The Stars In Your Eyes

He Zheng met the famous Jian Kang Lu before Bai Yutang's paternal grandfather passed away. At that time, Bai Yutang was on duty guard while Lu Hua and Bai Yuren were going home. He Zheng called Bai Yuren, the call picked up by Bai Yutang. Turns out her mobile phone was left in the hospital. 

Bai Yutang knows that He Zheng is close to Bai Yuren, after contacting Bai Yuren through his mother's phone, Bai Yuren told him that He Zheng could pick her phone and deliver it to their house.

At this time, only a fool who still believes He Zheng is an ordinary friend.

When He Zheng arrived at the hospital, he saw a man sitting next to Bai Yutang. When Bai Yutang stood up and the man following, He Zheng felt intimidated to see this tall man. He Zheng felt the man was familiar. After hearing his name, he realised this is the famous Jian Kang Lu, Bai Yutang's boyfriend.

Yes, He Zheng knows about Bai Yuren's gay brother and his boyfriend.. How could he not, when Bai Yuren often lamented about the cold war between her mother and her brother.

Well, he had to admit that Bai Yutang's boyfriend is really handsome, and a famous nephrologist in B city. Even though He Zheng didn't know him, Bai Yuren told that this man is working in B hospital in B city. Which doctor didn't know about B hospital in B city?

He Zheng was embarrassed when this man asking Bai Yutang, "Is this RenRen's boyfriend?"

He Zheng couldn't answer, he could only lower his head and saw Bai Yutang pinch the tall man's waist slightly and called in a low warning tone, "Gege.. Don't bully him."

How He Zheng wished he could answer that he was Bai Yuren's boyfriend. But he couldn't, because he was not Bai Yuren's boyfriend.

The tall man asks in a completely ignorant innocent tone, "Why do you say that I bully him? I'm just asking."

He Zheng excuses himself under the pretence that this is already dark, and he wants to deliver the phone quickly to Bai Yuren.

Bai Yutang smiled, "Be careful, safely drive."

He Zheng rides his motorcycle and delivers the phone. Lu Hua, as usual, asks him to have dinner first before he goes home.

He Zheng went home after dinner. At his small rented room, he laid his back on the bed and stared at the yellow ceiling. 

He likes Bai Yuren. He likes her so much. So so much, he couldn't even describe how much he likes her.

But.. He doesn't have the courage to ask her to be his girlfriend. He was afraid Bai Yuren would say no to him. If that happens, he will lose their close ambiguous relationship.

He Zheng didn't prepare for it. 

He still remembers the first time he saw Bai Yuren. At that time, he didn't have a deep impression of her. Just another girl in the class.

But then they have anatomy class together. They were in the same group. The formalin's scent is so strong it hurts their nose.

It amused him when he heard Bai Yuren talking to the girl next to her, "Here, use this. My gege's friend told me to put this in our mask." Then she turned her head to He Zheng, "Here, do you want also?"

He Zheng shook his head, politely refused.

Bai Yuren laughs and sprinkle some of the oil onto the new mask and gives it to him. "Do you know that your eyes are red? Looks like you just got bullied by us. Don't cry and don't be shy."

He Zheng is a timid boy, he doesn't talk much. He only knows how to study, just like most of the people in the medical faculty. Bai Yuren's lively personality, who could be close to strangers, is a new experience for him.

Soon, he saw this girl studying harder. Her grade is superior, better than him. In their second year, he heard that Bai Yuren is a scholarship student. No wonder, with that grade. 

But he was confused, because Bai Yuren didn't look poor. Her appearance and her clothes showed that she came from a middle class family if not the upper class one.

It is well known that medical faculty's tuition is the most expensive among other faculties. Most students come from the middle class, or have doctor's parents. Only a few of them come from low economic backgrounds, and all of them are scholarship students.

Medical books are expensive, but Bai Yuren has them. How could she have it if she were poor? Usually they will study in the library, or copy the pirate ebook. Once when they were sitting close to each other, he heard Bai Yuren talking to her friends. 

"This is given to me by my gege's friend. Here, he gives me important notes on which part is crucial for us to learn." 

Bai Yuren is generous enough to lend her book as long as they return it to her. She said she has the original e-book version in her tablet so it won't affect her study.

Sometimes their class has occasions where they go to eat together. Bai Yuren often said, "I don't have money, I'll go if someone treats me."

It was rare for He Zheng to find a girl who was as brave as Bai Yuren. Most people will want to show their wealth, especially girls. But Bai Yuren wasn't shy to show that she didn't have money, she was confident with her study, and she always smiled brightly.

He Zheng was curious, then found that Bai Yuren was indeed coming from a middle class family, but her father passed away right before they started their first year. It was not a secret that her living cost was covered by her brother, who is also still studying in in B city.

He Zheng still remembers when his friend in the dorm laughed when he said, "It's true! Bai Yuren herself says that her brother is working as part timer for an architect firm and as a housekeeper, cooking for his friend. I don't believe it though. Which man wants to work as a housekeeper just for the sake of getting paid?"

He Zheng didn't comment on his friend's words. But later when his parents passed away in a car accident, he thought of Bai Yuren's brother.

He Zheng will gladly work as a housekeeper if he could get money to live on. He himself has a younger brother who is still studying in junior high school. Both of them become orphans at the same time.

For the first time, He Zheng tasted the cruelty of the real world. Their inheritance is not much. If they sell the house, his brother's future university tuition is secured. But how about himself? How about his brother's living cost before the house was sold?

Luckily, He Zheng's uncle was willing to provide his brother's daily cost. He Zheng's brother stayed with his uncle's family while He Zheng asked his uncle to sell the house.

Selling their childhood house with many memories inside was a hard decision for He Zheng and his brother. But they didn't have any other choice. Selling a house is not like selling carrots in the market. It took almost two years until finally someone bought the house.

He Zheng often talked with Bai Yuren about applying for a scholarship at that time. He would be lying if he said those times are easy for him to pass.

He talks less and less. But Bai Yuren always brightly asks him whether he wants to join her studying in the library together. Bai Yuren took him to eat in a cheap cafeteria or the cheap restaurant on the back of their faculty.

"Here. The fried rice here is tasty, a big portion, and only costs 10 yuan! Trust me, the uncle here is an angel!" With those sweet words, the uncle gave them extra fried eggs.

He Zheng found he smoothly managed to pass the transition from a boy who didn't need to think about food price to a man who counted every cent he had carefully. All because of Bai Yuren.

In He Zheng's eyes, Bai Yuren is the prettiest among all the girls he has ever met. The most dazzling creature captured in his retina.

She was smart, she was kind, she was honest, and most of all, she never pitied him.

Some of his friends didn't agree with how he always followed Bai Yuren's words, or in other terms, Bai Yuren's order.

"He Zheng, you're a man! Why do you let Bai Yuren command you this way? She's bullying you, man!"

How could he explain that he was happy if he could do something for her? He could not treat Bai Yuren to a nice dinner. He could not give Bai Yuren things like other men do when he wants to pursue their woman. He could not give Bai Yuren promises that he will take care of her for the rest of her life.

How could he? While he himself still couldn't take care of himself and his brother?

Bai Yuren's request, or in other word, Bai Yuren's order, gave him a strong sense that he could also do things for her. Getting closer to her. Showing her that a man named He Zheng is willing to do anything for her.

He Zheng once told himself that when they graduate, he will confess to Bai Yuren.

But then.. Bai Yuren invited him to have lunch at her house.

"He Zheng, my mom told me to invite you to have lunch with us this weekend at my house. Do you want to come?"

He Zheng felt like he was dreaming. Why did Bai Yuren invite him? Especially when he came and found that half of the dishes were cooked by Bai Yuren. He dares not to ask, afraid that Bai Yuren won't invite him again in the future.

Afraid.. If the answer was not what he expected.

They meet more often, they talk on the phone, and chat about their private life. Yet the closer they are, the more afraid he wants to say what was buried in his heart.

He Zheng knows he is a coward.

After graduation, doctors can't work immediately. They need to complete 2 to 3 years residency training if they want to become specialists. After that, they need to take a Licensing Examination. To open their private practice, they need to work for 5 years after taking the licensing examination.

Some doctors who are unlucky and can't enrol in residency training, choose to work in small clinics or in pharmaceutical companies. Residency training needs money, connection, and luck. He Zheng didn't have money nor connection.

After graduation Bai Yuren intends to take residency training in Z hospital in W city. He Zheng often heard her complaining that she had to give up her dream to take residency in Jian Kang Lu's hospital because of her mother's conflict with her brother.

He Zheng now works in a small 24 hour clinic to scrape money. He bought his motorcycle with that money. New graduate doctors only paid 4000 to 5000 yuan per month, depending on their patients. No need to say how frugal He Zheng lived in these past few months. 

With his poor condition, inferior to Bai Yuren, does he still have the qualification to confess to Bai Yuren?