The Reason for Marriage

Iveca tried her hardest to put thoughts of E.J out of her mind. As long as the mystery woman didn’t try to compete for Daniel’s affection or anything like that, their relationship would continue to be this good.

“Your Majesty, it seems to be getting dark rather quickly, shall we go down?”

Daniel nodded, but seemed to have fallen into a strange, incomprehensible silence.

“And also, there are no guards around, Your Majesty… Shouldn’t you always be accompanied by guards? Because it is dangerous?” Iveca asked.

He looked at the distant streets of Amenity for a moment, before slowly turning his head and to stare at her. The smile had faded from his expression. For a moment, she was dumbfounded and all of a sudden, he grabbed her cheek and suddenly came forward to kiss her.

“Don’t worry about that,” said Daniel, “I can protect both of us.”

“Is that why you go to the gym every morning during the dawn?”

As his expression showed his curiosity on how she knew about it, Iveca smiled bashfully and continued. “I was chosen to be in the Bureau of Investigation, you know. I was also ranked top of my class in physical education. I can tell if somebody trains everyday or not just by touching them.” Iveca’s mind flashed back to when she touched his naked body for two whole days and barely swallowed the words that came after before she blurted them out.

“How about the fact that I do it during the dawn?” asked Daniel, smiling again now.

“The smell of perfume on your clothes has faded. It means you haven’t changed your clothes, and as Your Highness wakes up early in the morning, it’s easy to deduce a routine.” said Iveca.

“Very clever, Iveca.”

He kissed her slowly between her eyes, on the tip of her nose, and on her cheek. She felt her body twitch in an instant as his lips found her neck and his tongue began to lick slowly. As always, the beginning of the affair was smooth, and the process was terribly ecstatic. There was a clear consideration of her in between every gesture and breath. The obsessive question whether it was okay was asked and she gasped and barely nodded her head, followed by an urgent gesture of embrace as if he was relieved. Although he could not hide his lust, it was clearly shown that her pleasure came first. However, when everything was over, a strange feeling of loneliness remained.

Why was he obsessed with her pleasure? As someone who had low self-esteem, she did not understand. It was something you did to make your children, first and foremost, so why put her first? The thoughts ran wildly in her anxious mind.

Maybe this was a reward in exchange for her loyalty. Iveca wondered whether calling him ‘Your Majesty’ while embracing him added to his obsession. Maybe on other occasions, E.J called him ‘Daniel’.

Iveca shook the intruding thought from her head. However, the feeling of hurt remained. It was a marriage that had been decided in a simple way, but she felt so complicated when she was with this man. Perhaps it was because he was nice to her more than necessary.

***

Iveca had two older sisters, and also two younger sisters. Even though they all received home education together, and even had dinner together, they didn’t invite Iveca for having picnics and teatime together with other aristocrats’ girls, or anything else of the sort. Iveca knew clearly what the reason was.

“Oh my, Iveca has black hair? How odd!”

When she was young, every time a new visitor who hadn’t heard about the rumor said the same thing, her oldest sister Sierin used to smile gracefully and answer.

“My maternal grandmother had black hair. Iveca looks a lot like her maternal grandmother.”

However, none of them knew their maternal grandmother. Later Iveca herself used to avoid getting caught together with her sisters.

“Father really is too conservative. He said we shouldn’t go to the banquet until coming of age, that’s ridiculous.”

“It would be great if mother would stop seeing Mrs. Eila. Why does she like that crude woman so much?”

The gossip flowed thick and fast between her siblings, every day. Of course, she could not get involved in the chatter between the sisters, who shared their complaints about their parents. It was not like she heard it from somebody else. It was a subtle, yet complex, atmosphere to be a part of. Alienation was not a situation when Iveca could get information from someone else.

Although they were home-educated together, Iveca progressed fastest and did everything better than the others. It was because, among the sisters who always went out with their friends to play, Iveca didn’t have anything to do but study and practice. Whether it was studying, playing a musical instrument, painting, it would turn out great as long as she worked hard. It was not complicated, and the results showed.

But even the tutors wouldn’t praise her because of the sensitive atmosphere around her. Even though she was not proud of her birth, she worked harder than anyone for even a short compliment that eventually might come her way. If the tutors gave her compliments in front of her parents, maybe they might smile and recognize her as an Esselburn… or maybe wouldn’t look at her like a cow watching a chicken; a cold, unrecognizing indifference between two complete strangers.

However, that day never came.