They Called Me FIVE

LANCE

At the distance. I heard it. The howling that does not belong in this world. We immediately rush out of the house. Leaving the silent argument Magnus and Seven has. Leaving the dead bodies of Jesper's cannibal family.

He doesn't seem as stricken as I expected him to be. Sure, he's shock. And I think he couldn't possibly forgive me but....so far, from his actions and the stubborn silence he put on...He's struggling inside.

He must be having a hard time convincing himself. That the twisted 'home' he always had is gone. And he has nowhere to go except to come with us.

At the yard, I watch cans driving back to houses. Parking in garage lot. Small kids get off and hop on to their doorsteps. Their mothers greeting them looking a bit haggard and wearing apron. Probably preparing for their snacks...

It took me a moment to realize the sun is already on the other side of the horizon. Pinching through the clouds to shine the house roofs. It's already afternoon.

We left in a hurry. Magnus stopping by to the basement to fetch the thing he forgot. He threw me the duffel bag. Along with new supplies I don't know how he manage to scavenge in seconds.

Ignoring the neighborhood giving us the curious stares, we cross the road. Run in the sidestreet as fast as we could. My lungs barely keeping up to my pace. Magnus sprints beside me. Jesper and Sam behind me. And then Seven.

LANCE

I suddenly found myself clutching my heart. A strange ache squeeze my chest, making it harder to breath.

Foreign sensations swept over me. Something is stuck at the deepest part of my mind. A memory.

Locked away by olden years and flooding other memories. But I'm sure. The image has me and Seven on it. Sitting inside a room, red curtains are draped at the glass window, we are situated right across each other. Pile of books stood between us. I can see her face.

The light aura of life blooming around her. I want to reach out to this Seven. Ask her what is this? Am I really reincarnated?

Is this my past life? Then who am I really? Who is the me who go by the name Lancelot? Suddenly, the pleasure and intoxication I felt from absorbing life force is gone.

My mind is suddenly clear. I can breathe and sense of doubts washed over me. Why did I raise my dead bones again?

To fight? Fight what?

Seven?

I look at her. She back away from me. Her eyes refusing to look at me. Yet I stared at her openly. Struck at the shameful behaviors I've been showing to her since this morning.

She did not necessarily ask me to kill. It was her, begging for help. And after I confide to her all the things I could never tell myself....I really am shameless.

"Seven...I -" I stretch my hand, hanging in the air. Would an apology suffice? I can feel Magnus and Sam stare at the back of my neck. Almost as if urging me to go on. Apologize.

Now that the intoxication effect is gone, I felt so drained and tired. It was one of those feelings after you finish working on your assignments. My blessing squeezes the juice out of me.

I realized why Seven and Magnus are so adamant in not letting me raise a dead army.

"You were right. I'm sorry." I look down at my hands. A flicker in the air made my heart pump all the blood flushing to my brain. I just saw my hand, in skeletal form. A shiver went to my spine.

Maybe she's really right. I was unstable. I was reckless. I let my blessings overwhelm me. Now I'm experiencing the aftermath. Maybe my blessing is not really a friend. Maybe I need to exert control on it. Before it overtake me.

This power must love messing with people's lives. I was suffering the side effects. Because I was negligent. I was too trusting... That this power won't crank up my reasons so bad, it will cloud my ability to think.

"If you're thinking this happened because of your blessing but you're wrong." Seven murmur.

"What?"

"Just please....don't use it too much. Raising the dead bodies with unsettled grudge can wear you off. Because the moment you decide to tap your powers on them, their burden will become yours. Their grudge will be your chains. Their hatred will be their hold to tie you towards them, sticking their selves to you... forever."

I was taken aback. "That...is that even possible?"

Magnus walks and stops between us. He study Seven. "It is true." He cock his head.

"How did you know about that Seven? As far I know, that information is only seen and recorded in the journal of Lancelot." He gestured towards me.

"There's no way you can have knowledge about it. Only the Rank Elders have. And believe me the current Rank Elders now are the only people who discovered and knew the contents. Except me."

Seven and Magnus have a stare down contest. I backed away. Mindful not to get caught in their silent bickering. Sam skidded awkwardly beside me. Jesper is on his side.

"Hey, bro. You okay?"

I nod. "Sorry. I just..."

"Lost it?"

I blink. "I uh... I don't know. I just can't get it out of my head. That feeling..." I look down at my hands.

Even now I can still feel it. The remnants of life force dancing at my palms. Is this really my blessing?

If I don't take control of it, it will control me? What kind of f*cked up logic is this? First it abandons me because I'm too brash now it abandons me because I'm letting it take control? I mean, what the heck?

"You're not alone." Jesper said roughly. I turn to meet his desolated eyes. Gazing at his family sprawling in the ruin of their shabby staircase.

"I'm sorry." I don't know if this words is enough. I don't know if it will get through him or this will separate us further.

He slowly shakes his head.

"Don't be." His body is stiff at my side. His mouth hardened at his words. "You only did me a favor. Killing them. Their acts should be stopped...but instead of stopping them I joined them. I lend them this power."

The blue faint light dance at his finger tips and he raise his arm. The light blasted off him, recocheting through space. The walls, the stairs, the tables, everything inside the house fix itself.

Debris hover in the air and attach itself to scrapes and chips of walls. I watch in amazement. Both Jesper and Sam can fix things. Through the blessing of time, Jesper can revert or flash forward the time of an object or person by his will.

Sam can command any object to move through telekinesis. He can use it as defense and offense. Use it to disarm his enemies...

What about me? What can I do? I've been nothing but an excess baggage to this group. I clench my fist to my side.

This can't go on. I must train. Listen to what Seven said. I should not rely more on my blessings.

As much as I hate it. I'm back to where I was before. Back when my blessing made its presence known to me. Back when Dad used to drill on my skull how to protect myself.

I will seal my power if I have to.