The Villainess and I, her Zombie

"Huh... in that case, I guess the cooking and stuff will simply all fall on us."

Rotte summed it up with a nod.

"That's honestly not a bad deal... OW!"

He laughed but suddenly he jumped in pain when Lairs grind her heel on his toes.

"...fucking whatever... fucking, dumb Rotte..."

The elf grumbled furiously from under her hood.

Seeing that, Uresha and Lairs started laughing on their own and the mood lightened considerably.

"Say, Lairs. I've been wondering about something."

Surprisingly, Cranberry didn't just return to her books as she usually would do and instead started up another conversation.

"Fucking...! What it is, young lady?"

Without taking off her hood, Lairs grumbled in response.

"The way you're addressing your companions, how you change their names..."

"The fuck? You mean Ure-ure and Shan-shan? What's fucking wrong with how I call them?!"

Lairs instantly turned defensive and backed her head into the collar of her robe while answering in a cautious voice.

"Ha? Wrong? No, nothing is wrong with that."

Cranberry laughed waving her hand.

"It's just that I've read in one of my books that the particular way you are changing their names is a form of a baby talk amongst the young elves. And by that, I mean that younger children talk like that to their older siblings. It's rather adorable that you think of your companions in such a cute way."

"Sh-shut the fuck up! It's not like that at all!"

Even with half her face hidden beneath a hood and the not ideal lighting provided by the fire, everyone could see that Lairs face got crimson red from the embarrassment ash she flinched and started backing off so much that she almost fell down.

"Eh?! It was something like that?!"

Uresha gasped happily and turned to Lairs with sparkling eyes.

"Nope! No, it's fucking not!"

Lairs pulled her hood way over her face and shook her head from side to side to deny everything.

"Well yeah, we all grew up together so that's nothing strange. We all think about each other as family, right? You don't have to be embarrassed about it."

Shanks walked over to the beautiful elf who assumed a fetal position doing her best to disappear and patted her shoulder.

That left Rotte, looking between Lairs and Cranberry in confusion.

"Wait... Young lady, say, in that case how do older kids address the younger ones?"

He asked curiously.

"No! Rotte, shut the fuck up! It's not like that! And you, Shan-shan and Ure-ure! Stop making fun of me! I can't believe that even Ure-ure is bullying me!"

Lairs cried out in a pitiful voice.

"The older ones? My books never mentioned if there was a specific way. But when a younger child changes the name of their older sibling like that, it means that they really love and respect them. It's a really significant thing. Like I've said, it is a really adorable detail so it was easy for me to memorize it."

Even while witnessing Lairs's anguish – or maybe because of it - Cranberry calmly responded to the warrior's question.

"Oh! So it's like that..."

Rotte nodded with a solemn expression and turned his back to the red-haired girl and her servant and crouched by the embarrassed elf.

Uresha and Shanks exchanged glances and stepped aside.

"Hey...? Do you still remember? Back when we were kids you really wanted me to call you like that but I refused and said that it was stupid?"

"...!"

Rotte asked and Lairs flinched and stopped wiggling in anguish.

"Why didn't you tell me it was something like that? You know I'm thick-headed and thick-skinned."

The warrior continued.

"Shut the fuck up...! I don't remember a thing!"

Lairs cried shaking her head still hiding her face under the hood.

"And after I've said that you've even cried for an entire week..."

"Fuck off! No, I fucking didn't! It was only three days!"

The mage shouted, revealing that she did, in fact, remembered.

"Graough...? (Isn't three days still way too long...?)"

"Shhh!"

Zombie groaned confused but got hushed by Cranberry.

"Well... what I'm getting at is... I'm sorry. I didn't know any better and I was a stupid kid... and... I really hope that it's not too late for that but... I've honestly always thought about you as my dear sister. Lai-lai."

Rotte said softly.

"...!"

Lairs body trembled and she straightened her back slightly, giving up covering her face.

"...fucking brat... now you're saying that... you know how many years have passed…?"

She sniffled glaring at Rotte from underneath her hood.

"I'm sorry, I should have realized that it was something important to you..."

Rotte lowered his head and apologized again.

"...one more time..."

Lairs grumbled.

"Huh...?"

Rotte asked surprised.

"Say my fucking name like that one more fucking time!"

Lairs demanded getting angry and stomping her foot.

"Whoa! Okay, okay! Lai-lai, calm dow...!"

Rotte said but wasn't even able to properly finish his sentence because the next moment Lairs threw herself at him, locking the man in a protective embrace.

"Stupid fucking stinking brat! Took you fucking long enough! Your sister was so fucking worried that you hated her!"

Big heavy tears were streaming down Lairs's face.

"I promise that I will be the fucking best older sister ever!"

She declared crying into Rotte's shoulder.

"Whoa! Lai-lai! Calm down, it's okay, you always were the best older sister anyway, you don't have to start acting any different! And aren't we too old to act like that?"

Rotte patted her back awkwardly not knowing what to do.

"No! No we're fucking not! Fuck...! I'm...! I'm so happyyy...!"

But instead of calming down, Lairs started crying at least twice as hard as before.

"Graough? (Master, what is this all about?)"

Zombie groaned raising his brow and tilting his head.

Cranberry beckoned him closer, and when he leaned in, she whispered in his ear.

"Elves value their family way more than their own lives, don't you think that after my little intervention Lairs will look at us more favorably?"

She smirked.

"Graough...? (Well, yeah, sure, but why would you bother to help them with that...?)"

Zombie growled back, even more confused.

"...haa... weren't you the one who told me that I should use the carrot and the stick method? Well, I just gave our spellcaster a nice carrot that she was yearning for many years. Now we should be able to properly use the Dandelions without worrying that they will turn on us."

Cranberry's eyes glistened evilly and she winked at her servant.