The Reason I Have To Be A Villain

Chapter 26

[Renée’s POV]

Anastasia told me to take a rest comfortably and went out together with Aiden, and after that, I completely scraped up all the thin rice gruel which was nowhere close to enough.

Then, after taking the medicine, I tripped and fell alone for the mission to trip the maid, and I felt energized. Because today’s work is done.

So, I asked Reden, who came to see me, brightly.

“Can I go home now?”

“No. Stay another week.”

“It’s because I feel so pressured. How can I stay in the palace, not anywhere else?”

“It’s okay because I’m here.”

He spoke nonchalantly and sat down on the chair Aiden had been sitting on before, opening a thick book. Come to think of it, he was reading like that when I first saw Reden.

“You know, Aiden didn’t tell me until the end, but……. How did I get better?”

“Aren’t you curious how you got hurt?”

“…… Uh, um…….”

“Just in case. You know why, too, don’t you? Why did it happen all of a sudden?”

I shouldn’t have brought it up. Reden eventually covered the book as if to talk, and I slipped on the bed and turned my back.

“It’s no use keeping your mouth shut like that. Or, is it really what those two did?”

I immediately turned my back at Reden’s words and looked at him.

“Oh! I heard that two people were sued, did Reden do that?”

“Then who’s going to do it?”

“Why? Why did you do that? Reden knows it’s not. I was fine when I met Reden. Oh, it’s true that I was with two people in the subspace, but I got hurt after the subspace disappeared. Knowing everything, why are you blaming the two of them?”

“That’s why I asked. Who made you like that?”

I blinked my eyes quickly in surprise at Reden’s tone. What? Are you angry right now?

“Reden, are you mad?”

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Don’t be so angry. But I’m fine now so it’s okay.”

“Haaa…”

At my words, he sighed openly and rubbed his forehead with his eyes closed. The sight was unfamiliar. Why are you angry?

Soon after, he opened his eyes. Somehow he looked tired. It was like someone who hadn’t slept in days.

“I think you’re mistaken about something, but you almost died.”

“…….”

“The stomach split up. It’s not something to be taken lightly. Don’t you understand?”

“Reden, I….”

“It’s okay because you’re fine now?” You may be fine, but I’m not.”

He gradually bowed his head as he spoke. When I couldn’t see his face anymore, I murmured and came down carefully from the bed.

Wavering, hesitantly, I quietly put my knees on the floor and looked up at his face. Naturally, our eyes met. At the same time, he muttered something incomprehensible.

“I’ve been complaining about you causing trouble for 10 years. Now you’re sick and hurting yourself?”

I didn’t answer and carefully covered his cheek. The glow of the sunset in his eyes was dripping down.

Confused, I couldn’t say anything. Only the word ‘why’ was running around in my head.

You… you didn’t cry when Renée died. You didn’t cry until the end. But why….

“Am I angry? Yes, I am. You were dying right there, and there was nothing I could do.”

“…….”

“Worried? Yeah, I’m freaking worried.”

The light of the sunset fell every time he blinked.

Yeah, he was crying. As if he was really upset, as if he was sad that I had been hurt. So I didn’t understand.

Didn’t you hate it? Didn’t you give up on me, Renée, to the point where you wouldn’t shed a single tear even if she died?

It was one thing to know. When he, who was blunt and always harsh with me, shed tears, strangely, incomprehensibly, I felt like tears were coming out too.

As if he were really my family, as if he were my real brother. It broke my heart to see him cry. And I was curious.

Did Reden care for Renée Blair from the beginning, or was it because he changed his mind because of me.

Who was he crying for now. For Renée Blair, who’s been with him all her life? Or for me who has only been together for over a month?

“I was scared that even you would die.”

“…….”

“You’re a family, too…. My younger sister.…. It’s funny….Ridiculous…”

“…….”

“What the hell is all right? When I think about you dying, I still…….”

Reden placed his hand on the back of my hand that was covering his cheek. His hands were colder than usual. Then I remembered. That his hands get cold when he is extremely nervous.

“Sorry, I’m sorry, Reden. I didn’t think much……. Don’t cry, will you? I’m sorry….”

When he said that he was worried about me, that he was afraid that I would die, and that he was angry because there was nothing he could do at that time, the only thing I could say was sorry.

But Reden’s tears did not stop. The kid who doesn’t cry often didn’t seem to know how to stop once he burst out.

Ah, why can’t I soothe a crying person?

Since I was young, I was clumsy at comforting and soothing someone, so I kept my mouth shut and moved my hands.

I pulled down the soft, fluttering sleeves with my palm and wiped Reden’s eyes, and when Reden’s eyes eventually turned red and looked like they were stained with flowers, I laughed like I was about to cry.

“It’s a crybaby, a crybaby.”

“…….”

“I won’t say that anymore. I, I didn’t know that Reden would worry about me. I wouldn’t have said it so lightly if I had known you were worried. I’m sorry, huh?”

“…….”

“……You’re not mad yet, are you? Uh, what do you think I can do to get rid of your anger? I won’t say it carelessly. Should I write a memorandum?….”

When I hesitated and asked him, he gently pushed my shoulder. I couldn’t see his face anymore. All I could see were tears falling and glistening from the recoil* that had pushed me away.

TL/N: I’m thinking of those manga-like scenes where the tears kinda fly away y’all get me?

A sense of guilt stabbed my chest. I naturally rested two fists on top of my already kneeling knees. What can I do to ease Reden’s mood?

I thought about it until I felt a fever on my head, but Reden, who still looked down and I could only see the top of his head, spoke first.

“Then do me a favor.”

“Fa, favor?”

To be honest, I was a little embarrassed because it was unexpected, but I immediately nodded vigorously.

“Favorr! A favor is easy… … ! What? I’ll listen to anything, as long as it eases Reden’s mood!”

“Really.”

“Argh! Even so! Just say it!”

I spoke proudly and nodded my head again.

He lowered his gaze, took a long deep breath, and raised his head. At the same time, the tears that fell in droplets stopped.

……What?

As if he had taken off his mask, I looked at him blankly at the absurdly fast change of expression, but he indifferently wiped his cheek and opened his mouth.

“Then tell me right now. Who hurt you.”

“……Wh, what? Don’t tell me you’re……. You cried for this……?”

“That’s my request.”

Will you listen? At Reden’s last question, I felt a strong sense of betrayal.

TL/N: OMG I WAS BETRAYED TOO LMAO

***

After agonizing over it for a long time, should I believe in him even if he would not believe me? I started to speak and told Reden everything.

Except for the fact that I was possessed, of course.

Even in the middle of confessing, and even now that I had confessed everything, I had doubts about whether it was okay to tell him, but it had already happened.

I didn’t know how he would react. It seemed like he was going to scathingly ask if I was lying because I  had nothing to do, and it was also like he was going to listen silently.

‘I think we’ve gotten a little closer. But what if he thinks I’m crazy and grow apart again?’

That was all I was worried about. Earlier, he stopped crying as if he were pretending, and I dare say that, although it was absurd, the tears were not false.

……I would like to believe so.

I still don’t know if he shed tears because of ‘me’ or because of ‘Renée Blair’……. It’s true that we got closer.

But if I go back to square one because of what I’ve told you now… …

Thinking that far, I was relieved that I didn’t let go of the fact that I was actually possessed and not Renée Blair.

You won’t believe the story of the mission, but can you believe that I’m actually a person from another world possessed in a novel?

Believe me, it’s a problem. If he believes, the relationship now, which has become a little closer, will not go back to the original point, but will become worse, let alone back to square one.

Because I’m not your younger sister.

Thinking that Reden would be colder to me than now, I bit my lip in sadness, but unexpectedly, he asked a question in a serious tone.

“If that’s true, when did the missions appear?”

“…….”

“Since 10 years ago? Since then, you’ve been acting like you’re crazy.”

I couldn’t answer. Because that was a story that only Renée Blair of the original would know.

Reden quietly frowned at my silence. He moved on without asking further if he regarded my silence as consent.

“Well, okay. Then what’s today’s mission?”

“…… Huh? Why are you curious about that?”

“Because I don’t think you did anything crazy today. According to what you said, if you don’t complete the mission within the day, you will be penalized. Even with physical pain.”

“Oh, oh, right? But I already did my mission. I had to trip the maid’s feet… … I walked on my feet before Reden came.”

When his eyes questioned what I meant by that, I had to tell him why I had asked him to hand over his employment rights.

He nodded as if he understood.

“That’s why you slapped yourself recently.”

“That’s right!”

He was silent for a moment at my clear answer, then tapped the armrest of the chair with his finger. It was a habit that came out whenever he was troubled.

How long he’d been doing that, he finally spoke.

“It’s hard to believe what you said. I’ve never heard of or seen such a case.”

“… …”

“But I’ll trust you. There’s just something I don’t understand.”

“……What is it?”

“If everything you say is true……. All this time, you’ve been persistently bothering Solen, appearing at banquets and making a mess… … . And the Burwars ball… …”

He paused for a moment, then went on.

“Anyway, if all your crazy things were done because of the mission, why did you suddenly change your mind?”

“Uh?”

“You followed the mission like nothing happened two months ago, but why don’t you want to do it now?” And why didn’t you tell me right away?”

Uh, that’s…

I’ve been asked too many questions today that baffled me. I felt paralyzed from thinking a lot with my head.

Apart from that, his questions were legitimate. I also wondered why Renée Blair didn’t cheat on the mission like I did and just followed through.

If she had evaded it moderately like I did now and told Reden everything, I wouldn’t have been called a jerk.

Was there a reason? Or did she never think of cheating?

When I couldn’t answer right away, Reden sighed.

I felt my conscience prickling. 

“If you don’t want to talk, that’s fine.”

“… …”

“But remember that one thing. What you’ve been doing for the previous times doesn’t go away.”

He spoke indifferently.

“No matter how much it was because of the mission, you did a lot of things that you shouldn’t do to people.”

“……Right.”

“Anytime is fine, so be sure to apologize. To those who are hurt.”

There was a heavy silence when he finished speaking.

Reden is right. Even though I didn’t do it, an apology is indispensable to creating a good relationship in the future.

I still haven’t apologized for slapping Anastasia on the day I was possessed. If I want to change people’s perceptions, the basic thing is to apologize, but I haven’t done it until now.

I felt as if I had been hit hard in the back of the head.

Then, Reden broke the silence…