The Silent Princess

Arren's gentle shake pulled her from sleep slowly. She opened one eye and stared at him, still on her stomach from when the doctor had left her. He looked down, worried, a steaming cup in his hand. It's dark, she thought, her eyes coming into focus from her brief rest. Not just his shadows, the curtains were drawn, the only light coming from the window in her sitting room through the door.

She shifted, moving her body slowly, noting what caused pain and what didn't.

"Let me help you," Arren said using his free hand to support her as she moved into a sitting position.

Why does this hurt so much, she thought as she settled against her pillows.

"You weren't asleep for very long," Arren said. "Are you hungry?"

She shook her head.

"This is your medicine," he explained, holding the tea cup to her hands.

She took it, the scent of the brew filling her nostrils, the warmth of the cup spreading through her fingers. She sipped at it slowly while he watched. Ilun pressed his head on the bed, his nose next to her leg.

"He's upset, I won't let him get in with you," Arren explained.

She looked down at the animal, his eyes large and begging, the same expression he used when he wanted food. Does he listen to Arren too, she thought reaching and petting his head, his fur swallowing her fingers.

"Drink your tea," Arren ordered. "It will help with the pain."

She nodded and sipped at the hot liquid again, carefully. Arren watched her silently as she drank. He took the empty cup from her fingers, satisfied, standing. He placed it on the lunch tray before picking it all up as she settled back into the bed.

"Come, Ilun," Arren called the name strange on his tongue.

Ilun whined and pressed his nose into Isilla's face. Her arm felt like lead but she lifted her hand to pet him. "I'm fine," she said.

"Let her sleep," Arren said, crossing the room and placing a hand on the animal.

Ilun turned and stood to his full height. He licked Isilla's hand and walked out of the room, following Arren who pulled the door most of the way shut behind them.

She breathed out, letting her body tumble back into sleep.

The Veil came back quickly, sleep washing over her as soon as she closed her eyes.

Ilun wrapped his body around hers and she sat on ground, not bothering to create cushions, instead, just leaning against his warmth. "See, you're here too. No reason to whine! Only, if you had disappeared, Arren would have said something, right? So there must be two of you. One here and one there."

Does that mean there's two rings too? I left it with Arren in the dream so maybe he still has it? Or maybe it's different with Ilun? Questions spun in her head but she didn't have answers and her back hurt too much for her to focus on them.

"If I leave here, he'll be angry and besides, it's the middle of the day," she said looking across the courtyard. She hadn't left her own dream space since he yelled at her, it seemed dangerous and risky. She realized as she spoke to Ilun that this was the longest time she had ever spent in her own dreaming. All around her the flowers were dying, wilting, turning brown, and then finally falling dry and lifeless onto the sand colored stone below. She didn't have the energy to do anything about them.


Instead she leaned against Ilun and closed her eyes.

His whining woke her, still in the Veil. "I fell asleep? Here?" she asked sitting up, her back still a dull ache. "Why does this still hurt so much? I don't hurt here," she said looking around.

Her courtyard was unrecognizable. The stone had crumbled, her fountains were dry and cracked. A ruin, forgotten and untended by time. "But," she said, reaching out to run her fingers over the cracks in the ground. "I remake this place every time I sleep. Why is it so dark?"

She turned her gaze to the sky above, normally a soft lavender color, to find above her a darkening space, something more akin to twilight. "What's happening here?" she asked, pushing herself to her feet.

Worried she focused on the cracks at her feet. The ground sealed itself around her and then stopped. She swayed, dizzy from the effort.

She grabbed Ilun for support as the ground heaved and broke apart under their feet. She screamed as Ilun hauled them both back, the world opening up underneath their feet, total darkness underneath.

An unmade space, my dream is coming undone, she thought, the words coming to her as she stared into the darkness. "I'm running out of energy," she said stepping back from the growing chasm.

Panic filled her, the certainty that something terrible would happen if she fell filling her. "I have to wake up. Ilun wake me up! Wake me up!"

In the waking, Isilla shot up, wide awake to the sound of Ilun's loud barking directly in her face. Breathing hard, she reached for him, wrapping her arms around him.

"What are you doing?" Arren shouted, storming into the room after him, prepared to pull the animal away from the bed but stopped when he saw her wrapped around him.

Arren waved his hand over the room, his shadows brushing against the lamps, turning them on at his command. He looked over her and crossed the room to the bed. "Move," he said to Ilun pushing the animal away before replacing him, pulling her into her his embrace, his fingers rubbing her scalp through her hair as he pressed her closer to him.

Am I shaking, she thought as she gripped his shirt, letting herself be held, be calmed by his touch. He smells nice, she realized.

"Whatever it was, little bird, it cannot hurt you here," he said gently to her as he stroked her hair, his hands avoiding her injured back.

It's night, Isilla thought as she pulled herself away from him. I've been asleep for hours, I don't hurt as much but I'm so tired, she thought leaning back into the bed, letting Ilun slowly climb into it with her.

"You're moving easier now," Arren said. "Let me see," his voice held the same gentle tone but the words were a demand.

She shifted so that her back was toward him and pulled the nightgown up, showing him her back. His fingers were hot against her skin as he felt along the injury, llun's nose joining them for a moment as the beast sniffed at her skin.

"Go away," Arren said pushing him back. "These bruises are starting to fade. You've been asleep for a few hours but this is the healing of days. How did you do this?"

She dropped her nightgown and turned to him, leaning back on the pillows. She held up her empty hands and he handed her book back to her.

I can't do what you want, she wrote her handwriting smooth and even across the page.

He settled into the bed besides her, his arm brushing hers. "What are you talking about?"

You told me not to go into others dreams but I don't think that's a good idea. If I just stay in my own, something bad will happen, she tried to explain.

"What will happen?"

She shook her head, she couldn't explain the chasm, the ruined courtyard, it wouldn't make sense to someone like him who had never seen it before but he would understand her pain. I won't have enough energy to sustain myself. You said my healing was a kind of magic and here, I don't have enough of it. That's why I'm still like this.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" he asked his voice scolding her.

I didn't know, I've never been in a place where the light was so lacking, she wrote.

He wrapped his arms around her, surprising her with his embrace. "I'm sorry," he said softly, his chin resting on her head. "I would have never ordered you to do something like that if I had known it would put you in danger."

She pushed away from him, no real strength in her arms but the act enough to make him release her and put space between them. I don't understand you at all, she wrote, frowning.

He looked at her, lips slightly parted in shock before he closed his eyes and leaned away from her. Oh, he'll change again, she thought.

"I should not have yelled at you. I didn't ask and it's clear that there are many things I do not understand about you and this ability of yours. Nothing I've read has mentioned any of the things you've done. We do not understand each other and we will continue to have problems between us until we do," he said.

He opened his hands, "I am not very good at this."

I didn't know what would happen, with the ring, I was only trying to make your dream happier, she wrote.

He shook his head, "We don't have to talk about that right now. You're still hurt. You need more rest, something to eat."

She ignored him. And I only asked about the letters because I had a silly idea about you after you kissed me, she wrote quickly.

He paused for a moment, "What did you think? That I wrote them?"

She blushed, embarrassed.

"Is that what you wanted?" he asked.

I just wanted to know the truth, she wrote quickly.

"Then be patient little bird, and you'll find out. The treaty will be finalized in the next few weeks. I told you I would tell you then and then you can decide what you want. This marriage, of course, is not something that can change but there does not need to be anything between us. I will not keep you from someone who makes you happy or trap you with someone who makes you unhappy."

You said you would try to be friends, she reminded him.

He smiled softly, "Yes which means I should also try to hold my temper better."

She frowned, his words strange. Nothing seems to make you angry except me. Today you looked almost bored, she wrote.

"Did I?" he asked but continued before she could answer. "Maybe if I had been quicker to anger, you wouldn't have been hurt."

Across the space between them, his shadows reached for her, thin tendrils wrapping around her wrist and up her arm as they had wrapped around her ankles under her skirts earlier. A protective movement. Is he doing this on purpose, she wondered.

"I was distracted. I didn't expect that woman to attack or for it to be so strong. I'm sorry, my care of you today was inadequate."

You cared for me very well afterwards, she wrote.

He reached out with his own hand this time and placed it on her head, "I would prefer if you were not hurt at all."

She smiled weakly as he removed his hand.

"When you are better, we will discuss the ring and him," he said.

I won't come into your dreams anymore, she wrote.

"Be careful as to whose dreams you enter. Stay out of my father's and brother's at the very least," he paused and then said slowly, "Do not come into my dreams if your intention is to avoid asking me something to my face. Just come to me and ask properly. And do not change anything. I understand you meant to help but it had unintended consequences."

She nodded.

He opened his hand, his shadows swirling for a moment before clearing leaving behind the necklace she had dropped. "And please, wear this. It is safer if you can find me easily."

She nodded and he slid it over her head, pulling her hair free from the chain. The stone sat against her skin, strangely warm.

"I'll call your maids, we'll have dinner together and then I'll leave you to rest."

She agreed, nodding as she moved back to her pillows, Ilun shifting to snuggle closer to her body.

Arren moved to leave the bed and she reached for his sleeve. Did you marry me to get out of your engagement to that woman, she asked.

"I didn't think of her at all when I took you as my wife," he said simply.

Isilla smiled, but she couldn't understand why his words made her happy. He is not, she thought, the one who loves me.