The Ship Girl and the Admiral and the News

Forget it, it's a gift to Bai Jun.

As a fan of Mr. Young Crane, who doesn't know about Bai Jun? Essex even followed him on his blog.

It is quite common to fall in love with someone because of a work.

Carrying a delicate gift box, Essex stepped up the stairs, and finally knocked on the door according to the address given by Mr. Hinata.

"Come on." The familiar voice on the phone just now came from inside, and the door was soon opened.

"You are Essex, come first." Da Fengfeng said with a kind and confident smile. There are quite a few Essex-class ships in Yuyan, some are built, and some are wild.

It's really hard to tell if it's based on appearance alone.

"Thank...Thank you, Mr. Chuhe." The white-haired girl found that she was more nervous than she wanted.

"It's the first time I've seen a reader in private. You're welcome." Sister Feng took the girl to the living room. After she left Saratoga, she took a brief pause to clean up.

For example, the scattered snack bags on the coffee table, which Salalah just ate and threw here.

When I left in the morning, Akagi had already cleaned up a lot, but it didn't take long before my sister Sarah messed up the coffee table.

In addition, there is the shirt Bai Jun threw on the sofa.

This was bought by Akagi two days ago.

Because it has only been worn once, it has not been washed yet.

When she was just cleaning up, Da Fengfeng subconsciously took it to her room.

After restoring the living room to its original state, the doorbell rang.

Apart from Xiao Xiaofeng in Yuyan General Port, this should be the second reader the beautiful girl writer has ever seen.

Bai Jun is not his own reader. Strictly speaking, he should be his.

"Tea or coffee? Milk is fine too." Dafeng asked, looking at the awkward and uneasy white-haired girl.

"Cow...milk, thank you, Mr. Young Crane." Essex was a very polite child. Although he was very nervous, he still tried his best to thank him.

After all, she came here to learn something, not just to be a guest.

"Did I ask you to bring what you brought?" Da Fengfeng continued to ask while pouring milk.

"...This is a gift for you. It's a little thought from me. I hope Mr. Haohe doesn't mind." The white-haired girl subconsciously took out the two pairs of watches she just bought.

The price is quite expensive, I hope sister Hannah will not say her...

421. You move

Although Essex's level is a little lower, but after living for so long, he still knows a little about the world.

Young Crane-sensei is also a ship girl with her. Although she may get along well with her because of this relationship, it is only compared with ordinary readers.

But if you really want to learn something, or let the other party do their best.

That necessary gift or tuition is necessary.

It's not how dirty an adult's world is.

It's just an equivalent exchange.

If the white-haired girl wants to learn the skills to survive, she can't just let Mr. Haohe teach it for no reason.

They don't owe her anything.

If you just came to meet the young cranes, then you don't need to be like this at all.

Holding a glass of warm milk, Essex sipped it.

Dafeng, on the other hand, put on a flat mirror and was carefully reading the manuscript brought by the white-haired girl. Essex's purpose is very strong, so she doesn't mean to be sloppy.

They also brought her a watch, and they kindly brought a piece to Bai Jun. So there are deficiencies and deficiencies, just point them out.

Now there are only two people in the family, she and Essex, whether it is Bai Jun or Richelieu, either go to work or go to school.

Quiet is also suitable for teaching something.

Da Feng is not a good teacher. If Bai Jun didn't speak up, she probably wouldn't agree. After all, she is not without work, and she is still a little busy on weekdays.

Moreover, writing this thing depends not only on talent, but also on the usual accumulation and practice.

There really isn't a lot that can be taught.

Taking advantage of the stall where Young Crane was reading his manuscript, Essex, who was holding a cup of hot milk, looked around.

This is obviously not a single-living environment. From the living room side, you can see men's clothes hanging on the balcony. In addition, there are girls' clothes with different styles and styles.

For example, plain jeans, a black T-shirt, a fluffy white dress, and some styles that are hidden by the clothes in front are not easy to identify.

There are cheap ones and expensive ones.

Essex, who lives with her two younger sisters, knows it's clearly not one's clothes.

Although I am a little curious about who else Mr. Young Crane lives with besides Bai Jun. However, it seems a bit unpleasant to ask such a question not long after we met.

Not so familiar yet.

Although Essex looked a little stunned, he wasn't stupid.

"I've read it." The manuscript brought by the white-haired girl was not long, at most two or three thousand words. No matter how carefully read this number of words, ten minutes would definitely be enough.

After saying these three words, Da Fengfeng did not continue to speak.

And Essex waited for a while and found that there was no text, and then said a little uneasy: "Is there something wrong with it?"

She knows her level.

Although I have written some before, but only to the extent of self-entertainment.

What kind of writing, what is interesting, all do not exist.

In the words of the little ghost who only likes detective suspense themes, it is: only novels with ups and downs, suspense, and can firmly grasp the reader's heart can be praised as a novel.

No way, No. 2 Sister Waste Chai only likes detective novels, and doesn't read any other genres. If he didn't really like it, the little ghost wouldn't open a detective agency that would only lose money.

Essex had also asked Sister Hannah what kind of novels were good novels.

But the answer he got was completely different from that of the little ghost.

Hancock believes that only a novel that is vivid enough to describe, that the description is penetrating, and that can be fascinating is a good novel.

But when Dumpling asked Sister Hannah what kind of works could be worthy of these adjectives.

The other party stammered and couldn't say anything.

And Bell also landed on Hancock's shoulder at the right time and touched her head, a strange look that I understand you.

In the end, the bald eagle was caught and thrown out of the house.

It's really hard to write a novel that people like.

Essex has always thought that Young Crane-sensei is quite a powerful existence, and this time, he actually brought such doubts.

"Let's talk about the advantages first, okay?" Da Fengfeng was asking her fans for their opinions. In fact, some of her fans have good writing, such as the little Xiaofeng from Yuyan General Harbor.

The light lily story "The Beautiful Girl Writer and the Famous Actor of Yuyan" has been serialized intermittently for more than 20 chapters.

Every update has received rave reviews, and there are even many who rewarded the author Xiaofeng below.

Not only her fans will like it, but also Missouri, and even admirals who come here will leave comments like "GKD".

This also made the girl a little bit dumbfounded.

She is not that young crane, and Miss Susu is not that Missouri. But who cares about this, because it's really interesting to write.

Well, the novel is, in the final analysis, telling a story, and being able to write an interesting story is the most critical core.

What rhetoric, what grammar, and even writing, are relatively secondary things.

"Okay." The white-haired girl put down the milk cup in her hand and sat up straight, like a student obediently waiting for the teacher to teach.

advantage?

So what she wrote is also good?

But whether it's the little ghost or Hannah's sister, they just shake their heads.

I only say that the writing is not good, it is not like a novel, but what is bad, but it is not very clear.

"The wording is accurate and refined. For example, this paragraph, look here." Mr. Young Crane opened the manuscript and pointed to the upper part. People ask for advice humbly, and girls will teach some things or give some suggestions to go out.

It's not just because the other party sent a gift politely.

"Simmer slowly over low heat, sprinkle with salt, and fry quickly with oil in a hot pan. Reading it will give people a very comfortable feeling. This is the charm brought by the refinement of words."

"..." Essex did not speak, but showed a somewhat happy expression.

"There is also a picture of a girl who lives alone, and here, concise sentences and accurate idioms will make it easier to read."

"This is the charm of these two thousand words." In terms of novels, two thousand words are still too short. If not for a famous author, readers will not choose to click in to watch.

This is just in terms of online literature.

If it is a physical publication, prepare a manuscript of at least 150,000 words and submit it slowly.

What's more, two thousand words can't tell anything at all, what plot, setting, direction, characters, I want to condense into these short two thousand words.

Not to mention Essex, even Da Fengfeng himself may not be able to do it.

As long as it's guaranteed to be interesting enough.

"The next thing is the shortcomings." The girl said. Seeing the white-haired girl with a happy expression, although it is regrettable that she has to attack the other party, this is something that must be done.

"...You said." Dumpling said carefully, not to listen to good words, she knew how much she had.

"I'll talk about the conclusion first." Da Feng said this sentence resolutely: "You don't know how to write novels. Broken."

"While I'm comfortable reading...but does anyone else think the same?"

"No, they all said that I didn't write well." Essex didn't mean to be disappointed. If she could really do it herself, she wouldn't need to come to Miss Young Crane for experience.

"What are your plans now?" Da Feng paused and continued to ask.

"I want to keep writing." Essex loves and is fascinated by the work written by young cranes. For Da Feng herself, she is also happy to use the title of "teacher".

And Xiao Xiaofeng used "Miss Chuhe".

"Then I'll talk about some experiences I understand based on myself, right?" Da Fengfeng asked Essex, who was sitting on the sofa.

In her words, if it weren't for her own accumulation and the reasons for Bai Jun, she would not choose to make a living from novels. The eldest sister will definitely not treat her badly if she goes to the gendarmerie team in Chicheng City to take an idle job.

Reading and writing are two completely different things. If it is purely for life, there are easier and simpler options.

"...Okay, all ears." Essex nodded like a good baby.

"First of all, for now, I don't recommend contacting novels all at once. You can use short stories to practice your skills first, and expand them when the time is right."

"From short to medium to long, step by step."

"You may think that short stories are difficult. In the case of short stories, you have to show more things. But long stories are also not easy. If it is difficult to say, it is probably long."

"This is something that takes time and motivation to do, and it's not as simple as imagined. If you are in trouble in life, I don't recommend doing this kind of work that takes a long time to make money back, or even lose money. "

"This thing just takes a lot of practice." After the last sentence, the girl picked up the drink on the coffee table and took a sip. After talking for so long, she also felt a little dry mouth.

Fortunately, Saratoga is not here, if the other party can see what he looks like now. But there will be no thought that my sister has grown up, has become mature, and so on.

The younger sister Feng, who was so introverted at the beginning and spoke incredulously, has become able to be a teacher of others after a few years, and she also has something she is good at.

She just finds it funny and funny.

"I see." Essex nodded seriously. Teacher Chuhe's statement is actually very simple to think about, even if the sword is slanted, there is accumulation, step by step, grow slowly, and start small, that's what she has to do now.

Although it looks dumb, dumplings are actually surprisingly smart.

"Yeah." The girl nodded.

………………………………………………

Aside from Mr. Taiho and the student Essex, Saratoga has already found the location of the gendarmerie based on the location on the mobile phone.

This mobile phone is the last one used by Da Fengfeng, and it looks a bit old.

According to the meaning of my sister Feng, I wait for Akagi Castle to rest on weekends, and then go to the commercial street behind to buy a new one.

Mingming had just bought it for Richelieu not long ago, and now he is going to buy it for Pippiga. To be honest, the addition of the family in the past two days is still a bit big.