The Nameless of the Common Clans
Chapter 401 Conscience
"It's a pity. If Bo Dao could concentrate on studying knowledge, his achievements in this life may be ten times better than mine."
This is the third time Cai Yong has said this. Perhaps his memory is confused when he is dying, or he may have some meaning. Chen Mo listened patiently, and occasionally told Cai Yong some academic matters.
The old man has been in high and low official positions throughout his life, but he has never slacked off in his pursuit of learning. Cai Yong took Chen Mo's hand and asked, "Bo Dao, tell me, why do we study?"
Many people have thought about this issue, and naturally Chen Mo has too, more than once.
"Before, a disciple told me that he studied in order to be heard by the princes, to demonstrate what he had learned, and to be rewarded by high-ranking officials." Cai Yong said with a somewhat reminiscing look: " I was very angry at the time, but now that I think about it, even though most of the corporal officials say they don’t care about such high-ranking officials and rich salaries, how many of them can remain unmoved by fame and fortune? “You are just deceiving yourself.”
A man as knowledgeable as Cai Yong has been in officialdom for a long time, so what about others? It's just that telling the truth so straightforwardly is indeed contrary to today's concepts. The Han people pay attention to being subtle. In fact, I don't say it, but you have to give it, and I have to refuse it. In the end, I am moved by your sincerity. The appearance of becoming an official.
It’s tiring, but not to mention scholars, ordinary people are not like that. There are people who really regard fame and wealth as floating clouds, but there are too few. Like Mi Heng, who is erudite and talented, why do you ridicule everyone when you see him? Not all of them, but most of them have the intention of seeking fame.
"It's a pity that I couldn't face my own heart and punished him instead. Naturally, the relationship between master and disciple has faded." Cai Yong said with some regret.
"Guo Jia?" Chen Mo suddenly looked at Cai Yong falling.
"Yeah." Cai Yong sighed: "This boy's talent is not as good as that of Bo Dao. It's a pity that he is a bit flamboyant. When I was a teacher, I couldn't be as free and easy as him, and my understanding was not as thorough as him. Later, I recommended him Yu Bodao actually had selfish motives, hoping to ease the master-disciple relationship, but it's a pity..."
Cai Yong tremblingly took out a bamboo slip from under the couch and said: "Now that he has defected to Cao Cao, he doesn't want to see me. If I can see him someday, I will give this book to Fengxiao."
Chen Mo took the bamboo slips, nodded and said with a smile: "If there is a chance, Mo will capture him and listen to his father-in-law's teachings in person."
Cai Yong looked at Chen Mo, shook his head and said, "I'm afraid I won't be able to wait until that day."
"What did your father-in-law say? You are just tired. You will be fine after some time of practice." Chen Mo quickly shook his head and said.
"I am indeed tired." Cai Yong sighed, looked at Chen Mo and said: "Bo Dao, I have always been loyal to the Han Dynasty in my life. This loyalty has never wavered. I was born as a Han minister. After death, if the emperors do not Give up and wish to be a Han ghost again!”
"How come my father-in-law said all these depressing words today?" Chen Mo said helplessly.
"We don't have much time left, so let's just listen to the nagging of some old people." Cai Yong said with a smile: "It's just that this is what I want in my life, but everyone has his own path to walk. As for how Bo Dao will go in the future, sometimes, life In the end, it is not up to you to control yourself. Now that I am dead, my body will disappear. All I have to do is be honest with myself."
Chen Mo nodded. Cai Yong was very chatty today. He kept talking with his daughter and son-in-law until the evening, and then fell asleep.
The next day, Chen Mo was still in the government office when he saw Xu Shu coming in with an ugly expression.
"Why is Yuan Zhi like this?" Li Ru looked at Xu Shu and asked doubtfully.
Xu Shu silently handed a bamboo slip to Chen Mo and said: "My lord, the last volume of Han History is not complete yet. Before my teacher leaves, I hope that my lord can help someone to complete the history of Han."
"Father-in-law..." Chen Mo stood up, looked at Xu Shu and frowned.
Cai Yong left peacefully. Chen Mo ordered people to send orders to Sanfu, Bingzhou, and Xiliang. All celebrations and sacrifices in the three states were stopped. The government offices were hung with silk threads to commemorate Cai Yong for a month.
Seven days later, Cai Yong was buried. Chen Mo stood in front of the grave and looked through the last volume of Hanshu left by Caiyong. It recorded what happened from the Zhongping Year to the present. In Caiyong's Hanshu, this period and even After a long period of time, it can be regarded as a period of time, and it is also the last part of the Han Dynasty.
Perhaps the old man had expected something, but this result was definitely not what he wanted to see for this old man who had devoted his life to the great man.
The old man's achievements in the officialdom were not very high in his life. In his later years, he mostly wrote books and taught in academies, and has faded out of his official career. Even if Chen Mo holds the court and becomes the overlord, the old man is not willing to see such a court.
He was naturally dissatisfied, but there was nothing he could do. He could only continue to be loyal to the big man in his own way until the moment his life ended.
At first Wang Yun said that Cai Yong's Han writing would slander the imperial court, but in Chen Mo's view, Cai Yong's Han writing was very fair, including Dong Zhuo's later merits and demerits in his life, and Chen Mo's merits and demerits, without being biased or containing too many personal feelings. .
After the funeral, Chen Mo came back. Cai Yan's eyes were red, but he still helped Chen Mo undress as usual.
"Ma'am, please rest more." Chen Mo stretched out his hand to stop Cai Yan and shook his head without saying too much. At this time, any comfort would seem pale.
Since people are going to die, why should they live? Chen Mo seems to have the answer to this childhood question.
Cai Yan didn't refuse, but she didn't accept either, and continued to do her own thing. Yun Siwei wanted to step forward to help, but was stopped by Chen Mo: "Let me just look at Madam. At this time, doing something can distract some pain. "
Yun Si nodded obediently and stayed with Cai Yan along with Juan'er and Diao Chan. Chen Mo returned to the room with the last scroll of bamboo slips and silently read the last half of his father-in-law's work, but he couldn't help but think of the last conversation in his mind. .
Do you have a clear conscience?
Chen silently looked back on his half life. He was afraid that he could not live up to these four words. He was the overlord of one party. It was impossible to say how aboveboard he was. I am afraid how many innocent people were implicated in each of his schemes. Even Chen Mo didn't know it himself, but he knew that many people's misery was caused by himself. Some of these people he knew, and some might just be the intersection of a government decree.
On a more personal note, I cannot always fulfill my filial piety in front of my mother, nor can I accompany my wife. As a son, a husband, and even a father, I am also not fulfilling my responsibilities.
Why did you take this path in the first place?
Chen Mo suddenly realized that he had forgotten his original intention. He just felt that Yuan Shao and the others were not good enough. How could he do better? Or do you really not want your destiny to be controlled by others? Or is it a combination of both?
Forgot!
He only knows that this is a road of no return. If he gives up now, countless people's livelihoods will be affected. He can't look back, he can't even stop, and he can't give up. He has already accumulated many people unknowingly. expectations.
Even if you succeed in the end, is that success what you want?
Chen Mo didn't know, and no one could give him the answer.
Cai Yan's mood gradually calmed down. Chen Mo spent most of his time at home these days, either with his mother or his wife, doing things to make her happy.
Seeing the smile gradually returning to his wife's face, Chen Mo suddenly felt very fulfilled, which was more fulfilling than winning a battle.
Cai Yan, who recovered from the pain of bereavement, also began to drive Chen Mo away: "My husband is a person who does great things, how can he stay in a gentle country?"
Chen Mo was sometimes very tired of his wife's persuasion. Wasn't he doing all this for his wife? As soon as this was over, he kicked his husband out. People's hearts are not as good as they used to be.
In front of the government office, a large group of people gathered for some unknown reason. Before Chen Mo could pass by, he heard Mi Heng's voice and suddenly had a headache.
"Lord, come and see!" Yang Xiu, with sharp eyes, was the first to see Chen Mo and quickly pulled Chen Mo over.
"I have a headache today...what happened?" Chen Mo said, rubbing his head.
"Zhengping and General Dian had a quarrel." Yang Xiu said with a smile.
"Oh?" Chen Mo suddenly felt his headache go away. He followed Yang Xiu and squeezed into the crowd. He saw Mi Heng swaying and quoting from scriptures, pointing at Dian Wei and scolding him without using a single curse word.
Dian Wei yawned, looked at Mi Heng and said impatiently: "You have been talking for a long time, what are you talking about? Can you speak human language?"
Mi Heng Balabala talked for a long time, his mouth was dry, but in exchange for such a sentence, he stared at Dian Wei and was speechless. After a long while, he cursed: "Rough man!"
Hearing this, Dian Wei glanced at Mi Heng's lower body with ill intentions, patted his shoulder and said, "It turns out you are jealous of me. If you had told me earlier, I would headhunt a tiger for you someday. This tiger whip is very useful. "
"Hahaha~" A group of county guards around him burst into laughter upon hearing this.
"Despicable!"
"I said, you are said to be a eloquent person, but why do you either say words that are incomprehensible to others, or just go back and forth with these two sentences..." Dian Wei became a little impatient and looked at Mi Heng and said : "No wonder you have to wear naked clothes to play the drums before you can curse. Hey, you don't have to take off your clothes here. You have the nerve to take them off. Your courage is extraordinary!"
Mi Heng's face turned red and he pointed at Dian Wei, searching his brain to find some pleasant words that Dian Wei could understand and curse. Unfortunately, after thinking for a long time, he couldn't think of it and could only look at Dian Wei. Stare.
"Speaking of which, beating drums when swearing can also increase the momentum of swearing?" Dian Wei looked at Mi Heng curiously and said: "You literati have really weird habits. It seems that Cao Cao is so angry with you. His temperament is not very good, and the master often praises him. "
"your humble servant!"
"Thin~short~"
"You...I won't talk to you!" Mi Heng pointed at Dian Wei. After a moment, he couldn't think of any words to relieve his anger. He looked at the people around him and said, "Where is Marquis Changling? I have something important to discuss today. "
I have nothing in common with Dian Wei, a big boss, and I don't understand him even if I scold him, so what can I do? Mi Heng was tired now. He wanted to see Chen Mo right now. He needed money and food. Zhong Yun had not approved it a few times before, so this time he came directly to Chen Mo.
"Uh..." Chen Mo's face suddenly darkened when he saw Dian Wei looking towards him...
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