The Unnamed God. I'm really Not a God You Guys!

Thus continues another game of cat and mouse. Eh human and giant snake.

What the hell is wrong with this snake?! I'm just a pitiful weak human?

I'm basically very smol. Okay, I might not be that cute or tiny in comparison to other humans. But I'm totally smol compared to this bloodthirsty giant ass snake!

I keep running, it keeps slithering after me. Glaring all the while. Like seriously what's with that intense glare?!

It just acted hungry when it ate the angry uncle dude. Now it's looking at me like I am some kind of treasure.

What gives?!

I can already picture this chase animated into a comedy skit.

Yakety Sax playing, the scenery defiling. Always the same trees coming over and over again.

Of course, it would be shown in such a way that it is obvious that the characters are just running in place and it's just the background moving along.

Kinda like these driving scenes. Where it's painfully obvious the actors are just sitting there on their asses lol.

The fact that it's actually trying to eat me does lower the comedic level a lot however. Most often than not a lot of cartoons are really dark when you think about them.

Take that mouse and cat one. It's all fun and game until you realize the clever mouse is actually running for its life. One wrong move and it would be over.

I've always fantasized about doing something with such kid shows. Take years to learn to draw and animate. Then create an alternative episode where the cute little character actually gets eaten for real. Make it as gory as possible.

Then work my way up a broadcasting station. And extremely subtly change the planned episode for this twisted version of mine. Then watch the chaos unfold as thousands of youngsters are traumatized for life and enraged parents strike the network. Then I would disappear like the wind leaving behind a legend.

Of course, I would never do that. I'm no psychopath. But imagine the possibilities haha.

But yeah. Right now, my situation is not good. Not bad either since I can actually outrun the creature. But I'm not getting away. It's almost as if it's purposely staying the right distance behind me. That's impossible since it's clearly extremely motivated to snack on me looking at its gaze.

Well again, this is but normal. *Sigh* I am simply too handsome after all. Of course, I would appear even more handsome if I managed to act cool.

Actually, it is all about mindset. Yep. I know how to make my situation 100% better instantly.

I focus. Then I bring back my arms 90 degrees toward my back. And then I ….ninja run!!!!!

Did that actually improve my situation? Not really, but I'm having fun. HAHA.

We keep at it for a long time, until something appears in front.

OMG, THAT IS WOLFIE! With Zero and the small fox?

They seem to be casually chilling. This is perfect!

Wolfie can tell this baddie snake that I'm an ally-ish. I'm sure the wolf king's backing should be intimidating enough.

Worse case we'll use the power of friendship to violently beat the reptile to a pulp. Remember it's not disloyal to gang up on people if you call it friendship!

[Wolfie! Saaaaavveeeeeee me!]

I reach them out of breath…. not. Divine enhancement is awesome for stamina.

OMG doesn't that make me the ultimate kiter. How awesome would it be!

I already know the best way to go about it. Oh, I'll definitely use the technique I just thought about in my next fight!

They all look at me weirdly right now. Except for the snake. He still seems to want to devour me alive. But it stopped?

It's just staying a few meters away from me. Ever so keenly watching me. What is up with this creature?

"Welcome back sectmaster! What brings you here?"

[Hey Zero! Hum let me see some dumbass tried to do something he shouldn't have. I killed him by mistake. His uncle came back to town and tried to get rid of me. He ran after me. He's now in the belly of the snake over there. That's about it. Oh, and the flame boar is nowhere to be found? Hope he's fine. Probably.]

"I see. And what about saving you?"

[Oh that. Hum this snake is trying to eat me I think?]

"*Sigh* I think I'm aware of what is happening."

Wait…. there is only Zero and me here. With a fox, a wolf, and a snake.

"You really suck at this you know. That's really not how it's done."

WTF! It's the fox.

[YOU CAN SPEAK!??!]

"…"

"…"

Why are they all acting like it's common sense?!

Is speech normal for monsters nowadays? I was sure only the boar was special being able to speak while a rank 3.

Here is a rank 2 fox that is articulate and eloquent. What is wrong with this world! This shouldn't be possible! Then I'm supposed to be a rank 1 with no potential myself.

If I could survive in a disaster zone it's not surprising for one to learn to speak. Makes sense.

[So, hum, nice to meet you, I guess. Sorry about beating you up earlier. So why is the snake looking at me like that?]

"He's trying to do puppy eyes to get petted."

0_0 What?! I was not expecting that.

Like not at all.

I slowly approach the snaky being. Gaze as burning as ever. I extend my hand. It lowers its head slowly.

*petting*

It keeps its eyes open all the while. Staring at me. Snakes don't have eyelids after all. Its tongue flickering in and out of its gaping maw.

Now that I look at it carefully …it is kind of cute?

I'm sure this scene would look peculiar to an onlooker.

But the creature is enjoying getting petted. I'm enjoying it too. All is good.

Wait, now is not the time for this!

[Let's stop this and quickly search for your father Zero!]

"Oh. He's gone home already."

[He has?! What did I miss?!]

"Apparently he was chased by a necromancer but W*low growl* … the fox here took care of it."

[Seriously?! How?! He's super weak ….eh I mean …sorry about that…I mean I can see it happen if you brought the enemy into a trap. But I guess everything is fine now.]

"Yes sectmaster!"

The fox interjects. "No. That necromancer is still alive. What got destroyed was nothing but a dummy. His soul is still alive somewhere. It wouldn't be surprising if…"

[HELL NO! SHUT UP RIGHT NOW! THAT'S A FLAG!]

"…"

"…"

[If you say it out loud chances are something bad will happen. That's how flags work you know. Alright, let's head back to town. Then we can start making travel preparations. There is someplace I want to go.]

"Actually sectmaster, I'll stay here. You can go ahead without me."

[You mean you want to explore a bit? We can stay a few hours.]

"No, I've found the legacy of a powerful sword master here. I'll remain to study it."

There was such a thing in this forest? I've never seen the shadow of it. Weird. Is this what they call a protagonist aura? Being able to find hidden treasures easily? But there is something more important.

[No! What will I do without you?!]

"You'll be fine sectmaster. I believe in you.

I'm getting flashbacks right now.

I swear this is the last time I am bringing someone to this forest! They all end up parting way with me!

Fuck. What now?