The Simulacrum
Chapter 73
"Here, let me show you again. First, you point one foot where you want to go, and then use the other like this to push against the ice, and presto! You're skating!"
To demonstrate, I kicked off with my right leg, propelling myself towards my girlfriends, changing my direction at the last moment so that I drew a full circle around them before coming to a halt in the front. It was pretty elegantly done if I say so myself, and while I wasn't expecting applause, the 'Boo!' I received from the princess still hurt a little.
"You said you didn't know how to skate!" my Draconic girlfriend accused me with the customary pointedly pointing finger in tow. Her other hand, incidentally, was clasping my dear assistant's gloved fingers as they were doing their best to maintain their balance on the ice. Normally I would've told her to keep it down, but the ice skating rink wasn't exactly crowded, and I doubted the placeholders minded her.
Speaking of which, our anniversary group date proceeded swimmingly right until we reached the crown jewel of the occasion. Thanks to my preparations, the Knights remained passive (and sufficiently bamboozled) for the time being, the weather was surprisingly nice, the aquarium was a lot of fun, and we even got similar attires consisting of color-coded pants and jackets, complete with matching gloves and beanies. Elly was red, Judy was blue, and I was, naturally, black. They were the princess's idea, and she prepared them specifically for this occasion. Everything proceeded swimmingly, and we were all having a great time... right until we got onto the ice, that is.
"I swear, I never put on skates until today," I told them, but my excuses fell on deaf ears.
"Then how can you do that?"
Judy's question made me raise a confused brow, so she indicated my feet, and I only just realized that I was skating backwards while matching their (admittedly pretty slow) tempo as they clumsily circled the rink.
"It's... actually really intuitive?" I told her in return. "It's kind of like riding a bike."
"People can't ride a bike on their first try," my other girlfriend pushed on with a pout on her lips.
"They can't? I mean, you know my condition, right? I didn't even know I had a bike until Josh told me about it a while back, but when I tried riding it for the first time, I had no problem whatsoever."
My girlfriends gave me nearly identical critical looks, and they were soon followed by Judy asking, "Chief, are you sure the 'S.' in your middle name doesn't stand for 'Sue'?" I probably looked quite confused at the moment, because she soon amended, "As in, Gary Sue."
It still took me a second to get her reference, but then I immediately rolled my eyes with extreme prejudice and told her, "The proper term is 'Gary Stu', and no, it isn't. Also, please stop contributing to the pop-cultural dilution of the trope and focus on your balance instead."
As if on cue, my dear assistant immediately slipped and, because they were holding hands for safety, she was about to pull the princess down as well. Fortunately for them, they were in the company of an uncrowned master of the delicate art of girl-catching, so I promptly closed the distance and grabbed hold of their free hands, and with a small tug, I managed to right them both before they could tumble.
"Easy there. Are you guys all right?"
"Yes. I just lost my footing for a moment," Judy stated in a sheepish yet at the same time still deadpan voice.
"Let's take this slow. How about we go a couple of circles around the rink and you practice your gliding?"
Both of the girls nodded pretty much in unison, but when I tried to let go of them, I found that they were holding onto my hands like their lives depended on it.
"Chief, I think it would be better if you taught us how to do it," my dearest assistant proposed, and my other girlfriend showed her agreement with a series of hearty nods. At first I wanted to turn them down, figuring we must've looked pretty darn silly at the moment… but then again, we only had placeholders around us, and I was holding hands with two pretty girls, so why did I even care?
"Sure, that's why we're here. Let's make sure you got the basics down pat, and then once you feel confident, we can horse around a bit. We have the time."
Saying so, I began to gently guide them along the railing surrounding the circular rink, making sure we wouldn't bump into any of the placeholders idling on the ice while I instructed them. Well, okay, 'instructed' might've been a little misleading, as I was about as clear on the technique as I was about quantum mechanics, but I figured as long as I led by example and made sure they wouldn't fall over, things would work out.
Unfortunately, skating really didn't agree with my girlfriends, as it took us a whole loop around the spacious, ice-covered indoor field before they stopped nearly toppling over every two steps. Or rather, glides, but that was beside the point. Honestly, I had no idea why they had so much trouble with this. I mean, Judy wasn't particularly athletic, but she wasn't exactly a klutz either, and considering the princess was both a tennis champion and she also practiced martial arts, I'd have figured she'd have a better sense of balance. But then again, she was also occasionally really clumsy in a cute way, and now Judy was also following suit, even letting out adorable little noises when she was about to lose her footing. I couldn't help but wonder; was this that thing people on the internet called 'moe'?
Anyhow, it took some time and lots of patience (mostly on their part, as I was having a lot of fun just by watching their reactions), but before long, they finally learned the ropes, and during the last round they didn't even need my help to keep them on their feet anymore.
"You're doing great, girls. How about you do a few practice loops around the rink on your own?"
My girlfriends weren't exactly confident at first, but after some more encouragement, they let go of my hands. I was prepared for some hijinks and primed my trusty girl-catching reflexes, just to be safe, but they thankfully remained steady. Well, okay, the word 'steady' might've been overselling things a little, but at least they no longer looked like they were three seconds away from some canned audience laughter and wah-wah music.
I watched over them, casually skating around them until they finished their first unassisted round trip around the edge of the ice, and once I was sure they could safely glide on their own, I told them, "Allrighty! You two should keep practicing. I'll be right back."
"Where are you going?" Judy inquired as she came to a stop, and the princess followed suit. Not that she had much of a choice in the matter, mind you, considering they were still holding each other's hands. I was fairly sure they didn't need to anymore, but maybe it gave them a sense of security?
In any case, I came to a halt in front of them and said, "I don't know about you, but I'm a little chilly, so I figured I'd go and get something warm to drink. I'm pretty sure I saw a food court on our way in."
"You can't do that," my dear assistant declared right away.
"Why? I'm pretty sure you can take drinks into the rink. I've seen other people with—"
"No, not that," Judy cut me off in a hurry and conspicuously glanced around. "If you leave now, the moment you're out of sight, a group of men is going to come over and start hitting on us. Well, maybe not on me, but they'll certainly hit on Elly."
"Really?" my Draconic girlfriend blurted out in surprise and she started glancing around as well.
"Certainly," Judy affirmed with unnecessary gravitas. "It's a cliché."
For a moment I wasn't sure if she was serious or not, but since she remained steadfast, I had no choice but to exhale a long sigh and tell her, "You know, Dormouse, just because it's a common trope, it doesn't mean it's guaranteed to happen. Also, what do you mean they wouldn't hit on you? Why wouldn't they?"
"Because she's the more attractive one," Judy stated like it was obvious.
"Oh come on! Haven't we already established that you're cute? How many times do I have to reinforce it for you to believe me?"
"Yes, listen to Leo," Elly backed me up right away. "You're also pretty!"
I wanted to raise a brow at that unabashed 'also' thrown in there, but Judy beat me to the punch by stating, "According to my own boyfriend, my only two attractive features are my brain and my voice."
"No, those are the things that I, personally, find the most attractive about you. Emphasis on the word 'most'. It doesn't mean you don't have others."
"That's right!" Elly once again agreed with me. "You should be more confident about your looks!" This time it was my turn to agree with her, but before I could do anything more than a nod, she turned to me and asked, "Hey, Leo? What are my most attractive features?"
I sent my Draconic girlfriend a sideways glance, but considering she looked completely serious, I quickly told her, "This kind of came out of nowhere, but if I had to pick two, I'd go with your eyes and your personality."
"By personality, do you mean her breasts?" my other girlfriend leveled the question at me, and to her, I gave a full roll of the eyes instead.
"No, I meant what I said. Not that I don't like them, but they are lower on the priority list." Elly let out an embarrassed giggle in response to my answer, and I decided to cut this topic short by firmly telling Judy, "Also, yes, the same applies to you. I'm quite in favor of your secondary sexual characteristics as well, but I should really get going, because if we keep standing around here discussing what makes you guys pretty any longer, one of us is going to catch a cold."
As if to punctuate my argument, the intangible gods of timing struck again, and Judy let out a cute little sneeze.
"Point taken," she grumbled as she sniffled, and then added, "On the off-chance that someone does hit on Elly while you're gone, what should we do?"
"First tell them they have a terrible taste for not hitting on you as well, then make fun of them until I come back to heroically swoop in and chase them away."
My off-handed and not at all serious answer earned me a serious nod, and before I knew it, my girlfriends started slowly gliding along while still holding onto each other. I'm not going to lie, they looked absurdly adorable while trying to clumsily put my teachings to use, but it wasn't like I couldn't watch them being cute together at literally any time I wanted to, so I bid a short farewell and skated my way over to the rail by the closest exit. Once I came to a halt, I opened the gate and carefully stepped onto the padded walkway leading to the shoe lockers by the kiosk where we borrowed our skates. If my memory served me right, there had to be something like a snack bar around it, so I ventured forth in search of it while making sure to take careful steps on the green felt carpet under my feet. The last thing I needed was accidentally damaging it with the blades and having to work out the reparations with the management.
Once I was inside the lobby again, I considered taking my skates off, but since the placeholders idling around didn't bother, I figured I wouldn't need to do so either. I made my way over to the other side, and following the signs, I soon found the snack bar I glimpsed when we entered the building.
It was a small joint, not even big enough to be called a fast-food restaurant, and it had all the warm drinks, hot dogs, burgers, and other assorted snacks one could ask for. They also had a slushy machine, which was pretty baffling, though Rinne would've probably appreciated it. It wasn't exactly rush hour, but there were a couple of placeholders inside, with three people manning the counter; one of them taking orders, another flipping patties and frying fries in the back, while the third one was delivering the food to the customers, working in tandem like a well-oiled machine. The smell was also pretty tantalizing, so even though I ate with the girls at the aquarium, I decided to pick up some food as well if I was here already.
There wasn't a line but rather a single placeholder spending way too much time on deciding what condiments he wanted, but I still waited out my turn, and it wasn't until I was right in front of the counter that my brows slowly knit themselves into a troubled frown when I noticed that the guy on the other side was someone I was already familiar with.
"Good afternoon sir, can I take your—" It was at this point that the lanky, buck-teethed guy looked me in the eye and suddenly exclaimed, "Oh no! It's him!"
"Who?" the large guy by the stove called out in alarm, and when he turned around, his face suddenly went pale. "Ah shit, it's the bully!"
"Wha'? Whaaaa'?!" came the shrill voice of the small guy barely visible behind the counter, and I couldn't decide whether I was more amused or exasperated by meeting the Goldfish Poop Gang under such circumstances.
Surprisingly, but not unexpectedly, they weren't wearing their retro black school uniforms, sporting grey shirts and red aprons with the shop's logo on the front, with matching red baseball caps instead. I had no idea how the big guy of the trio managed to fit his pompadour under it, but he obviously managed to do it somehow. Speaking of him, the leader at the back soon regained his wits and pointed the spatula in his hand at me.
"You! What are you doing here?! Are you here to ruin our part-time job this time?!"
"Yer' terrible!" the small guy whined, still barely visible on the other side of the counter.
"No, I'm here as a customer," I told him, after which I casually pointed at the stove behind him and added, "By the way, that patty's going to get burnt."
"Wha…? Oh, crap!"
Tony (or at least I think that was the guy's name) turned on his heel and hastily began flipping the meat on the stovetop. In the meantime, I glanced at the guy by the register and told him, "I'd like two cups of hot chocolate, a cheeseburger, and… eh, I feel like experimenting today, so give me a cup of mulled wine."
"Erm… Sure," the tall Goldfish Poop Gang member (Jones, I think) nodded, but then he paused and hastily added, "Alcoholic or non-alcoholic?"
"The latter, obviously," I scoffed back. "I'm a minor on paper, and a law-abiding citizen."
"Uuum… sure, got it."
I waited for them to say or do something, but once I gave them my order, all three of them refused to make eye contact with me, with the big guy, in particular, pretending that flipping burgers was the most concentration-intensive thing on the planet. As such, it fell on my shoulders to establish small-talk. I mean, these were some of the first, non-placeholder people I encountered on the day I first woke up on the island, but I never got around to mark them for Far Sight, so I was actually really curious about how they developed in the time since I last saw them.
"So, how's it going?" I asked with my most amicable of smiles, yet all three of them shuddered in response.
"S-Sir, if you don't want to order anything else, p-please step aside and d-don’t hold up the line," the tall guy told me, or at least I presumed he was talking to me, as he still refused to look my way.
One skeptically raised brow later I let out a small huff, theatrically glanced at my left, then at my right, and then asked, "What line? There's nobody else here." The trio remained adamantly silent, so I placed my hand onto the counter and tried again. "So, since neither of us has anything better to do while I wait for my food and drinks, let me reiterate: how come you are working? Is bullying people for their lunch money no longer profitable?"
I intended that as a joke, yet after a long moment, the tall guy let out a grunt in the affirmative.
"Yeah. We… don't do that anymore."
"You don't?" I asked back, and this time it was the short one who answered me.
"It wuld be bette' to say we can't."
"Really? What happened?"
My innocent question must have cut deeper than I could've ever imagined, as the leader of the bunch angrily turned off the stove and turned to me with an indignant, "You! You happened!"
For a moment I could only blink at the guy, but since that apparently didn't communicate my confusion clearly enough, I blurted out a flat, "What?"
"Yeah, you heard that right!" Tony huffed and puffed as he walked up to the counter and all but growled at me. "It's your fault! Ever since you started bullying us, nobody could take us seriously anymore! I mean, what kind of delinquent gets bullied by a normie?! It made us look pathetic!"
I very nearly pointed out that they really didn't need much help, if any, for that to happen, but I was beaten to the punch by the tall guy.
"What the boss means is that to be good at being an… um… a delinquent, I suppose, you need to be confident. You need to have a kind of… Um…"
"Swagga'," the short guy interjected, and his gangmate gave him an appreciative nod in return.
"Yes, that's it. Thanks Black Pepper. So, as I was saying, without our old swagger, no one took us seriously anymore."
"And because they didn't take us seriously, we couldn't take their lunch money, and it's your fault!" the big guy continued to huff, much to my exasperation, so I decided to once again channel my inner Judy.
"Oh, no. I've accidentally made you unable to steal from people and now you became productive members of society. Oh, the humanity. How am I going to live with myself now?"
"Aw, boss! He's doin' it ag'in!" the small guy exclaimed in borderline horror, to my further exasperation.
"What's wrong with you, man!? Why do you have to bully us all the time?! What have we ever done to you to deserve this?!" The big guy moaned, his melodramatic acting putting even community theater productions of Hamlet to shame, and incidentally resulting in my furthest exasperation.
"Stop trying to guilt-trip me, it's not going to work." The three of them fell silent, so I let out a shallow sigh and asked, "So, since you couldn't steal other students' money, you had to take a part-time job?"
"Y-Yeah," Tony confirmed with a nod. "The place belongs to Jones's uncle, so even if you call for the management, you can't get us fired! Don't even try!"
"Please don't," the tall one added in a considerably more pleading tone.
"Ple'se?" echoed the third guy, and by this point I couldn't stop myself from groaning even if tried.
"I'm not going to get you fired. I just want my foodstuff, and then I'll get back to my girlfriends."
"Oh. Really?" I gave him a nod, and Tony's eyes lit up with a mixture of relief and desperation. "You heard him boys! Quick, get on with it!" the big guy bellowed and he immediately turned the stove back on and started flipping patties like his life depended on it. Similarly, the other two started running around like headless chickens while preparing my drinks, and before I knew it, I had a nice bundle on the counter consisting of a neatly wrapped burger, two topped paper cups with straws sticking out of them, and a different cup filled with a dark red liquid that smelled quite sweet.
"Can you give me something I could use to carry the hot chocolate?"
Before the sentence even left my mouth, the tall guy already put the cups into a paper bag that was apparently designed specifically for this and handed it over to me. I took out my wallet, and after a moment of hesitation, I picked out a fifty Jen bill and handed it over to them.
"Here. You can keep the change."
The three of them froze up the moment I said that and directed a series of uncertain glances at the note in the tall one's hand.
"Is… Is it fake money?" Tony blurted out, and for a moment I didn't know how to react to that.
"No, of course not!"
"Then… ar' ya launderin' money?" the short one proposed.
"No, it's just normal money. Consider it a tip."
"Um… Thanks?" the tall guy muttered, and for once, I flashed him a smile as I picked up my order.
"You're welcome. Just remember: earning money with honest work is always better than stealing from others."
The three of them nodded in unison, though they still looked more than a little skeptical about the banknote on their hands. I didn't really care though, as my curiosity was already sated, and I had more important things to pay attention to, such as my girlfriends.
I carefully made my way back to the skating rink while considering whether the Goldfish Poop Gang's current situation was due to the Simulacrum organically evolving, or because of some freak butterfly effect caused by my interference with them. Or maybe a combination of the two? I considered asking the girls about it, as I figured it could probably serve as a light topic while we played around, but then once I reached the ice, I froze in my tracks (no pun intended) when I found them in the crowd.
At the moment, Judy and Elly were by the railings practically at the opposite end of the field, and they were pretty much boxed in by three guys. I couldn't make out their features, as they had their backs to me, but one of them was wearing a studded leather jacket, while another was eschewing a protective headgear in favor of showing off his silly reverse-Mohawk hairstyle. In other words, they were probably roughnecks, hoodlums, or at the very least ne'er-do-wells.
It was at this point that Judy noticed me and raised her hand over her head. When I didn't start moving right away, she repeated the gesture, except this time with twenty percent more urgency. Needless to say, there was no force on this planet that could've stopped the mother of all sighs escaping my mouth, after which I stepped onto the ice and headed towards my girlfriends while wondering whether Judy ever got tired of being right all the time…
"... In summary, today's date was a rather pleasurable experience. Four and a half out of five stars," Judy concluded on our way home from the restaurant. We originally planned to come home by car, but since the weather was pretty mild and we had a hearty meal with calories asking to be worked off, we decided to walk instead. I'd like to say it was a romantic late evening stroll under the stars, but they were barely visible under the lit streets of the city, so it was semi-romantic at best. But back to Judy's comment.
"Only four and a half?" I teased her with mock disappointment. "So harsh! How did we fail so miserably?"
My dear assistant promptly elbowed me in the side in response, eliciting a giggle from my other girlfriend.
"I had a lot of fun today," Elly remarked between two chuckles. "Even the movie was good!"
"It wasn't bad, but it's the reason why I deducted half a star," Judy responded in turn. "Why did we watch a martial arts movie of all things?"
"Because you don't like romance movies, and it was the only decent alternative," came my unabashed answer.
"Hey! This movie was romantic too!" the princess protested on my other side. "The way the protagonist battled through the palace to save the love of his life was really sweet."
"True, but the kiss-slash-roundhouse-kick ratio was really low," Judy countered, but seeing the princess was about to start pouting, she quickly added, "That said, I didn't expect that the movie would put so much time and effort into the love subplot, so that was a pleasant surprise."
"That just once again proves that you can't judge a book, or in this case, a movie by its cover." Judy gave me a tentative nod of agreement, so I decided to push my luck a little and added, "The same goes for people too, I suppose."
My dear assistant sent me a sideways glance and asked, "You're talking about men at the skating ring, aren't you?"
"It's still called a rink, but yes," I answered with a smile as we rounded a corner onto the street leading to our neighborhood. "Who would've thought that they were just nice guys who were worried about you two and wanted to give you skating tips."
"No Chief. They were definitely bad guys hitting on us," Judy stated in an extra-deadpan voice.
"Don't be silly," I scoffed. "They were perfectly agreeable guys. They even apologized for bothering you."
"Yes, they did, because when you showed up, you looked like you were about to cut their hearts out with the paper cup in your hand."
"Whaaat? No, I didn't," I denied with an over-exaggerated expression of incredulity. "That's just silly-talk! You'd need at least a plastic cup with a straw for that."
Judy promptly rolled her eyes at my protests and stressed, "You might think it was funny, but we were scared by them, right, Elly?"
My other girlfriend didn't react right away, so Judy forcefully cleared her throat to get her attention, at which point her cheeks flushed a little and she hastily said, "Sorry, I just remembered the faces they made when Leo showed up, and it was funny, and I spaced out a little. Could you please repeat the question?"
"Judy was just talking about how you were scared by those three random punk rockers approaching you, and she wanted you to reinforce her point."
"Oh, I see now," the draconic girl by my side muttered like she just understood something profound, only to then frown and blurt out, "I wasn't scared. It was fun!"
"It was?" Judy muttered in surprise, the words apparently hitting her like an unexpected left hook.
"Yes," Elly doubled down with a delighted smile. "The way you made fun of them was so funny I could barely stop myself from laughing!"
"Awww... So you protected the princess by heckling the guys? That's sweet."
I thought my comment would earn me some complaints from my assistant, but she remained suspiciously silent. When I took a closer look, I found her just a little flushed, and she ultimately told me, "Elly's not so good at that kind of banter yet, so I overcompensated a little."
"But if you had the presence of mind to do that, you couldn't have been that scared," I pointed out, which finally earned me an indignant huff.
"Maybe not that much, but it was still a tense moment, and I wouldn't have dared to confront them if I didn't know that Elly could beat them up if they tried to get physical."
"So you compensated for each other's weaknesses? Isn't that just plain wholesome?" I asked one hundred percent innocently, but whatever answer Judy was about to give me was lost in the stunned silence as we rounded the corner leading into my street and we beheld the signs of destruction in front of us.
Even from this distance, I could see that the lamppost in front of my house was diagonally severed, taking down the power lines and all the other lights on that side of the street. The lamps on the other side of the road were still in working order though, which allowed us to see the full brunt of the damage done to the sidewalk in front of my house. Aside from the aforementioned lampposts, there were a couple of deep gashes in the concrete and the asphalt. Furthermore, even though the other poles were still standing, at least one of them had something that looked like claw marks on it, and one nearby traffic sign was bent by ninety degrees at the middle.
The three of us shared a cautious glance and I told the girls, "I'm going to check things. Be on the lookout for trouble."
They both nodded, and I immediately slipped into Far Sight and focused on the dot of my sister, and its direction told me she was in the house, along with two other marks. I glanced at her, and once my vision cleared and I got used to the darkness, I let out a shallow but distinctly relieved breath and told the girls, "Everyone's fine, but let's be careful, just to be sure."
My girlfriends wordlessly agreed and we lined up in a single file, with me at the front and Elly at the back, so that we could keep our only non-combatant safe in case of an emergency. I didn't want to Phase in the open, especially since I would've bet good money on Lord Grandpa putting long-range surveillance on my house after I rebuked all of his more direct attempts, but I still wrapped my Phantom Limbs around Judy and Elly, just in case.
Fortunately, I never needed to act on my precaution, as we made our way over to my front door without any incident. The front door was left unlocked, so I pushed it open, and a moment later I was greeted by the barely visible sight of my sister poking her head through the door leading to the living room.
"Ah. Welcome back," she greeted me in a slightly strained voice as she came over to the entrance while holding a three-pronged candlestick with matching white candles on it. She was also wearing her maid outfit, so her appearance made me think that I accidentally entered into a period murder mystery. I quickly shook the idea out of my head before I accidentally gave the ubiquitous yet intangible Narrative any funny ideas, and I invited the girls in. Hearing the commotion, another person entered the vestibule in a hurry, and once she realized it was just us, she let out an unexpectedly relieved sigh.
"Welcome, Leonard-dono," Rinne welcomed me with a deep bow, followed by two slightly shallower bows directed at my girlfriends. Today she was wearing a sweater and jeans instead of her usual pantsuit, which was rounded out by a fluffy kitten slipper. I had something like five different sets of these things, so I let her borrow one while she was staying over. Anyhow, Judy peeled herself out of her outer coat in the meantime, while the princess took one last cautious glance outside before she shut the door behind herself and let out a small huff, probably miffed by our date ending on a weird note.
"What exactly happened while we were away?" I asked the most pertinent question at the moment, and after a second, Snowy gestured for us to enter the living room.
"It's… a long story. We should sit down first."
"I agree," Judy, well, agreed, if I may be redundant for a moment. "My legs are tired."
I had no reason to object, and once we were inside the candle-lit room, we all but stumbled upon the owner of the third mark I've detected no too long ago in the form of Ichiko. She was wearing a white T-shirt and a pair of loose, bright red knee shorts, probably the closest thing she could find that resembled a Japanese shrine maiden outfit among Judy's hand-me-downs, and she even had a fluffy slipper of her own. As I said, my house had a lot of these things for some inexplicable reason. Speaking of inexplicable, at the moment she was trying her best to light an unfamiliar blue kerosene lamp sitting on the table. Once she noticed us, she flashed a toothy smile and exclaimed, "Look, Ue-sama! I found this in the garage!"
Oh, great. First it was my kitchen, and now even my garage was starting to get filled with weirdly convenient stuff I've never seen before. For a moment I couldn't decide whether that was a good or a bad thing, but considering I had more important things to worry about, I shelved the issue for another day. Elly seemed oddly fascinated by the lamp and quickly walked over to help the foxy miko light it, while Judy was considerably less interested in it, and instead she made her way over to the thermostat.
"It's not working either," she uttered after fiddling with it a little.
"I guess the furnace isn't working if the electricity is out," I responded, followed by the question, "Did you report the outage?"
"Y-Yes…" Snowy nodded before sitting down on the couch. "The utility company said they would send someone in the morning to fix the pole."
"Let's hope we won't have to explain why or how it was cut cleanly in half," I commented on autopilot as I also sat down on my usual seat and, after a deep breath, finally asked, "Now then, could you please tell me why the street in front of us looks like a warzone?"
"Allow Rinne," the highly visible ninja proposed and, without waiting for an answer, she made her way over to my side and fell to one knee. I glanced at my sister, who didn't seem to mind, while Ichiko and Elly were still occupied with the lamp, so in the end I gave Mountain Girl the go. She gave me a firm nod and began her explanation in an unusually serious tone. "The incident procured roughly two hours ago."
"Rinne-san means 'occurred'," Ichiko chimed in from the side without looking up from her project, and I acknowledged both of them with a slightly impatient grunt.
"At that time, an unknown enemy attempted to infiltrate Leonard-dono's abode, but she was thwarted by Sister-san's onmyodo."
"She means my wards," came the next correction, this time from Snowy.
"Describe the intruder," I requested, and Rinne immediately complied.
"A girl about the same stature as Sister-san. She had red hair and used a western sword. Sister-san also attempted to draw her into the Land of Twilight to avoid damaging Leonard-dono's house, but she somehow resisted it."
"I'm… fairly sure she means a Restricted Space," my sister commented again, this time a tad more uncertainly.
"I got it," I responded, my words intermingled with a drawn-out sigh. "Did she try to attack you?"
All of a sudden, Rinne's solemn appearance crumbled as she conspicuously glanced aside, immediately skyrocketing a suspicious brown up my forehead.
"She… didn't actually attack us. Not really," Snowy noted, and when I glanced at her in turn, she hastily explained, "She couldn't pass through the wards, so she was mostly just shouting outside and demanded that I come out and talk to her."
"Did you?"
"I… thought I would be safe as long as I stayed inside the warded area, so I only walked out to the front porch," my sister sheepishly admitted.
"Rinne followed after Sister-san," Mountain Girl added, suddenly back in her serious mode.
"Okay, let's cut the chase: if she couldn't pass through the wards, and she couldn't be taken into a Purple Zone, that means that one of you…" I purposefully paused here as I directed a long, pointed look at the huntress still kneeling in front of me, and once I felt she was sufficiently pressured, I continued with, "… had to go out to pick a fight with her, doesn't it?"
"Rinne-san did not pick a fight!" Ichiko butted in while jumping to her feet, nearly putting out the lantern they've spent so much time lighting if not for Elly's quick reaction. "The girl called Neige-ue all kinds of nasty names!"
"That's right!" Rinne followed her up, obviously relieved that she had backup. "As Leonard-dono's retainer, Rinne must protect not only the lives of the members of his household, but also their honor! Rinne could not stand idle while someone bismarcked Sister-san's good name!"
"Rinne-san wanted to say 'besmirched', but otherwise she's correct!" the little miko doubled down. "Claiming that Neige-ue wasn't ue-sama's true sister and she must've used vile methods to seduce ue-sama! How shameless! How outrageous!"
When she got to the 'no true sister' part, Snowy visibly twitched, but before I could act in response, Judy was already by her side and patting her head. Since she was taking care of that, I continued to focus on the conversation at hand by adding, "So because of that, you attacked her."
"After a warning," Ichiko pointed out in hurry.
"But you still attacked her and caused a lot of collateral damage." Both Rinne and Ichiko fell silent, and I kind of wanted to let them stew in their own juices for a while, but Elly was giving me an impatient look, so I decided to stop beating around the bush. "Still, I can't fault you for trying to protect Snowy, so let's just chalk this up as a learning experience. Next time, be more mindful of your environment." The little miko nodded repeatedly, while Rinne only let out an affirmative grunt. "Speaking of which, I hope you weren't seen by anyone."
"Rinne doesn't think so."
"Good. The last thing we need is the Magi or the Celestials pestering us for breaking the masquerade. Next question: I figure the girl managed to get away, otherwise you would've mentioned capturing her. How exactly did she manage to do that?"
"She was fast," Mountain Girl told me, and no matter how long I waited, she didn't elaborate any further.
"Fast? Is that all?"
"Yes," she asserted with a serious look. "She was weaker than Rinne, but she was much faster, so we couldn't manage to land a clean hit. Once she disengaged, we didn't give chase."
"So she was faster than you…" I reiterated, and she reaffirmed it with a nod. "Was she wearing any armor?"
"No. She only had a sword," Ichiko noted on the side, and I let out a soft 'Huh,' in response.
So, just to summarize: the Knight girl came to my house while I was out, picked a fight with Snowy, the ninja woman and the fox girl decided to teach her a lesson, but she outmaneuvered them and managed to escape scot-free, and did all of that without the benefits of wearing her full gear. That… sounded more than a little troublesome, but on the other hand, at least nobody got hurt. My evening plans were pretty much torpedoed by the lack of electricity, but that was small potatoes compared to how things could've turned out. Actually, that reminded me of something.
"So all of this took place in real-space, right? Why didn't you call me?"
"We… didn't want to disturb your anniversary," Snowy spoke up without looking me in the eye.
"Very considerate, but imagine how much more it would've disturbed us to find out that you got injured while we were having fun." My point made her disposition even worse, so I cushioned it a bit by telling her, "There were three of you this time, and apparently you had things mostly under control, but if something like this happens in the future, don't worry about being considerate, or at the very least call me after the fact so that it wouldn't be a surprise when we get home."
All three of them nodded in unison, so for the time being I decided to drop the issue and focused on my girlfriends. The original plan was for them to stay over the night. Since we won't have school tomorrow, we planned to play around, discuss meta-things with Elly, and stay up until late. Now, while I admit doing all of that in a candlelit room had its charm, the lack of electricity meant I couldn't use my PC, which in turn meant we had no access to either my notes or the funny videos I downloaded and planned to watch with the girls.
In the end, I figured I'd postpone thinking about this for the time being, and instead I addressed Rinne again, mainly as a way to gain some extra time.
"Do you still want me to take you over to the base again?"
She was a little surprised by my question, but quickly nodded and stood up. I already promised her that I would Phase her over, and I also had to pick up a few things from there, so it was hitting two birds with one stone. Three, if we count gaining some thinking time as well.
In the meantime, Mountain Girl picked up Onikiri, changed shoes, and returned to my side, so I stood up as well. Since everyone present already knew about my Phasing ability, I didn't have to bother with the whole 'magical teleport closet' thing, so before we left, I quickly addressed the rest of the group.
"I'll be right back. Do you want me to bring anything back from the base?"
I only asked out of courtesy, but to my surprise, Judy actually had a request.
"Please bring over one of the board games Angeline left there." I must've looked a little confounded, as she quickly clarified, "This is our first anniversary. I refuse to let a power outage completely ruin it."
"I second it," Elly agreed with a fiery look in her eyes, and while I was pretty sure Angie already took the most interesting looking games from Lord Grandpa's 'gifts' for her own, I didn't exactly have much of a choice in the matter when faced with the determined expressions my girlfriends were giving me.
As such, I gave them a nod, and then stepped up to Rinne, wrapped her up in my Phantom Limb, and a moment later we appeared in the main hall of the secret base. The Fauns, like Judy, proved to be remarkably adaptable to my sudden appearances, as us showing up in the middle of the training area barely raised any brows. I left Rinne to her own devices, and after a quick round of greetings, I walked over to one of the storage rooms.
By freak coincidence, the same one housed both the board games and my actual reason for coming over. In the corner, there were two unassuming paper bags. I picked them up, and after making sure their contents were intact, I took them over to the table with the board games. At first I tried to choose one, but then I figured I didn't exactly have to, considering I could take the whole stack home with the exact same effort, meaning none. Thinking so, I picked them all up, made sure I still had the paper bags, and then unceremoniously Phased back to my living room.
"That was quick," Judy noted as I put the boxes onto the table, careful not to disturb the lamp serving as our main source of light at the moment.
"I didn't have anything else to take care of over there," I responded, only just noticing that Snowy and Ichiko were missing. I vaguely gestured in the direction where my sister was sitting until now, and Judy immediately picked up my meaning.
"Neige and Ichiko are in the kitchen. She said we had a metal kettle and she wanted to try making tea with it on the stove."
"Ichiko said she was an expert of tea ceremonies, so she tagged along," my other girlfriend added as she walked over to my side and took a look at the games in front of us. "Which one are we going to try out?"
"Whichever you want, but first…" I paused for a few seconds as I carefully placed the two paper bags on top of the tower of game boxes. The moment I did so, Elly's eyes lit up with curiosity, and even Judy looked pleasantly surprised, so I lightly cleared my throat and told them, "Since this is our first anniversary, I figured it was only proper to give you some gifts for the occasion."
"Aw, Leo! You didn't need to!" the princess cooed as she caught me in a hug, though the way she was eyeing the gifts told me she didn't mean it. My other girlfriend remained perfectly silent and only looked at me expectantly, so I didn't waste any more time and picked up the first bag.
"This is for you, princess."
She practically snatched the bag out of my hand and opened it up with a huge smile on her face, which turned a little perplexed when she retrieved the large, white mug from inside. It only lasted for a moment though, as once she turned it around and saw the writing on it, she exclaimed, "A matching teacup!" and gave me another hug.
To be precise, it was the exact same type of mug Judy and I used, except hers said 'I . I hoped she would like it, and based on her smile, I choose her gift right. That left only one more bag, and I was about to take it over to Judy, but she beat me to the punch and walked up to us instead, so I only had to hand it over to her.
"Happy one-month anniversary, Dormouse."
"Thank you."
After saying so, she cautiously peeked into the bag, and her eyes opened wide(r) in surprise. She gingerly reached into it, took out her gift, and then gave me a strange look, so I gently pushed Elly out of her bear-hug and stepped closer to my other girlfriend, and took her hand holding the large, cream-colored clip bow into my own.
"Say, Dormouse? Do you remember our 'hair theory of importance'?" She nodded, though she apparently still didn't know what I was getting at. "I couldn't help but notice that lately you kept putting yourself down. I wanted to give you a gift to remind you to… well, what I'm trying to say is that this is my way of telling you that you are important to me, and I want you to feel important as well. Please turn around for a moment, and I'll help you put it on."
She obediently did so, much to my surprise, and for a moment I felt a little nervous. I asked Angie to help me shop for hair accessories, and she even let me practice putting on a bow like this one, but doing it live was a bit more nerve-wracking. Still, I recalled the instructions, pulled back Judy's hair a bit, threaded it through the bow, and then snapped the clip so that it would stay in place. I only noticed that I was holding my breath when I finished, so I quickly let it out and grabbed hold of Judy's shoulders to gently turn her around, only to freeze for a moment.
"Chief?" my girlfriend asked in an unusually wavering voice made even more shocking by the tears in the corners of her eyes. "Can I hug you?"
"Erm… Sure. You—" 'don't need to ask for permission for that' is what I tried to say but was interrupted when she actually gave me one. I was so surprised by such un-Judy-like behavior that for a moment I could only blink in a daze. Once I gathered my wits, I sent a glance at my other girlfriend, but she was only giving me a thumbs up while grinning. That said, as unexpected as Judy's reaction was, it wasn't a bad one, so I let the tension drain from my shoulders and returned her hug. The moment only lasted for a few short seconds though, as she separated from me when we heard Snowy and Ichiko returning from the kitchen.
"Sorry. I just became emotional for a moment," my dearest assistant mumbled while wiping the corners of her eyes, and I could barely stifle a laugh.
"I don't think this is something you should apologize for."
"What's that?" the little miko suddenly wedged herself into the conversation the second she arrived. "Judy-ue has a bow now! Pretty!"
"Thank you."
My sister was a little more reserved about the situation, as she sent me a glance that asked if everything was all right. I gave her a smile that said that there's nothing to worry about, so she let out a relieved breath and put the tray in her hands onto the table.
"We brewed some green tea," she stated, and my Draconic girlfriend was by her side in a nanosecond.
"That's great! Now I have my own family mug to go with it too!" Saying so, she proudly showed off her new gift, followed by a haughty and yet incredibly cute laugh. Seeing her so happy over such a small gift made me reconsider the common wisdom of rich girls being high maintenance. Though again, maybe it was just her.
Speaking of gifts though, Judy finally collected herself, and after reaching to the back of her head and touching her new bow, she looked at me and whispered an unusually timid, "Thanks, Leo. I really appreciate it. Both the gift and the meaning behind it."
"You're welcome," I told her with a toothy grin.
"If you told me there would be gifts, I would’ve prepared something as well."
"No need. Just having you around is the best gift I could ask for." Elly let out another giggle in the back, but my dear assistant was only giving me an odd look, so I uttered a curious, "What?"
"You're doing unexpectedly well today, Chief. You managed to give us romantic gifts and be nice without ruining the mood even once. It's almost impressive."
"Well, let's just say I'm putting in some extra effort," I said a tad modestly before putting my palm onto the boxes by my side and stating, "So, what do you guys want to play? We still have a couple of hours until bedtime, so we might as well have as much fun as our current lack of electricity allows."
"This one, ue-sama! Let's try this one first!" Ichiko proposed right away while pointing at the most colorful box, and since there were no objections, I figured we might as well start there.
And just like that, our anniversary date ended on a cozy note, our little group huddled around a candle-lit room and playing games together like one big, happy family… which we kind of were, now that I thought about it. In short, even though we ran into a small hiccup near the end, things turned out really well, so for the time being I ignored the Knights, the supernatural, and even the Simulacrum and its nebulous narrative, and enjoyed myself, because even I need some time to unwind from time to time.
"Sister Penelope. Your conduct was… foolish."
Following the red knight's remark, the bare room housing the round-ish table descended into a tense silence. The four Entitled Knights seated around said table remained completely still as well. They were all wearing their full suits of armor, as usual, and if not for the agitated eyes visible behind their visors, one might've even mistaken them for props at an especially high-budged medieval fair.
This was, naturally, the infamous calm before the storm, and it arrived in the form of Miss Unicorn slamming her palm against the tabletop. Strangely enough, it made considerably less noise than one would've expected, but then she made up for it by raising her voice into a straight-up shout.
"At least I was doing something!" she exclaimed, her eyes practically glowing with indignation behind the slits of her helmet.
"And that 'something' was compromising Brother Leonard's cover," Mr. Eagle pointed out with the savage succinctness of truth, and it immediately took the female Knight aback… only for her to immediately turn around and double down, as teenagers often tended to do in front of older authority figures, sense be damned.
"No, I was trying to contact him to warn him about the insane teleporting Abyssal on the island! Since none of you bothered to do it, I had no choice but to go and get it done by myself."
"We already tried," Mr. Griffon pointed out on the side. "I attempted to call the phone number Sir Arnwald used to contact him in the past, but I couldn't connect."
All things considered, that wasn't too surprising, as I never bothered to charge said phone after I managed to mark a Squire. In fact, I wasn't even sure where it was right now. Probably on the shelf in the living room, I reckoned. I would've checked, but I was tied down at the moment. That said, once I was less occupied, I figured I should probably put it on a charger and make a custom voicemail message telling them I was too busy with nefarious Knight stuff to answer.
I mean, I now had practically full access to their base and operations by marking Arnwald, so I didn't exactly need the phone anymore, but it never hurt to keep my options open in case I would, by some twist and turn, be forced to contact them as 'Brother Leonard'.
Anyhow, while I was pondering on that, the scene in front of my ethereal eyes moved along with Miss Unicorn once again slamming her palm against the hardwood table.
"Isn't that all the more reason to contact him directly? I simply did my duty as a member of the Brotherhood and upheld my Oath of Loyalty!"
"Och c'moan Penny gurl. We baith ken ye gaed thare tae pick a ficht with th' Abyssal lassie," Mr. Minotaur grumbled on the side, earning him a huff from the girl.
"I didn't! I went to Leo's house to talk, but then she told me to go away, and she even had the gall to call him her brother! How could you expect me to remain civil after that!?"
The other knights all shared a long, conflicted glance between the three of them, but at last it fell on Mr. Eagle's shoulders to say what was on their mind, and he did so after linking his fingers on the table.
"Sister Penelope. We've discussed this in the past already, but you mustn't let your... fixation with Brother Leonard cloud your judgment and interfere with our mission."
"It's nothing of the sort!" Miss Unicorn denied with such vehemence it momentarily made her voice rise into its natural pitch. "Leo is my brother! It's only natural that I want to make sure he's safe!"
"But not at the cost of jeopardizing both his cover identity as well as our truce with Bel of the Abyss."
"I wouldn't have compromised his cover, and as for that Abyssal, I couldn't care less," she huffed back.
"You should, Sister Penelope. We still don't understand the full breadth of abilities this 'Bel of the Abyss' possesses. Until such a time comes, we must make sure to avoid direct confrontation with him. We can't be the ones to break our deal with him, and you absolutely can't give him an excuse to think we did."
"I didn't make a deal with him," Miss Unicorn countered in a low hiss. "You did."
"In the name of all of us," the red knight pointed out, and the last word barely even left his mouth before the girl slammed the table for the third time, this time with both of her hands, and she even rose to her feet for further emphasis.
"And who gave you the right?!" she bellowed, apparently no longer caring about putting even a token effort into maintaining her fake contralto voice.
"It wasn't a question of rights, but one of necessity," Mr. Eagle bit back, also raising his voice in the process. "Someone had to take control of the situation."
"Bullshit!" the girl yelled as she stepped away from the table and turned her back on the others. "You are not our King, and you have no right to tell me what I can and cannot do! I will talk to Leo, I will warn him, and I won't hear any 'orders' to the contrary!"
"Sister Penelope!"
Before the red-clad man could add anything, the Unicorn Knight was already through the door and she slammed it hard enough behind herself that it made the air in the room reverberate for a solid five seconds after she left.
"Well, that went about as smoothly as I expected," Mr. Griffon noted on the side, but seeing how the man in the red armor remained silent, he added, "Don't worry, Sir Arnwald. She's just too worked up about her brother to see the big picture at the moment. Once she calms down, I'm sure she'll come around."
"Fur th' record, ah tellt ye this wid happen," the big man with the horned helmet commented, but when he noticed the others giving him odd looks, he quickly crossed his arms in front of his chests. "Whit? Ah did! Ah tellt ye taking thaim baith in wid be trauchle, ye dingyed me, 'n' 'ere we ur!"
"We didn't ignore your opinion, Brother Duncan. We simply had no choice in the matter," Mr. Eagle stated with just a hint of resignation in his voice. "Sister Penelope was, and still is, a genius seldom seen more than once in a century. When she insisted that she wouldn't leave the orphanage without Brother Leonard's company, our Brotherhood couldn't afford to ignore her."
"Aye, 'n' that's howfur we git that trooblemak'r piggy-baak his wey intae oor ranks," the Minotaur Knight continued to grumble, but stopped the moment the man with the griffon helmet on the other side pointedly cleared his throat.
"You don't actually mean that, do you, Duncan?" When the big man remained silent, Mr. Griffon exhaled a long sigh and placed his hands onto the table. "Yes, I admit, the way Leonard gained entry into our Brotherhood was unorthodox, to say the least, and his mastery of our combat disciplines are… lackluster, to put it mildly, but he earned his Title just the same as you or I did, and he is our peer now."
"Not to mention, while Brother Leonard's ideas and conduct might be far from traditional, his methods are definitely effective and his character is trustworthy beyond a shadow of a doubt," Mr. Eagle added in a solemn voice. "If he wasn't, there was no way the late Sir Percival would've entrusted him with the duty to safeguard Caledfwlch."
"Aye, ah ken, ah ken, bit ye ken whit ah meant," Mr. Minotaur finally relented, though not without a dismissive wave of his hand.
"Speaking of Caledfwlch," Mr. Griffon mused, "Wasn't Leonard on the island to test one of the potential wielders? Whose bloodline did he belong to again?"
"I can't say I know," Mr. Eagle admitted. "Brother Leonard inherited both the sword and the role of the Keeper of Bloodlines from Sir Percival, and to be perfectly honest, I never truly involved myself in their duties enough to understand its intricacies."
"Ah woonder if we ur ever aff tae fin' a freish king," Mr. Minotaur whispered, but he was loud enough so that the others could still hear him
"We can only hope," Mr. Red noted a tad dourly. "The last wielder of Caledfwlch was born over three centuries ago, and our Brotherhood fragmented too much in their absence." He sent a meaningful glance at the door through which Miss Unicorn left, and let out a small sigh. "Brothers, I have a confession to make. As much as I wish I could lead us, Sister Penelope is right. I may possess seniority, but we are still peers. Without the authority to enforce unity in the face of the wyrmbloods, let alone the likes of this Bel of the Abyss easily infiltrating our sanctum, I fear for our Brotherhood's future."
"Easy, Arnwald," Mr. Griffon soothed his colleague with what I presumed was a smile behind his visor. "Things aren't so dire yet, and who knows? Maybe Leonard already found someone to pull the sword from the stone and this whole discussion is pointless."
"Speaking o' that dawbag muncha', whit ur we aff tae dae aboot him?" Mr. Minotaur interjected.
"If you are referring to Bel of the Abyss, I'm afraid there is little we can do at the moment," the red knight answered, followed by a shallow groan. "The Squires inspected the entire building, but there was no sign of entry, and so long as we don't understand his ability to rapidly shift his location, we must remain constantly vigilant and take care not to antagonize him."
"I believe he might possess some kind of time-manipulation ability," Mr. Griffon posited. "We already know that he doesn't move through space thanks to Duncan's ability, and if it was some form of an illusion, you would've detected it."
"True, but… time manipulation?"
The red-clad man sounded profoundly skeptical, but Mr. Griffon pressed on with his hypothesis anyway.
"The Lords of the Abyss all have truly preposterous abilities, so it isn't unthinkable."
"Whoa, haud yer horses fur a seicont! Urr ye suggestin' this roaster wis an actual Laird?!"
"It would explain his powers and why he referred to himself as 'of the Abyss'," the Griffon Knight countered back, and the third man in the room nodded in agreement.
"Brother Roland's words certainly make sense. It wouldn't be the first time a Lord of the Abyss walked the streets of this island, and if anything, it would only mean that avoiding a conflict with him was the right choice. We cannot afford to fight on two fronts when the gathering of the wyrmbloods is just around the corner."
"Not to mention, we still need to get the Ascalon back from him," Mr. Griffon pointed out in a hurry. "If we lose track of him now, we also lose the spear."
"'n' tae think hings keeked sae simple juist a few weeks ago. Gather a' body, smash th' wyrmbloods gate doon, git th' spear, 'n' git oot," Mr. Minotaur continued to complain to no one in particular.
"As a wise man once said, plans rarely survive an encounter with the enemy," Mr. Eagle responded with a profound nod in tow.
"Who's that from?"
"I… can't seem to remember. It was an idiom I've borrowed from Brother Leonard," the red knight admitted.
After this point, the discussion between the three rapidly devolved into throwing famous quotes at each other and trying to figure out where they came from, and while it was amusingly idiosyncratic watching a group of grown men clad in armor arguing about what quip Churchill may or may not have said, it wasn't particularly informative. Unfortunately my main target has long since left the base of the Knights, but since I didn't have a mark on her, I was still stuck in this room. Not for long though, as I soon ended this Far Sight session and returned to my completely dark room.
At the moment I was lying flat on my back on top of my bed, with my girlfriends using my upper arms as pillows while sharing the same blanket. It wasn't entirely uncomfortable, but I admit I was getting a little numb by this point. After a very long and tumultuous game of Monopoly, full of ups and downs and trying to convince the girls that it was literally impossible for me to cheat at this game even though the piles of fake money in front of me said otherwise, we decided to go to bed a little early. We had a short chat in the bed, and I waited for Judy and Elly to fall asleep before I started doing Far Sight roll calls, accidentally stumbling upon the scene in the Knight base in the process.
To be honest, part of the reason why I did so was that I was getting a little bored, but mostly because the girls were wearing some fairly, so to say, provocative night-wear and I needed something to distract myself. Apparently this was part of some kind of multi-stage plan to awaken my libido, which needed no help if I may add, but this time they might've overreached a little, as they were too embarrassed by their own appearance to try anything more physical than accidentally rubbing certain parts of their anatomy on me while they were turning in their sleep.
Speaking of which, Judy did just that, and I tried to use the opportunity to slip my arm out of under her head. I was successful, though I might've been a little hasty, as her eyes popped open the moment her hair touched the pillow.
"What time is it?" she whispered a little groggily, so I immediately used my newly freed hand to pat her on the head and tell her:
"It's still in the middle of the night. You can go back to sleep."
My deadpan girlfriend stifled a small yawn in place of an agreement and sidled even closer to me, once again bringing those aforementioned squishy bits of her anatomy to bear, and a moment later she was back in sleep again. I couldn't help but wonder once again if Judy was actually really good at being alluring, but she was overthinking things so much it only really worked when she did it unconsciously. I decided not to worry about this for the moment and instead I focused on the new things I've learned today.
One: apparently I was an orphan and came from the same orphanage as the Knight girl. Two: she called me her brother, which still didn't completely put her off the harem-radar, but if it was true, at least it provided me with a solid excuse to turn her down and keep her at arm's reach if the dreaded Narrative wanted to throw us at each other like an over-excited child smashing action figures at each other while demanding they kiss. Three: the stupid sword in the stone was literally Excalibur by another name, which was a little disappointing. I was expecting something slightly more elaborate, like Claíomh Solais, or Dáinsleif, or even something more exotic, like Cura Si Manjakini. Yes, I did a lot of research on magical swords after the Knights appeared, why do you ask?
Jokes aside, the rest of the discussion surrounding it made me think. Apparently whoever pulled the off-brand Excalibur from the stone would be the King. Not of Britain, but of the Knights which, considering that king Arthur was often called the 'King of Knights', didn't make things any simpler. Anyhow, here's the important part: apparently, said 'King' had some form of authority over the rest of the individualistic Knights. Now, the full extent of that was questionable, as I imagined trying to keep these guys in line was tantamount to herding a group of especially ornery cats, but it was an option I didn't really consider before.
Until now I was mainly focusing on either getting rid of or defanging the Knights, but if pulling the sword also came with an actual, sanctioned leadership position, it provided a brand new opportunity ripe for exploitation. I just had to figure out how to do it. Unfortunately, the Dracis family's understanding of the hierarchy and the internal workings of the Knights was spotty at best, and while I could observe them, I couldn't exactly just ask them to explain how I could subvert them from the inside by courtesy of being an unanticipated sword puller.
Well, unless…
"Shit, I'll have to talk with the sword again, won't I?"
My whisper was barely audible, yet it still made the princess start squirming on my other side, so I did my best to remain still as to not disturb her sleep anymore. At last, she let out a content sigh and also sidled even closer to me. As such, now I was quite literally sandwiched between my two girlfriends, with no way out. For a moment I almost considered that forcefully limiting any lewding until Christmas might not have been such a great idea after all, but I quickly shook the notion out of my head. That said, this was the bed I made, so now I had to lie in it, quite literally, and thus I took a deep breath, steeled my mind, and focused on coming up with a plan to utilize the silly talking sword in the corner of a storeroom to my advantage, squishy bits and hormones be damned.
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