The Princess Wants to Live

Chapter 9 | It’s Sweet

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Before anyone could see it, a vein bulged in the back of Cryer’s hand.

[Man] “Ack….ugh, ah…..”

This garbage wanted to live, and so he struggled with all he had as he grabbed at Cryer’s hand, but it was all in vain. His hands loosened, slowly dying until they fell lifelessly.

Thud—

Cryer looked down at the pitiful lump of trash that lay limp on the marble floor, and then he turned around. Behind him was the stretch of his shadow, reaching out as the moonlight touched against his face.

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Knock, knock—

It was the middle of the night and yet Olivia was still stuck in the study with her nose buried in work. But then she quickly looked up at the sound of a sudden knock against the door.

[Olivia] “Come in.”

The moment her permission rang out, Cryer silently appeared behind the opened door.

[Olivia] “Cryer?”

She didn’t expect it to be him of all people, and so her wide eyes like a rabbit widened again.

[Olivia] “Is something wrong?”

[Cryer] “Your lights were on.”

[Olivia] “It’s because I still have work left to do. I don’t know if I’ll be able to sleep in my bedroom tonight.”

Watching Olivia groan from the pain in her stiff neck as she rolled out her shoulder, Cryer nodded.

[Cryer] “That’s good.”

She was just saying she had so much work to do that she couldn’t even take a break and yet he was saying that was good? What a strange thing to say. 

Setting down the pen in her hand that was once tight in her hand, Olivia looked up at him.

[Olivia] “What’s that supposed to mean?”

And when Cryer answered her question, his voice was so casual it was like he was commenting on the cool weather.

[Cryer] “I ran into some trash that was trying to force something, so I disposed of it on my way here.”

[Olivia] “Oh I see. Just some trash disposal……”

Nodding along, Olivia didn’t really think too much of his answer, just taking it as another one of his strange quips before she suddenly paused and tilted her head.

[Olivia] “Huh? Trash?”

[Cryer] “I didn’t think it was normal for some guy to be sneaking around the Princess’ bedroom at this hour.”

Trying to force something, trash, at this hour, and sneaking around.

Olivia’s brow furrowed as she focused on specific words from Cryer’s unkind explanation, slowly using them to paint a picture of the situation for herself.

[Olivia] “I……see. Did you deal with it?”

[Cryer] “Yup.”

[Olivia] “And how did you……Actually, no. Don’t tell me.”

The Cryer she knew wouldn’t have called the Imperial Knights forward to take out the trash, and to be honest, she didn’t care about what kind of end garbage met. So she quickly changed the subject.

[Olivia] “I was looking into some information related to your circumstances, and I think it went well.”

From the pile of papers in front of her, she pulled out a small portrait.

[Olivia] “It’s similar…….Huh?”

The portrait was about the size of her palm, and she alternated her gaze between it and Cryer several times, then narrowed her eyes.

The hair color and the eye color were the same, but…….

Sitting on the sofa across Olivia’s desk, Cryer crossed his legs, leaning back in his seat.

[Cryer] “What’s similar?”

Olivia stared at him, then immediately tossed the portrait to the side, shaking her head.

[Olivia] “Never mind. It’s not similar at all.”

How could she think the person in this portrait looked like that man? Even if parts of their appearance were similar, nothing could ever imitate the way his blackened red eyes glimmered in the dark.

The eyes of the man who started and ended the Continental War, all on his own.

Unconsciously, Olivia moved closer to Cryer and looked into his eyes.

Like they were mixing with the night itself, his red eyes were like a torrent, swirling around. As if there were countless emotions swarming within him. Emotions that no one, not even Cryer himself could understand.

Then suddenly—

It was brief, but there was something Olivia could recognize.

Within those swirling and empty eyes, there was a faint sadness. So fleeting……So faint…….

[Cryer] “You’re close.”

The hairs on the back of Olivia’s neck rose up thanks to the slow voice coming from right next to her face. Seeing how she immediately froze, Cryer patted her on her shoulder.

[Olivia] “Kya!”

Olivia jumped back, rubbing away the goosebumps that were forming on her arms. With her shoulders trembling, she looked so much like a startled and frightened cat.

Cryer shook his head.

[Cryer] “I barely moved.”

It took some time, but eventually Olivia’s heart managed to calm down, even though it felt like it was pounding so much it was going to burst out of her throat.

While she tried to rest her panicked heart, Cryer picked up the palm-sized portrait that Olivia had tried to compare to him earlier.

[Cryer] “You said this looked like me?”

[Olivia] “No. Not one bit.”

Olivia said it twice for emphasis, all with an extremely serious look on her face.

[Olivia] “You don’t look alike at all.”

Setting the portrait back down on the desk, Cryer ran his hand across his chin.

[Cryer] “It’s been too long since I’ve seen my own face properly, so I wouldn’t know.”

[Olivia] “There’s a mirror here—“

[Cryer] “Not interested. What’s all this?”

Casting aside the small portrait, Cryer instead gestured towards the documents Olivia had strewn around the table top.

[Olivia] “It’s information.”

[Cryer] “Information?”

Cryer tilted his head, pulling out one of the documents and eyeing it intensely.

[Cryer] “Isn’t this useless?”

[Olivia] “Only time will tell.”

Though Olivia nodded her head as if it were only obvious, Cryer looked down at the top of her head, lightly waving the document in the air.

[Cryer] “This one says that a man ate two pieces of candy today, and I don’t see that gaining any kind of relevance no matter how much time goes by.”

Olivia didn’t know what to say, but she could feel her lip twitching now. Cry tossed down the document, instead changing the topic to something else entirely.

[Cryer] “I heard something’s been happening in the streets.”

That made Olivia’s ears perk up.

[Olivia] “You heard?”

[Cryer] “Aren’t you going to ask me what’s going on?”

[Olivia] “I already know what you’re talking about. I’m more interested in how you heard about it.”

With a bright light reflected in her eyes, Olivia repeated her words, speaking very directly.

[Olivia] “Who did you hear it from?”

At first, the question might sound a little strange, but to Olivia, it was a perfectly fair question to ask. Since the moment he started staying in the palace, not once did she see Cryer speak with anyone besides herself.

But Cryer just shrugged.

[Cryer] “I have ears, you know.”

[Olivia] “So you were eavesdropping.”

[Cryer] “I’d rather say I overheard it.”

Olivia just stared at his vague answer, but eventually she nodded.

[Olivia] “Oh. So you just heard it.”

She accepted that answer so easily that now Cryer had a question he wanted to ask.

[Cryer] “You’re not going to ask me anything else?”

[Olivia] “You mentioned something similar before.”

[Cryer] “What?”

[Olivia] “Before I returned.”

Counting with her fingers, Olivia looked back on her messy and busy past memories.

By her estimate, it was probably after her second death before her third regression. After the Imperial Palace fell and her neck once more met the sharp end of Cryer’s blade.

At that point, Olivia was still determined to hold onto some kind of dignity, even in the face of death. It was the least she could do as a Princess.

[Olivia] —‘How did you find me?’

She was in the deepest part of the Imperial Palace. It was such a secret within the Imperial family that only the Emperor knew about it, and the knowledge would only be passed down onto the next Emperor by him—and so on and so forth.

But like he knew exactly where she was, Cryer found her in an instant.

Remembering that much, Olivia’s face stiffened, holding back the frown as she lowered her voice.

[Olivia] “You said you could hear my breathing through the walls.”

It was only slightly, but Cryer’s brow furrowed as he wavered. After staring at Olivia for a moment, he spoke again.

[Cryer] “Maybe it was someone imitating me.”

His response was so jarring, Olivia’s face turned red. Flustered, she shamelessly shook her head.

[Olivia] “Who else could it have been? It was you, definitely you. You told me you could hear my breathing through the walls.”

Still shaking her head, Olivia continued.

[Olivia] “So I told myself, the next time I think I’m going to die, I’ll hold my breath as much as possible. But then…”

[Cryer] “Then?”

[Olivia] “Then you told me you could hear the beating of my heart.”

Olivia’s voice turned silent, and that quietness spread in the air between the two. It was a little uncomfortable so though Olivia stayed like that, she couldn’t take it anymore and tried to say something.

But her attempts fell flat the moment she noticed Cryer seemed to be thinking about something.

The silence was as oppressive as a tomb, so Olivia instead busied herself with some documents. Pushing aside one stack of papers, the second she touched her hand against the next, the once eerily silent Cryer finally said something.

[Cryer] “I have better hearing than most people, but even I can’t hear someone’s heartbeat or their breathing through a wall.”

With eyelashes fluttering so quickly, they could rival a butterfly flying through a storm, Olivia quickly stood up, her voice tumbling out of her.

[Olivia] “What? So everything you said back then was a lie?”

She wanted to say more but she kept those words at the tip of her tongue.

To lie to a dying woman! How barbaric!

But like he could read her thoughts, Cryer shook his head.

[Cryer] “I’m not so foolish as to lie to someone about to die.”

[Olivia] “Oh, okay……”

Noticing she was instinctively nodding her head in relief, she stopped herself.

If the Cryer back then was one who would not lie about that kind of thing, then what about the Cryer right now? The one sitting across from her?

[Cryer] “I’m still not lying.”

[Olivia] “Then what?”

He didn’t answer straight away this time.

Deep creases formed on Cryer’s forehead, and she could see him slowly clenching and unclenching his fists, like he was thinking very deeply about something. After she noticed that, Olivia turned away from the stacks of papers on the desk, grabbing a few of the snacks that were left there.

She had so many snacks in her hands, it was akin to a squirrel stuffing their cheeks full in the middle of the fall. Holding them, she immediately returned to Cryer.

[Cryer] “Princess? What are you…..”

The second she got to him, she dumped the myriad of snacks from her hand, dropping them all into his lap. It was a bit of a mess, but Olivia didn’t care at this point. Instead, she picked one of them up, trying to push it into Cryer’s mouth.

[Olivia] “Eat.”

She was so suddenly adamant about it that Cryer raised an eyebrow at her, but Olivia couldn’t be stopped.

[Olivia] “Eat it. It will help your head stop spinning.”

[Cryer] “I was just lost in thought for a second.”

Before he could finish talking, Olivia just quickly nodded.

[Olivia] “I know. It’s just…”

She just wanted to do something. She thought he might sink back into that depressive state of his, sinking into himself, but Olivia couldn’t get those words out.

But as she turned to silence, Cryer didn’t ask any further questions. Instead, he changed the subject.

[Cryer] “Princess.”

[Olivia] “Hm?”

He looked down in his lap, splayed with bright colors thanks to the snack.

[Cryer] “It feels like all the traits you should have as a princess have entirely disappeared.”

Cryer didn’t mention exactly what traits were gone, so Olivia tilted her head, responding rather coldly.

[Olivia] “Oh, you mean things like my dignity, my manners, my formality—things like that?”

With a wry smile, Olivia picked up one of the snacks that had fallen into Cryer’s lap and popped it into her mouth. The moment it touched her tongue, the sweetness spread throughout and melted away.

[Olivia] “I already know that I don’t have to act that way around you. By now, I’ve decided fairly plainly that it’s good not to waste time doing anything meaningless.”

But then Cryer, seeing the clear bitterness of Olivia’s smile, reached out his hand.

He ran his finger along the edges of Olivia’s mouth, and she immediately and instinctively shrank away from his touch. But then he pulled away, licking the tip of that very same finger.

[Cryer] “It’s sweet.”

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