask, already knowing what he was doing. Seniel’s mouth didn’t open.

Because he didn’t want her to see him doing such a trifle. Seniel’s eyes flushed. He wondered if she would belittle him.

Besides, he himself had made a promise to Vivi. He’d said he would be helpful.

Vivi looked up at Seniel, who looked like he was about to crumble. The silence sank brutally heavy.

***

On the carriage ride home after the recital, I noticed that Seniel looked particularly happy.

He was a bit more excited than usual.

To the point where I wondered if he was such a lively person. Would Seniel, who had a happy ending in the original story, be like this?

However, as soon as he got off the carriage, the youthful vitality in Seniel’s eyes disintegrated.

A faint smile signaled the unusual atmosphere. It felt like he was cut off from the world in an instant.

Past events flashed through my mind from noticing Seniel’s mood.

‘… It bothers me.’

My reasoning, based on survival instinct, shouted. Nothing happened. Let’s just move on. There’s nothing good in being more deeply entangled.

My footsteps on the stairs stopped abruptly.

‘Why stop? What are you going to say once you hold and stop him?’

Cried my reasoning again. That was a pretty reasonable statement.

‘… Yes. What’s the point of looking for him?’

I tried to put my uneasy feelings behind me.

“Damn it.”

What if a puppy who always whines and sheds tears pretends not to be sick and hides in the corner? Of course I should go find it.

I felt exactly the same now.

Seniel’s contrived smile was drawn before my eyes and then disappeared.

I bit my lips tightly. This time, he was not a good boy but a bad boy.

***

I came as soon as possible, but I didn’t know if this was the right choice.

When I came to my senses, I was in front of Seniel’s door. But I couldn’t bear to go in, so I just hung around the door.

I couldn’t decide what to talk about when I went in. I thought I would just go back like this, but I couldn’t walk easily.

As someone who had taken away his happy ending, could I go to him, who was already having a hard time? Maybe I’d only be a needless burden.

To be honest. Survival was my priority, so I was in no position to go through the fire.

If Seniel looked uneasy, all I had to do was convince him not to do anything dangerous. If I felt he was doing something unnecessary, I had to stop him.

So why was I so hesitant?

‘I feel sorry.’

I felt increasingly sorry to take advantage of someone on the brink of collapse. It was just for my survival, but it was hard to ignore him even though I knew it was weird.

I didn’t want to be attached to him.

I bit my lips and glared at the innocent door.

I couldn’t delay any longer. Eventually, I stopped walking in the hallway. After taking a deep breath, I timidly knocked on the door.

“Seniel, it’s me.”

There was no reaction from inside, despite the intense tension. No response was what I expected.

“Seniel?”

I knocked once more, but I didn’t hear a single sign. So I opened the door. There was no one. The emptiness drained my shoulders.

 I tried to go outside, thinking it was a waste. When I scratched my cheek because I felt embarrassed…

‘Did Seniel have somewhere to go?’

Suddenly, such a question occurred to me. Seniel, who was extremely reluctant to meet people, had nowhere to go except his room and the temple.

Maybe it’s just a nonsensical question. Since Seniel is also a human being, he could have gone for a walk because he was frustrated, or he could have managed the servants or had to do other things within the mansion.

But should I say I got a hunch? A feeling of discomfort rose from the tip of my foot.

When I was loitering near Seniel’s room, I remembered what I saw in the original.

‘Ah. No way.’

Fearing that I might be overthinking it, I couldn’t bear to move. After accusing my thoughts of speculation, I tried to head back to my room.

‘… But just in case.’

Far from returning, I was already steadily moving my steps to that place in the original story.

My reasoning shook its head resolutely and asked awkward questions.

It’s a place only Seniel knows about. What if you actually run into him? You’re going to say that you came in because you saw the light out of the window? Will such sloppy words work?

It’d be better if you said he doesn’t look well these days during dinner. It is more reasonable to ask for an honest answer if something is wrong.

Even though I knew what was more reasonable, my steps did not stop. To be precise, as if possessed by something, my body kept being drawn.

‘I’m just checking. If Seniel isn’t there, the door won’t open. It’s a place you can only enter with a key.’

Eventually, I arrived at Seniel’s simple laboratory. It was a place where the bedroom was converted into a laboratory to avoid Kid’s eyes.

Contrary to the time I hesitated in front of Seniel’s door, I grabbed the doorknob and pushed. I didn’t know what kind of courage I had.

The door was wide open. As I expected that there might be Seniel in here, when the door really opened, I froze in panic.

‘Why is this open?’

The door was opened easily even though I didn’t give any more strength. It opened wide by itself. The room was clearly visible.

The room’s view suffocated me.

Except for the wall with the window, all the walls were lined with bookshelves filled with books, papers on one wooden desk, and laboratory supplies such as flasks on the other.

‘Seniel…’

Whether it was a misfortune or a relief, Seniel concentrated on the experiment without knowing that the door had been opened. It was the first time I saw him concentrating, his forehead furrowing.

His face was so different from usual that one could mistake him for Kid for a moment. He wasn’t the Seniel I knew.

Concentrating only on the experiment, he ironically seemed like he would disappear into smoke at any moment.

I should be angry because he broke his promise to me. And apart from anger, I shouldn’t have thought of holding him. If Seniel becomes smoke and disappears, I will be freed from all this pain immediately.

But it was strange. It occurred to me that I had to grab Seniel, who was about to disappear to the ground, right away. I became nervous, even though I knew best that this experiment would never succeed.

“… Seniel?”

So I called him without realizing it.

Tuk! The paper Seniel was holding fell to the floor. When my eyes met his flustered eyes, I thought, Oh dear.

It would’ve been wiser to subtly ask him not to do anything dangerous in the dining hall.

I made a ridiculous mistake in my strange feelings.

Seniel was so surprised that he couldn’t even pick up the papers that had fallen on the floor.

I should pretend I didn’t see anything, say he seemed busy, and leave. But as if possessed by something, I entered the room.

Even in the middle of it, I thought this shouldn’t be shown to others, so I closed the door properly.

The further I went inside, the tighter the air. Unidentified bottles with skull markings stood out.

Without realizing it, I raised my hand and tried to pick up the documents that Seniel had dropped.

《Holy Power and Reaction Characteristics of Poisons》

However, my hand hesitated because of the letters at the top. Seniel hurriedly picked up the papers as if he had come to his senses.

I belatedly straightened my back.

When our gazes met in the air, I saw Seniel’s eyes reddened. Oh, I didn’t mean to make him cry.

What had I come here for? Why had I come?

I should pretend I didn’t see it, but my body wouldn’t listen. I should say something, but my lips didn’t move.

Seniel tried to hide the experiment tool with a hasty touch, probably coming to his senses belatedly. Then he shook his head slightly and stood in front of me.

I spoke first in the suffocating silence.

“Seniel… what is all this?”

Why? Since when did he do this experiment? He promised to stop.

I had the desire to confront him, but more than that…

“Nothing. It’s nothing.”

I was upset. I didn’t know why I was upset. Hearing Seniel’s voice trembles as if he was about to cry doubled my irritation.

“If it’s nothing, can I break everything?”

My voice came out rough. I didn’t mean to say this. Seniel’s eyelashes trembled.

How did you come here and why? Seniel didn’t ask such a thing. All he said was—

“… No.”

…was such a feeble refusal.

“Why?”

Seniel’s eyes were empty. He didn’t even have the spirit to make excuses.

“Because this is the only way.”

Suddenly, tears fell. There were long tear marks on his cheeks.

I wanted to ask how this was the only way, pretending not to know. But soon Seniel solved the question.

“…”

He stepped aside. The experiments were captured in my eyes. I saw papers and drugs on the desk.

Even an ignorant person could tell that this was a place where poison was made.

It was a poison that was so dangerous that even holy power wouldn’t work.

As if he had administered it directly to his body, there were many side effects and failure cases. It was as shocking as the material I saw in the basement.

“I’m sorry. However, I… I wanted to save you.”

I seemed to know the cause of my upset heart.

My survival was threatened by being on Seniel’s side. I couldn’t help but fret every day because of Seniel’s presence…

He was such a good person that he wanted to save me.

During the day, he was a person who could smile so prettily.

The fact that I had taken away the happiness of a man who lived a poor life made me feel very guilty. However, I couldn’t give up my life in vain.

Both Seniel and I were madly upset that we were in a situation that could not be easily resolved with willpower alone.

This feeling of pity for Seniel drove me crazy.

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