TMLP Ch. 86 — Something That Couldn’t be Said

Summer began with the garden changing color to dark green.

The duties of the imperial family had also stabilized to some extent, and I often strolled in the garden with Caesar.

“I heard that Yulika Brande went to the duke’s residence.”

“How do you know that?”

“I have my eyes and ears everywhere.”

“You’re like a stalker.” I frowned, and Caesar burst into laughter.

“Did you know Yulika Brande was kicked out of the family?”

“Well… I’ve never heard of this before.”

“I think the count is too much. No matter how angry he is, she’s his only daughter.”

“Well. Maybe he didn’t think Yulika Brande would really leave the house?” Not knowing what that meant, I looked at Caesar. Caesar smiled lightly at my gaze and added a supplementary explanation. “She has no place to go even if he kicks her out of the house, so he may have hoped that she would become a daughter who listens to him again, begging him that she was wrong.”

“That’s true… It might have been like that for the old Yulika.” Because she was a woman who followed the life her parents had set for her, but she is different now. Yulika was now a person who could make her own choices.

Even if it comes with much greater responsibility and fear.

“So where is Yulika Brande and what is she doing now?”

“She has decided to work as a librarian for the magic guild. She must have reached Liun by now.”

“A magic guild? How did you come into contact with a place like that?”

“Didn’t I tell you before that I sent Agoth to investigate about ‘Noe Lable’? I knew someone through it.”

“Hmm. Is it a man?” Caesar’s eyes narrowed.

Are you asking me that first? I, too, narrowed my eyes and glared at Caesar.

“It is a man.”

“… Jealousy would be disgraceful, so I won’t ask anymore.”

“For your information, he’s at the duke’s residence now.”

“Great. Now I have a justification to get rid of him.”

“Calm down, Your Majesty.”

Caesar was about to draw his sword, so I quickly put my hand on the handle of the sword worn over my dress.

Caesar looked at my reaction with an absurd look.

“At a time like this, shouldn’t you hold me to stop me? How could you think of pulling a sword, too?”

“Isn’t it natural to block a sword with a sword?”

“If I had known it would be like this, I would not have allowed you to wear your sword.” Caesar put his finger on his forehead and lamented.

I put the half-drawn sword back into the scabbard and smiled.

Then, behind my back, a gasp was heard.

When I glanced back, the attendants who had been following me from a distance met my eyes and hurriedly bowed their heads.

Well. Somehow, I had a foreboding feeling that a rumor would circulate within the imperial palace tomorrow that ‘His Majesty and the princess pulled out their swords first in their love fight.’

“Anyway, let him out.”

At Caesar’s words, my mind, which had been distracted, returned to him.

“He said he had nowhere else to go.”

“I’ll ask Hamilton to arrange a place to stay.”

“Are you really jealous?” I covered my mouth with one hand and smiled. At my somewhat teasing words, Caesar groaned. The tips of his ears turn red.

Wow, what is this? Why are you so cute? I really want to eat you up.

“What kind of man would turn a blind eye to the presence of an outsider at his fiancée’s house?”

“But these days I mostly live in the imperial palace.” I slowly reached out and took Caesar’s hand. Caesar flinched and looked at me. I smiled softly at him. “I live closer to you than him.”

Right? I tilted my head and looked up from below, and Caesar shook his head.

“Oh, my God. Who taught you that?”

“What are you going to do?”

“Give them a big compliment.” Caesar smiled as he held my hand tighter.

Alright, looks like the pout is gone. What a simple guy.

Our atmosphere changed to peace again, and the faces of the attendants who had followed from a distance straightened up.

“Sigh. I can’t do this. We need to set a wedding date soon,” said Caesar in a slightly excited voice.

Without realizing it, I groaned.

I had completely forgotten. We haven’t had a wedding yet.

At my sigh, Caesar looked at me with one eyebrow raised.

“What’s wrong?”

“Well… Your Majesty. About the wedding.”

“Dismissed.”

“But I haven’t said anything yet.”

“When you make such a face and stretch your words, it’s because you’re trying to ask me an unpleasant favor.”

“Ugh.”

As expected, he’s quick-witted.

“I would like the wedding to be held later, Your Majesty.”

“You make me say it twice. That idea will be dismissed.”

“You won’t even listen to the reason?”

“Isn’t it because you care about the affairs of the Draco cult?”

“… Sigh. I can’t fool you.”

That’s right. The thing about the evil dragon, Krusech, was on my mind the whole time.

I’d already fought that dragon, so I knew it was never easy.

Marrying him while such a big deal hadn’t been resolved somehow didn’t make me feel at ease.

“Don’t you believe I won’t stop you from doing what you want after you become empress?”

“That’s not it. It’s not- We don’t know what will happen. I wonder if it will be too late if something happens after we get married.”

“No. Quite the contrary.” Caesar stopped walking, and I, who was holding hands with him, had to take a few steps to stop.

Looking back, I saw Caesar’s face and kept my mouth shut.

He had such a forlorn and lonely expression on his face that I suddenly regretted making a mistake.

“Will there be anything else to be anxious about when the matter about Krusech is resolved? There is no such thing as a life full of peace and happiness, Helena.” Caesar’s calm voice somehow made me feel sad. “You are still hiding something from me. I’m nervous, but I promised to keep the secret. So at least you, for the sake of my anxiety, should make an oath to become my companion.”

… I see.

I didn’t tell Caesar anything about my past life: why I’m obsessed with Krusech, and why I’m related to its resurrection.

Even though he knew I was hiding something, he didn’t ask me. He knew I wanted to hide it, so he quietly trusted me.

‘I see. You swallowed my anxiety and believed in me, but I…’

I’ve done a bad thing.

“… I understand,” I smiled at Caesar and said. “The wedding will be according to Your Majesty’s opinion. I am not going anywhere, Your Majesty.”

Caesar was silent. However, I could see a thin layer of relief spreading over those red eyes.

Soon he gently hugged me. At the foolishness of the big wolf, I laughed a little.

***

As soon as my permission was granted, the preparations for the wedding proceeded smoothly.

No, in fact, it might be right that it was already progressing without me knowing.

“Well, His Majesty came to the estate himself with a huge amount of presents,” One weekend, Mother, who came to the capital after a long time, said with an ecstatic expression, recalling what happened at that time.

While I was relieved by that girl-like expression, I was upset about Caesar’s work behind the scenes.

If you have time for that, take a break, workaholic!

“He could have just sent the gifts, but he even accompanied me on a shopping spree.”

“… Eh?”

“No ‘eh’s. Even though I have two children, they never went on a date with their mother.”

Ugh. I’m sorry. I smiled bitterly and looked away from my mother. I never thought of such consideration because of the memory of my past life when I didn’t have parents. I was also lazy at everything nor did I like shopping.

At least Leonard had taken care of those kinds of delicate jobs, but after Leonard entered school, he was always busy.

“It was like having another youngest daughter.”

“Ugh. How could someone of His Majesty’s size be a daughter? That’s gross.” I waved my hand and said.

“He has a good-looking face and manners. I don’t know why everyone calls him ‘wolf’.”

Caesar. He must’ve smiled at Mother and tried his best.

“What’s more, handsome knights escorted me.”

“Handsome?”

As I recall, the only handsome guy in the imperial bodyguards was Leonard.

“They were knights in black uniforms. Everyone held a sword. It was so cool.”

I finally understood Mother’s explanation.

He had taken the Black Knights, the face of the Knights, who were chosen based on their faces, not the imperial bodyguards.

Why? Was it because he wanted to let Mother enjoy the feeling of dating while being escorted by handsome men?

In the end, it seemed like a great success.

“Mother strongly agrees with such a son-in-law. Your father, though, still seems worried.”

“Is that so?”

“Because in the end, you’re becoming empress, right? Because with heavy positions comes heavy responsibilities.”

Oh, he’s worried that I will have a hard time… I’m getting emotional.

“You know your lazy nature. He must be concerned about whether you can fulfill your responsibilities, I’m sure-”

“… The me in your memories is still there.” I covered my face with both hands. Somehow, a feeling of embarrassment came over me.

Yeah, I’d been really lazy all this time. I had thought it would be nice if I could just breathe and live.

If I had known that I would end up living a life of such diligence, I would’ve been moderately lazy when I was young.

My mother pulled a chair and approached me in despair, and gently held my hand.

“Helena. What about you?”

“… Yes?”

“The men in my family are surprisingly not delicate. I’m sure they’re pushing things without asking you properly. How are you? Is it really the right choice to make because you love him?” My mother asked me with serious eyes.

Marriage to the royal family is politics. Perhaps some nobles thought that Peresca was making in-laws with the royal family to hold the same power as Valer.

I said with a bitter smile, “You can’t return the national marriage anyway.”

“Why not? If you don’t like it, I will oppose it.”

“I thought you liked His Majesty like the youngest daughter?”

“That is that, and this is this.” 

Mother was really sincere.

It seemed like she was prepared to fight the national marriage if I said no, no matter what.

Suddenly, I wondered if it would be okay for me to have parents like this.

“How can you always be on my side?” I asked a question that had been on my mind for a very long time. “I wasn’t even a friendly daughter. I was so independent. So how can you continue to be by my side?”

If I had no memories of my previous life, I would have believed without a doubt that all parents are beings who love their children unconditionally like this.

It would have been better that way.

I could have been a better and more loving daughter to you guys.

At my silly question, Mother smiled warmly at me.

“Because you are my good and lovely daughter.”

In response, I finally hugged her and leaned in her arms.

Come to think of it, I don’t think I’ve ever hugged my mother like this before.

I should have been a little more childish.

I should have asked her to give me a hug.

I should have trusted her more.

“I like His Majesty. I really like him. I want to protect him by his side.”

“Right. If that’s the case, I’m relieved.”

Mother was not at all surprised to see me in her arms. She was so resolute and so warm, like someone who had been waiting to hug me for a long time.

“Even if you go to the imperial palace, you are my only daughter, Helena.”

“Mm, I know… Mom.”

Now, I know.

I am deeply grateful.

If someone asks me why I was born again, I’d like to answer that it was to become your good and lovely daughter.