The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!
Chapter 555: Being a Bandit is Hard!
****(POV)
Life can be so harsh at times. Before this ridiculous war, there were plenty of merchant caravans passing through. They would come from or toward Eaglevein, and we'd just happen to be there to steal a part of the treasure.
We have been training diligently recently, and we have definitely become stronger. But, it still doesn't change our situation! I can hear the band members grumbling again.
"I'm so hungry! I want real food, not tasteless roots anymore!"
"It can't be helped. At least we have something to eat. It could be worse. We could be members of that City of Starvation thingy."
"That doesn't help one bit! It's like saying: don't worry about getting tortured and killed because, in the other cell, a guy is getting tortured even more sadistically."
"What do you even mean?"
"Easy, this life is pure suffering! It's one thing that it's tasteless but what I truly hate is how this thing gives diarrhea. How are we supposed to fight when we can just start shitting ourselves any moment. This is worse than the taste by far!"
"Well, even then, it could be worse. Nowadays, we are training naked anyway. Not only is this amazing as an intimidation tactic, but it almost nullifies this issue too! Could you imagine if we had to change clothes?!"
I can't blame them either. Anyone satisfied with our current living situation is horrible, actually probably not human at all.
We can always go far away, but it usually ends up that we are blocked by one faction or another. We actually made it pretty far one time, yet we are always coming back.
This seems like a damn curse. The only comforting part is that we aren't the only ones stuck with it. The entire world is going to shit. In our area, it's a lot of liquid smelly one too.
I am still lowkey hoping for a miracle. At this point, I'll take anything, really. Hopefully, we find a nice plant in the wild that is easy to cultivate and eat. Or perhaps a merchant caravan would pass here for some ridiculous reason?
I have no clue, but at this point, I'm ready to beg too. This just isn't a life. It's ironic that we still have gold pilled up in our hideout. Talk about how useless that is!
Well, there is one good thing. That would be hunting. Animals, insects, other humans, anything. If it can be cooked we are happy to go after it.
Just as I'm despairing, I hear a shout.
"Boss! Look over there!"
What the hell is that?! There seems to be a huge creature coming our way. Its skin is the color of human flesh, but I don't know what it is. It does look soft, however. I can't help but salivate a bit as I watch the thing intently.
That is when I notice a small shadow next to him. What kind of thing is this? As the two things approach closer, I finally notice what it is. The small shadow is a human male.
He looks extremely weak and completely abused, and that's coming from a guy that soils himself on a daily basis.
That flesh thingy is extremely big. Honestly, any guess as to what it is would sound plausible. That is when the small man opens his mouth.
"I'll go straight to the point. You guys are having a rough time, we are also having a rough time, but we have an opportunity to get out of our slump.
I can't help but be raise an eyebrow in distrust and curiosity.
"Why would you extend this invitation to us? Where is the catch?"
"It's simple. We need more people on our side. We will also begin acting as bandits from now on. I figure your experience can make the acting smoother. I cannot believe you guys would want to remain here in this shithole."
He sounds right. But what if he is trying to take overly advantage of us? Ah, this is such a difficult choice. I look at my bandit members and....Wait! As I was thinking, they have all switched walked over to his side.
What kind of betrayal is that?! But then, I hear all of our stomachs rumble, every single one of us. It is the sound of an empty stomach, one that has been for a long time already and is getting desperate.
Actually, just this helps to sway me.
"So, what is the plan exactly?"
"The follower of Gluto will take care of the enemy while we will be in charge of the actual logistic, looting, cooking, anything that isn't related to directly eating."
It sounds fair and we are not afraid of hard work. I grin as I ask enthusiastically.
"So, when do we start?"
"How about now!"
"Perfect!"
We share a look, then we share a handshake, and finally, he brings us to the old City of Freedom. What is it now? Who knows. As we come closer, we see that it doesn't look that bad besides the starving population.
They have the exact same problem as us. This is kinda funny in a way. Who would have thought that us bandits and an official branch of a powerful sect would end up the same? Life can truly be strange at times.
That's when we all smell something. What is that?! We all rush forward, onl6y to be stopped by our new allies. Of course, we protest.
"Release us! Whatever this is, it smells like real food! It's been so long! Just a bit and..."
"Wait! CAlm down! All of these noodles are poisonous and deadly. Only people from the church of Gluto can eat them! That is how we are receiving this friend's help!"
Seriously?! This is torture for starving people! Ah, that's when I understand why the area looks relatively deserted, and people hasten their steps when they come in front of that area.
As much as we want to eat, we need to remain alive to beat good food. Finbe, we will endrue for now.
"Alright, follow me, you all. We will get you some clothes."
"Clothes?! We don't need any. This isn't a case of being broke, but a case of following in the footsteps of our hero!"
"What?!"
"Yes, he ..."
I start telling him all about it and our resolve to become as strong as him. He looks our way extremely weirded out, but at this point, he just decides to roll with it.
So what if the City of Freedom has to become a half-nudist City to be revived from its ashes? What's the worst that can happen? It's just clothes...
Life can be so harsh at times. Before this ridiculous war, there were plenty of merchant caravans passing through. They would come from or toward Eaglevein, and we'd just happen to be there to steal a part of the treasure.
We have been training diligently recently, and we have definitely become stronger. But, it still doesn't change our situation! I can hear the band members grumbling again.
"I'm so hungry! I want real food, not tasteless roots anymore!"
"It can't be helped. At least we have something to eat. It could be worse. We could be members of that City of Starvation thingy."
"That doesn't help one bit! It's like saying: don't worry about getting tortured and killed because, in the other cell, a guy is getting tortured even more sadistically."
"What do you even mean?"
"Easy, this life is pure suffering! It's one thing that it's tasteless but what I truly hate is how this thing gives diarrhea. How are we supposed to fight when we can just start shitting ourselves any moment. This is worse than the taste by far!"
"Well, even then, it could be worse. Nowadays, we are training naked anyway. Not only is this amazing as an intimidation tactic, but it almost nullifies this issue too! Could you imagine if we had to change clothes?!"
I can't blame them either. Anyone satisfied with our current living situation is horrible, actually probably not human at all.
We can always go far away, but it usually ends up that we are blocked by one faction or another. We actually made it pretty far one time, yet we are always coming back.
This seems like a damn curse. The only comforting part is that we aren't the only ones stuck with it. The entire world is going to shit. In our area, it's a lot of liquid smelly one too.
I am still lowkey hoping for a miracle. At this point, I'll take anything, really. Hopefully, we find a nice plant in the wild that is easy to cultivate and eat. Or perhaps a merchant caravan would pass here for some ridiculous reason?
I have no clue, but at this point, I'm ready to beg too. This just isn't a life. It's ironic that we still have gold pilled up in our hideout. Talk about how useless that is!
Well, there is one good thing. That would be hunting. Animals, insects, other humans, anything. If it can be cooked we are happy to go after it.
Just as I'm despairing, I hear a shout.
"Boss! Look over there!"
What the hell is that?! There seems to be a huge creature coming our way. Its skin is the color of human flesh, but I don't know what it is. It does look soft, however. I can't help but salivate a bit as I watch the thing intently.
That is when I notice a small shadow next to him. What kind of thing is this? As the two things approach closer, I finally notice what it is. The small shadow is a human male.
He looks extremely weak and completely abused, and that's coming from a guy that soils himself on a daily basis.
That flesh thingy is extremely big. Honestly, any guess as to what it is would sound plausible. That is when the small man opens his mouth.
"I'll go straight to the point. You guys are having a rough time, we are also having a rough time, but we have an opportunity to get out of our slump.
I can't help but be raise an eyebrow in distrust and curiosity.
"Why would you extend this invitation to us? Where is the catch?"
"It's simple. We need more people on our side. We will also begin acting as bandits from now on. I figure your experience can make the acting smoother. I cannot believe you guys would want to remain here in this shithole."
He sounds right. But what if he is trying to take overly advantage of us? Ah, this is such a difficult choice. I look at my bandit members and....Wait! As I was thinking, they have all switched walked over to his side.
What kind of betrayal is that?! But then, I hear all of our stomachs rumble, every single one of us. It is the sound of an empty stomach, one that has been for a long time already and is getting desperate.
Actually, just this helps to sway me.
"So, what is the plan exactly?"
"The follower of Gluto will take care of the enemy while we will be in charge of the actual logistic, looting, cooking, anything that isn't related to directly eating."
It sounds fair and we are not afraid of hard work. I grin as I ask enthusiastically.
"So, when do we start?"
"How about now!"
"Perfect!"
We share a look, then we share a handshake, and finally, he brings us to the old City of Freedom. What is it now? Who knows. As we come closer, we see that it doesn't look that bad besides the starving population.
They have the exact same problem as us. This is kinda funny in a way. Who would have thought that us bandits and an official branch of a powerful sect would end up the same? Life can truly be strange at times.
That's when we all smell something. What is that?! We all rush forward, onl6y to be stopped by our new allies. Of course, we protest.
"Release us! Whatever this is, it smells like real food! It's been so long! Just a bit and..."
"Wait! CAlm down! All of these noodles are poisonous and deadly. Only people from the church of Gluto can eat them! That is how we are receiving this friend's help!"
Seriously?! This is torture for starving people! Ah, that's when I understand why the area looks relatively deserted, and people hasten their steps when they come in front of that area.
As much as we want to eat, we need to remain alive to beat good food. Finbe, we will endrue for now.
"Alright, follow me, you all. We will get you some clothes."
"Clothes?! We don't need any. This isn't a case of being broke, but a case of following in the footsteps of our hero!"
"What?!"
"Yes, he ..."
I start telling him all about it and our resolve to become as strong as him. He looks our way extremely weirded out, but at this point, he just decides to roll with it.
So what if the City of Freedom has to become a half-nudist City to be revived from its ashes? What's the worst that can happen? It's just clothes...
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