The Rebirth Of A White Robe Man: I'll Follow You This Time

"Ah, that ruthlessness and cruelty... that spike of murderous intention… and the familiar beautiful indifferent sapphire eyes… you are definitely my Cheng!"

After the decision has been made, the transparent Ren Yuan completely ignores the relieved Lin Renshu to the side with his eyes burning fiercer than ever as he gazes at the young man figure.

And Shao Cheng who is receiving such fiery gazes from the transparent Ren Yuan couldn't help but reach over and tightly grasp the hand of the unconscious Ren Yuan in his arms.

Never did he consider that there would be another chance for him to experience the overwhelming passion and love of the person he had already considered gone forever.

"... Ah, I am really really really jealous of him… I have always imagined this happening to me… Every single night… I wish for you to gaze at me with such gentle and caring eyes… to treat me with kindness…"

It never happened though… even at the last moment of your life… I have never received this side of yours...

"At least, just once in my entire life, I wanted you to stop seeing me with extremely cold eyes filled with murderous intention…"

I have never believed in God… and yet, the moment I have fallen in love with you, I started praying and never missed a single day.

Even though I always found my foolish and naive actions to be absolutely detestable, but there is nothing I can do because I can no longer stop it.

The transparent Ren Yuan gaze landed at the hands the young man was grasping, although he understood that the unconscious young man was also 'himself' but he was unable to stop the bitterness from emerging in his heart.

Ah… How I have always wished this to happen to me...

"In my entire life, I have always wanted you to become mine… but I already assumed that you would never feel the same way as I do… I have even prepared to remain as a simple friend from that battle I consider as our supposedly last fight with each other…"

The transparent Ren Yuan knew how much the man loved and cared for the Chang Empire, even if it started with helping those two annoying people who didn't deserve the man's gentle and thoughtful side.

He even decided that it was alright to remain as an acquaintance with the same goal and desire to once again lead the Change Empire to return to its powerful and prosperous time.

"But, Cheng, even if people consider you as insidious, cunning, and decisive, but in my eyes, you are honestly so foolish and naive! You are usually so clever and skilled in seeing a person's nature, but you are hopelessly blinded by those two people!"

Ren Yuan wanted to smile his usual expression, playful and mischievous, but he couldn't do it.

Because he can still clearly remember when the last breath of this man disappeared, especially when their first kiss had turned as their last.

"So, you died… you left before I can do something to ease our relationship… Shao Cheng… I tried… but I couldn't forget you… my heart has always beat for you… even when I also died, I still love you so much… that I wanted to follow you to the Afterlife."

Ren Yuan tried to smile once more, only for it to turn unrecognizable because of the complicated emotions he is feeling inside him.

"I wanted to fight for a possibility for the two of us to be together again. Even in another lifetime, I wanted for you to become mine. But… look at what happened. It's completely unexpected… who would have thought that you would have gotten the chance to come back again?"

…. It's great… really… especially when you won't get fooled again in this life… where you could have a genuine love and be cared for by people that are true, unlike what you experience… 

"I'm happy… really, I am honestly happy about it…especially when we get to see each other again after death has separated us… but Cheng… Why does my heart hurt so much too?"

It's a wonderful possibility, why couldn't this amazing situation happen in our lives that are already long gone?

Shao Cheng's sapphire eyes shook with his heart twisting as the transparent Ren Yuan showed such a heartbreaking expression on his face. Especially when he completely understood what the man was getting at.

The two of them have so many misunderstandings in their lives, and so many missed chances, so many 'why' and 'if' and yet, it completely ended already.

"... I'm sorry…"

When Shao Cheng is genuinely facing the Ren Yuan that experiences such a lonely and difficult life filled with heavy responsibility and burden throughout his entire life.

He could only apologize because he doesn't know how to properly convey his guilt and remorse in words alone.

"Ren Yuan, I'm really sorry…"

I can't return to that time anymore.

"I'm sorry for never truly understanding you."

If I have tried even once to know you at the start, then there might have been a chance that our relationship didn't turn out as bad in the previous life.

And yet, I have never tried it, just foolishly letting someone lead me to have a path completely separated from you...

"I'm sorry for being heartless and cruel to you… and for always hurting your heart."

I destroyed our last chance… I'm sorry...

"... Ah…"

The transparent Ren Yuan has never shown such emotion in the young man's face before.

Aside from the usual indifference, coldness, anger, and murderous intention, never once did he witness the young man become emotional. Even when he was betrayed by the people he cared for and died by their hands, his expression never lost control.

And when Ren Yuan saw that the young man open his mouth again to continue apologizing, he finally suppressed the bitterness in his heart before starting to comfort the emotional young man.

"Ah, don't be like this, I didn't want this to happen… shouldn't we be smiling in joy and happiness after meeting each other again?... Cheng, don't be sad… I prefer to see you in happiness and at peace."

It was during those moments that you looked so beautiful in my eyes, and it was not because of your beautiful appearance, but, during those times, you felt more genuine and real.

"You know, even though I can only watch in the dark before…but, watching you so happy while facing those two bad people is enough to make me feel content with it. Hell, even your fake gentle smile sometimes counts too!"

Ren Yuan couldn't help but reach his hand out, wanting to gently caress the young man's cheek, only to slowly blink his eyes when his hand easily passed over, unable to touch him.

He was painfully reminded that he is no longer alive.

"Besides, I have always known what kind of person I have fallen in love with. Your cruelty… your heartlessness… your ruthlessness, everything bad about you is something that I have already accepted. I have long been prepared for the consequences of falling for such a dangerous person."

Did you know? I have always been prepared to die by your hands… but, unfortunately, you had been betrayed and the first person to die between us.

Suddenly, Ren Yuan felt himself growing weaker and had understood that his time is limited because the 'real' him that should exist is right before him.

And Shao Cheng, who can see the grown-up Ren Yuan transparency become dimmer, felt his heart twisting in pain because he understood that during that moment, it was truly their last time seeing each other again.

Ths time is their genuine last farewell.

"Ah, I don't have much time, so let me explain a bit what I am alright? Let's see… you could say that I am a remnant, a small piece of soul, so that young 'me' isn't really complete."

I don't know how it really works, but this is the best I can do to explain the entire situation.

"There is also the fact that my obsession with you is powerful enough that when I died, instead of going somewhere, a piece of me stubbornly insists on staying with you."

Suddenly, Ren Yuan couldn't help but show a mischievous grin on his face. The heartbreaking expression has long disappeared as he focused on a happier time in their last moment.

At least, he wanted to leave a good image in the man's memories. He knows, even if there is a 'young' him, the man would never forget him.

"You can basically say that I greatly feared that an unexpected situation where we would not be able to see each other in the Afterlife would occur while in our way and I don't know how I did it..."

When I finally got the answer that you have been by my side all this time in my last moment, I just have the overwhelming obsession of never being separated from you again…

"Maybe when that aura went inside you? So, I was able to leave some part of me. I wanted to easily find you if we ever got separated or if one of us got lost in the afterlife."

Of course, the main reason is that I feared that you would run away from me, so...

"Then, you miraculously have gotten the chance to come back again. To the time, where the two of us didn't become enemies yet, and where everything is still alright. So, instead of waking up, I was put into a deep sleep, until the moment something has disturbed my deep slumber."

Of course, the merit of being a good Emperor seemed to have fulfilled the special condition where I can still exist even if my 'young self' is in this world.

Although there is a limit and condition, but Ren Yuan is already happy to be able to see the man again.

Especially after knowing that they can change their past and also having the possibility of getting together after his short observation of how the man acted to the 'young self'.

Even if it wasn't the 'him' but, at least, a 'he' is able to get the person he had always wanted to have no matter how he felt inside.

"So, this is more than enough that I could ask for, however… Can you honestly answer an important question of mine, Cheng?"

Ren Yuan's grey pupils glimmer with hope and excitement as he gazes at the person he can finally speak with peace.

"Do I finally have a chance? Cheng, since it appeared that we are not enemies anymore, would you fall for me in this life?"

When the young man remained quiet, the weakening Ren Yuan couldn't hold his hopeful expression as it slowly disappeared, only to pause with his eyes widening in surprise and happiness after getting the answer he wanted to hear with a fast-beating heart.

"I am already falling for you."