The Substitute Bride

"Okay," the word came out dry from Charles' mouth. The news of Sheryl's memory returning did not spark anything within him.

Whether she was Sheryl or Autumn, whether or not she remembered her past — it was her life, and he had nothing to do with that. It didn't affect how he felt about her.

What did concern him, however, was how often her head ached, and how often she felt faint lately.

"Sher," the nickname felt right on his lips, he thought. It didn't matter if the woman in front of him held new memories that day, he would treat her as he always would. "How are you? Do you feel better now?" He went to her side in concern. It pained him to see her in such a state, leaning on the bed with a needle in her hand, looking fragile and restless.

At that moment, Sheryl felt more whole. She remembered many things. She looked at Charles and felt the affection she had tucked away within herself — she had loved him deeply.

Even so, she could not completely recall the moment when she had her baby. She could piece most things together, but not the piece she cared for the most.

"What's wrong?" Charles prodded. "Are you feeling sick?" When she didn't answer, he motioned to David. "Call the doctor in."

It snapped Sheryl out of her little trance, and she sighed. "I'm fine, Charles. I don't need to see the doctor."

"You worry me," he sounded uncertain. Charles sat down near her, but not close enough to disturb where she rested. "What can I do? If something happens to you, what can I do?"

Sheryl gave him a smile. It was slight, but reassuring. "I'm fine. I promise." 'Autumn, ' she suddenly thought of the name. She was Autumn, and she still was, even if she had led a different life for three years.

"What's the matter?" Charles wanted to comfort her, make her feel safe. But he knew that a million things were going on in her head, he could see it in her eyes. She was in front of him, but her mind was far away, putting together pieces of a life she has drifted away from.

He took her hand in his. "Do you

"

She smiled reassuringly, but Sheryl had that complicated feeling in her chest once again. How could she have deserved Charles' love for her? How could she face him after all he had done for her?

She was with Anthony the past few years. And while they never slept together, She couldn't help but feel bad for Charles.

It was a long day, Sheryl thought. "I'm quite tired now. Thank you, Alice. I'll try to sleep for a while." She closed her eyes and tried to will the loud thoughts away.

"Alright, Mrs. Lu. You have a good rest, and call me if you need anything. I'll just be at the door."

Alice made her way out, and Sheryl was alone in the room. It was chaos in her mind. Too many thoughts came rushing in and out, too many 'what-if's' and 'what-should've-been's.' It was too much for her.

When Charles returned, he was as quiet as possible so as to not wake her. She could still hear him, of course, because she was wide awake, but she had no mind to face him.

She didn't know how.

For a time, Charles thought that as long as Sheryl recovered her memory, they would be able to find the child. Her memories were back, but something about this cursed day still kept it away from them.

'Maybe…' he started to think. 'Maybe it's better this way. Maybe it's better that she doesn't remember the pain of having a child, and losing one.'